08: I'm Not A Millionaire

Cora slipped out of Zola's bed. She showered and dressed. Just before she left, she kissed Zola lightly on the cheek. "I'm leaving, don't get up." "Cora, thank you for staying." Zola slipped easily back into sleep.

----

"Wait ... wait ... wait. Back up." Edra and Jocelyn were both on the edge of their seats in the cafeteria as they listened to Cora recap her date and what looked like it might be a one-night-stand earlier in the week.

"So, dinner off menu. . Food and multiple kisses. . Austonian! . Sleepover with a millionaire fashion heiress. Who are you and what did you do with Cora?" Edra rolled with laughter. "You went from zero to 60 in seconds."

Cora grimaced. She in no way regretted her time with Zola, but she knew the teasing wouldn't end for years. "Edra, it wasn't just about food and sex."

"I know that Cora. But she hasn't called, right? So maybe it was just about food and sex for her. A one night stand?"

"Maybe Joce. It's been less than 48 hours. And I have no idea what 48 hours is in her world. And I'm not a hundred percent certain what happened. So, it may have been a one time thing."

Edra raised an eyebrow. "What do you mean? What is her world?"

"Honestly, I have no idea what her world really looks like. I mean, maybe she's thinking we connected in a finite way and maybe that's normal in her life. When I met her years ago, she was clubbing and making risky choices. She was in an unhealthy relationship. But she's different now."

"Wow."

"I know. And now, the money and privilege are definitely still there. Her condo is jaw dropping. She's incredibly attractive. She's got this bold, Italian, unapologetic aura about her. I felt a little out of place."

Jocelyn's bullshit radar started going off. "Wait, how did meet a socialite, clubbing, hottie?! No offense."

"None taken. Ummmm."

Edra's eyes widened. "You met her ?! She was a ?!"

"No! No, it's wasn't like that. I mean, yes. I met her here. It was her girlfriend. She overdosed on Ecstasy and Zola brought her in."

"?"

"But, it could have easily been her. They were peas in a pod when it came to behaviors. Although it was clear that Zola was reaching the end of her rope."

Jocelyn grimaced. "Okay so, skirting an ethics committee review."

Cora lightly rolled her eyes. "It's been two years, Joce. With no contact, we met randomly. I didn't pull her chart. But, I was definitely intrigued by her."

Edra smirked. "Let's call an orange an 'orange.' You were attracted to her right? Two years ago when she was here?"

Cora rested her chin in the palm of her hand as she leaned on the edge of the table with her elbow. "I was definitely interested in more than just her health, but I didn't extend myself in any unprofessional way. Maybe a little platonic flirting. I gave her my Wake sweatshirt. There was vomit."

Jocelyn deeply rolled her eyes. "Well, that sounds sexy, sweatshirts and vomit. So you didn't do anything wrong. Are you going to call her? Or are you good with the 'wham bam' thing?"

"Joce! Stop it! I don't have her number. She doesn't have mine, only the hospital line. We kind of got distracted by the moment."

"Okay, fine, but you want her to call or not?" Edra's eyes were sparkling with curiosity. "Is Cora Sims ready to jump back into the dating thing? Has she found someone she might be willing to let in?"

"Hey, I'm not afraid of letting people in."

"No, you're right. You're good at that part. You just have to let them ."

Cora considered it. "I am very happy to have spent the evening with Zola. I don't regret it. I'm hoping she'll call me."

Edra and Jocelyn smiled in victory at Cora's concession.

----

Zola sat at her desk in their design offices, staring at her phone. The industrial space was large. The company owned the entire four-story building but the working space occupied only the first two floors. The space was minimally decorated with a couple of offices and a large working floor.

", Zola!" Austin's lead designer and custom builder, Cristo, stepped into her doorway. He was in his mid-40s and worth his weight in gold. "Where are we with the pieces for Milan? We're only six weeks out."

"I think we're good, Cristo. We'll go to prepare in New York and then fly through the Europe circuit. I'll be spending some time with Dom and Dad in Rimini after the shows. We're just the support system in New York and Milan. Dom and Dad are running the show."

"Okay, (little one)."

