kissing me sweetly when I asked. But that was at least ten minutes ago, and now our kisses had turned rough. Needy.

Fuck, I needed her. She was pressed against my chest, and I felt every curve, every inch of skin. Amazing. So amazing. When she reached between our naked bodies and wrapped her hand around my cock, I nearly exploded. When she caressed, up and down, I groaned loudly against her lips.

"Hope you don't mind," she breathed in response, "but I'm going to use all five fingers for this. And I'm not going to bother asking first if that's how many you want."

What kind of hellfire was this girl created in? Because she was making me absolutely burn.

All five fingertips dragged up the sides of my erection before fisting the head. Her thumb made little circles over the tip, and I choked on air.

"If you keep that up," I rasped. "I'm not going to last."

She grinned against my mouth. "No."

"No?"

Jesus Christ.

"No, you're going to last. At least until I can get all of you in my mouth."

All of me? Ambitious girl.

"Better move fast then, sweetheart."

—

I needed to stop talking with my dick.

No, really. I was going to be good today with Collins. I was going to find the happy medium between being friends-who-are-roommates and roommates-who-want-to-fuck. I had that in me, right?

I'd better. Because if I kept going at the rate I had been yesterday, I was going to end up dragging her back to my room tonight. That shit in the kitchen? I'd been just a breath away from letting her suck me off behind the counter before I'd summoned up self-control from the depths of some magical cave inside me.

I think I could have made pretty fast work of sucking you off, Beau.

Like seriously? This was what a slow death felt like, wasn't it? Fuck my performance on the slopes yesterday. Me walking out of the kitchen without throwing her over my shoulder...that was what deserved a medal. A trophy.

Baby girl was playing dirty, too, bringing up Bren like that. God, that made me see red. All misty and hazy in front of my eyes like the precursor for dementors that were gonna pop outta nowhere and try to suck my soul for daring to be that goddamn jealous. But it did put things into perspective for me; I couldn't change the list of guys who had touched her beside me, but like hell was that list going to grow.

It wasn't just that she'd hooked up with Bren, though. It was that she wanted to put me in the same category as him. Because regardless of my...feelings where they were concerned, the two of them were friends. Like actually friends. Just friends.

We—Collins and I—were not.

And I mean, to my credit, I was pretty positive that she got the message that I didn't want to be friends. I did rub my cock between her legs in the kitchen—inconspicuous, right? But now I needed her to get the message that I didn't want to be friends in the way that I wanted her to tell me all her secrets, let me protect her at night, and then kiss her until she passed out.

Otherwise known as dating. I wanted to date her. Collins Bryant was the kindest soul I'd ever met, she knew how to make me laugh, and we had chemistry that made chemists look like fools. Y'all needed degrees for this shit? Sorry it didn't come naturally; better luck next time.

And yes, believe it or not, I was fully aware that she rejected me eight months ago, but it was way more complicated than the bullshit she'd spewed that morning. And that meant I needed to get Collins to let go of whatever hang-up she had about...well, I didn't even know what the fuck it was about. So that had to change. And soon.

Collins needed to trust me.

And that was what today was about.

"I told you this was a terrible idea."

I buckled the strap beneath Collins' helmet. Safety first, always.

"It is the best idea that I have ever had. I don't know what you're talking about."

She shook her now-helmeted head. "First of all, are you sure your mom isn't going to be mad about—"

"My mom will love that someone is using her winter stuff. It doesn't do any good just sitting in her closet."

Collins ignored me and plowed forward. "Second of all, I have no balance."

Flashing a grin, I zipped her winter jacket all the way up, careful not to catch one of her curls in the zipper. "That's what I'm here for."

"Beau," she whined, stomping her boot down into the snow. I tried not to think about the other times she'd gotten a little...whiny.

I'd lured Collins out of her room with the promise of fresh air and a break from all the sickening PDA happening in the house between the couples. It seemed to work well enough, but the closer we got to the hill, the more hesitant she appeared to be.

"Look, yesterday, you seemed a little disappointed that I disappeared on the slopes for the afternoon," I said honestly. Her little interrogation in the kitchen was cute, but she'd been way off base thinking that I wanted to be with my team over her. "So I wanted you to come with me today."

She wrinkled her nose. Okay, definitely not the reaction I had been hoping for. Come on, that comment was sweet, right? And my dick had not been involved at all.

"Does that mean we're meeting up with other people? Other people on the slopes?"

