I wished Beau would stop saying my name like that. Like he was concerned and sweet and caring. It didn't make any of this easier.

"What?"

My number one tactic in life was to pretend everything was fine when in reality it was a disaster, so I stared myself in the mirror and tried to get my face in order. The one I needed to put on.

There was a pause on Beau's end. And then finally...

"Can you open the door?"

I shook my head, even though he couldn't see me. No, no I could not open the door. I wasn't put together yet. Probably wouldn't be for a long time.

"Collins," Beau groaned after a few quiet moments.

Goddamnit. He wasn't going to leave, was he?

—

"Here it is."

I handed Beau my neatly wrapped present, and he sat with it on my bed. His giddiness had returned, that Christmas morning gleam in his eye that made me cross my fingers in hopes that he liked what I'd made.

"You really got me a gift," he said with a hushed sort of wonder.

"Did you think I was lying?" I laughed.

"Well, no," he said with a shrug. "But...why?"

Why? He dared to ask me that after he presented me with a brand-spanking-new car this morning?

"What do you mean why?" Walking across the room, I dropped onto the bed beside him—but not before leaving a kiss on his cheek. "It's our one-month anniversary."

"But—" Beau dropped his gaze to the package again, eying it.

"You thought you were the only one counting, didn't you?"

He winced. "Kinda, yeah."

I sighed. "Beau, every day being your girlfriend makes me happier than the last. I'm never going to forget the day you kissed me in front of everyone and made me yours."

He stared at me like he was memorizing my face. "Yeah?"

"Yeah." I swallowed. "Now open your present. It's not much—"

"Oh, shush." With that, Beau began ripping open the wrapping paper with the excitement of a little kid on his birthday. "Mugs!"

I couldn't help but laugh. No one should be that enthusiastic about mugs, but Beau was twirling each one around to catch every angle of the black ceramic cups.

"Yeah, well, you never did get to finish your mug for your bomb ass hot cocoa, so I thought I'd make it for you. And then one mug turned into a set of mugs."

"You made these?" Beau asked, turning them over in his hands.

"Sure did." A slight hum of pride spiraled through me. They weren't much, but I made them.

Beau carefully packed the mugs into the box I'd wrapped them in. When he looked up at me, his expression was everything soft and tender. "Collins, baby. I can't wait to make my best batch of hot cocoa ever now."

"So you like it?"

"The mugs?"

"Or the girlfriend." I sucked in nervously. "Either one."

Beau's grin widened until it was uncontrollable. "I love both."

He said it with such confidence, and then he stared straight into my eyes, like a dare not to run away. Not to take back what I'd said earlier. Not to brush it off like it was a little thing. Because it wasn't a little thing, and it wasn't just something I said because of the gift. It wasn't just something he said because of the gift. It was real.

I had let it slip, and now Beau was testing the waters.

The waters are warm, Beau. Jump on in.

He looked ready to jump but...but also content not to. For now. So I did the only thing I could think to do, the only thing he had been able to do earlier—I kissed him.

Within the first few seconds of the kiss, Beau flipped me onto my back, covering my entire body with his. And when our lips eventually broke with breathless pants, he sat, straddling me with a look of satisfaction.

He hadn't wasted a single second before gaining the upper hand this time, had he? And I'd been so swept away in the moment; I didn't even realize. But now, it was more than clear.

Fuck, it was going to be hard to keep saying no. It was obvious that Beau was ready to go again, and I wanted nothing more than to feel all of him.

Slipping two fingers into each of the pockets on my sweatpants, Beau tugged, and without thinking, I lifted my hips to let him slide my pants off. His eyes flared as he tossed the pants to the floor and refocused on what I had on underneath.

"Those fucking shorts," he moaned appreciatively. His hands wandered beneath my sweatshirt, sneaking it off and over my head. All I had on beneath it was a flimsy, oversized shirt I wore to bed, and it failed at hiding my hardened nipples, at how aroused I was.

Beau grinned wolfishly. "If I recall correctly, we had been talking about taking rides...." I shook my head in the weakest denial ever, and Beau's smile faltered. "Gonna keep saying no, huh?"

