I NEEDED TO PULL AWAY.

I couldn't kiss Beau again. It would only make it harder.

But this—this was already so hard. Beau's hand on my face, cupping it, made it impossible to pull away. The way he looked at me made me believe that maybe the way of the world could be disrupted. That ebb and flow of beauty and pain, maybe it didn't have to be like that.

Maybe we could be.

And maybe it would be better than anything.

With that thought in my head—and nothing else—I fell into Beau and let everything else go.

He caught me with a kiss, a desperate, aching kiss that had my hands tangling into his hair and his fingers digging into the back of my neck.

And against my lips, I felt him smile.

—

I stepped out of the shower knowing what I needed to do.

My heart ached as if Beau had pinched it. Him not wanting to confide in me for a second time about his brother...that hurt.

But I wasn't surprised, even though the hypocrisy burned a hole in my stomach. Beau had curated his personality to be unbothered and carefree. He wasn't used to anyone seeing a side of him that wasn't happy.

I'd seen so many sides of Beau, though. Because of how deeply he felt for those around him, I'd seen his anger. I'd seen his passion. I'd seen his sincerity. I'd seen the beauty in his unhappiness. I wondered if he even realized how much I'd seen.

Beau said he would let me in, and I could only hope that he would. I was the queen of wanting to trap and figure all my problems out for myself before putting them onto someone else, so I understood why he wasn't ready to talk. And he said he would talk. There wasn't an evasiveness to his mood, nor secrets. Only a request for time. I could do time—as long as it didn't drag.

But what I couldn't do was tolerate his helplessness—that look on his face like everything was spinning out of control, and there wasn't anything he could do about it. It must kill to feel that way; Beau needed to feel purposeful more than he needed to breathe. He needed to be needed.

So even though I didn't know what happened, I still knew what to do.

I knew how to need him.

With only a towel on, I walked back into the bedroom.

It was one of the smaller suites in the house, but it was still incredibly nice. Luxury bed linens covered the California King, and a sleek electric fireplace served as a focal point. I flicked it on as I passed to bring extra warmth into the room.

Beau still sat in the armchair, head tipped back. He'd planted his feet on the ground, legs spread with arms resting on either side of the chair. I paused, admiring him. His beach attire was simple: a pair of shorts and an unbuttoned flannel. His chest was bare beneath it, and I wanted to rake my fingers over all his lightly defined muscles.

When I took another step forward, his head snapped up. Good. He wasn't sleeping—I'd worried there for a moment. His eyes swept over me, and I smiled, keeping my voice silky and soft as I strode over to him.

"Hi, baby."

Beau's eyes flared like they did whenever I called him baby. I never imagined being like this. It wasn't my personality to be so outwardly affectionate, but I couldn't help returning the words he said to me. And that might have been why Beau liked it so much; he knew there was no way in hell I'd ever call anyone else baby. It was only for him.

"Come here," he said gruffly.

I flicked my towel off as I closed the space between us and watched his throat tighten with a groan.

"Sometimes I think there's no way you're real," he muttered. "You're a fucking angel."

"You don't think angels are real?"

His lips curled into a smile for the first time since I found him in the driveway. "Let me touch you so I can find out."

I smiled as I sat on his lap, and his hands brushed my legs like he was checking that I was really there. That I existed. My voice fell to a whisper.

"Beau, I need you."

Like I knew they would, those words lit up Beau's entire world. He leaned forward and grabbed my hips, tugging me closer. But not too close that he couldn't still trail his gaze over every inch of my exposed skin.

"What do you need?" he said, his voice husky.

What I needed was for him to feel better. Beau wasn't the only one who cared so deeply for others that it was painful to watch them hurt.

Beau started to trail his fingers over all the places his eyes had. His previous uncertainty slowly morphed into purpose, and he wrapped his hand around the nape of my neck, eyes burning into mine. My pulse ticked up a notch, reacting to Beau and Beau alone.