She said people like she was an extreme introvert being forced to socialize. Which I knew wasn't entirely the truth. Did she like her alone time? Sure. But she never complained about going out before. In fact, Collins rarely complained about anything. So what was up with this?

"No other people," I assured her.

I didn't want to share today.

A little brightness shone in her eyes at that, and I forgot all about being curious why she was complaining. I just soaked in the sunshine.

The weather was perfect on the mountain today. Warm enough that it wasn't unbearable but not too warm that it affected the powder.

Not that we were going to be on any powder today. It was straight to the bunny hill with this girl. Her worries seemed to ease away a little as I marched her over to the base of the beginner's station. It was pretty packed today with people of all ages learning to ski or board, but in a way, that was for the best. No one was going to be paying attention to us, and everyone would be falling. It made for less embarrassment and more anonymity.

Collins stopped in her tracks, tossing her rental board down in front of her. It smacked against the snow loudly.

"Easy with the goods there, Collins."

Like I know you can be.

Brushing off my comment, Collins stared at the hill. "It's way too big."

Ah, memories.

"Is not," I countered. "It looks like that from here, but the incline is incredibly gradual. It won't even feel like a hill when you get up there."

"Hill?" she repeated. "That's a mountain."

I laughed. "Okay, this is what you need to know. When you're standing on the board, you have a heelside and a toeside—"

"Very original. You come up with that?"

"No, if you must know, I did not come up with that. But see? It's easy. The directions are self-explanatory. When you switch to heelside, you dig your heels in. Toeside, toes."

"Sure. Easy. Okay." Collins took a deep breath. "How do we get up there?"

Sweeping my arms out in front of us, I gestured to the conveyor belt traveling up the hill. Skiers and snowboarders were sliding onto it one by one. "Your magic carpet awaits, sweetheart."

"Magic carpet," she repeated, eyeing the rubbery black belt. "You're joking with that name, aren't you?"

"Nope." I shook my head. It wasn't the kind of magic carpet I wanted to take her on. It wasn't as far or as wide as I wanted to travel with this girl. But up this little bunny hill was a good start. At least she was going somewhere with me. "That's definitely what it's called."

"I judged the snowboarding community too quickly," she muttered. "Maybe they are original after all."

****

"I'm standing!"

The huge grin on Collins' face was doing wonders for my endorphins. Screw adrenaline from the half-pipe or sex. Apparently, all I needed was a smile.

I was so fucked.

"Atta girl," I said with a laugh, moving around to put my hands on her waist because even though, yes, she was standing in the bindings, she was doing it with her hands spread wide like she was about to catch a wave and go surfing. Not the most confident stance. "Now I'm going to get you moving a little bit, and you'll practice dropping your weight back."

"What?" Panicky and cute, she tried to look over her shoulder at me. "I'm not dropping anything, Beau Martin."

"Yes, you are," I encouraged, trying not to laugh even more. "You're going to dig those heels in and drop back like you're sitting."

"Uh-huh. And don't you dare move me."

"The momentum will help stabilize you. If you do it while standing still, you're more likely to fall."

"Yeah, but at least I won't be going fast when I fall."

She had a point, but... "You're not going to fall."

"How do you know?"

"Because I'm going to be right behind you." To emphasize that point, I squeezed her waist.

A shiver worked its way through her, and I looked up at the sun shining brightly over us.

"Ready?" I asked next to her ear. I couldn't ask it in her ear because of the helmet, but I tried to speak softly. Closely. So she knew I was there.

There was a long pause.

"No," she whispered.

I couldn't help it. I laughed. Loudly. I'd been so certain she was going to tell me she was ready to go for it, but it would seem there was a bit more fear in Collins Bryant than I ever would have guessed. She was usually so steadfast.

"Fine," I said. "Let's try it here, then. Without moving, like you wanted. Try sitting back on me."

"You want me to sit on you?" she squeaked.

"Yes." I cleared my throat and lowered my voice. "I want you to sit on me."

On my face, preferably, because I was having withdrawals after yesterday. But whatever. This would work, too.

A protest unraveled in her throat. "I don't want to hurt you."

Oh, Collins. The only thing you're going to hurt today is my self-control.

"You're not going to hurt me." I patted her side. "Come on."

Slowly, I got her to drop back, practicing digging her heels in. The board slipped a little bit at one point like I'd been worried it would do when just standing there, but I held her steady when she squealed.

In a way, she wasn't wrong. Teaching her to snowboard was a bad idea, a terrible idea for someone who had decided they weren't going to talk with their dick and now had their dick pressed up against a very nice ass. The snow pants definitely helped with some much-needed separation, but still.

