Zach pulled my back into his chest, and I tensed when he snuggled into my neck. His breaths unbearably warm, reminding me of that moment we had in the storage room. The memory screamed at me, telling me that I was making the same mistake again. Then I shoved the thought away, focusing on what I'd seen in his eyes: vulnerability, pleading. However, I couldn't really quiet the conflict inside of me. It felt strange—he was drunk, so, was this him? Was he showing me a truer side of himself? Did he really want this? What would he say in the morning? The questions piled on top of each other and swirled around in my confused mind, making less and less sense. In the end, I couldn't let go of the feeling that I was doing something wrong.

His hand started to move again: touching me, making my skin tingle with apprehension.

I wanted this, I wanted it so fucking bad—but not like this. I couldn't let him do this to me, nor to himself. I didn't want him to look at me tomorrow and hating me for bringing him home to my bed. He hadn't made the choice, he had been fucking unconscious! Panic started to tighten its clutches around me. Would he hate me?

I struggled free for the second time and ran into the bathroom. I placed myself in the shower, letting the cold tendrils of water rid me of the evidence of my response to his touch, rid me of emotions. Finally, I managed to calm down, but not before dashing my head into the wall a couple of times, telling myself what a fool I was: a fool for caring.

In the end I got out, grabbed a towel and went back into my room, ready to face him like I would face any other drunken guy lying in my bed after a bout of casual fooling around—with the difference that I would lie on top of the cover, giving him space. But he wasn't there. The bed was empty, the room was empty—I was empty. Was it my fault?

———

Throughout Sunday, I did my best to forget everything about Zach. I imagined that it hadn't really happened. That wasn't too difficult as all the things that did happen had been really strange. It didn't help remove the uneasy lump in my stomach, but I forced myself to believe that it had to do with something else, food poisoning perhaps.

In the afternoon, I went around Seb's house, picking him up to bribe him into showing me around town. I know Tyra had volunteered but for the moment I didn't want her probing looks. I didn't want her questions or her insinuations that she knew something that she wasn't even going to tell me. I avoided her today because I didn't want to be pissed at her. She had every right to keep her silent about someone else's secrets, but today just wasn't the day.

Seb didn't ask. I realized that he was great in that way. He just waited for me to tell him what happened. I knew from his reassuring smiles that he knew that things hadn't really worked out the way I wanted them too. His silent support was precisely what I needed.

He took me to an arcade, which I would normally shun, but on a day like this it was perfect. We played, laughed, and the little bugger didn't let me win a single game when we played against each other.

When I couldn't take another defeat we went into a café, ordering two large ice creams. We sat by the window so that we could gaze out over the people that strolled outside. It was a time-consuming distraction, especially when Seb started to narrate what some of them were thinking about as they walked. I cracked up several times, and after a while I didn't seem to be able to stop laughing.

"Can I get you anything else?"

We both startled as the waiter's voice brought us out of our imaginary world. The guy seemed to hide a smile, and I wondered how much he had heard.

"No, we're fine," I answered, but the guy didn't look at me. He looked at Sebastian, and he was very obvious about it. I rolled my eyes but smiled towards Seb who didn't seem to catch on what was happening. He just looked at me, the question written all over his face. His usual skill of perception obviously lost at the moment. Since the waiter still only had eyes for Seb I managed to give him a look, telling him that the waiter was checking him out. He finally seemed to get the point, resulting in a deep red blush. I'd never seen anything cuter in my life.

I hadn't really known if Seb was gay, bi or straight. He hadn't told me, and I hadn't asked. Per usual I'd thought that he was gay as I usually managed to find friends who were, but this was definitely a confirmation. Seeing as how he was completely unable to look at the guy after my revelation, I took it upon myself to act wingman.

"You know what, I think I've changed my mind. I'd like a cup of coffee and preferably with something to write on, and perhaps a pen."

The waiter also turned a bit red at my words and didn't seem to have it in him to answer me. He even bit his lip when looking back at Seb for a last time before walking away to take care of our order.

"Picked up by the waiter, not bad Seb," I smirked, making him turn a darker shade of red. Poor guy. He did flash on of those tender smiles, however, so I didn't feel too bad. "I hope you plan on giving him your number." I gave him a wink, and his blush intensified

"What?" he answered, sounding completely terrified and innocent.

"Why do you think I asked for pen and paper?"

"B-but," he said, but didn't get further before a cup of coffee landed on our table, then a piece of paper and a pen. I noted that there was something scribbled on there already, and I smiled. The cheeky sod had already written his number there. Clever guy!

