"I come running to you like a moth into a flame."

— defenseless by louis tomlinson

★ 彡 It's a sort of alarm going off in Bill's head as he is standing up in Stan's room, biting his nails. He's not sure how to approach this. It's not like Georgie hasn't done this before. Every kid wants to rebel against their parents and stay at a friend's house without their mother's knowledge. Bill doesn't want to decide what to do for himself, so he looks over to Stan's sleeping form.

And all of a sudden, Stan's woken up with a hard shove and a phone being pressed to his ear, Bill's mother pestering him. She's asking him if he'd seen Georgie. It takes him a couple of seconds to yawn and open his eyes before he looks to Bill, uncertain of his answer. Bill silently shakes his head, seeming to calm for the conversation, to begin with. Shouldn't he be worried his little brother didn't come home the night before?

"Hi, Mrs. Denbrough. This is Stan, Bill's boyfriend." He hadn't realized he had even said it, but from Bill's eyes that are widening next to him, Stan's figured out fast enough at Bill hasn't gotten around to tell her anything yet. He doesn't have time to ask Bill what his mother knows because she's not done talking.

"No, we haven't seen Georgie. Do you have any ideas on where we could look to find him?" Stan asks in his professional, trying to calm the angry and worried parent over voice, and Bill sends him a grateful look. She seems taken back by him almost.

"Uh, I have no idea. Boyfriend, you said?" Right. He may have spilled the beans on that one. On the other hand, Bill's eyes look calmer at this point. Bill's mother also hasn't hung up the phone on him, so he can confidently say the odds are on his side.

"Yes, ma'am. Are you home right now? Did you call the police?" Why is he the only logical one right now?

"I'm at work, and no, I didn't call the fucking pigs. Can't trust any of them to do their jobs," The mother snaps angrily over the phone. Stan tries to not take offense to it, considering it seems her worry for her son has probably taken over.

"Okay, well. Bill and I will look for him. Don't worry," Stan nervously lets out but doesn't let it show through the call. Mrs. Denbrough hangs up on him next, and he throws the phone on his bed, using his hands to rub over his eyes.

"Your mom's sorta a bitch." He lets out, looking up at Bill's whose perched at the side of his bed, looking down at him and beginning to smile.

"We should look for your brother, yeah?" Bill nods as they both go to get changed as quickly as possible. "Do you know where he is?"

Bill looks over at him when he's throwing on a shirt, giving him a shrug. Stan gives him a confused look in return, almost judgmental. Bill decides to not press him on it.

They make it downstairs in record time before bumping into Mr. Uris, staring at them both with wide eyes. Bill gulps in a large breath, looking up at Stan for his reaction, but finding a blank one.

"You boys want some breakfast?"

So Stan's Dad has decided to not comment on why the two boys are running down the stairs and are now both holding hands.

"No, we're good, thanks. I'll see you later," Stan smiles at him in a kind tone, but almost a wary one as well. Bill assumes his testing out the waters with him. He doesn't get to look for any sort of reaction for the two of them because Stan's pulling him out the door.

The car ride to Derry Elementary is oddly tense. Sure, add one mute boy, one awkward boy, and the car ride is inevitable of it being tense. But Bill thinks it's never been like this. Stan's presence has always had a way of making it almost seem like Bill was talking back to him like Stan wasn't just talking to a wall. Something's different. Even the air is tense around them.

After Stan's called Georgie's friends' houses to make sure he wasn't there, they both make it to Derry Elementary School within the next five minutes. Bill and Stan both hop out of Stan's car. Bill looks around the school parking lot, nervously biting his lip when he doesn't see a single student there. It's not like Bill was expecting anyone considering the school's not in session, but Bill would like to find Georgie soon. He's most likely fine, but he doesn't want to have his mother's worrying about him too.

"B? I'll check classes upstairs. You check downstairs, okay?"

Bill nods back to Stan and follows him into the school without realizing what he's been put into.

He thinks about the possibility that Georgie's been locked into a classroom all night, and begins his search through the different doors. Bill doesn't even realize much time has gone by the time he's made it to the end of the hall with no luck. He huffs out a breath and decides to go look for Stan instead.

When walking up the steps in the school towards the second floor, he hears Stan's voice.

"It just seems like he doesn't care that his own brother's missing."

Bill stands frozen on the steps, unsure whether to move or not. Clearly, Stan's talking on the phone with who is unknown to him. He feels a pang on his chest listening to what Stan is saying, subconsciously crosses his arms over his chest.

