I half-expected her to pull away, but Collins immediately leaned into the kiss. It felt regretful and sad, though. Desperate in an entirely different way than our kisses were last night.

Ignoring the pit in my stomach, I bit the bottom of her lip, letting it slide through my teeth as if I realized too late that I couldn't hold onto her like this. Collins gasped, and before I could take that gasp and make it mine, she pulled back.

"It really is complicated, Beau."

I must be hooked up to an IV filled with liquid panic, because that was the only thing pumping through my veins. It fueled me to fight through the sea of blankets, whipping them back until I found Collins' bare body. There she was. My fingers ran up her legs, and she shivered.

"Tell me not to touch you, then."

Conflict—that was what dripped through Collins' IV, and I could see her fighting it just as hard as I tried to swallow down my alarm.

"I can't," she breathed.

"Tell me you're not still wet for me," I rasped.

She shook her head. "I can't do that either."

My fingers traced the skin between her thighs, dipping dangerously close to her pussy. Collins' eyes fluttered shut.

"Tell me you don't want this."

"I—Beau."

"Say it," I said, nudging her open wider so I could take her clit between two fingers and give it a little pinch as I emphasized my next words. "Say it, Collins."

"I can't say it."

Fuck.

I wasn't even sure what I'd wanted to hear, but I realized it wasn't this. Pulling back, I sucked my wet fingers into my mouth to savor the last taste of this goddamn gorgeous girl. I rolled off my bed to pull my clothes back on, and my knees felt weak.

"Just so we're clear," I said, scanning her dazed face as I buttoned my shirt. Collins sat up in the bed, a wall rebuilding over her expression. "You couldn't say any of that, and you still want me to leave?"

Collins cleared her throat. "Yes."

"Got it." I shoved my feet into my shoes, feeling a bit angrier with each piece of clothing I put back on. "So you want it, but you don't want me."

"Beau." She said my name sharply this time. "It's not you—"

"It's fine, baby girl." I swallowed hard and then flashed a smile. "It's fine. I don't know why I assumed..."

I shook my head and headed for the door.

—

"I like it when you're in such a good mood."

I bounced around my mom in the kitchen of the Martin Mountain Lodge, helping her make dinner. I liked seeing her here, relaxed and in her mom element. Not businesswoman extraordinaire, just mom. It didn't happen often, and so I tried to soak it up when it did.

Growing up, I sometimes resented how busy she was. Dad always put it into perspective, though. How much we owed to her success. What a different place we would be in without it.

"Mom, do you even know me? I'm always in a good mood."

"No." She waved a stir spoon at me. "I know that you want people to think you're always in a good mood. There's a difference."

That was annoyingly fair and true.

"Why you gotta be all-knowing like that all the time?"

She smiled and went back to stirring the sauce in the pot. It was spaghetti night. And if I got any on my sweater, it didn't fucking matter. No sweaty palms. No weak knees. No heavy arms. Everything was chill tonight, and wasn't that a nice change for once? I only hoped it stayed that way.

"Honey, that's my job."

"Well," I said, dragging out the word as I rummaged in the cabinets for the spices she wanted. "If you must know, I'm in a damn good mood because Collins and I are dating."

"Atta boy!" Dad called the couch, but I wasn't entirely sure if he was talking to me or the college basketball game playing on TV. But then he cleared it up by adding, "When we gonna meet her?"

My mom took that opportunity to add her take. "Why didn't you bring her this weekend?" she asked, giving me the same look she did when I hadn't brought Collins home for Christmas. She wasn't upset, though. Not really. I could see it in the twinkle of her eyes and the slight smile she kept trying to suppress.

"Because, mom," I said, trying to placate her. "It's the first weekend of the semester, she has homework to do, and it's a long drive for someone who really doesn't like being in the car."

She raised a brow. "We could have found a way around the car situation."

"Yeah, speaking of that." I cleared my voice. "I might have used the plane to take Collins on a date last weekend."

"I know," Mom hummed, revealing why she hadn't acted the least bit surprised when I'd announced we were dating. No wonder I hadn't gotten a bigger reaction. "A simple text next time would be appreciated, Beau."

"Right. My bad. I was just in a time crunch, and I knew you'd have a million questions." When Mom opened her mouth to argue, I added, "You know you can be a little nosy sometimes, right?"

She laughed, and while her smile was genuine, there was also a fair amount of exasperation in her voice. "I would think that answering a few questions in exchange for using the private jet would be pretty reasonable. What do you think, John?"

"I agree," my dad said stoutly. Without hesitation.

He knew his role well. Always agree with Mom.

"Point taken," I said with a sigh. "I'm sorry."

Mom shrugged, having gotten the guilt trip off her shoulder. "Did you at least impress her?"

When she winked, I chuckled. "She hasn't dumped me yet, so that's a good sign. Right?"

"Right," Dad declared before jumping up to cheer raucously for a buzzer shot.

Taking advantage of dad's distractibility, I leaned closer to mom. "Hey, mom?"

"Hm?" She barely looked up from her steaming pot, but her expression told me she was listening.

I took a deep breath before confessing. "Last time I was here, Cato showed up."

Her expression didn't change. I would have thought she hadn't heard me if it weren't for the twitch of her lips. "I know," she said quietly with a sniff. "There are cameras in the drive, Beau."

Right. I should have remembered that.

"I have a feeling he might show up again this weekend."

Mom nodded once. It couldn't be more goddamn clear that she didn't want to talk about Cato, so I made the right choice for my personal health and safety and moved toward Dad on the couch, knowing he hadn't heard us. Which was a relief.

If Mom acted weird about Cato, Dad acted even weirder. But pretty sure that came more from a protectiveness of Mom than anything else. He hated how much Cato had hurt her in the last couple of years.

