A few uneventful days passed after the incident at the locker, or perhaps it shouldn't be called incident, it was merely a bit weird. Zach hadn't told me anything more. If anything he'd grown a bit more distanced again. I would often catch him looking into empty space, lost in thought. I wanted to ask him, but I had promised I wouldn't pry. I just had to trust that my patience would make him open up to me in the end.

We were still seeing each other, and even if he sometimes zoned out, he was turning out to be more than I could ever have hoped for. He had literally crashed into my life and nestled into my entire being. I was very close to falling in love, or at least that was what I thought. I knew the difference between sexual attraction and love, but yeah, he was definitely becoming something more to me than the sexiest guy I'd ever met.

Since Tobias had been at home this weekfor some reason, my thoughts were strangely free of my old tormentor. That also meant that Zach was on my mind 24/7. I smiled at that thought and decided to send him a message. It was Saturday and we hadn't made any plans for once.

#You up for something tonight?#

I watched my phone, waiting for a response. Lovesick teenager...extremely disturbing when you came to think about it. I sighed and put it away. After a few seconds I pulled it up again just to see, just to make sure. No response. I shook my head at myself, put the phone away and went downstairs.

"Hi Dylan, want to go watch a movie with me tonight?" Lily asked when I entered the kitchen.

"You want to watch a movie with your brother? Lil, have you no friends?" I asked. She scowled back, thrusting her tongue out.

"Well yes, we haven't done anything fun in ages. You're just hanging with that boyfriend of yours – you know the silent guy that never talks to anyone other than you... he's pretty scary you know."

"Zach isn't scary, just a little misunderstood."

"Sure..." she said dismissively.

"Hey, this is not the way to make me go to the movies with you, just so you know," I told her, a bit harsher than I'd intended.

She just stared at me, clearly a little shocked. "Dylan, you really care about this guy, don't you?"

The expression in her face, the honesty, the seriousness, made me back down instantly.

"Yeah, I think I do."

"I'm so happy for you Dylan, I think it's the first time I've heard you defend someone like that. Well, at least since...you know."

"So, movies," I interrupted, "what did you have in mind?"

I realized that I actually had neglected her for quite a while, and I didn't want to become that guy who just sat around waiting for a phone call or a message.

"Well, I have no idea, why don't we just go there and you we can pick the first one we find interesting."

"You'll buy the popcorn though," I said, shooting her a playful glare.

"Of course big brother, I'm the girl after all, I should definitely pay to prove that we're not completely incapable."

"Always the feminist sis, and an awesome one at that," I said, ruffling her hair – just as I knew she wanted me to...not!

-----

We went to the movies, and for good measure I refused to bring my phone. I didn't want to pine anymore tonight, and I didn't want to ruin this with Lily. If Mom needed us she could call Lily.

Lily did pay for the popcorn, and as the good brother I was, I let her decide the movie. Of course, I would probably have retracted that freedom if she chose something like Twilight – but she didn't. She wasn't one of those girls – however popular she was in school.

It turned out to be a really good movie about a girl who lived to defend her little brother in an apocalypse world, and it was suspenseful enough to keep my thoughts away from Zach--away from the lack of response. However, as soon as we excited the theatre my insides began to crawl with the need to get back home to my phone. I should have brought it along.

I drove way too fast, to the point where Lily actually shrieked when we got too close to a car in front of us. After that, I slowed down a bit, but my body was still itching. I just had this odd feeling.

The first thing I saw when I got home was Zach's car, and him pacing in front of our door. The sight made my stomach flutter until I saw the look on his face.

I rushed out of the car and faced the storm that was Zach.

"Why didn't you pick up your phone, do you know how worried I've been..." he yelled. I stood there, completely dumbfounded by the aggression. Why was he angry? The cold stare in his eyes blurred into worried, and lastly to something that looked like relief.

I wrapped my arms around him, and felt him slowly relax in my arms.

"I'm sorry, I forgot my phone at home."

He buried himself deeper into my neck, breathing hard.

"Hey, what's the matter?" I asked.

"I thought...I thought... no it doesn't matter now."

"Tell me Zach, please!"

"I thought they had done something to you."

"Who? Those guys?"

"Yeah," he said, defeated.

"Are you going to tell me?" I asked, tentatively. I needed to know. I couldn't take not knowing anymore. Yet, I didn't want to pressure him. I knew how hard it was for him to talk openly about himself, and if our conversation last week had been an indication – then I knew that this subject was at the core of everything.

"Let's get inside first," he replied, his voice hollow and strained.

I took his hand, clutched it tight and started for the door. I guided him up the stairs and into my room. We'd been here a lot during the last week, but this time it felt completely different. No sexual tension whatsoever. Instead it felt as if the air inside was stale, as if the darkness was more complete, as if the shadows lingered even if I turned on the light.

I sat down on the bed, pulling down Zach with me. He immediately hid his face in his hands, slumping his shoulders. We sat there for a while, silently. I wanted to say something but I honestly didn't know what.

"Those guys raped my sister."

The words crashed into me, making me cold from inside, my mind frozen.

I didn't know what to respond.

"I didn't know you had a sister..." I finally stuttered.

"She killed herself."

The world seemed to stop. I just sat there, blinking - my dark heartbeat the only think marking the passage of time. I still held my hand on his back, but I knew it wasn't enough. Yet I was afraid to touch him, afraid because he seemed so fragile. Finally, I pulled him closer, ignoring the confusion in my mind. I had to comfort him somehow. I wrapped my arms around him, pressing him into my body.

"I'm so sorry..." I said, feeling completely helpless.

"It hurts," he sobbed. "It fucking hurts so much..."

"I know...it's okay."

"Why? Why can't they just leave me alone? I fucking hate them... I hate knowing that they did that to her. I hate seeing the faces she saw in her nightmares, the ones which drove her to kill herself," he yelled, and it was a heart-breaking sound.

"It's not okay," he continued. "It's not okay. They should be behind fucking bars, not outside, threatening you, soiling the memory of my sister. It's disgusting. It's fucked up!"

"Yes it is..." I still didn't know what to say, but I had to say something, right?

He was thrashing around in my arms, clearly too upset to remain still.

"I won't let them get to you!" he growled.

That's when it dawned on me. He was terrified of what they would do, that I would end up like his sister, that I would kill myself – that he would lose me like he lost her. Of course I wasn't comparable to his sister, but thinking about going through the same thing again – no wonder he was stressed out that he couldn't reach me before.

"I'm sorry that you couldn't get a hold of me Zach. I promise to have my phone available all the time. OK?"

He relaxed a little, or rather it felt like as if was giving up the struggle.

"Please, can you just fuck this away?" he pleaded, and I didn't know what to respond. "Please Dylan, I need you!" he continued, and just then I could understand what he wanted, why he would want that.

"Of course babe, I'm here and I'm not going anywhere. Just relax!" I finished before pressing a raging kiss against his soft lips. I would give him what he wanted. "I'll make you feel good."