"I think we should focus on all our outstanding contracts and make sure any other orders in the pipeline are appropriately scheduled. Why don't you double check that this week with Marge?"

Cristo nodded and examined Zola, concerned. "Zola, what's wrong?"

Zola slipped into Italian. "Oh nothing, Cristo. I want to call a woman."

"Ah! Young love, yes?"

"No, more like young confusion."

"Piccola?"

"Well, I really like her, she makes me feel, well it's hard to describe. But she's very different from anyone I've ever dated in both good and scary ways."

"What do you mean?" Cristo was confused.

"Well, first, she's like a girl from the shores of Rimini. She reminds me of summer. But she's just not entirely comfortable with me and my money. "

Cristo nodded in understanding. Money could often be a divisive force in relationships. "And?"

"And she's a chaplain at Seton Medical. She's Buddhist, I think."

"Oh, that is different. But are you still interested?"

"Yes. Very much. My head is swimming with thoughts of her."

"So you step into her world. . See what she's about, keep an open heart and open mind." Cristo winked and grinned as he withdrew. "Just change your shoes first."

Zola laughed and whispered softly to herself, "It's not her world I'm concerned about, Cristo. It's mine."

----

Cora moved through the hospital with ease. Her shift for the day included spending some time in intensive care and pediatrics. She loved her work but days like this sometimes were emotionally taxing. Cora was constantly surprised by the depths of both human resilience and human depravity.

Earlier in the morning, she sat with Lucia Reyes, a 32-year-old woman recovering from 2nd and 3rd degree burns. Months ago, her husband, upset with the cleanliness of the home, doused her with lighter fluid and set her on fire in front of her young children. Now infections made her full recovery highly unlikely. Cora sat with her for a little over an hour, listening to her reflect on life, the safety of her children, and forgiveness. Walking through the halls now, she felt as if she were a student of the woman, learning more about herself and the world.

She heard her name called over the P.A. system. "Cora Sims, line 4."

"This is Cora Sims, how can I help you?"

", Cora! I've missed you!"

Cora's entire body flooded with heat and joy. She was surprised by the intensity of the emotions. "Hello, Zola! I've been thinking of you too. I'm sorry I had to leave you so early. I'm glad you called."

Zola sighed at the memory of Cora in her bed. "Me too. What's your week looking like? I'd love to spend some more time with you. You know, practicing."

"Niiiice, Zola." Cora grinned into the phone.

"I thought you'd like that."

Cora considered, "I'm off tomorrow. How about walking in SoCo and having lunch at Home Slice?"

"That sounds perfect. Do you want to text me when you're ready?"

"Sure, I'd love to." Cora chuckled, "You'll have to share your phone number."

Zola grinned. "Gladly."

----

Cora stood near , one of the dozen different funky shops along South Congress. She was excited to see Zola moving toward her wearing jeans, an enviable pair of casual boots, and a light military-style jacket over a cowl-neck sweater. There was a look about her dress. Cora had no idea what brands she might be wearing, but she looked finished in a way that made her seem like she stepped out of a fashion magazine. Her hair was pulled back into a messy ponytail, laughter and amusement sparkling in her eyes. "! Cora! You look beautiful."

Cora was dressed in dark jeans, boots, fitted flannel, and a midweight jacket. "Wow, Zola. Wow. You look great, and I really like the look. This is the first time I've seen you without a dress and heels on. Other than naked."

"Chaplain! That's not true! You've seen me in my favorite sweatshirt." Zola laughed and moved close and kissed Cora lightly on the cheek.

Cora delighted in both the touch of her lips and the genuine tenor in her laugh. "Cora grinned, "Well, want to walk a bit?"

"Sounds good. It's been awhile since I've been down to SoCo but I love it."

Cora and Zola moved slowly in and out of antique and specialty shops, enjoying everything from the unusual to the exceptional in odds and ends and in art.

Cora was looking at an assortment of drawer pulls when she noticed Zola was preoccupied with a fitting dummy from the 1950s. "So, Zola, you never told me about your college experience."

"Oh, yes. That." Zola grimaced in good nature. "Well, I went to school in New York. I did well, but I had a lot of fun too. Let me see if I can paint you a picture. Parsons, New York City, clubbing, privilege."