I nodded.

Still on his knees, Beau sat back with a frustrated pout. He would never touch me if I told him not to, but at the same time, he could tell how much I wanted him. How much I wanted his hands all over me. And that clearly drove him up a goddamn wall.

"Hello!"

A holler from the front of the apartment made Beau's pout turn sour.

"Hey, Nessa!" he yelled, his cheery voice contrasting his surly expression.

"We brought booze," another voice shouted, one that was masculine and surprisingly not Grayson.

Frowning, Beau grabbed his phone off the bed to check it. "It's barely noon," he hollered back.

This time when Bren spoke, it was just outside my bedroom door and accompanied by a low chuckle. "Since when did that ever stop you?"

Beau grunted beneath his breath, clearly irritated at how right he was. And it only worsened when Bren kept talking.

"Hey, Collins," he added. I could hear the smile in his voice. "Is Beau holding you captive in there?"

"Actually...yeah, a little bit," I said, looking at how Beau continued to straddle me.

"Fuck off, Hadaway." Beau glared at the door. "Everything I did for you and Madeline, and this is how you repay me?"

Bren laughed, his footsteps fading in with the muttering beneath his breath. Beau squinted at the door, trying to decipher what he'd said before giving up and turning to me.

"What he'd say?"

"Pretty sure he didn't like that you called Madie by her full name."

Beau rolled his eyes. "God, he's dramatic."

All I could do was raise a brow in response. Sure. Bren was the dramatic one.

Beau narrowed his gaze at my reaction. "Don't look at me like that, sweetheart."

"Let's go out there and see who really is the dramatic one," I said teasingly, giving Beau a little push that had him rolling over on the bed while I slipped off it. Walking to my closet, I swayed my hips and listened to Beau groaning in the background.

"At least you're putting on some real clothes," he muttered.

That only convinced me to grab a short skirt and a cropped tee, taking a play out of Nessa's book. Beau swore beneath his breath as he noticed what I was putting on.

"You're really somethin' today."

Fully dressed, I whirled to face him. "I thought I was somethin' every day."

Beau looked about ready to kiss me and punch a hole in the wall at the same time. He sprung up from the bed, crossing the room with determination and a laugh. Circling my waist with his arm, he tugged me into him, and I damn near melted.

"I utterly adore you, Collins," he said, kissing my nose. "You are not just somethin'. You're everything. Now please try not to wreck my sanity today."

I smirked. For some reason, it felt like a perfect day to have a little fun for once. Beau's playfulness had come alive within me, and I didn't want to fight it. Not today.

"I make no promises."

****

"So nice of you both to join us," Nessa teased as Beau and I strode into the kitchen. When all Beau did was grunt in reply, Nessa dragged me closer to whisper in my ear. "Love the skirt. "

Leaning back with a smile, I winked at my roommate. "Learned from the best."

Beau pulled up short next to us with a deep scowl etched into his features. "What in the roommate collusion is going on here?" He wagged a finger between us.

"It has nothing to do with being roommates," Nessa protested, sticking her tongue out at Beau before turning to me with a wink. "It's just...girl talk."

"Wait, what?" Madie's head popped up from the sea of shoulders in the kitchen. And by sea, I meant the narrow space between Bren and Grayson. "I want to know."

"Still sounds like collusion," Beau grumbled, and I laughed.

"It's nothing," I said. "Seriously."

Beau wasn't appeased, but he swung his gaze around to Bren, who was pulling beer out of a paper bag and setting it on the counter.

"So, what's the occasion?" Beau asked.

Bren shrugged. "It's the first Saturday in forever that all of us had off, and it's a crappy day outside. Might as well make the most of it."

Quickly shifting into the well-rehearsed party-mode version of himself, Beau nodded in approval and began pulling glasses down from the cupboards for drinks. Meanwhile, Madie started piling snacks onto the counter as Grayson escaped from the kitchen completely, throwing himself onto the couch and stretching across it.

"Speaking of work schedules," Beau said thoughtfully, "any chance you all took off spring break?"