"I know, I get that. But it's just hard sometimes. I just want to know how he's feeling. All of the time. And I can't have that," Stan continues, and Bill notices Stan's voice growing closer towards him with the volume and echo of it.

"I just wish he'd just say some—"

They come face to face on the stairs, and Bill watches with a hurt expression as Stan slowly takes his phone from his ear and shuts it off. Bill knows internally he shouldn't be angry with him considering everyone in his life thinks the same thing about him and his muteness. Bill had wanted to believe that Stan was different than the rest of them. That he loved him for who he was.

"Bill—,"

Bill wants to tell him to fuck off or go suck a dick, or go find someone that will make him happier, and maybe he's being dramatic, but instead, he turns around and heads down the stairs.

Stan doesn't waste much time to catch up to him and pulls on his shoulder to turn Bill around, a hurt look on Stan's face that confuses Bill.

"I'm sorry, okay? It's just hard sometimes. I didn't mean to hurt your feelings or whatever," Stan admits, waiting for Bill's reaction. He wants to forgive him and pretend the last two or so minutes never happened, but he can't. If Stan had a problem with him, he should he went to him with it, not whoever was on the other side of his damn phone.

So Bill pushes himself back and starts leaving once again, only to be stopped by Stan stepping in front of him. Stan's expression changed in the last few seconds, gone from hurt to pissed.

"Are you serious? I'm allowed to feel like this. Why're you acting so bitchy?"

Bill's hands ball into fists at the tone of Stan's voice, and Bill crossing his arms tighter around his chest, narrowing his eyes. Stan seems to notice this and narrows his eyes back to him.

"I get you don't talk," Stan starts, a voice calmer and less judgmental, making Bill's eyes immediately soften. "And I get you don't want to talk. I just want to know how you're feeling. You're happy, right? I just don't understand."

Bill doesn't understand either. He's happy. So why doesn't Stan see that? He nods anyway.

"If you're so happy, why don't you talk to me?"

He's getting flashbacks to his dad in seconds. The restaurant with him, pushing him to his limits with petty arguments, and standing up to leave for a breather in the restroom. Hearing the gunshots from in there. Banging on the door to try to get to him, twisting on the doorknob hard enough to break it off the door. Seeing his dad's body on the floor minutes later. How he'd never been able to say goodbye.

"Baby? What's wrong?"

Bill zones back into his surroundings and registers Stan standing in front of him, a confused and hurt look on his face, an expression Bill's seen too much this morning.

Bill shakes his head and stumbles forward, catching himself in Stan's arms and feels his eyes burn as Stan hugs him back.

"I'm sorry, Bill," Stan apologizes, and Bill shakes his head again. He wants to tell him that he's sorry. That's it's okay for him to doubt their relationship. It's human. He wants to tell him that sometimes Bill doesn't know how he's feeling either and that Bill also doesn't know how Stan is feeling. But most of all, he wants to tell him he loves him back.

As they walk outside, the clouds clear over the sky creating an illusion of their whole world becoming a bit darker, but Bill feels a bit lighter. He thinks back to his father, but this time to their Friday night's spend at Denny's, or his dad taking him into his office to show him around. How Bill had doodled over some worksheets of his and saw them tucked in his father's desk drawer after his funeral.

He thinks back to his parents playing and singing along to that familiar song on the piano that he can't seem to remember at the moment. How bright his mother's face had looked that day. How she's never looked so bright and happy since that day. He thinks she'll never be the same either, that she'll never move on. For the first time, he thinks maybe that's not his responsibility.

He remembers the day his dad had found out he was gay too. It was an accident, a magazine found under Bill's bed that had been given to him by a friend. He remembers his dad sitting him down and telling him that he loved him, that he would do anything to protect him. That love is love is love is love.

"Bill? You coming?"

Bill sees Stan. Really sees him. His untamed, curly hair and his crinkled eyes. His sad smile and his hand outstretched for him. Stan's car behind him, and all the memories they've shared in it. Their first drive together. Their first date. Their first time. He thinks back to the first time he'd seen him. Riding on his bike when Bill was moving in. How sad he'd looked and how Bill vowed to himself to make him happy. How Bill hadn't noticed that first day that Stan looked back at him too.

He loves Stan so much. All of him.

So he tells him.

+

bill has spoken!

& vote blue!

(also dw about

georgie, he's fine)