' 𝐡𝐨𝐦𝐞 𝐜𝐚𝐧 𝐛𝐞 𝐚 𝐩𝐞𝐫𝐬𝐨𝐧 '

"you okay?" i heard in the distance, but i didn't look up at who had spoke, my hands placed firmly over my face. i didn't dare move, my whole body quivering. they are going to hate me. i messed everything up.

i heard sniffling, a small voice coming to mind. "i'm fine, rich. it's not big deal."

"no big deal?! she slapped you eds! you fucking hurt you! and look at your wrists, they're purple from her damn grip." a deep voice cried, the voice cracking in the response multiple times.

the voices continued, but i didn't listen in, i just huffed quietly in my hands on my face, not wanting to face anyone.

"bill?" i heard, and flinched just a bit. stan waited for a reply, as if he would get one. i didn't reply, obviously.

"bill, are you okay? it's not your fault. you helped eddie even, because now he broke up with that bitch." stan huffed, and i felt him sit down next to me, and i shakily grabbed my phone.

bill: bring me home.

he only nodded, grabbing my hand and pulling me up off the couch. i didn't bother to look at everyone, and we walked out of the house, my heart feeling fuzzy from his grip.

he wasn't gay. that truthful phrase rolled into my head as i let go of his hand, holding my two hands together. his face was bright red, and i felt a bit guilty.

"i'm... sorry." he breathed out, and i only looked at him confused, as if to ask why. "i convinced you to come. i shouldn't have."

i shook my head, no, but was too tired out to take out my phone to answer him, and we got into his car in silence, a comfortable silence.

georgie slept in my bed that night as i cried next to him, and he continuously asked me what was wrong, but i didn't answer him, only crying harder and harder until i fell into a deep sleep.

the jeans i had wore to bed, had left marks around my waist from how tight they were on the top, and i took them off and replaced them with sweatpants in the morning, along with a plain grey t-shirt, which shared my mood on the misty morning in derry, maine.

georgie was up out of the bed in six in the morning, hopping around the house in glee, playing with his boats as usual, the ten year old having a wild imagination for his age.

i dragged my feet to the kitchen, accepting that my mom wasn't awake, and probably would sleep all day, and i fixed georgie his favorite, eggo waffles.

"thanks billy." georgie said as he grabbed his plate of waffles, and began eating as the doorbell rang.

i scribbled in my notebook, "i'll be right back." to georgie, before heading to the door, looking through the peak hole.

stan.

i wanted to open the door, but i ended up just staring at his golden curls, his deep, brown eyes that made me lost in my thoughts, like people said in books, that i didn't believe until i saw him for the first time. after a few moments, he rang again, and i snapped back into reality, opening the door to look at him, phone in hand.

he looked okay, and that's all that mattered at the time. he had no dark circles under his eyes, and his hair was neatly brushed down, but some curls had managed to stick out.

"you look terrible." he commented, making me laugh a cold laugh, knowing i did. i was the opposite, dark circles tinted under my brown eyes that shook with sorrow, pale skin, pale ethan usual, and hair that i had not managed to clean up.

i gave him a small, thanks, with my little knowledge of sign language, and he seemed to understand, walking inside my house. it was almost like it was his own home, but it wasn't my home either.

home was somewhere you felt special, somewhere you felt safe, and this was not it.

☼ ☼ ☼

bev: quarry?

mike: comin now

eds: ^^

ben: coming in 5

rich: i am if eds is ;)

eds: uhhh dont call me that rich

rich: u love me

eds: do i?

rich: yes

eds: ok i do

rich: WAIT

stan: bill and i are coming now.

i closed my phone, not caring to hear the rest of richie and eddie's flirting session, and hopped on my bike, attempting to catch up with stan, who wasn't too far ahead.

i found it odd that the losers liked to ride bikes at age sixteen, when in fact they could just drive, but i guess that's why we are losers. which i didn't mind.

we made it to the quarry minutes later, and stan broke the silence by telling me to leave our clothes by our bikes.

i instantly regretted coming.

i slowly took my clothes off, until i was left with only my plaid boxers to wear. i awkwardly stood by my bike, hoping stan wouldn't judge me too hard when he turned around to look at me.

seconds later, he did.

it was like a had found my home in that one instinct, as he stared me up and down, eyes widening and face reddening, eyes full of something i didn't understand in that moment.

"you... look... beau- i mean..." he coughed. "good. you look good." he scratched the back of his neck, something he does when he's said something he didn't mean to.

i smiled at him, swinging my feet back and forth, heels to toes. i texted him quickly, and his eyes seemed to widen once again, his tongue tied to his mouth, his nose breathing out a abnormally large breath.

bill: is it weird if home to me isn't a place, but a person?

i was completely and utterly falling for a boy i had met a week ago.

☼ ☼ ☼