"is it alright to feel this way this early?"

— softly by clairo

warning: light smut

★ 彡 thrown around Stan's neck, lips fastened to him as Stan pushes him back against the shower wall, the tiles digging into his back, cold and unforgiving, but Bill doesn't care. He feels Stan's tongue slip inside, silently gasping around it before his tongue licks at it taste the bitterness from a beer he'd stolen from Richie hours before, the salt from chips he'd managed to nick off of Mike, the sweetness like slow dripping honey right at the back of Stan's throat.

They only stop kissing long enough to breathe, Stan panting a laugh as he looks on Bill with some sort of silly amazement. Bill gulps and glides his fingers through Stan's curls, just the way Stan likes and pecks him on the cheek. Bill's embarrassed to state he's more nervous than he seems to be acting at the moment, considering Stan hasn't slowed down. It's not like Bill wasn't expecting this, he even started it to begin with, but shower sex was a whole new level for them.

"You're incredible," Stan whispers against Bill's neck, fingers digging into Bill's hips, lips leaving small red bruises just below his collarbone before they're inching up and sucking gently on Bill's neck. The water from the shower is dripping down on both of them, and Stan's still got his bloody socks on, but they're only focusing on each other as they go in once again.

Bill should be worried about Stan's father that's most definitely home and probably somewhere downstairs, but between Stan's tongue sliding down his neck and hands pulling on his hair, he's not exactly thinking straight.

"I'm going to lift you," Stan warns him a bit later, tongue swiping over Bill's teeth as his arms encircle Bill's midsection.

It doesn't quite set in, Stan's words, but then he feels it, Stan's muscles going taut as he pulls Bill up, holds him secure and closes to his own body and Bill's eyes go more than a little wide, pulling back from the kiss. Stan's grinning below him, Bill's arms wrapping tightly around Stan's neck and there's an inch of fear crawling up his spine until Stan's kissing along his chest, tongue swiping over a nipple, teeth dragging over his skin and Bill's there again, kissing Stan's forehead.

He's working his hips downward, sliding just a little in Stan's grip, working any inch of his body possible over Stan's length and —

Stan's phone rings from outside the shower.

"Jesus Christ. Sorry, gimme a sec —," and suddenly Bill's being brought down back on the ground. He huffs in annoyance, trying to get Stan back towards him, but Stan's already reaching for his phone and clicking on the accept button, barely even looking at the screen.

"What the fuck do you want?" He sounds out of breath and almost furious, and Bill chokes out a silent laugh at him attempting to be intimidating.

"Stan. I'm going to kill myself. I think I'm gonna do it. Ok, so you know how I'm basically in love with Eds, right? Well, I kinda maybe told him?"

Bill's eyes widen the same time as Stan's do.

"Well, ok. I didn't. I told him that Myra's a bitch and he got really fucking mad at me, but then I told him I'm better than her in like every way possible. So, I think he got the memo?"

"You think?" Even though it's been minutes since Bill's kissed him, Stan still sounds so out of breath, Bill's chest fills with a weird sense of pride.

"Oh my god. Are you having sex right now? Is Bill fucking jerking you off right now? Stanley! Is the fucking phone on speaker?"

"What the fuck? No — I mean — Bill's here. But, no," Stan coughs out awkwardly, and Bill squats at his shoulder for exposing him. He should be happy for Richie, finally telling Eddie his true feelings — in a sort of Richie way — but all he can think about his how that son of a gun ruined his whole night filled with handjobs and beautiful shower sex.

"Stan, you slut!" Richie gasps sarcastically, cackling on the other end of the phone. "I'm calling your dad on you."

He hangs up, and Bill pecks his cheek. They don't believe Richie's threat for even a second. "Kinda ruined the heat of the moment, yeah?" Stan asks carefully, looking down at him with his beautiful eyes and his beautiful hair, and god, Bill's so in love with him he could cry right here. He's only known his favorite person in the whole world for merely five months and he's fallen so far in love.

Instead of being dramatic like his internal thoughts, he merely nods and allows Stan's help out of the shower.

It's not that late, maybe eight or nine at night, but they're laying on Stan's bed anyway. Stan's got his head against Bill's chest, Bill's hand slowly running through Stan's curls, and he's never felt happier. Stanley seems to be telling him about something that happened in Astronomy, something like Eddie shooting spitballs at Ben and Beverly, but to be completely honest, he's not paying attention.

It's almost twenty minutes later when Stan falls asleep and Bill takes out his journal from his backpack, eyeing some of the last things he'd scribbled down that day. He'd asked Beverly to pass him a pencil in their second period, kindly told Richie to shove it up the ass when he tried to give him a wet willy hours ago at Mike's, and finally scribbled down that he was fine when Stan asked after they left Mike's. And he is fine. For once. It's almost unfamiliar for him to be exceedingly content with his life, foreign to him, but he completely is.

He should've known that when you've reached your highest high, your lowest lows are just waiting on the other side. He thinks this must be the peak of the mountain for him, the part of the movie where everything is going too good, but you are soon to realize that the movie's only halfway through, and something's got to go terribly wrong (the valley, he thinks) for the true ending to come. But is it a happily ever after Disney movie for him or one where the ending isn't much better than the beginning.

When he wakes up the next morning, it isn't to Stan moving next to him, or poking his cheek, it's to his phone buzzing, and his mother's contact showing up on the screen.

It's what gets him to sit up and what gets his heart to start beating faster than humanly possible, and he might be getting dramatic, but his mother never calls him.

He answers the phone quickly, holding it up to his ear and listens to his mother's voice.

He thinks he's found his valley.

~*~

so sorry this is so short!

i'll update this week but

i just wanted to get this out.

also this is the closest i'll get

to smut cuz i didn't put

a warning at the beginning.

it feels dirty to write lol.

-penny