"Yes, but I'm sure Parsons was challenging, right?"

"Well, actually, it was. I'm certain my family business was a big part of my acceptance into the design school, but the instructors were really demanding. It was an intense program."

"I imagine that no matter what gained you entrance into the program, it was your hard work and commitment that saw you through it. It's okay to be proud of that time."

Zola saw that Cora was looking at her, smiling softly, her eyes filled with kindness and acknowledgement. Her chest tightened and she tried to remember the last time someone looked at her in that way in such a genuine and easy manner.

Zola stepped over to Cora, leaning into her personal space. Cora stopped fidgeting with the pulls and she felt her heart rate pick up. Zola leaned in slowly and brushed her lips gently across Cora's soft flesh. She whispered quietly in the warmed space,"Cora, I'm getting hungry.

"For pizza? ?" Cora raised an eyebrow and grinned.

"Cora," Zola winced in pleasure and pain,"please don't tease me."

----

Cora and Zola sat in the small Austin pizza staple. Home Slice was weird and trendy but more importantly had excellent NY style pizza by the slice.

Cora watched Zola enjoying her Margherita, she ordered the White Spinach. "Zola, it looks like your practice is paying off. It's good, right?"

"Wonderful. It reminds me of both New York and Italy."

"Do you miss them? New York and Italy?"

"Well, yes and no. I travel to both places a few times a year. Fashion Weeks are coming up in Europe at the beginning of March so I'll be taking a trip that will take me through New York, Paris, Milan, and then to Rimini."

"Wow. That sounds incredible. Very cosmopolitan."

Zola grinned. "It's actually sensational. Family, shoes, fashion, and the beach." Cora nodded, smiling and enjoying Zola's happiness vicariously.

"So, the other night." Zola's brow furrowed slightly.

"Yes? " Cora half grinned and half smirked at the memory.

"You kind of surprised me."

"Mmmmm?"

"Well, it was incredible. So much exactly what I wanted and needed. You were, well, I haven't been able to stop thinking about you."

Cora flushed at the sincerity in Zola's voice. "I feel the same way. But?"

"You said something about Seculars and Buddhists? What does that mean? It was kind of unexpected. I mean, the . I thought Buddhists were ..."

Cora rolled with laughter, surprising Zola again. "I'm not a monk, Zola! Honestly, I find that dogmatic religions have much more rigid rules with regard to sex and love and how that's defined."

"In Buddhist thought, the direction is simple: Compassion and Kindness are the basis for all action. I'm truly happy to have shared myself with you. I gave myself and that time to you and I did so with compassion and kindness in my heart."

Zola nodded, following along. Her body tingled and she wanted to reach out and touch Cora. "So what is lust? Because when I look at you, I feel like, well ..." Zola breathed deeply and stared at Cora's lips and mouth.

"I understand, completely." Cora leaned slightly over the table. "But you're not feeling lust. Lust is sexual desire without thinking of your partner, only your own needs. No compassion and no kindness. Is that what you feel when you look at me?"

Zola's answer was slightly breathy and quiet enough to share just between the two women. ". I think of our shared experience and what I might do to get you to smile and sigh with delight. ."

Cora's body tingled at Zola's words. "Of course you do, you are . You think of the wellbeing and the happiness of others, right?"

"Well, I sell shoes to wealthy women. I'm no Mother Teresa."

Cora chuckled. "None of us are. I'm certainly not. I just do my best to practice compassion and kindness when the opportunities present themselves. Sometimes I fail." Cora smiled and eased back into her seat.

Zola watched Cora slip away from her and she felt a wave of disappointment. "So explain, 'Secular Buddhist.'"

"Oh, well. I don't believe in 'God' in the traditional sense, and I try my best to address life from the Engaged Buddhist perspective. It was the primary focus of my graduate studies at UT."

"Oh. No God? I'm Italian so, very Catholic." Zola cleared her throat, blushing slightly she winked at Cora. "Except for some exceptions."

