probably the hottest thing I'd ever seen.

The slow unbuttoning of his shirt with those fingers that had just been inside me....yeah, I was about ready to start touching myself to dull the intensity of how ridiculously turned on I was. God, I shouldn't be. I shouldn't be this hot and eager, not after what had happened in the elevator ten minutes ago. But Beau just did something to me.

He didn't seem to mind being a spectacle. If anything, he was enjoying it. His lips were curved up in a secret all-knowing smile, and when he finally stripped his dress shirt off and threw it on the bed, he raised a brow.

"Like the show?"

I leaned back on the bed, spreading out from where he'd instructed me to sit a few minutes ago. "I'm a big fan of the show."

Shirtless, Beau unbuckled his belt. "I'm a big fan of the audience."

With a laugh, I brushed my hair out of my face. I didn't want to miss a thing.

I couldn't remember the last time I'd laughed this much during a hook-up. Well, I couldn't remember a time when I'd laughed at all during a hook-up.

"What do you want to see next?" Beau asked, whipping his belt out of the loops on his pants. "I'm here all night, baby."

__

Too late, I realized the problem with Beau's flannel shirt.

The buttons on it weren't the ones that slipped into place in the tiny holes. No, they were the kind of buttons that snapped together.

And easily snapped apart.

Meaning that I was half-naked when I woke up the next morning in Beau's bed.

Well, not quite. The flannel shirt was still on. But it was completely unbuttoned. And completely flung apart. And I was, yep, completely bare.

We'd fallen asleep haphazardly. I was all over the place, lying across the top of the bed while Beau's head barely graced the edge of a pillow. He was crooked, and I was diagonal. Neither of us was where we should have been, which was on opposite sides of the bed and not in a position where Beau's face was all but nuzzled into my chest. My very bare chest.

I squealed a little bit when I realized. And that was my first mistake. Because big surprise—it woke him up. Before I could cover myself.

But then he opened his eyes, and suddenly I couldn't move even if I wanted to.

My skin warmed, all hot and prickly when he unashamedly latched onto the sight in front of him. His previously slow, deep breathing quickened the longer he stared, and then he began trailing his gaze up, sucking all of the air out of my body as he did.

I should be embarrassed, should stop whatever was happening, but the moment that Beau's eyes connected with mine, I knew I was helpless to it all. It was like I was watching the scene from afar, sitting on the edge of a seat, desperate to see what would happen next. I wasn't in control anymore. At this moment, he had all of me.

Beau shifted, raking a hand through his hair to move it out of his eyes. He inched closer to me, gaze never leaving mine. I licked my lips without thinking, and he mimicked me. Besides that we stayed still, neither of us willing to break the tension. Not when it felt so heady, so delicious. God, what I wouldn't give to hear the thoughts in his head right now. What I wouldn't give for him to say something.

He didn't speak, though. His gaze fell back down again. It was quick—like he was sneaking a peek of something he didn't have permission to look at. There was an obvious war raging inside that head of his between the two versions of himself, and I wasn't sure which one I wanted to win.

Until his eyes, so intense and hungry, found mine again. And then I knew.

Fuck, I missed having him look at me like that.

"Collins," he breathed.

There was a bit of pining, a bit of desperation in how he said it.

I sucked in a breath. "Beau."

He swore softly, and I could almost hear him counting in his head. Waiting for some undetermined amount of time to pass before he forced himself to move. And when he finally did, it was to dip his head closer to my chest. My heart kicked up a notch in response, anticipation flowing freely in my veins, longing for...anything. I didn't even know what.

Beau seemed to know, though. He lowered his head slowly, searching my face for any sign that he should stop. But that was the last thing I wanted. My nipples hardened, a tell-tale sign of what part of my body was making decisions.

Beau broke contact with my gaze just before he pressed a kiss to the spot right below my collarbone. Even though I knew it was coming, I gasped. And then, when he started trailing open-mouthed kisses down my sternum, I sighed. Yes. His eyes flicked back up to mine when he reached the swell of my breast, and I could have sworn that I saw his lips curve in a smirk.

Finally, he spoke again.

"I'm sorry," he mumbled against my skin before looking away, giving all of his attention to what he was doing.

It definitely seemed like he was apologizing for kissing me, but he wasn't making an effort to stop. His lips brushed over my breasts, making me think that he either couldn't help it or he didn't care anymore.

"Why are you apologizing?" I asked, hating how scratchy my voice was. How completely not sexy I sounded.

Beau didn't answer right away. Instead, he swirled his tongue around my nipple, and I groaned.

"Because I said I'd keep my hands to myself," he muttered as if it were an afterthought.

"You're using your mouth," I gasped. "There's a difference."

The noise he made in response sent a pulsing heat straight between my legs.

"You're so fucking right," he groaned before sucking my whole nipple into his mouth, and I arched my back, giving all of myself up for him.