"No, actually," Madie answered. "But we were just talking about that, and our manager didn't put us on the schedule anyway."

"I think he assumed we wouldn't be around," Nessa added, reminding me that the manager was some semi-distant relation of hers.

Beau had a gleam in his eye that I understood all too well. The others likely didn't realize it yet, but I did, and I knew—

"Then where we headin'?"

Everyone froze, staring at Beau like they weren't sure what the hell he was talking about. Nessa's brow rose. Grayson's head cocked to one side. Bren frowned in confusion. And Madie was the first one to break the silence—because she understood, too.

"Beau, I'm heading to the library over spring break. I have a paper due the week after it that's worth like half of my grade in my Socio—"

"Madie," Beau groaned in response, reaching across the countertop to put his hand on her arm like he could physically pull her back to her senses. "Why study in the library when you can study on the beach?"

"The beach?" she repeated, almost dazed in how she said it. Her eyes flicked from Beau to Bren. "I do...I do like studying on the beach."

"Like the beach?" Nessa asked, perking up.

"The beach?" Grayson questioned from his place on the couch. "What beach?"

"Oh my god, Grayson." Nessa threw one hand up in the air. "Can you please keep up? The beach. Like the beach where—" Nessa pointed at Madie and then Bren, both of whom continued to exchange an unreadable look. An intimate and hot communication passed between them, and I had to glance away.

"Sure, that beach works," Beau said with a shrug, seemingly oblivious to everything else passing around him. "I doubt my parents will be using the Malibu house over spring break." After he skirted around the kitchen to my side, Beau wrapped an arm around my waist and lowered his voice. "Would that be okay with you? It's kind of a long drive."

His eyes found mine, tentative. But all I could do? Smile.

"If you drive...yes."

"Let's do it," Grayson cemented. "I gotta see this infamous beach. But I also don't want to stay in any bedroom that Hadaway has contaminated."

That comment forced Bren's gaze to break away from Madie's, and he sent a glare across the room. Grayson chuckled, his eyes shining with amusement.

"Fine by me," Bren said with a growing smirk. "That just means that Madie and I get the master bedroom, then."

Blushing furiously, Madie smacked Bren in the arm, but he just threw that same arm around her shoulders, nonplussed.

I glanced over to find Beau watching me and smiled. "So spring break in Malibu, huh?"

His grin matched mine. "If that's okay with you."

"It is, but...." I lowered my voice.

Beau cocked a brow, waiting for what I had to say while I barely managed to keep a bit of slyness from sneaking into my smile. I leaned thoughtfully on the counter, taking extra care to pop my ass out a bit. Playfully. It was time to play again.

Beau tried—and failed—to keep his gaze glued to my face, and my lips curved upward.

"I need you to take me shopping first."

His mouth dropping open, Beau blinked twice and tilted his head like he hadn't heard me correctly. "You want me...to take you shopping."

It would probably be the first and last time I ever asked Beau for a shopping spree, but I couldn't resist another opportunity to tease a reaction out of him. It was addicting. Hooking.

"For a new bikini, yes."

"For a new bikini," Beau repeated, eyes trailing up my body slowly as if imagining me in a dressing room, wearing next to nothing. Or he was remembering a few minutes ago in my bedroom.

"Yeah, I don't think any of my old swimsuits fit anymore." Turning to face him, I put a hand on my hip as Bren, Madie, and Nessa chatted behind us, moving to sit on the couch with Grayson. "You know the dress I wore to the gala last year?"

Beau snorted, snapping out of his daze. "That's a ridiculous question. Of course I know that dress."

The thought behind the look in his eyes was unmistakable. It said: I know that dress because I took it off you. I know that dress because I hitched it up in an elevator. I know that dress because I bought it for you.

"Well, I'd love to find a suit in that same color. I think red looks good on me."

A muscle jumped in Beau's jaw. His eyes trailed over me again. "You think, huh?"

I nodded, and with an overdramatic groan, Beau slapped a hand to his face and dragged it down.

