So, I'm just going to start a few diary pages in here since I already have readers on this book. Anyways, I want to explain why I haven't been active or updating much.

Things haven't been going well between my caregiver and I.

I'm starting to realize more and more that he isn't the one for me and I'm not even sure that I like boys anymore in all honesty. I've been questioning my sexuality a lot, which is super stressful and chaotic since we're still together.

That's obviously one of the big issues, but another is that he just isn't everything I want in a caregiver.

He doesn't baby me like I would like, basically ever, he is embarrassed when I regress really small, and he refuses to diaper me into a clean one even, no grossness or anything required. He says the thought of me just wearing them is gross and he honestly wishes I wasn't into the ABDL part of DDLG at all.

Those are just a few of the things. We are still together right now, but I'm sure it won't be much longer. We've talked and decided that we'd be friends when we break up, since it's neither of our faults really. He'd still be my caregiver until I find a new one, but honestly, I'm still not even comfortable being little around him and he's been my caregiver since around May of 2019.

I still feel like a nuisance or that he's weirded out by it. I'm sorry if you didn't want to see this rant, but I needed to talk about it and get feedback or something. I just can't bottle it up any longer. Please let me know of any advice you have or just thoughts in general if you want to. I'll keep you guys posted.

Right now, I'm even having a conversation with him while I'm writing this, over text. It might be the end and we could very possibly be broken up by the time I've posted this.