wordless I brushed my nose against hers to get her attention.

"We don't have a lot of time," I murmured, kissing her softly. "Talk to me."

Collins responded with a low moan as I pumped my fingers inside her, slowly rubbing her clit with my thumb at the same tempo. Her eyelashes fluttered shut in a pleasured sort of way that made my lips turn up.

"I know you can count, baby girl." I slipped one finger out of her pussy, leaving a single digit to curl into her g-spot. When she gasped, my smirk grew. "Do you want just one finger?"

Collins bit down on her lip.

"Two?" I thrust my other finger back in, and she grabbed at my tie again, giving it a tug.

So she wanted to play with ties, huh? Noted.

"Beau," she groaned, a clear plea for more.

She was already edging on an orgasm. I could feel it in the sweet hum of her body, her slight trembles and desperation. As I kept my pace finger-fucking her like a good boy, I nipped at her earlobe before muttering in it.

"What comes after two, Collins?" She sucked in, and I added, "If you want it, you're going to have to answer me."

"Three," she cried, and I didn't hesitate. Another one of my fingers got to feel her hot, tight pussy right before it started clenching. Spasming.

"There you go," I said with a smile. "That's what you wanted, wasn't it?"

—

It was possible that I was a nervous mess. An excited, nervous mess.

Knees weak, palms sweaty, arms heavy. All that Eminem jazz.

Even though I'd been living with Collins for a few months now, the idea of spending the weekend with her—and the rest of our friends—was oddly nerve-wracking.

In our apartment in Oakland, we had things figured out. To some extent. I understood the routine. I knew when to expect her home, knew when I needed to have my guard up and when I could keep it down. I knew that the kitchen and living room were safe and bedrooms were forbidden. Like that fucking apple in the Garden of Eden. And if we took a bite...sin. It felt inevitable if we got too close.

There were rules, and they were working.

But here, at what I liked to call Mammoth Mansion, all of my self-imposed guidelines were out the window. We were going to have to wing it, and for some reason, that terrified me.

Not to mention, flying down a half-pipe suddenly seemed a lot scarier when Collins Bryant was one of the people standing at the end of it, watching.

Why did I invite her here again?

Oh yeah. Because otherwise, Collins would have been alone for all of winter break, and I did not fucking like that.

I arrived at my parents' place a couple days ago. The other times I'd come up to Mammoth Lakes with the team, I stayed at the mountain lodge with them. But this time, I didn't even bother unpacking my stuff there, knowing I would head over here when everyone else showed up.

Not to mention Chelsea had been acting...annoying lately.

There weren't many people who I found annoying. I was the annoying one more often than not, so who was I to judge other people. Like Madie said, I had the habit of running my mouth and poking fun when I should just shut up.

But Chelsea...Chelsea was annoying.

I wasn't competitive by nature. And yeah, that might seem a bit weird considering we were here for a fucking competition, but I just liked to have fun with it. All Chelsea could talk about, though? How good she was. And how much she wanted to destroy UCLA this weekend. Like damn girl, no one cares about your beef with some girl named Cathy from last season. Honestly, I was half-concerned that Chelsea was about to go all Tonya Harding on poor Cathy. And please, keep me the fuck outta that.

Hearing the car door slam outside, I strode to the front of the house and took a deep breath while opening the giant timber door.

Grayson and Nessa piled out of the front seat with Bren and Madie right behind them. And then, finally, Collins' head popped out of the car. A hat with a fluffy white pom on the top was stuffed over her curly hair, and I had not been prepared for how goddamn cute she'd look in that lil winter get-up. A shiver ran through her as she stepped into the snow.

Come on in, cutie. Let's warm you up.

As soon as everyone dragged their shit inside, Nessa unsurprisingly started to hound me about the pile of Christmas presents beneath the tree my moms' decorator resurrected every year.

Yes, we decided that we weren't going to exchange presents.

Yes, I completely ignored that and bought everyone a present anyway.

Grayson pulled some of his magic crap he did with her, though, and soon she was all relaxed and in his arms, sitting on the couch while I got to dole out drinks to everyone else.

Leaning over with a filled glass for Collins, I whispered in her ear. "This is a 2013 Prosecco from a little vineyard outside of Monterey. It's not Pinot, but it does have bubbles. And who doesn't love bubbles?"

She took it from me with a shy glance. "Thank you."

"Thank you for coming. I know it was a long drive."

You don't know it, but we wouldn't be here if not for you.

Despite the smile she gave me, I couldn't help but notice that she seemed to have reverted back into herself. Her eyes kept roving over the house with its beamed ceiling, the baby grand piano sitting in the corner, the towering stone fireplace. The kitchen was designed with a specific chef in mind, and the windows were big enough that you could see the entire snowy mountain.

I supposed it was a little intimidating.

After wrapping one of her arms around herself, Collins took a sip of her drink and followed Bren and Madie to the couch—an oversized sectional that took up most of the living room. She sat down on it gingerly, tucking her feet up beneath her and pulling her sweater down, so it covered her knees.

Cold. She looked cold. And like she felt out of place. Damn.

After flicking the electric fireplace on, I went to collect the presents from beneath the tree, wincing a bit as I bent down to scoop them all up.

I did a few practice runs on the slopes earlier today, and on one of them, I'd caught an edge near the bottom and ended up colliding with the base of a pine tree. Fucking hurt. Cold too, with how my jacket had slid up in the fall. The combination of snow on skin and numbing pain meant I damn near couldn't breathe for a solid minute before my lungs finally got their shit together.

