Ezra wished he could watch the rest of the game through his fingers. Even though they had been ahead while he was ejected, Valley had caught up to the quickly, even without Caleb on the team. The current score was 2-3, and their coach told Spencer to get back out on the field, glaring at Ezra as he did so. Despite all of the looks he was getting, and he could honestly say he would do it again in a second.

What Caleb had said, about Adrian, that even though he protested at cried he had tried to continue on with it...Ezra still didn't want to think about it. What if it had happened? What if he had not only beaten Adrian, but raped him? What was Adrian thinking?

Why didn't Adrian call him?

That hurt the most.

After everything they had gone through, Adrian hadn't called him when he desperately needed help. Though Ezra couldn't blame him, since he was guilty for breaking up with the boy with little to no explanation only weeks into their amazing relationship, it bothered him that Adrian didn't call. It was like the sophomore thought that he hated him.

But he loved him.

Ezra could feel Adrian's eyes on his face the entire time he sat on that bench, but he didn't dare turn and look back at him. If he did he was afraid he'd be struck with anger once again and have to go do much more to Caleb than break his nose.

Spencer passed the ball to Landon, Landon back to Spencer, and then Spencer calculated his angle and kicked. The ball went through the legs of the goalie. 3-3. The crowd cheered. It was hard for them to get excited again once they watched the school's star player break someone's nose and get kicked out of the game, but now that Spencer was back in, they all back into it, supporting the team.

A Valley Falls kid recovered the ball, running it down the field. He got to the goal and kicked, but Francis easily blocked it and threw the ball to Spencer.

Ezra glanced at the scoreboard, more specifically, the time, and put his head in his hands. There was only about a minute left in the game, and watching it made him feel sick. He closed his eyes, listening to the reaction of the crowd to understand what was happening on the field.

For so long, this game had been all he cared about. He was going to win, as a senior, and the whole school would worship him. Springfield hadn't had a soccer team as good as the one now in a long time, and this was the only game they cared about winning.

He hoped that he hadn't ruined it for the whole school.

If the people on the bleachers behind him cheered, Spring Field had done something good. If the people on the bleachers on the other side of the field cheered, Valley Falls had the ball.

He kept his eyes closed for what felt like a very long time.

On the other side of the field, the crowd went wild. The announcer called the goal in for Valley Falls just as the time ran out on the clock. Ezra grimaced.

He didn't want to sound cocky, but they would have won if he was still in the game. But he wasn't, he had made his choice, Adrian over soccer, and for the first time since he and Adrian had split, he felt good. It was a choice that he'd just have to live with.

Coach began screaming at him, his face red with furry. The team was slowly making their way off of the field to them. Ezra stared blankly ahead, not caring that he was being yelled at, or that all of his team members, even Spencer to some extent, were glaring at him. Ezra didn't care. The words were out of his mouth before he processed them, and then he paused, letting them sink in as everyone around them fell silent.

"I quit". Spencer let out a very loud breath and Ezra focused his eyes on his best friend. "Are you okay with this?"

Spencer bit his lip, looking around at their team mates before dropping his eyes and nodding. "You know how I feel, Ezra".

Ezra stood then and walked away, not bothering to look back at his te- old team as he went.

Adrian called Ezra's name once he was in the parking lot and Ezra turned and watched the smaller boy run to him. "Ezra," Adrian said when he had caught up to him and Ezra took one close look at his face before he was yelling at him.

"What were you thinking, Adrian?!" He yelled and the small boy took a step back.

"I don't-"

"He could have hurt you, Adrian! Seriously hurt you!"

"Why do you even care?" Adrian snapped back and Ezra fisted his hands in his own hair and pulled in frustration.

"I can't help but to care, but I wish I didn't if you were going to be so fucking stupid all of the time!" Adrian blinked in surprise and then scowled at him.

"Ezra". It was Spencer's voice, coming from somewhere, but Ezra didn't bother to look, he was to angry at the boy in front of him to care.

"What were you thinking!? Why were you even with him!? Why did you go home with him!? Why did you let him touch you in the first place?! Why didn't you call me?! Why, Adrian?! Fucking why?!"

It was silent for a long time as Adrian just looked up at him. When he spoke his voice was calm and low and it drove Ezra even more insane. "You don't get to do this".

"Do what?" Ezra demanded and Adrian took a step away from him. It was then that Ezra realized as he had been yelling that he'd been walking forwards until he was nearly on top of the other, towering over him with their height difference. From this distance, he could tell that Adrian didn't smell as he usually did, like strawberry and peaches, but like smoke. He was going to yell at him about that too but Adrian spoke first.

"You don't get to dump me and then get mad at me for trying to forget about you". That hurt. Adrian not only hated him now, but he wanted to forget about him.