"Wait, Beau?"

Mom's slightly strangled voice caught me off guard, and I backpedaled into the kitchen.

"Yeah?"

She chewed on her lip before her sad eyes raised to mine. "How was he?"

"He was...."

Good would have been a lie. But I hated to worry my mom more than she already was.

"He's okay, mom. He's okay."

****

Cato was not okay.

He found me right before my run, sneaking into the competition area to catch me with less than ten minutes to spare before I planned on taking to the pipe.

I wasn't really surprised; Cato would do what he could to stay out of the range of my parents, and this was one place where he knew they wouldn't be. But damn, if it wasn't the worst timing. Not to mention, seeing him put an uncomfortable pit in my stomach. Dude didn't look good. He badly needed a haircut, even more than me, and everything about him seemed...deflated. Worn.

"Now isn't exactly a good time, Cato," I said, despite greeting him with a brotherly handshake.

"I know, man." He ran a shaky hand through his hair before leaning against the terrain park sign, propping his snowboard up next to him.

"I'm getting lunch with mom and dad after this in the village. You could come, you know." I figured it was worth a try, and maybe it would get me back to my team quicker. Professor Evans kept shooting me glares.

"Nah, I gotta talk to you without them."

It wasn't a lashing out like I had been half-expecting at the mention of our parents, but it still lacked any sort of consideration on the topic. He didn't have that anger in him that he used to, though. His heavy expression made him seem too tired for it.

"We could hit a few runs after lunch?" I offered, but Cato still shook his head.

Yeah, he didn't actually want to see me, spend time with me, or have anything to do with me. That much was clear.

"I'll be quick," he said, his eyes shifting back and forth as if on the lookout. But the only things around us were snow and trees and college kids milling around the competition area. "I need some money, but it'll be a loan. I promise. Just a loan."

I frowned. "And what am I investing in?"

Cato pressed his lips together, and I knew he wouldn't tell me.

"Beau, please," he said, and he sounded so fucking desperate that it made my palms sweat. My knees weak. Goddamnit. "You won't be investing anything. Your name won't be attached."

I sighed. "And what happens if I don't?"

Rubbing at his eyes with the heel of his hands, he shook his head. "Bad shit, man. I don't even know."

Fuck. "Dude, you gotta talk to Mom. She'll help you—"

"No." Cato threw his hands back to his sides, whacking them against his snow gear. "She'll be so fucking pissed. You have no idea."

"Whose fault is that?" I shot back. "Whose fault is it that I have no idea?"

"Beau, just—" He closed his eyes in frustration, but I wanted to bet that it wasn't half as much as I was feeling right now. I wanted to knock some fucking sense into him. "Do you have 100k or not?"

I nearly choked on air. "Do I have one hundred thousand dollars?"

I mean, I did. But holy fuck, Cato.

"Yes," he hissed, lowering his voice.

"I don't know, Cato...." I said, tossing my hands behind my head in thought. I rocked my heels back into the snow. The air whipped around us, particularly icy this weekend. Cold enough to send a chill running down my spine despite all the base layers I had on.

Cato's eyes lit up. He knew I had the money. I knew I had the money. The question was what that money was worth. Enough to sway our relationship if the look on Cato's face told the truth. This had nothing to do with the amount, though. Not for me. No matter what he said, I wouldn't be getting that cash back. But would I get my brother back?

I was the person who helped. Who gave. Who figured out goddamn solutions when people needed them. I didn't know how the fuck to help Cato, though. Partly because he wouldn't tell me what the hell was going on. But also because I had a feeling that money was the problem.

Right now, it was all I had to give him, though.

"Okay, but you do realize that Mom and Dad will know, right? They've got eyes on my accounts, and you'll have to answer to them eventually, Cato."

He nodded, growing paler at the thought. "By the time they figure it out, you'll have the money back."

I doubted that, but I didn't press it. "My team is having drinks at McCoy's tonight. Meet me there." I glanced down at my watch and swore. "Gotta go."

And then I ran my shittest run of the season. Honestly, it was a miracle that I even managed to land everything. Even with some punk rock blasting in my ears and the perfect, semi-cloudy weather, I still fucked up, twisting a little too far on my last Backside 1080. Shit, I knew I'd feel that later.

My parents tried to cheer me up with food and drinks, but it only half-worked. I was too eager to go ice the shit out of my entire body and then get this money transaction over with.

Cato didn't stick around at McCoy's after getting what he wanted, so I didn't either. Chelsea, unsurprisingly, tried to get me to stay for another round, but in the most straightforward, no-nonsense way I could muster, I told her I wasn't interested. Before Collins had said what she'd said in the kitchen yesterday morning, I hadn't thought twice about Chelsea's attention. But now...yeah, she was a little clingy. Just another reason to leave.

Dad and I spent the night watching basketball instead. He was a man of few words, and that was honestly what I needed tonight because my mood soured even more when Bren texted me.

Hey, did Collins ever explain the shit that went down in high school?

My sweaty palms returned.

About the car accident? Yeah, she told me.

Then you know who Denver Bailey is, right?

Bailey. That's the last name I was looking for. Bailey, Bailey, Bailey. I needed to remember that.

Had the unfortunate circumstance of finding him in our apartment when I came back on Christmas night. So yeah.

Seriously? That pisses me the fuck off. I should have punched him.

Oh, I did.

Wait, you should have punched him when?

Earlier today. He walked up to Collins and the girls in The Grounds when I was working.

My vision went fuzzy, and then it blazed red.

✨

I'm a sucker for protective boyfriends.

But you know what I'm also a sucker for?

Protective friends.

all of this is coming as a real surprise, I'm sure.

Anyway, you might have a guess

of what's coming next.

Bren, I've ✨missed✨you.

xoxo Amelie