Oh, God. It was just as good as I remembered. The things he could do with that mouth would forever haunt me. Ruin me for other guys.

I tangled my fingers into his thick, black hair, holding his head in place because I didn't want him to ever fucking stop.

"I've never tasted anyone as soft and sweet as you." His voice was husky and low, and an odd amount of both pride and irritation spread through me.

"Please don't," I moaned.

"What? This?" He nipped at my skin.

"No." Definitely do that, Beau. "No, don't remind me that I'm not the only one you've tasted."

I'd probably regret saying that later, but holding my thoughts back right now? Impossible.

Beau chuckled, and fuck, why was it so hot? "Awfully jealous sounding for someone who wanted to be friends. "

Wanted to be friends? Pretty sure I never said I wanted to be friends. He didn't know half of what I actually wanted. But now wasn't the time for that.

"Just shut up and—" I broke off with a gasp as he scraped his teeth over my sensitive skin again.

"Suck your tits?" he filled in for me. "You got it."

He reapplied himself, covering his hot mouth over one breast and then another, and it was making me absolutely writhe. My body throbbed with the need for more. I didn't want him to stop what he was doing, but I also realized I might combust if he kept going without giving me something more.

And Beau knew.

"I want to get you off." He said it so seriously, but then amusement filtered into his gaze as he watched me squirm. "Will it happen like this?"

"No," I said, firm and immediate.

More, Beau. I wanted more. To prove that, I let go of his hair, giving him the freedom to kiss me anywhere he wanted.

He laughed throatily. "Noted."

His lips started trailing down my front, kissing the planes of my stomach until he reached the waistband of my sweatpants. Well, his sweatpants.

"Do you want this?" he asked, peeking upward through the hair hanging in his face.

"Yes." Just like the last time we were together, I couldn't seem to find many words. But I found the most important ones. "Please yes, Beau."

To make that clear, I lifted my hips. Asking. Pleading.

Satisfaction plastered across Beau's face. "I fucking love it when you beg."

I'd get on my knees for him if he kept talking like that. I'd get on my knees so fast.

"But you don't have to, you know," he added before lowering his head again to kiss me, whispering. "I would give you anything you asked for, Collins. Anything at all."

I knew that. God, I knew that, and so there was a nagging part in the back of my brain that wondered if I should even allow him to do this. Was it fair to let him continue to give me all the things he had given me when I had absolutely nothing to offer in return? Nothing except what I could give him in this bed.

"Beau, wait. I—"

I floundered, looking down at him with his hands on the waistband of my sweatpants, ready to tear them off. He searched my face as I tried to think of the words, and somehow he found them before me.

"You're worried I don't want this, aren't you? That I'm just doing you some kind of favor because that's the sort of shit I do?"

Swallowing, I nodded. That was exactly what I was worried about. I didn't want this to be like that.

With a smirk, he shook his head and yanked my pants and underwear off in one go.

"Let's clear something up, then. I have dreams of tasting this pussy again, Collins, so excuse me while I enjoy the fuck out of this."

And with that, Beau started peppering little kisses on my inner thighs, urging them open with the attention from his mouth. There was no way to resist that, his encouraging lips, so I opened for him. He swore before muttering something beneath his breath, something about how wet I was, how wild it drove him, and I was so ridiculously turned on that I didn't even bother thinking about anything other than how much I wanted him to—

His tongue brushed over my clit, and I almost screamed.

Somehow I kept it in, but the groan I made was not in the least bit quiet. And the noise Beau made was one of complete contentment.

He licked harder, taking a long swipe before nudging his tongue inside me and back out before doing it all over again. And another time. And then once more.

"Beau," I whined.

He lifted his gaze while his tongue circled around my clit without actually hitting it. "Yeah?"

"You're teasing me."

"I'm just reacquainting myself with how fucking good you taste." His lips curved. "And I'm waiting to see how badly you want to come."

I opened my legs wider. Bucked my hips higher. "I want it."

He paused, watching me hungrily. His voice was low and strained when he spoke. "Then say please, baby girl."

A groan of frustration ripped out of my throat. "I thought you said I didn't have to beg."

"You don't." Beau shrugged. Flippantly, as if his head wasn't between my legs, lips hovering above my clit. "I just want you to."

"Fuck, Beau." I squirmed. "I want it. Please."

I would have said just about anything, but at least his request was an easy one. Please. There was an ache inside me that only he could soothe right now. Only Beau, and that thought was terrifying.

"That's it." Pleased, Beau nestled his head in my open thighs. He eagerly sucked on my clit, and I threw my head back into the pillows, squeezing my eyes shut with the intensity of the pleasure. Of the craving for more.

