cropped tee, and worn-down Converse, ran into a group of seagulls on the pier, making them take off in flight around her in a tornado of wings. A massive smile lit up her face, and when she looked back at me, she threw her head back and laughed.

I felt it deep in my bones. A rattling of happiness.

This was the same pier that we stopped at a year and a half ago. The same pier. Same city. Same ocean beneath the wooden planks. Same bag of cheeseburgers in my hand from the same little restaurant.

Different Madie, though.

Different me.

These days, we were growing shockingly close to being well-adjusted college students. We studied in the library and pulled too many all-nighters. I kicked my butt into gear and passed all my midterms, sometimes even letting Madie help me. On the weekends, we worked at The Grounds and made-out in the broom closet whenever we got the chance. And at night, we completely ignored calls from the people in prison who once haunted us. We learned to let go.

And hold on to the important things.

This moment was important.

Terrified. I'd been nothing short of terrified the last time we drove this route. I had this girl in my passenger seat who I was wild about, but the idea of making her mine wasn't even fully-formed yet. All I wanted was not to let her down as a friend. Protect her. Tuck her into the Pacific coastline, hide her between hills of sand, and never let anyone hurt her again.

God, I loved her. I might have even loved her that day we were here on the pier. I couldn't say when I started to love Madie. I knew when I realized it, but that love had been in me before that.

"Why are you looking at me like that?" she asked, walking over to me in a crooked line, dizzy from twirling amongst the seagulls.

"I'm trying to figure out when exactly I fell in love with you." A breeze ruffled my hair, and I raked a hand through it. "It might have been on this pier."

"Really?" She looked wildly around, eyes skating across Pismo Beach. "So soon?"

"I don't know." I shook my head. "But I remember daring to put my arm around you while we sat on that bench—" I pointed to the wooden one, the only one not completely covered in bird shit. "And as soon as you melted into me, I realized I never wanted to move again. I just wanted to sit there forever, listening to the waves crash against the pier."

Madie settled next to me, leaning against the railing. I immediately felt her warmth, the brush of her arm against mine. Subtle touches that lit me up inside. I reached into the paper bag and pulled out a cheeseburger for her.

"That was the first time I kissed you, too," I added.

"Was not," Madie protested with a smile as she took the sandwich. "You took ages to kiss me."

"I remember kissing the top of your head. Your hair against my lips. I shouldn't have done it, though. I told myself after that that I needed to give you space. That I was only there to be your friend." I took a deep breath and took off my sunglasses so we could see each other clearly. "But then you asked me to sleep in the same bed as you, and I couldn't say no. And the next day, you asked me to swim with you, and I couldn't say no. And then you asked me to touch you, and...."

I blew a ragged stream of air between my lips. My one hand gripped the railing, nails digging into wood as I remembered touching her for the first time.

"And you couldn't say no," Madie finished for me, looking up with those brilliant ocean eyes. She bit down on her lip, letting it slide between her teeth.

"No, I couldn't," I said, my throat parched.

"And then I asked you to take me on a date—"

"It wasn't a date."

"It was a date, and we both knew it."

I shrugged. "I pretended it was."

"Me, too," Madie whispered.

It was quiet then, outside of the cries of seagulls, the crash of the ocean, and the crinkling of wrappers as we opened our cheeseburgers.

I tried not to think about that night, the date that wasn't a date. Dancing with her had been the end of my restraint. It was just an excuse I'd used to be close while telling myself that I hadn't crossed a line. But the line was so blurred by that point. There was no line. There had never been a line between Madie and me, even though I had tried to tell myself otherwise.

There definitely wasn't a line when I'd fingered her in the middle of a packed club.

Yeah, I was a goner for Madie Lenertz from the beginning.

"I'm a little nervous," Madie said softly after balling up her wrapper and tossing it back into the paper bag. "To go back."

I turned sharply to look at her. Nothing about her demeanor this upcoming week had clued me in to that, and yet, I should have known.

"Some of the happiest moments of my life were at that beach house," she added. "But also..."