When Seb saw the number, he did something I'd never thought him capable of. He ripped the piece of paper in half, folded the half with the waiter's number and put it in his pocket before writing down his own on the other half. Then he looked the guy directly in the eyes and smiled with his entire face.

"Thanks!" he said, and the waiter smiled back with a grin so wide I thought it would split his face.

"I'm Kaiden, by the way," the waiter said, shifting his weight from one foot to the other while he waited for a response.

"I'm Sebastian, and this is Dylan," Seb replied, looking over at me before turning his head back to stare some more.

"Hi," Kaiden said as he looked at me for a brief moment, showing off his very honest eyes. Then he returned them to Seb. "Hope to see you around," he continued, smiled some more and then headed off to the work after receiving a cute little nod from Seb.

"That was awesome Seb," I said, genuinely amazed how he had managed to turn from such a shy guy to this in such a short amount of time. All thoughts of Zach were gone in that moment, banished by the joy I felt at seeing Seb smile like that.

Seb looked almost dazed for a while, then all of a sudden he looked mortified and let his face fall down onto the table.

"Oh my God, what have I done?" he asked, mostly to himself.

I laughed a little, seeing how bothered he was, but I realized that I wasn't helping.

"You rock, Seb. Don't worry. I'm sure he'll send you a text later tonight. He's obviously interested."

"I'm such a wimp," he said, his forehead still on the table.

"You're kidding me, right?"

"No..." he replied, sounding very determined.

"Seb, you just hooked up with a really cute guy and he gave you his number, his name and a smile to make anyone swoon. So why exactly are your head on the table right now?" I asked playfully, trying to cheer him up.

"What's happening to me? No one has ever done that before, what if he's a psycho or something?" He still sounded like he was close to panic, and I realized that I had a shocked, hormonal, slightly insecure teenager on my hands.

"Hey, Seb, look at me."

He looked up, and I saw his eyes filled with so much emotion that I just wanted to cuddle him up. "Don't worry so much Seb, this is a good thing, right?"

He took a deep breath, closed his eyes and let it out. "Yeah, it's a good thing," he finally stuttered.

"Good, because I think it's fantastic, and purely for selfish reasons. This day turned out a hell of a lot nicer because of it."

"So, are you going to tell me what happened?" he asked suddenly, turning the attention away from himself.

"I'm not sure I'm ready yet man. I'm sorry," I said, meaning every single word.

"It's okay, tell me when you're up for it."

"I will, I promise."

———

After a restless sleep, worried about what Monday would bring, the dreaded day arrived. I wasn't sure how I would react upon seeing Zach. This weekend had changed so much. Had this been Thursday last week, I would have sent him some sarcastic comments during art class. I would have made sure that he noticed me. Now, all I wanted was to hide. I didn't know if I had done the right thing Saturday night. Had he disappeared because he wanted to get out, or had he ran away because I fled from him twice? Running away from his embrace.

The answer came during lunch.

I had taken ten steps inside the cafeteria when I saw a girl approach Zach, a hungry smile latched on her face. My body jolted at the sight of him, and it basically turned inside out as she sat down in his lap, claiming him as hers. This time I recognized her. It was the same girl he had been kissing when we interrupted them Saturday afternoon. Zach did nothing to remove her, but I noticed again that he did nothing to encourage her either. His stone face was back once more. I wanted to feel nothing, but that wasn't really working.

"Hey, Kaiden texted me yesterday!"

Seb's enthusiastic voice almost made me drop the food off my tray. I hadn't seen him come up behind me. I turned around and grinned, genuinely happy for him.

"What did I tell you?" I replied, making sure to remind him of his moments of doubts yesterday. He blushed a little, but remained extremely happy. "Have you told Tyra?" I asked, and he nodded.

"She forced me to tell her every little detail, I didn't even realize that I remembered so much myself." He let out a soft laughter.

"Cool, let's get away from here," I said.

Seb raised an eyebrow and shot a look at Zach across the cafeteria. When he looked at me again his eyes were filled with pity—pity that I didn't really want.

"I think you should listen to Tyra," he said, his voice soft and serious again.

"Avoid him? Yeah, don't worry. I will." I thought about the girl sitting in his lap, and then all the other girls I'd seen him with. I should be grateful that he had left me Saturday night. Otherwise, I would be like one of those girls: a notch on the bedpost, or whatever it was he was doing. He clearly didn't care, that much was certain.