I squint at the rays of sun shining through my windows, directly into my eyes. I was so tired by the time I got home last night that I forgot to close my curtains. Rolling over on the soft bed, I glance at my phone, 11am. I'm definitely going to miss being able to sleep in when I go back.

When I go back. I can't believe I told Cole I wanted to stay. Moreover, I can't believe I almost told him that it was partly because I wanted to stay here with him. I shake my head, trying to push the thoughts away. Things have to go back to the way they were - no matter how much it pains me to acknowledge that. I have no choice.

There's suddenly urgent knocking on my door. "Ms. Aria? Are you awake?" I hear Mr. Carter quickly call.

That's odd, I rarely hear Mr. Carter speak without using his usual calm and polite tone towards me. He actually sounds nervous. I get an uneasy feeling in my stomach when I realize something must be wrong.

I scramble to hop out of bed and open the door. His brows are knitted together in concern, leaving worried creases in his forehead. He's holding his tablet.

"What's wrong?" I immediately ask.

"Your mother just called and told me about this." He warily hands me his tablet. "Was...this on purpose?"

It's open on the main page of a website, one of the biggest music and entertainment news outlets in North America, Entertainment Monthly. They've been notoriously harassing me for years now. My eyes widen at the trending story.

My mouth drops open. Below the headline is the picture I took of Cole and myself by the hot tub last night. A preview of the article includes a quote from my interview with Cole. There are thousands of likes and shares.

My hands tremble and the room suddenly starts spinning. I quickly hand the tablet back to Mr. Carter before I drop it. My heart races and I find myself getting lightheaded as I take rapid short breaths, desperately trying to calm myself down. Nothing helps, I start to see black spots in my vision and everything grows blurry. Mr. Carter says something, but it feels as if my head is underwater and I hear nothing but muffled noises.

The last thing I remember is crashing into Mr. Carter's chest before everything goes black.

-----

The blurry living room ceiling slowly comes into focus. I'm laying under a soft blanket on the sofa, and Mr. Carter is holding a warm towel to my forehead. He breathes a sigh of relief when he notices me waking up. I stare at him blankly for a moment. "That...wasn't a bad dream, right?"

"Unfortunately not, Ms. Aria," he says and gently rests his hand on my shoulder. "I presume this means it was done without your consent?"

I nod and gingerly reach for my phone. My stomach is in knots and threatening to be sick. I hold my breath, hovering my thumb over the search bar. Do I even want to know?

Melody Aria

I scroll through the news tab, and it's more or less what I expected. Tons of articles about the same interview and photo. Each one has its own ridiculous interpretation.

The text blurs as my eyes begin to water. How could Cole do this to me? I trusted him and he sold me out. Hot tears stream down my cheeks, dotting the blanket with damp droplets. I have the desperate urge to play. Do what I do best, express my feelings through piano. I stand up and glance at the corner of the living room. My heart sinks when I see the empty spot. The horrible realization hits me, the piano is gone.

Overwhelming emotions start to rapidly build up inside me and there's no release. It feels like wanting to kick and scream so badly to get your feelings out while simultaneously being restrained down with tape over your mouth. I feel trapped and alone, so alone.

I collapse back onto the sofa and sixteen years worth of anger, resentment, and anxiety come pouring out like a tsunami. I bury my face into my pillow and begin to sob uncontrollably. The last seven years of my life have been spent crafting and perfecting my controlled and anonymous identity. All of that work, just sent spiraling down the toilet.

Mr. Carter pats my back, but his movements are a bit awkward. Understandably, he doesn't know how to help me. He's never seen me like this - no one has. Mom put me in these stupid etiquette classes when I was little. Taught me to be a perfect and well-behaved girl who wouldn't get over emotional at anything.

"What do I do now?" I manage to choke out.

"Your mom said she's working with your PR team to figure things out," Mr. Carter tries to reassure me and hands me a tissue. "How about you just rest for now?"

I nod and get up. Mr. Carter helps lead me back to my bedroom. "I want to go home," I murmur. "Book us the earliest flight back to LA."

"Right away Ms. Aria," Mr. Carter says softly.

Tears begin to spill again as soon as I've curled up in bed underneath my covers. I can't believe this is happening. I clutch my phone against my chest, dreading what else is out there. The internet is a vicious place. Yet, the curiosity slowly eats away at me until I give in and open Twitter.

"Oh god," I mumble. I'm trending? Seriously? I scroll through the tweets, feeling sicker and sicker as I go.