"But also some of the hardest. Right?"

Madie paused before nodding. "I healed there."

"Healing is hard, baby."

"But I did it." Her pride shone through her eyes, making a bubble of emotion swell in my chest.

"Yes. You did." Leaning over, I kissed the top of her head just like I did last time we were on this pier. I felt Madie's deep inhale as she dredged up that strength of hers. "We can turn around if you want, though. No one would blame you if you didn't want to go."

Madie didn't answer immediately, but I already knew her answer.

"No, I want to go."

Of course she did. Any boundary that had ever been put in front of Madie in the time that I'd known her, she'd pushed against it. Fought back.

Sometimes she didn't need to fight, though.

"Madeline, it's okay," I breathed, letting the wind carry the words. "To do what hurts less for once."

"I know it is." She gazed up at me, her soul in her eyes like usual. "But I want to be on the beach with you."

"There are beaches everywhere."

"You know what I mean, Bren."

Her smile told me she was at peace with this decision, so I didn't push it further. If Madie wanted to go to the beach, our beach, then I would take her there.

I would take her anywhere.

That hadn't changed.

****

"Oh my god."

Madie stepped into the house ahead of me, and her gasps echoed through the spacious living room, off the white walls and black stone fireplace and sparkling windows.

It wasn't exactly how I remembered it, though. The air wasn't thick with worries; the world's weight wasn't pressing down on my shoulders like the last time I parked my car in this driveway. It felt like how being at the ocean was supposed to feel. Light and freeing.

Madie padded across the living room, her barefoot steps making a slight slapping sound against tiled floors. She stopped in front of the massive windows that faced the beach, and I saw her shoulders drop with a relief I knew well.

It was sometimes overwhelming how much I understood her. To have that much of another person inside you. But it was also the only reason that I'd survived this long. Because she carried me just as much. I owed this girl the goddamn world, and I'd do anything to give it to her.

"God, I love you," I muttered, a hushed proclamation I couldn't keep in.

Madie turned with a knowing smile. She knew I loved her, but that didn't mean she didn't like hearing it.

"I love you, too, Bren," she whispered, and even though the words were soft and small, they reached every corner of this mansion and every corner of my heart. "I'm so glad I got to fall in love with you here."

Likewise, baby.

With a grin back at her, I threw my hands into my pockets and strode toward her. Madie turned to face the ocean again.

"It looks untouched," she mused. "Unchanged."

Standing beside her, I watched as her eyes scanned the patio, lingering slightly on the outdoor shower. Heat raised to the surface of my skin as my pulse ticked up a notch. Fuck, maybe we needed to cool off. Maybe a shower was exactly—

"Do you think that Beau's parents even come here?"

I cleared my throat, resisting the urge to adjust myself. Madie didn't need to know that it had taken less than a minute for me to get worked up from sheer memories alone.

"I'm guessing not very often."

A slight humming of agreement left Madie's mouth, and I realized she was staring at the shower again.

Fuck.

Inching behind her, I brushed her hair over her shoulder and began to pepper kisses along her exposed neck. I couldn't resist touching her; I couldn't resist reminding her what my lips on her skin could feel like—even if I did remind her on an extremely regular basis.

Madie moaned my name as she tilted her head to the side, giving me more access.

"How do you feel?" I muttered.

"Good." She hummed with contentment. "I feel good."

Happy with that answer, I continued to kiss along her collarbone.

"Wait," she muttered, and I drew back, confused. But then she said, "Is that Beau on the beach?"

Madie inched closer to the window, but I just stepped after her and reapplied my lips to her skin. I knew it wasn't Beau.

"Beau texted me like thirty minutes ago that they were still an hour out."

"Huh," Madie said, sounding puzzled even as she leaned back into me, forgetting whoever was out there. "It really looked like Beau."

"It's not Beau," I repeated, slipping my hand beneath her shirt and smoothing it up her stomach.

We had a half-hour before everyone else arrived, and I planned to use every single minute of it.

"If you say so," Madie hummed.