"Fuck, Collins. Tell me what I can give you."

I placed a hand on his bare chest, which heaved beneath my touch, and slowly let it fall. "I need you to make me come."

The heat in his eyes amplified to a new degree. "Yeah?"

I nodded, and knowing how much he loved it when I begged, added, "Please, Beau."

Beau grabbed my wrist to remove my hand from his chest. He twisted my arm around my back, forcing me to arch forward so he could capture my nipple in his mouth, groaning around it.

"I need to feel you," I gasped, even though I could more than feel how his tongue was tracing the dark edges of my areola. "I need you everywhere."

Beau firmly cupped between my legs with his free hand, causing me to gasp as he growled against my skin. "God, Collins. Those words...please keep talking."

"Give me everything you have to give, Beau," I whispered, feeling more desperate by the minute as his hand and mouth roamed over me, teasing every spot except for the ones I wanted the most. He licked at the water droplets on my collarbone, and I thought I might die if he didn't take that tongue and put it to better use. "Please, I need it."

"No," Beau muttered before finally plunging two fingers inside me, making me arch back even further with a silent scream. "You need me."

"Yes," I cried. "Yes, I need you."

I needed him. God, I needed him. Not just here in this moment, but in all the moments. Every day, I needed Beau. I couldn't remember the last time I felt this sort of need for another person, and I wasn't sure I ever would. Beau was it.

"How do you want to come?" Beau asked while thrusting his fingers in and out of my body slowly. I began rocking my hips against his hand, trying to keep myself from fully riding them so that Beau could do the work. It was important that he did the work. But fuck, it felt so good. So good that I forgot to reply to Beau, who looked sharply up at me. "Don't go quiet on me now, sweetheart."

"I—I need all of you, Beau," I said before my eyes rolled back again when Beau sucked my nipple back into his mouth. "That's how I want to come."

"You need to be fucked?" he clarified.

I nodded—though weakly. Not because I didn't want it, didn't need it. I was throbbing with how hard I needed it.

"Then say it, Collins," he groaned, sliding his fingers out of me again. It made me ache with emptiness.

He watched me expectantly until I was able to find my voice.

"I need to be fucked."

Beau swore beneath his breath and seized me by the hips. He lifted me off his lap so he could push his shorts off and to the ground. And oh, god, he was ready for me.

He must have registered my widened eyes because he chuckled softly. "What's wrong, baby? You forget again?"

Did I forget how big he was? Yes, yes, I did. I didn't know how I kept forgetting, but it always shocked my system when I saw all of him.

I traced a finger up his length with a nervous chuckle. "I'm suddenly worrying that you won't fit all over again."

"I'll fit." Beau spun me around before yanking me back down into his lap. He held on tight, letting me feel the hardness of his erection against my back.

I swallowed a gasp as I found myself facing a floor length mirror on the opposite wall. Oh, God. It was funny how much more comfortable I was being naked in front of Beau versus being naked to my own eye. But when I raised my hands to cover myself, Beau made an annoyed grunt and swatted them away. And so I sank into the discomfort of seeing myself like this—spread out on Beau's lap with nothing to hide behind.

"You feel me?" he muttered, shifting to make it obvious what he was talking about—his massive dick.

"I feel it."

Pretty hard not to feel it, Beau baby.

"A good part of that is because of how fucking amazing you look, so don't go covering yourself up." The tone of his voice plummeted. "In fact, I need you to spread your legs wider for me."

I couldn't seem to find the words to respond to that. But that was okay; Beau was in his element now. He tapped my knees, getting me to open up. And then his hands wrapped around my front, cupping my breasts as he muttered how gorgeous I was with soft words in my ear. I leaned into his soothing touch, rocking back into him because I wanted more, and Beau groaned.

"I don't know if you realize how goddamn hard it is to control myself when you do that. You've been doing it all night, baby girl." Beau pulled at my earlobe with his teeth. There was a throatiness to his words. "And now I'm going to do what I've wanted to since you sat down in my lap outside."