I was fine, though. My side was a bit bruised, but it was nothing that hadn't happened before. It just meant I would be stiffer for the competition tomorrow than I would have liked.

"Before you say anything else, it's just a little something," I said, putting Nessa's present in her lap first. Madie bounced up next to me at the same time, her blonde hair flying as she shoved a Santa hat onto my head, making me smile. I didn't have the white beard or the sleigh, but I sure as hell liked giving people things. Making them happy. Made me feel purposeful in a way.

When Nessa looked uncertain about accepting the present, I added, "I wanted to say thank you for coming up here and watching me compete on the slopes tomorrow. Means a lot, Nessie."

It did. I knew Nessa hadn't been super excited about the idea. She hadn't actually said anything, of course, but I just knew. Snow wasn't really her thing, and it was a long way to go for just a weekend. But she was here, without complaints.

Well, until the whole gift-giving thing.

I gave Collins her present last. She gave me a look that said you didn't have to as she took the wrapped package from me, but I just shrugged.

I did have to. I really did. Honestly, it was the reason why I bought presents for everyone, so it wouldn't be weird when I gave Collins hers.

I saw this paint palette in a crafty store in downtown San Francisco while shopping for my mom's Christmas gift, and I immediately knew I had to get it. The top was made out of wood, like any classic palette, but the bottom had this clear resin layer with pressed flowers in it, and God, I didn't even know how to explain why, but it just screamed Collins' name at me.

Perching on the armrest of the sofa, I felt all the pain in my side vanish as I watched her open the present. She carefully peeled back the wrapping paper, and her lips parted a little as she realized what it was. She didn't say a word, but she did run her fingers over the lines in the wood.

Unable to resist the urge, I crossed the room and sat down next to her, close enough that I could smell her flowery shampoo.

"Look," I said, taking the palette for her and turning it over, eager for her to see the other side.

"Oh," she said, her voice soft and a little awe-filled as she traced the flowers with her fingertips. "It's so pretty, Beau."

Not as fucking pretty as you.

I shrugged. "You left your schedule for next semester sitting in the kitchen, and I noticed you have a painting class on it. I just hope you don't need a model this semester."

She giggled, and I was thankful we were at the point where we could laugh that experience off. Even if we had never really cleared the air about it. I mean, I would if I could figure out how to do it. Hey, sorry, I needed you to leave so I could jack off didn't really seem like it would cut it.

"If I do need a model," she said, "I guess I'll just have to find someone with more stamina."

I laughed. Not because the thought of her replacing me was funny—that was fucking irritating—but because she should know better.

"Come on, Collins," I muttered, ignoring the warning bells in the back of my head. "You know better than to insult my stamina."

Do you remember sleeping that night? Because I definitely don't.

The way her eyes grew wide should have been my first clue that it was coming, but it still took me by surprise when she elbowed me in the side.

In my side.

I jumped—straight-up jumped—into the air as pain exploded through my torso. Some kind of ridiculous sound slipped through my lips, and I was positive, absolutely positive, that I would never live down the mortification of this moment.

Oh, this was karma, wasn't it? This was what I got for bringing up that night. It was taboo, and we didn't talk about it, and this was why. Because pain. Pain ten times worse than the morning when Collins stepped on me next to her bed.

"Oh my god." Collins' hand flew over her mouth, muffling her words. "I'm so sorry."

She was; I could tell. But I was finding it really hard to contort my face into something that would make her believe I was fine.

Which was a problem. Because now she was touching me. Oh my God, she was touching me. Her fingers ran down my side, and it was hard to tell if she was trying to soothe me or inspect the damage, but it was making everything worse. Because it had almost been a year since Collins had touched me, and now my skin was on fire in more ways than one.

"It's nothing," I managed to get out. "It's nothing. I just had a nasty fall this morning during my first practice run. Matched off against a tree."

My words did nothing to discourage Collins. She started to tug up the edge of my shirt, saying, "Maybe you should just switch to skiing instead of boarding. It seems safer and—" She cut off with a gasp as she caught a glimpse of my side, which was admittedly a little gnarly-looking with a purplish bruise and a few cuts from the tree trunk.

When she ran a finger over the bruise, I clenched my teeth together and stared at the ceiling to keep from losing my shit.

"Collins, it's fine."

What was not fine was how she kept touching me. All tender and sweet and concerned. It made my body ache to have her hands all over me again.

"It's just a few scratches," I rasped before trying to pull my shirt down to put an end to this. Somewhere in the back of my mind, I realized that everyone else was staring at us.

"Shut up. No, it isn't." She swatted my hand away, and goddamn, I hadn't seen this bossy side of Collins since—fuck, fuck, fuck. I wanted to scream at my brain to cut it out with the comparisons. "Did you even clean these?"

Clean? Nothing in my brain is clean right now, sweetheart.

"I—I mean, I took a shower, and I—"

"Come on." Sighing, Collins pushed up from the couch. When I didn't immediately follow her, she glared at me over her shoulder. Enough to get me moving even though it hurt like hell and I was scared of whatever she had planned.

I knew this was going to happen. I knew that when we got here, all the rules would go out the window. It had only been an hour, and already I was heading into a small, confined space with Collins Bryant. Was this the sixth circle of hell? Probably.

Sucking it up, I followed her in the bathroom and hoped that I made it through this without kissing her or crying in pain. It was honestly a toss-up between which one would be worse at this point.

Here goes nothing.

✨

just a little wound-tending coming right up

xoxo amelie