Mel met us in the store with a serious frown lining her forehead.

"I think I found what you're looking for, but Zach." She paused, faltered. "I don't think it's enough to tie these guys to any crime, though. I've seen cases with far more evidence getting thrown away by a fucked up jury. There's a couple of diary entries in there, but she doesn't mention the guys with names."

I wanted to smack her, not because I didn't believe her, but she could have let us hope until we talked to the police at least. I knew the chances were slim that Zach would even take this to the station if he didn't have our full support.

Zach placed his hands on the counter, leaning forward and dropping his head in defeat. "It was a long shot anyway. Thanks for checking, Mel."

She gave him a sad smile that I doubted he saw. Instead, he turned on his heels and stalked out of the store with me tailing behind.

"Zach," I called out.

He slowed down enough for me to catch up. I thought I would see hurt or disappointment in his eyes, but all I got was that signature chill. Not a good sign. He looked away and continued to walk toward the car.

Not wanting to cause a scene in the middle of the street, I followed and sat down in the front seat as he slammed his door shut. Barely waiting for me to get inside, he started the engine and drove away. He was running, and I didn't know what to do. What could I say?

"At least you got a clean slate," he said, his voice clipped and rough around the edges.

The words hit my gut like nothing else. I closed my eyes and told myself that he was upset and that he had every right to be. If he resented the fact that my problem could be fixed, but not his, then...I wasn't sure. It hurt, but could I blame him?

He stepped harder on the pedal, driving far above the speed limit until he veered the car and pulled into an empty parking lot. He stopped the car and burst into tears, slamming his hands against anything he could find.

I unclasped my seatbelt and practically flung myself on him, catching his arms and pinning them down. "Zach..." I didn't know what to say. "Please." I wanted to say that it was going to be okay, but the simple reassurance was such an empty one. How could I say that it would be okay?

He cried harder, pushing against me with dwindling strength. I hugged him harder, knowing that his ceasing fight was a sign that I was doing the right thing. Tears landed on my neck, soaking me with his frustration and pent up grief. I received them gladly, wanting to take away the pain.

I don't know how long we sat there until his breathing calmed. He eventually pulled me over into his lap despite the lack of space. Leaning back, he let me see his tear stained face. "I'm so fucking tired of this shit."

"I know."

"I want them in jail for what they did, but Mel's right. Rape never gets solved, not when Clara isn't even here to give her statement. Even then, it would be her words against theirs, and they would never admit to a thing. It would have torn her apart all over again."

Bile rose in my throat because his words were far too true.

Something in his eyes changed, and his breathing calmed even further. "I'm gonna study to be a lawyer, and I'll change this shit. Women shouldn't be afraid to report, teenagers shouldn't be afraid of getting abused a second time by a fucking useless jury."

Maybe my smile was out of place, despite how weak it was, but it was nice to hear such conviction in his voice. He saw some kind of purpose, and it was definitely a worthy one.

"I think your sister would be very proud."

He shook his head, but it wasn't to say no, more like a way to let it all go to find a way forward. "Just gotta fix my damn grades then."

"They're not too bad, right?"

"They should be worse. I think the teachers take pity on me or something."

I chuckled at that. "Maybe they like your bad boy looks."

"Maybe they're scared I'll hunt them down if they fail me." His lips warped into a smile, but most of all, his eyes were back to their normal hue.

"Let's work our asses off until graduation, then," I said.

"You'd do that?"

"Yeah. Definitely."

"I want to do something...can we go to my place?" he asked.

"Sure."

I scooted over in the passenger seat again, fastening the seat belt and feeling a weird sense of calm and anticipation which I wouldn't have expected twenty minutes ago. We'd never been in Zach's house, and it seemed like a good sign that he was taking me there.

———

His parents weren't home when we entered which was a good thing because I would have made a strange impression.

"Let's go!"

"Where?" I asked.

"Upstairs..."

I followed him upstairs, looking at the framed photographs on the walls. They showed a happy family of four, but all of them were old. Zach was a cute kid, and Clara had been beautiful in that innocent way only children can be.

"I haven't been up here in a very long time. I moved my bedroom downstairs, transforming the library to my room. Drove Dad nuts, but he relented and helped me get the bed down so I could lose the mattress."

"You've not been up here since then?"

"No. Fuck, this is strange. It's like walking inside a memory."

We stopped in front of the last door on the left and Zach put his hand on the handle. He didn't seem sure, hesitating. I took his hand and squeezed his fingers. That seemed to do the trick, because he opened the door a room that still had posters of bands long gone from the scene.

"Everything's the same," Zach commented, but then he grew still. A photograph of his sister stood in the window next to a vase of white lilies. It looked like a shrine.

"I didn't know," he said, walking up to the picture and taking the frame into his hands. "They've mourned her better. I never even went to her grave after the funeral. I've been so stupid!"

I pulled him into my body, my chest against his back, offering the comfort I could.

"Why didn't I visit her?" He asked. "I should have visited her, I should have told her I still love her..."

"She knows that Zach, even if you didn't visit her."

"How? How could she know that when I've shut her out all these years?"

"Because she's been inside your shell," I said. "You've been locking others out, but not her."

He turned around in my arms, meeting my eyes. I could see the storm of emotions in his, the rage over what had happened, the determination of what he would do and the love for his sister who never got to live her life.

It was all unfair as hell, but we couldn't change the past.

"I hope that Tobias guy doesn't show up again. If he does, I'll probably take it all out on him, and he wouldn't look pretty after." He sounded serious—like he cared about me enough to protect me like he never could protect his sister.

"I don't think he will." I touched a part of one tattoo that was visible on his collarbone. "You look kinda fierce, after all."

He chuckled—a light sound after all the seriousness, a sound to put me at ease. He would be fine. Maybe not today, maybe not tomorrow, but he would take his revenge somehow.

"Those cold eyes of yours will be great as a lawyer, you know," I said before leaning in to give him a kiss.

"You bet they will," he replied against my lips before tugging me out of the room.

I believed him. With enough determination, he could do it, and I was hoping that I could be along for the ride.