The last few days I couldn't stop crying...

I spent nights thinking and came to the conclusion that I really can't live without Nate and that he just means too much to me. He will return this evening. I don't know what I'm going to do yet, but something has to be done, I have to talk to him.

I sat down in front of my computer and started up a video game. Maybe this could help clear my mind.

But it didn't help at all...

I still saw Nate's smile in my thoughts. I can't get hem out of my head. I sighed and lay down on the floor.

The day passed very slowly and I was really looking forward to the moment he comes home. When I heard the front door open, I immediately jumped up. I opened my door and looked around the corner who was there, and as expected Nate was there. His look seemed emotionless, it is clear that he is also having a hard time with the situation. It's all my fault.

Mom and Benjamin helped Nate put his things away and my eyes met Nate's for a few seconds. I wish I could see him smile again like before.

When Nate was alone in the hallway, I saw him thinking. I'm sure he would like to come to me, but he couldn't. He walked to the living room where Mom was.

I stared at the ground, I feel so terrible. I don't know what to do. Maybe I should just give it some time... I guess.

"Did you know that you are very beautiful?"

I still remember that sentence he said. I'm replaying his voice over and over again in my mind. I've never wanted to touch him as much as I do now. I fucking miss him.

I closed my door again and thought. I'm going to write a letter.

I walked to my desk and searched for a pen and a sheet of paper.

I thought very carefully about the words I was going to use, but after half an hour I had my letter ready.

Hi Nate. It's me.

I just wanted to say that I'm really sorry for everything

that happened and that I really miss you. I really want to talk to you again.

Please come to my room tonight. Then we are alone.

I folded the letter and looked in the hallway to make sure no one was around. When it turned out to be safe, I walked silently to Nate's room and slipped the letter under his door. I ran back to my room as quickly as possible. I didn't meet anyone, luckily.

I leaned against my door and sighed. I really hope he reads it and comes, I'll wait for him.