"and you know that we're doomed. my dear,

we're slow dancing in a burnin' room."

- john mayer

★ 彡 with humor. he's always done that, and i think he always will. it explains his lack of relationships; he just can't be serious, even if everybody else is, he just cracks a joke to break the ice. except when he's with eddie. it's different from him i guess. they've been friends the longest, now that i think of it." stan explained in a quieter tone, almost whispering next to bill. bill laid on his bed, under the covers with his head facing stan who had chosen to sit on bill's beanbag in the center of bill's small room.

bill yawned and scooted over, patting the bed next to him and stared at stan nervously until stan stood up, turned off the lights in the room, and cautiously laid down next to bill, but not too close. they both agreed after leaving new york two days ago that they were going to take it slow for both of their sakes, even though stan wanted to kiss him until their lips were bruised. but he would be patient with bill.

"is georgie sleeping?" stan asked, and bill nodded, and even though stan could hardly make out his face in the darkroom with only a hint of midnight moonlight shining down on the both of them, he could see the nod. stan had crawled through the window nearly an hour before, and after a couple of minutes of random chit-chat about their friday routines, bill asked through a piece of notebook paper why richie was still moping about eddie and myra's afternoon in new york.

stan then continued his talking to bill and bill would nod his head or give him a confusing gaze, something to get stan to continue as if he was in the conversation at all. stan had told him of how each of them met and from that time to the present. how mike had liked bev in the past but decided they should be friends and years later met his current girlfriend, carol. how mike gaped the first time he had looked at her because of how beautiful she looked, and how he continued to love her today. "they are so happy together." stan had told bill and smiled to himself, and stan could tell bill wanted to be happy like mike and carol. stan decided at that moment to make bill that kind of happy that he hoped for.

it been eating at stan for days now, eating at him because he kisses bill and touches him and feels his body against his own, but he doesn't know if he's allowed to hold his hand or trace his fingers along the ridges of bill's arms, and he wants to. he scared because bill said to take it slow and stan doesn't want to scare him away and wants to make sure that they are on the same page but he also wants to intertwine their fingers and feel bill's palm against his and this thing –this thing where he misses the feel of bill's hands, misses how bill's skin feels against his happens a lot when he's not with him.

it happens at school lunch when stan sneaks off to the library with bill and they're sitting on the floor against a shelf and bill's talking about some biological find and stan' watching him, watching the way his bright eyes are smiling along with his lips, and how his dimple digs into his cheeks when he's so excited about something, and he wants to reach over feel the dimple beneath his fingers and feel bill's hand against his, wants to feel the warmth of bill's hands against his, wants to tell bill that he likes listening to bill talk, likes that bill gets excited about stupid things and he likes bill. likes him a lot.

and it happens when they're in class and they're taking a test and bill's hands are gently tapping against his desk and his lips are pursed in his mouth and his dark brows are knit together because he's concentrating on something difficult, and stan wants to reach over and interlock their hands together, wants to feel bill's pulse under his fingertips and feel the curves of his fingers pressing against his own and he wants to tell him it's okay, you can do it; don't stress.

and it happens when some kids from bowers' crew are shoving bill around in the hallway, knocking his books around and calling him names, and stan' shoving them back and telling them to fuck off and bashing their heads into lockers, and he's dragging bill away before they come after them by his wrist (even though he knows bill is smart and can overtake henry any day). he wants to slip his hand into bill's and tell him i'm here, i'm always here and i won't ever let anybody hurt you and i'm sorry, but he doesn't. doesn't slip his hand into bill's hand, because he doesn't know if he can, doesn't know if that's a thing they can do or if bill even wants it or needs it.

and it's just that stan wants to take him out on dates and take him to the movies and pay for his dinner and his snacks and he wants to watch stupid rom coms with him and hold his hand in the dark and kiss him whenever he feels like it and buy him stupid trinkets that remind him of bill when they're apart and press kisses to his skin when bill laughs at him. and he wants to miss him when he's gone and call him at night to tell him he misses his touch, but he doesn't know if he's allowed to. he doesn't know if bill wants it, and he's too scared to ask because he doesn't want to get hurt. he doesn't want bill to tell him no.