Cora smiled, her body warming at Zola's reference. "Zola, I personally believe that compassion and kindness are the equivalent to 'God' and we should practice it as mindfully as possible." Zola nodded but still looked confused. "So, I'm secular because I don't believe in a singular omnipotent being directing our lives. I try to focus on deep, meaningful thought and contemplation and take action based on those reflections. I don't think there is a supernatural being." Cora watched Zola's eyes flood with consideration. "I try to implement Buddhist principles in my life. Compassion & Kindness, Mindfulness, and Immersion, and I take action based on those 'truths.' Engaged Buddhism is complementary to all religions. You can be Jewish or Christian or Atheist and practice Buddhism."

"So no God." Zola was still trying to wrap her head around that concept.

"Right. Does that make you uncomfortable?" Cora was a little disappointed at the thought.

"No. It's just really, different for me. But good, my brain is definitely getting a workout. I'm Catholic and that makes some people uncomfortable. Does that make you uncomfortable?"

"Not in the least. I'm not anti-religion or anti-God. I really think there is great beauty in all religions and philosophies. I appreciate all belief systems. I think they have common concepts but not a common language."

"May ask you a question, Zola?"

"Of course." Zola grinned in anticipation.

Cora searched Zola's face. She was trying to decide how to delicately ask the question that was tumbling around in her head: "Is Zola 'slumming' it with me?" "Well, you and I, we're cut from two very different pieces of cloth. I'm just wondering, how do you think our friendship might develop? For me, it doesn't have to go anywhere in particular as long as the path is genuine."

Zola's grin widened in fascination. "You sound like a mountain sage. You're not aging backwards or something are you?"

Cora laughed at herself. "No, I'm just way too cerebral for my own good sometimes! It's my 'comfort zone.' Sorry."

Zola smiled, her eyes sparkling at the sound of Cora's laugh. "So what you really want to know is why am I antique browsing with a Buddhist Chaplain instead of jet setting and clubbing? Are my intentions pure?"

"I'm sorry. It's just that, the phrase you used when I first met you, '.'"

Zola cringed. She didn't clearly remember much from that night other than Cora's kindness, but she was not at all surprised that she would have made that reference.

Cora continued, "I just don't want to be 'that' person. I'm not 'that' person."

"I understand Cora, really. I would never do that to you. I promise I have nothing but the best of intentions for our friendship. I am not 'slumming it' with you." Zola probed gently,"Does my money make you uncomfortable?" Zola could see in Cora's eyes that she was feeling uncomfortable in contemplating the notion. She was certain the answer was "yes."

"Honestly, it's a bit intimidating. But wealth, just like poverty, doesn't define us as good or bad. There is no shame in enjoying life and having material things. It's not about what you have. It's about what you give back. What you give of yourself." Cora's head tilted slightly in thought and a small smirk settled on her mouth. "So, your wealth doesn't shade how I see you. But, pragmatically, I'm not sure I can keep up."

Zola's eyes widened and her heartbeat skipped at the expression on Cora's face. "Cora, the last thing I want is for you to feel uncomfortable around me. And you in have to 'keep up' with me. I'm happy to have you in my life just as you are. I really want to get to know you."

"And you think that's going to be difficult?"

Zola smiled softly. "I hope not. I'm not sure. But even if it is, I think it's worth it to try. Do you think you could let me? Or would the money make it too difficult?"

Cora was confused. "I don't understand."

Zola lowered her voice,"You know I'm wealthy, right?" Cora nodded. "I'm not a millionaire." Cora's face was passive; she was not following. "Cora, not an "m," put a "b" at the front of that word." Cora's eyes widened. "If I asked you to visit New York with me for a day; if I wanted to give you something, a gift; if I invited you to a formal dinner; if asked you to let Matthew pick you up and drive you home. Would you say 'yes?' Or is it too much?"

"Oh, I see. That is a challenging consideration. Because I couldn't afford to do those things on my own." Cora took a moment and Zola could see her working through the possibilities.

"Cora, I don't wield my money like a weapon or wave it like a flag. My wealth," Zola grimaced,"it's just a part of who I am. I won't ever be able to entirely separate myself from that and I don't want it to be a reason I can't get to know you. And I don't want you to feel like you need to be anything else but who you are."

"I want to be able to say 'yes' to all those things. But, it feels like an extravagance, like an indulgence for me. Not a way of life."