Her bra clasped in the front, and with a snap of my fingers, I undid it. "I say so."

Madie remained silent after that. She arched into the palm of my hand as I cupped her breast. Her eyes fluttered shut as she threw her head back to rest on my shoulders. The expression on her face reflected how I felt: warm and contented but humming inside. Needing more. More than just words. More than just a single touch.

When I brushed a finger over her nipple, Madie groaned and spun abruptly in my arms. Her arms circled my neck, fingers sliding into my hair as she brought my head closer to hers.

"Careful now, Madeline," I whispered across her lips. "If you kiss me, you know what will happen."

Madie inched even closer. Her breath fanned across my lips, and I had to swallow a throaty moan. She'd perfected the art of teasing me over the last year, and it worked every fucking time. When she got close to me like this, I was putty in her hands. Hell, all she needed to do was look at me, and I was done for most days.

"Was that a threat, Bren Hadaway?" Madie breathed, looking up at me beneath sooty eyelashes.

I darted my tongue out, catching the corner of her parted lips. My voice was gravelly, my need for her barely contained. "Yes, that's a threat."

"If I kiss you, what will happen?" she asked before tugging my bottom lip between her teeth, biting down. Fuck, someone wanted to play dirty.

With two quick steps forward, I backed Madie into the window, and when she had nowhere else to go, I rocked my hips against hers—a hint about what would happen if she kissed me. But then I decided a hint wasn't good enough, and I leaned down to grunt in her ear.

"Kiss me, and I'm gonna have to fuck you, baby." Madie gasped my name, her bright eyes meeting mine when I pulled back. "I'm gonna have to fuck you because a kiss won't be enough. It's never enough."

I watched Madie's heavy breaths pass through her parted lips as she looked up at me. Three, four, five beats existed before I finally brushed a hair out of her face and asked again. Any longer, and I'd likely explode.

"Do you still want to kiss me?"

Madie didn't breathe another word before pulling me down into a bruising kiss, our lips crashing and parting, tongues sweeping in to toy with each other.

"Yes," she finally answered as she pulled back. "Yes, Bren. Always."

"Always," I growled and scooped her up in my arms.

I needed her. In that bed. I needed to see her there. I needed to make her fall apart there. I needed to watch that strawberry blonde hair spread across the pillows as she screamed my fucking name just like she had so many times before. All the first times. And the last times, when she finally cried out that she loved me. I needed that.

Madie kissed me at least once for every step we took on the stairs, but as soon as I set her down on the bed, she jumped up again.

No, Madeline. The bed. I need you on the goddamn bed.

I frowned, watching as she flew to the patio doors and flung them open. The wind burst through into the airy bedroom, and sounds of the ocean reached my heart, the push and pull of the waves. Madie's hair blew back, tangling around her shoulders. And then she peeked back at me with a wicked grin that made my dick absolutely twitch in my pants.

"That's better," she breathed, twirling around to face me as she stripped her shirt over her head in one movement. Her bra, which had been dangling open on her chest, fell to the ground with her shirt. "I thought it was a little stuffy in here. Wouldn't you agree?"

I didn't have words to agree. Madie stood before me with the backdrop of the beach, and there wasn't a single thing in the world more beautiful. Her eyes matched the water. Her skin, the sand. Except her skin was soft and supple, and I wanted to run my hands all over—

"Sit, Bren."

A single finger pushed me back onto the bed, and I crumbled from the force of it. Shit, baby.

That grin of hers widened as she wiggled out of her shorts. And then her underwear, using that same single finger to flick them to the floor. The little show made my skin burn while my throat dried up like the desert. My fingers grabbed the sheets beneath me in desperation. Madie was the sun, and she'd trapped me in her orbit forever.

"Madeline."

"Hm?" Madie was too busy undressing me to respond. And because I wanted my clothes off just as much as she did, I let her continue. But as soon as she finished, I hooked my hands beneath her knees, yanking her on top of me until she straddled my hips.

She shrieked and then giggled, and I caught that laugh with my mouth and quickly turned it into a moan. A long, drawn-out moan that told me that if I reached between her legs—

Oh, fuck.