"What do you think?" I asked, trying to keep breathing despite being so close.

"I think I need to do more squats next time I go to the gym," she said, and I straightened her again, much to both of our relief. "My legs are burning up."

"You don't." Releasing her, I hovered my hands around her middle, ready to react if need be. "Trust me, you've got what it takes. But I'll go with you if you ever want to do some squats."

The idea of Collins in a gym with a whole slew of college guys creeping on her made me wary.

"Okay," she said, twisting around to look at me with a smile.

And that was when she fell. The slightest movement, shoving her off-balance. Luckily, I did catch her. But I didn't exactly catch myself, which meant that she was now sitting in my lap on the snow. Laughing. God, that laugh.

"I'm sorry," she fussed. "Oh my god, I'm so sorry."

It wasn't a problem. I liked Collins in my lap. But if she stayed in my lap, we would, eventually, have a problem. Mainly because all her giggling meant her body was shaking and jostling, and yeah, I knew that I should have more ability to get my shit together, but I didn't.

"I don't know how to get up with my feet strapped on this damn thing." She tried to rock forward, only to fall back into my lap with a heavy thud that I felt everywhere. And then she did it again, and I barely kept in a curse.

"Collins," I said through gritted teeth. "Let's take you out of the bindings, okay? Then you can just stand up."

"Okay." One last giggle wracked her body. Which, in turn, wrecked mine. "Okay, I can do that."

About an hour later, and it was clear that Collins was not going to get a hang of heelside today. And though I was a little hesitant to suggest it, because most people found heelside easier than toeside, I got her to flip around.

"Oh, I already like this much better," she exclaimed with a sigh once she was facing me.

"You do?"

"Well, yeah." She sounded breathless. "I'm looking at you."

Yes, she was. I was staring straight into those dark eyes, my eyes wandering all around that pretty face.

Her sheepish smile tugged at my soul. "Much better than staring down the hill."

"Well, I guess when you put it like that," I said dryly. All of the moisture in my body had been sucked up with one look from her. "So for this, you'll need to bend your knees again but then extend your hips."

"My hips?"

She sounded confused, like I was speaking in a foreign language.

"Yes." I slid my hands back to her waist but then lowered them. Gripped her hips. Forced her to pop them back. "I know you know how to move those hips, Collins."

She was so close to me that I felt her breath leave her lips. Her pupils dilated, and I swore softly beneath my breath. Collins licked her lips, and the urge to kiss her was beyond anything I'd ever felt.

Silence lingered. I should let go of her; really, I should. But I worried that she would fall.

"Maybe we should be done," I whispered. I was losing it. I had a mission today, and I was losing control of it.

"Okay."

Before that moment, I had been doing well—with not talking with my dick and all. Heated, charged moments still lingered between us, unavoidable, even though I tried to ignore them. But it wasn't until right now that I wanted to ask Collins what she thought about when she went to bed last night. If it was what I thought about. What I'd told her to think about.

But I didn't.

I did good.

At least until I opened my mouth on our way back to my parents' place.

"I think I'm going to be sore tomorrow," Collins mumbled, dragging her feet through the snow.

"The hot tub might help," I said.

No. No, no, no.

It was just such a routine thing to say. It was what we did all the time. Skied and boarded all day. Drank in the hot tub at night. Slept hard and repeated it the next day.

"You have a hot tub?"

The interest in her question was clear, and shit, that would be a problem.

"Yeah. Uh, yeah. We do."

"God, that sounds amazing."

Wrong. Wrong, Collins. I barely managed to be on good behavior while you were wearing an entire snowsuit. A snowsuit. A swimsuit would kill me.

"I'm sure the other girls would love to check it out with you."

There. That would do it.

"You don't want to join?" She glanced over at me, and there was a tiny bit of hopefulness there, a tiny bit of something dangerous. And then she looked away again. "I suppose you're not as sore."

Well, that wasn't entirely true. I'd broken most of her falls. "No, I'm a bit sore."

Fuck, shut up, will you? She gave you an out.

"Oh, good. Then you'll have to join us."

I walked right into that one. A weak smile stretched over my face. "Sounds good."

It did not, in fact, sound good. It sounded like an unimaginable circle of hell. That shit didn't even have a number.

But I was going to do it anyway.

✨

i was back and forth on if I wanted to include this scene and the next or not, but at the last minute I whipped it up because shaylamariam convinced me to!

hope you enjoyed!

xoxo amelie