She came back just to show off that she finally has a boyfriend?? #MelodyAria

I can see why she wanted to hide her face #MelodyAria

So like, I don't understand her reasoning? #MelodyAria

Seven years and that's all she had to say? Sooo worth the wait #MelodyAria

Cole doesn't have a Twitter account but he does have Instagram. I quickly search him up, it looks like they've found him. He has thousands of followers now and his pictures are littered with comments about me. I can't help but notice all of the comments from girls too.

I bury my face into my pillow again to muffle a loud groan. I feel like an idiot. Falling so hard for him like a naïve little girl when this was all he wanted. Fame and money, just like everyone else. Why did I open up? I was just fine hiding away from people. Now I'm being forced to face the world, completely unprepared and all alone. I'm utterly terrified of what's going to happen. What am I supposed to do?

I told Cole all of those things, let myself be so vulnerable in front of him and this is what I get. How stupid I was to think that he actually liked me, but it was all an act. I feel what's left of my heart crumble into dust.

Who knew heartache would physically hurt this much? The best I can do to calm down is listen to music, it gives me some release at least. Brahms' Rhapsody No. 1 in b minor, Op. 79. It's been a long time since I've played it. For days after dad's funeral, I played it over and over again. I didn't know what else to do, I had no one to talk to. How was a seven year old supposed to process her emotions on her own? Mom went off and disappeared to God knows where, and I ended up staying with Alyssa's family for a month.

I fade in and out of consciousness for hours. Staying awake is exhausting, but my body refuses to let me stay asleep for long. Mr. Carter lets me know our flight is tomorrow night.

He returns a couple hours later to bring me my dinner, he made me my favourite comfort food - mac and cheese. Today's agonizing turmoil has left me feeling sick to my stomach all day, the last thing I want is food. He insists I need to eat, pointing out that my last meal was over twenty four hours ago. I manage to force down a couple bites, but my body refuses to cooperate and I find myself kneeling in front of the toilet less than a minute later.

I glance at the clock on my way back to my bed - it's nearly 9pm. I've somehow laid in bed for nearly ten hours now.

My tissue box becomes empty as I grab the last tissue and dab at my damp, swollen eyes and nose - raw and red from the constant irritation. I have Cole's number on my dial screen. I dialed it hours ago but I can't bring myself to actually call. There's so little, yet so much I want to say to him. I just don't know how to say it, whatever it is. Every time I picture him, my heart breaks all over again. His stupid smile, stupid hair, stupid...stupidly amazing blue eyes...

Snap out of it Mel.

Groaning, I pull my stiff and achy body out of bed again and drag my blanket along with me. We have more tissue boxes in a closet somewhere. The halls are quiet and dark, Mr. Carter must be asleep already. On my way to the storage closet, I pass the wine cabinet. Being inebriated and not having to focus on my feelings sounds very appealing right about now. I return to my room with a new tissue box, a bottle of wine, and a glass.

After a couple romcoms and several glasses of wine, I'm actually starting to feel ok. That is, until I see my phone light up - Cole's calling. My intoxicated brain decides it doesn't want to waste any time thinking about what to do. I fumble with my phone, my head is spinning and I can't seem to control my fingers properly. After some uncoordinated jabs at the screen, I manage to pick up.

"Hello?"

"Hey Mel!" Even the sound of his smooth voice makes everything feel soft and warm. I nearly forget about how upset I am, which I hate myself for. "You weren't responding to my texts. I just wanted to check up on you and make sure everything's ok."

"Huh?" I scroll through my phone, I have several missed texts from Cole. Telling me he had fun last night, and just acting as if everything is completely normal. The audacity of him. "Why are you acting like everything is so ok?" I slur.

"Uh...are you drunk Mel?"

"Answer me."

"I...I don't know what you're talking about." His voice sounds panicked and confused.

"Search up my name," I snap.

I hear the sounds of a keyboard clicking and Cole cursing under his breath.

"How could you do this to me?" I whimper.

"I didn't do this Mel," he insists.

"Who else could've done it? No one else had that picture!"

"Mel, could I come over?" His voice is soft and I have to force myself to ignore the comfort his tone tries to force into me.

"Don't you dare," I hiss. I know I won't be able to resist forgiving him if I see him in person. He doesn't deserve forgiveness. "I'm leaving tomorrow."

I hang up. He immediately calls again but I decline the call and toss my phone into my nightstand's drawer.

Twenty four more hours.

--------------------

Cole no 😭

Thanks for reading!