"You-" Ezra cleared his throat for a moment, remembering then that he want to try to fix things with Adrian, not ruin them further, "you wanted to forget about me?"

Adrian looked incredibly sad as he looked at him, and then shook his head, turning away from him, about to walk away but freezing as a voice rang out, loud and clear.

"Look what you've done now, Drake".

Ezra looked up. They had attracted quite the crowd, thankfully consisting mostly of soccer players and Francis pushed through the crowd until he was standing next to Spencer. "Leave me alone".

"No," Francis said, stepping forward and Ezra took a step backwards. "It's your fault that we lost, Ezra. You let your emotions take over and you screwed over the rest of us". Ezra rolled his eyes.

"They wouldn't have scored any of those points if our goalie wasn't shit". It was stupid, but a great insult to Fransis. His eyes flashed and Ezra turned back towards Adrian, opening his mouth to speak to him again.

Francis once again interrupted him. "At least I'm not fucking a fifteen year old boy".

Ezra turned quickly, his fist flying forward and slamming into Francis's jaw. The boy went down, but Ezra didn't stay to see if he was okay.

He turned back, ignoring Adrian's look of shock, and Spencer calling his name, and went to his car, unlocking it and climbing in.

***

Ezra didn't enter his house right away when he got there. Instead he pulled into his driveway, behind his parents car, and sat there, looking ahead of him.

His father was going to be very angry at him. Ezra had watched them leave even before the game was over, and the older man had refused to look at him. He could just add his father to the list of people he hurt tonight (physically and emotionally) right behind Caleb, his coach, Adrian, and Francis.

The front door opened and his mother peeked outside. Their eyes met and she gestured for him to come into the house. He held up his hand to say just a minute, but she stood there with the door open, waiting.

Very slowly, he climbed out of the car and went to face the wrath of his father.

At first it wasn't as bad as he thought it would be. The man was sitting on the couch, watching a televised soccer game and eating a dinner that was most likely prepared for him by his wife. He seemed fine, which put Ezra at ease.

He had spoken too soon. The second the sound of the front door closing was heard, the television got switched off and his father was turning on the couch to look at him.

"Son, I-"

"I quit the team," Ezra said quickly, and then his mother gasped loudly from behind him and his father's mouth snapped shut.

The confession hung in the air for a long time and Ezra shifted under the gaze of both of his parents. "You what?"

There was the anger that Ezra had been expecting. "I was having some problems with some of the boys on the team and-"

"Problems with the boys on the team?" His father repeated and Ezra nodded. "Don't throw away your future because of social problems, Ezra. This is more important than that".

"So you'd rather me stay on the team and be miserable than-"

"I'd rather you go to college!" His father yelled and Ezra swallowed. "You're not smart enough, Ezra". He was. He knew it. It was something that Adrian had taught him.

"I'm going to work harder," he promised and his father shook his head.

"That's not good enough".

"Well nothing's good enough for you!" Ezra yelled suddenly. Once again the living room fell quiet. Ezra swallowed loudly. "I only played soccer in the first place because you wanted me too".

"But you love it," his father said, "don't you?"

"I do," Ezra said honestly. He did. "But I found something... someone that I love more, and it was... threatening to Francis so he made me make a choice and I made the wrong one. I need to do this, dad. I'm righting a wrong-"

But his father wasn't listening anymore. He was shaking his head. "You need to go back tomorrow and apologize. To your coach, and to your team, and then to that boy who you hit for no reason-"

"He was taunting me," Ezra explained, as if that justified breaking Caleb's nose. To him it still did, but his father looked disgusted.

"Fix it, Ezra".

Ezra close his eyes and took a deep breath, saying the one word that he never said to his father. "No".

"Go to your room". It was such a ridiculous thing to say. Ezra wasn't in elementary school anymore, he hadn't exactly done anything wrong other than speak his mind, but here he was, being sent to his room.

Even though it was stupid, he went, trudging down the hall and slamming the door behind him. Everything had gone wrong tonight. He had been given a chance to talk to Adrian and he had ruined it by blowing up at him. He had allowed himself to be taunted by both Caleb and Francis, and made both of them pay for it. Eveything was falling apart.

His mother came into the room then and sat on the end of his bed.

"How's dad?" Ezra asked, closing his eyes so he didn't have to look at her face.

"He'll be fine". It really didn't seem like it.

"What do you want, mom?"

"You're a smart boy, Ezra. I hope you know what you're doing". That seemed to be all she wanted to say, because she stood then and walked to his door. When she turned back her eyes were full of tears. Ezra should have kept his closed. "This girl that you're doing this for? She better be worth it".

The one thing Ezra was confident about was that Adrian was. He was more than worth it. Ezra just wished he had realized it sooner.