"Someone's ready," I said, a husky murmur against her lips.

"For you?" she gasped as I circled her wet clit with my thumb. "Always, Bren."

"I want you to ride me." I thrust two fingers inside her and bit down hard on my lip when she immediately clenched around me. "Can you do that for me, baby?"

"Yes," Madie said breathily, and then to prove it to me, she rocked down on my fingers just like she would on my cock. Her slickness dripped down over my hand, and God, I was so close to losing it.

"That's it," I murmured. "That's exactly it. I want to feel you around me just like that."

"But I thought you were going to fuck me." Madie pretended to pout for a few short seconds before the corner of her lips slipped into a naughty smile. "So much for your threat, Bren Hadaway."

"Oh, I will," I said before dragging my mouth across hers for a quick kiss. My throat tightened with emotions, with memories, and my voice grew rough. "But I want to see you first. I need to see you like this, Madie."

Her eyes grew wide, and she seemed to catch the wave that my brain was riding. She didn't say anything, though. After all, some feelings were strong enough that they didn't need words.

Madie slowly wrapped her fingers around my erection, her eyes tracing my face as I fell back and arched off the bed from the intense, pulsing pleasure that came from being touched by her. I mouthed her name, needing her to know that I was dying here, and she gave in, using her grasp to guide me between her legs. Her teasing smirk had vanished, and in its place was an expression just as desperate as I felt.

"Bren," she whispered as she sank, enveloping me in glorious, wet heat. My breath hitched as I let her adjust, and then when I thought I might lose all control, Madie bucked her hips, burying me to the hilt.

"Like that?" she gasped, her usually bright eyes hazy with desire.

"Like fucking that, baby," I groaned, grabbing her hips to guide her.

She didn't need that guidance, though. Madie rode me, head thrown back, hair tangling in the breeze, rhythm as sturdy as the sound of the waves outside. Her gaze slowly lowered, spiking an urgency in my blood when it swept over me appreciatively. Moaning, I rocked my hips up to meet hers, and hot satisfaction filled me in response. So good—it felt so good. And Madie seemed to agree, her lips parting, forming a little oh.

"God, Madie." Once she'd recovered from that deep stroke, I coasted one hand up to squeeze her breast while the other found her ass, clasping it in my palm as I urged her movements. "Look at you."

"You're looking pretty great yourself," she said between panting breaths, and I noticed little dots of sweat along her hairline. Glistening and gorgeous. I wanted to pull her closer so she could feel just how fucking hot she'd made me, too, just how much of a mess I was from—

"Hello!"

Voices flooded up the stairs from the main level of the beach house, and Madie swore beneath her breath, stilling.

"Fucking hell, that couldn't have been a half-hour," I groaned, peeking around Madie to look at the closed bedroom door, wondering if I'd locked it. Shit, I didn't care. They had to know better by now, didn't they? "Don't stop, baby."

"Don't stop?" Madie whispered frantically. She listened, though, picking her pace up again and swallowing her accompanying moan when I hit that perfect spot inside her.

"I don't want you to stop," I repeated, wrapping my fingers around her throat and yanking her down into a rough kiss, not breaking apart until we were both breathless. "Not until I feel you come, Madeline."

Madie cried into my mouth, and I knew it was the new position—the rubbing of her clit and how deep I could thrust into her at this angle. My fingers squeezed, holding her by the throat while she gasped and grabbed at my tangle of hair.

"Bren." Madie's breath hit my lips as I drove into her over and over. "Oh, Bren. I—I—"

My name was just a quiet, barely-there plea, but her eyes told me it was a scream. And that was what I'd needed to see, needed to feel. Those flecks of firelight seeped beneath my skin and made me feel like I was burning alive. I'd burn myself over and over again just to feel her fire.

'Good girl," I urged softly. "Take it, baby. You're almost there."

Goddamnit, if she didn't come soon, I would have to issue an apology. With how hard and relentless I was driving into her, it wouldn't be long before I exploded.