"What?" I folded my arms over my chest in mock irritation. "You don't agree? I suppose a white or cream-colored suit would be cute, too. But then there's the risk of it being see-through when it gets wet."

After overly enunciating the last word, I stared up at Beau, who had bit down on his lip while glaring back at me. When he didn't say anything, I shrugged and turned on my heel.

"I have to use the bathroom. Be right back."

My pulse thudded as I strode down the hallway. What had started as playful has ended as anything but. There was nothing cute about how my heart sped up. Nothing silly about the hot tingles racing up and down my spine. And so I wasn't surprised that after only two steps into the bathroom, Beau stormed into the small space, pushing me up against the kitchen sink.

"Yes, you look amazing in red. Yes, I will take you shopping. And yes, you've teased me enough and made your goddamn point today," he breathed in my ear, using the sink as leverage to hike my legs up and around his waist. Twirling us around, he kicked the door shut, cutting off the distant voices of the others, and then plastered me to the back of it to cage me in with his body. "Now it's finally my turn. Okay?"

Beau's eyes pierced mine, searching for my approval, my consent to let him do whatever the hell he wanted. I could only imagine what he had planned in that head of his, but it didn't matter. I trusted him with everything, with all of it.

"Okay."

He dropped me back down to my feet, and a whoosh of air left my lungs, leaving me breathless. But not as breathless as when Beau began leaving a trail of kisses down my neck, nipping at all my most sensitive places. When he got to the neckline of my dress, I thought for sure he would yank it down and continue, but to my surprise, he sank to his knees and slid the hem of my dress up instead.

"Spoiling isn't about a price tag, Collins," he said gruffly. "You spoil me all the fucking time, and you don't even realize it. You know what I want more than anything?"

"What?"

"Someone who gets me." Hooking his fingers into my underwear, Beau yanked them down before tapping my leg with a single finger to get me to step out of them. "Someone who understands me. Someone who takes the loneliness away."

"I don't want you to be lonely, Beau," I breathed, barely able to concentrate on what he was saying when I was too focused on what he was doing. But the idea of Beau feeling lonely? I hated it. I hated that maybe he felt that way during the months between the gala and when we moved in together.

"I'm not with you. Because you let me in," he insisted, standing again.

Grabbing both of my wrists, Beau raised them above my head. Mesmerized, I watched our reflection in the mirror above the bathroom sink as Beau used my underwear to tie my wrists together. And when the lace was nice and tight, he slipped it over the hook on the back of the bathroom door that we sometimes used for towels. It left me stretched out before him and at his mercy—which was usually a good place to be.

"It's the fact that you're in my bed every night," Beau said, catching my eyes and keeping them. "That you give me books that remind you of me. That you take the time to create art that you think I'll like. You let me be sad when I need to be sad, but you smile when I smile. You've given me more than you'll ever know."

I swallowed a gasp. "It's not enough, though."

He traced a finger thoughtfully along my jawline, his gaze searching my face. "When you... care about someone, it'll never feel like enough. It's why I want to give you everything, Collins. I want you to have the things you deserve....And do you know what you deserve?"

His slight pause before asking that question made me realize how much I was hanging on every word.

"What?"

The corner of Beau's mouth tipped up, knowing and wolfish. His hand clapped down between my legs, fingers curling over me, firmly cupping. Squeezing hard and making me gasp. "To have your fucking pussy eaten."

Heat pooled within me, and I knew I was done saying no. Even if I weren't tied up, I wouldn't have stopped him. We both wanted it too much.

Beau lowered back to his knees and pushed my skirt up around my waist again. I expected him to lean in and make good on his declaration, but he took his time instead. A finger teased my bikini line, making me open my legs wider and whimper, needing that firm touch again.

"Quiet now," Beau said, his grin quickly escalating on the cocky meter. "I don't want anyone else to hear you because those sounds are just for me, Collins."

He stroked me slowly, like a test to gauge my readiness, and then plunged two fingers inside me a moment later when he realized I was soaked. God. I had to bite down on my lip not to make a noise. Beau kept his fingers there, curling them in as he brought his head between my thighs and glanced up at me. "Leg over my shoulder, baby girl."