I bit down on my lip in eagerness, my pulse racing as Beau lifted me off his lap so he could reposition his erection, nudging into my wet pussy. He urged me to fall back against him, but it felt different. He'd never fucked me like this before, with him sitting behind me, and I gasped at how full and stretched I felt from him sliding in at this angle.

"If it's tight, then that's what you get for teasing me," Beau muttered as if he could hear my thoughts. His harsh breath fanned my ear. With a little slap, he hit my clit, making me suck in from Beau's favorite combination of pain and pleasure. But then he massaged it in slow, aching strokes. I relaxed, allowing Beau to sink deeper inside me. "But it'll fit, sweetheart. I want you to watch it fit."

I lowered my gaze in the mirror to see how his cock slid gradually inside me. He was thick, but I stretched around him, and my lips parted, mouth running dry. I trembled, craving more. Even though more seemed like it would undo me.

"See?" Beau groaned when I was filled. Completely. "Your pussy's fucking made for me, Collins."

"So good." I watched my chest rise in fall in time with my heartbeat. With his heartbeat, which I could feel pulsing within me. "It feels so good."

"Yeah?" I saw him lift a brow in the mirror, double-checking I was okay. I nodded, a little reassurance before he continued. "You ready for it to get better?"

"I'm ready."

I was so ready for Beau and everything that he was.

With one of his arms around my waist to steady me and the other snaked around my hips so he could stroke my clit, Beau began thrusting. And oh hell, I nearly lost it at the first upward pump of his hips.

And then they kept coming, and I felt torn between resting my head against Beau's shoulder and letting him take me over completely...or watching. Because watching was so incredibly erotic. Skin-tingling and shiver-inducing.

I chose to watch. I watched Beau's fingers dive between my legs repeatedly as he thrust. It was almost too much, and I nearly looked away when he caught my eyes with his in the mirror. There was a wicked, satisfied gleam there but also a deep intensity that once again reminded me how much more to Beau there was.

He breathed my name, and even though I was already bursting at the seams with pleasure, that tiny caress of his lips against my skin caused me to cry out.

His name flew from my lips, and Beau smiled into my shoulder, kissing it. "There she is," he murmured.

I moaned loudly and unapologetically. "I'm right here, Beau. I've been right here."

"I know, sweetheart." He rewarded me with an extra hard drive of his hips. "I just wanted to hear that you were with me."

"I'm always with you," I cried and suddenly hated that I couldn't kiss him in this position. His lips. I needed his lips. I needed to feel them, to soak in Beau's moans and grunts, to revel in their deep vibrations.

"Always?"

Beau was losing it; his thrusts were sloppy and desperate, and I tried to match his pace with the same furiousness. But it was his turn to beg. His eyes begged me for everything.

"Always."

It was a breathy declaration and punctuated by a cry as I spasmed around him, trembling beneath the weight of everything that we were.

Everything we had become.

Beau swore, the word loud and gruff as he followed me off that cliff's edge. His fingers dug into my hip, holding onto me with a fierceness that made me believe he was scared to let go.

"Is that what you needed?" he finally asked through gasping breaths. I let my weight fall back into him, wholly and utterly melting. His eyes flicked down, watching with obvious satisfaction as cum dripped out of me. Jesus.

"Yes," I moaned, peeking up at him. "And you?"

His gaze softened. "Yeah, baby. I needed that, too."

And then, finally, his lips found mine. He kissed me until we were both breathless again, only this time we made it to the bed.

Beau Martin was happy again. He might not always stay that way—and that was okay. But right now, I could feel his smile in the way that he kissed. And that was how I knew everything would be okay.

✨

when they *understand* each other

sooo do you think Collins achieved her goal there?

should we hop over and see what nessa & grayson

are up to? 👀

xoxo amelie