Magical things between my legs. That was what he was doing, all without touching me, without using his hands. My mind couldn't help but wander to the last time I felt something this good. Giving in, I unlocked the gates to all the thoughts I'd been trying to push away for months. Hot, sweaty memories rushed in. Beau kissing me on the dance floor. And the elevator. And the hotel room. Beau peeling off my dress and stripping off his shirt. Flushed skin colliding. His hands everywhere, his fingers pumping inside me. Dirty words pressed against my ear. Ragged gasps and dark rooms.

Shit.

The pulsing between my legs grew, and then it tightened with a hot sweetness that made me grab his hair and hold him between my legs just in case he had any thoughts of leaving.

He didn't try, though. Beau groaned between my legs, hurling vibrations through me that were delicious and satisfying. He flicked his tongue exactly where I wanted, and then he kept going and going until I was shaking beneath his mouth. Nearly silent pleas started slipping from my lips, and I rocked up against Beau's face without shame or care.

"Oh my God."

I shattered, falling apart with a tidal wave of emotion and bliss. Beau didn't stop until I pushed him away, and even then, he gave me one more kiss before lifting his head to smile at me and lick his lips.

We looked at each other for a long moment before he raked a hand through his hair and spoke through heavy breaths. "Giving you what you want is my favorite goddamn thing, and don't you forget it."

"I—"

No words. There were no words. I wished I could figure out how to express the way he made me feel.

Beau cocked his head to the side. "You what?"

I shook my head, breathing as heavily as him.

"Heart's racing, huh?" he said, leaning back on his haunches and watching me appreciatively. "Looks like someone craved a little adrenaline after all."

That forced a grin out of me. And words. "Beau, I don't think that an orgasm, even one like that, can be compared to flying down a mountain."

He laughed, and it was peppered with pride. "Let me teach you how to snowboard, and we can test that theory."

"That's a terrible idea," I said before collapsing back on the pile of pillows. I was too spent, too exhausted from the collision of the past and the present. But I only intended to rest for a second, and then it would be my turn to make someone beg.

"I have to get ready to go," Beau announced, ruining all of my plans as I lifted my head to watch him stride to the bathroom door. Right before he turned the knob, he looked back at me. Everything about the moment was suddenly...soft. "You should go back to sleep, Collins."

Sleep? This man just ate me out like I was his last meal, and he wanted me to go back to sleep?

As he opened the bathroom door, he added, "Or I think Ness and lil Lenertz were planning to whip up breakfast this morning. Maybe it's ready."

Ness and lil Lenertz.

I had absolutely no cause to be jealous, but where the hell was my nickname? I supposed I shouldn't be surprised that I didn't have the same level of friendship as he did with Nessa and Madie, but it still made me frown internally.

Beau leaned against the door frame as he paused, eyes roving over me. And then he was gone, shutting himself in the bathroom. The shower turned on, and I fell back into the bed, stunned. Warmth spread through me. I felt spoiled. And satisfied. Except...

Beau definitely hadn't extended the invitation for me to join him in the shower, but that was exactly what I wanted.

He'd acted dismissive, though. And couldn't have been more clear. Our moment was over, and it didn't mean anything beyond the acknowledgment of the undeniable attraction between us. Which we already knew about that, and so now we were moving on again.

We caved to temptation, but it was momentary. That was how Beau was making it seem, anyway.

But I couldn't relate. I didn't want to sleep, and I didn't want breakfast. I wanted to give Beau what he deserved. Even if it was just for today. Because I couldn't think beyond that right now.

My turn to help you, Martin.

Just the thought of it made me squirm in bed again, hot and hungry for more.

Goddamnit.

The shower turned off, and it spurred me out of bed, even though my legs were shaky. Watching Beau come out of the bathroom in a towel and pretending that nothing has happened? No, thanks. Throwing on his flannel and sweatpants again, I scurried out of the room.

And straight into the kitchen where—sure enough—Madie and Nessa were making breakfast with their boyfriends.

My escape was not well-thought-through.

"Good morning!" When they noticed me, I gave a little wave and tried to smooth my hair—which I realized felt seriously dry and frizzy after forgoing my haircare last night. Hiding my face, I shuffled across the kitchen to the room that Beau had assigned me when we first arrived. He'd pointed to it last night before carrying my things there, and now I needed to hide away in it.

Four pairs of eyes followed me as I sucked in a breath and ducked into the bedroom. Sinking against the door, I let my pounding heart drown out everything else while I looked around at the most beautiful bedroom I'd ever stepped into. It was much more feminine than the rest of the house, with a woodsy, floral wallpaper plastered behind the bed on one side of the room and a pillow-lined loft with a rolling ladder leading up to it on the other. I wanted to stay here forever.

Walking over to my luggage next to the bed, I noticed an open shoebox on the floor beside my suitcase.

Tall, fur-lined winter boots.

He'd bought me more boots. A note rested on top.

Rainboots aren't going to cut it here.

Lots of snow in the forecast.

✨

i rewrote this chapter like twelve times

let me know your thoughts 👀

much love friends

xoxo amelie