"'you still awake?" stan whispered after minutes of silence, and bill nodded. stan reached out to touch bill's face, his hand rubbing gentle circles around his cheek, hoping that holy jesus, he's not making bill uncomfortable because he just wants to fucking touch and feel his face in his hands. bill let himself lift his body upwards so he is looking down at stan minutes later before he softly kissed him on the lips, and stan smiled into the kiss, still holding bill's face in his hands. and, oh god, he was smiling so wide they were hardly even making out at this point but it didn't matter because stan knew bill felt the same about him and he had never felt happier.

that was until stan saw a particular annoying fuckface open the window of bill's bedroom.

"richie?!" stan practically yelled, pulling bill off of him gently, before receiving a punch in the arm from bill to quiet down since georgie and bill's room were sleeping. and maybe for stopping their makeout session too soon.

richie tozier stumbled into the room from the window and snorted at the sight of bill laying on top of stan. "what, 'you two banging now?" richie laughed as stan flipped on the light switch and stood up, bill sitting up straight on the bed, face red.

"no, dipshit," stan replied bluntly, proceeding to flip richie off, making bill giggle. "now, what the fuck are you doing here?"

"we are gonna go to bev's. her dad's outta town for a few days," eddie explained, popping his head cautiously through the window before pulling richie out of the room and outside with him seconds after, whispering to him about how bill's parents were probably sleeping. richie rolled his eyes and ruffled eddie's hair, telling him something along the lines that parents loved him anyway.

"they seem... better," stan coughed, eyebrows raised to bill once richie and eddie were out of their vision. bill shrugged, still recovering from their kiss and the shock of richie showing up in his room unannounced, which now didn't seem that hard to believe, and grabbed his boots and coat from his closet, and grabbed himself one too. and some pants.

"okay, you ready?'' stan asked, trying to fit bill's sweatshirt over his head even though bill was skinnier than him and it looked a couple of sizes too small. bill chuckled at his attempt before turning off the light and following him out the window.

stan jumped out the window and turned back to watch bill jump out behind him, reaching out his hand to help him get down from the first floor room. bill closed the window most of the way before they walked out to the front yard. stan never let go of bill's hand, leaving them both blushing.

"c'mon, dickheads!" richie yelled from his beatdown truck, most likely his dad's, and was immediately shushed by eddie, slapping his arm from the passenger seat.

"we're coming," stan said back quieter, hopping in the back seat along with bill, who seemed unsure with this whole thing happening, especially with richie driving him like a lunatic down his neighborhood.

along the drive bill noticed eddie and richie seemed to be acting completely normal, which he didn't seem to understand considering he had overhead stan on the phone with a very distraught richie only a day ago. whatever richie was doing to keep his guard up and laugh along with eddie, making jokes and singing to the radio happily, he was doing it very well.

bill's phone lit up in his lap and he reached for it, looking at his most recent text from stan: i know you wanted to take it slow, sorry.

bill smiled down at it, thankful stan had thought through bill's wishes, and quickly replied: don't apologize. i kissed you. he waited a few seconds before adding: and i really liked it.

he glanced up at stan and blushed, noticing stan was already looking at him before he scooted closer to the slightly taller teenager and let his head rest on his shoulder.

"the fuck? are you guys sexting back there?! me and spaghetti can practically feel the sexual tension from up here," richie cackled, pretending to gag, and stan rolled his eyes and told him to shut his trap, throwing an empty water bottle from the floor at the curly haired, lunatic driver who was currently staring at the smaller teen in the passenger like he had richie wrapped tightly around his finger. maybe he did.

+

hi!! i hope you guys are staying safe with

corona going on:) i actually really like this

chapter which is rare because i frickin suck

at writing fluff. anyway update on my life

nobody asked for: my 9 month anniversary

with my bf was yesterday, i'm applying to

colleges right now, and i dyed my hair black!

(it was dark brown b4) also i might be obsessed

with tiktok oops!! ok bye feel free to give

suggestions or comment something random:)

ily all so so much

- penny