"I feel small but so are stars from a distance"

Song-stay; Rhianna

"Sweet cheeks?!" Miles knocks on my doorway and walks through my open door. I sit on my floor, typing away on a essay for Sara's class.

"Hey sugar" I smile up at him. He holds his laptop in his hands as he sits next to me.

"How's the essay going?" He asks me, opening his computer. I hit my head on the side of my bed and groan. "That good huh?"

"Read it, all the words are in my brain but they won't come out." I huff, handing him my laptop. He spends a few minutes reading the whole thing before handing it back.

"It's great Mar!" He beams at me.

"Are you just saying that because you're my boyfriend?" I grin, extending my legs and setting my laptop in my lap.

"No, it's actually really good so far. I don't know what you're stressing about." He shrugs while grabbing his own computer.

"Thanks"

We continue working on our essays with some music playing in the background from my stereo. The house was unusually quiet which meant no one was home because it was never quiet.

After a few minutes I slam my laptop shut and set in on the floor.

"We've been working on this forever." I whine.

"It's been like 10 minutes." He says plainly, not tearing his eyes away from his essay.

"Well I need a break."

"The essays due tomorrow."

"Please" I make my eyes as big and innocent as I can while also poking my bottom lip out. He studies me for a minute, glancing at his computer anxiously before shutting it.

"A few minutes and then back to work." He demands, pointing a finger at me.

"Deal"

We end up on the couch, watching friends. My plan worked and I distracted him enough to forget about the essay.

"I need to pee!" I announce, hopping up from the couch.

"Congratulations?" He says slowly, peering up at me.

"I'll be right back"

I quickly use the bathroom and wash my hands. When I'm about to dry them, I hear Miles yell. "Marlee! You got a text!"

My heart drops, I hurriedly open the door and run down the hall but it's too late. Miles dark complexion was paled and his eyes were wide.

"Who's this?" He asks, I grab my phone and read the message.

I swallow harshly, looking up at him slowly.

"Is that who I think it is?"

I want to lie and say no or that is was a prank. I want to say anything but instead I stay frozen. Miles eyes burn holes into my head. He had a mix of a worried and angry look on his face.

"How long has he been texting you?" He asks, grabbing my hand and pulling me to the couch where we sit down.

"A few weeks" my voice sounds small and frail.

"Why didn't you tell anyone?" I finally meet his eyes and completely crumble.

I tell him the entire thing, all from the first time seeing him and the first text. I tell him about all the calls and text from the past month.

"But you can't tell anyone!" I say at the end, shaking my head.

"Marlee, you have to tell someone. Maybe they can help." He urges, placing a hand on my knee.

"No, it's not a big deal." I protest.

"Marlee" he says softly, his caring eyes pouring into me.

"Please" my voice cracks and I bite back tears. He runs a hand down his face.

"Okay, but you have to tell me everything that happens." He tells me. I nod and send him a tight lipped smile. "And if this keeps going on or gets worse then you have to tell someone."

"Yeah" I say softly. He wraps an arm around me and hugs me tightly.

"Now, we need to finish this essay." He stands up, sending me a harsh look.

"Ugh, fine."

Thanksgiving break was finally here. I didn't think I was going to survive the last few days of school but I did. I told Miles every time he would text, call or drive past the house.

He would always urge me to tell someone but he never pushed me too far. All of my friends were trying to act normal around me but I could tell they were worried.

I heard mom and Sara whispering the other night at dinner. My name was brought up multiple times but when I walked in they immediately started talking about something else.

The first day of break the entire group went on a hike. It was fun and I found myself forgetting about Evan a few times. Asher and Grayson whined the entire time and we all made fun of them.

That night we all ended up in my living room watching random movies and passing out from exhaustion. The boys kicked the entire night and Addie slept talked.

I haven't slept for more than 2 hours in weeks and last night it was even less. I think Theo punched me in the face in his sleep at least 30 times. Waking up, my brain felt foggy.

I hear a knock on the door and slowly step over everyone's sleeping bodies. When I open the door, I'm swept into a hug.

"There's my least favorite cousin!" Caleb exclaims, squeezing the life out of me.

"Gross, you're here" I mutter as he lets go. We both smile but Caleb's shoved out of the way and I'm met with uncle James grinning face.

"I missed you kid." He ruffles my hair and hugs me.

Uncle James in my dads brother but he's nothing like him. He's caring and raised Caleb all by himself after Calebs mom left them. We only see them on holidays and special occasions due to them living in London.

Uncle James is the CEO of a big company up there and even offered to fly us up there a few times but mom always declined due to baseball or other things.

"I missed you too." I say, taking a step backwards. Caleb is tall and muscularly built due to rugby, which is what they play in the UK. Uncle James looks identical to Caleb besides different skin tones. He's a few years older than mom and was never close with my dad but him and mom have always been close.

"I'm hungry, where's the food?" Caleb pushes into the house and goes straight to the kitchen.

He's more of Theo's twin than I am.

Uncle James goes outside to get their bags so I follow Caleb into the kitchen. His accent was pretty heavy since he never lived in the states unlike James. He grabs a bag of mini donuts and stuffs his face.

"Do they not have food in London?" I retort, hopping onto the counter.

"They do but I refuse to eat the airport food, it gives me the shits." He mumbles, white donut power covers his face.

"Did not need to know that."

"So, how have you been little Cuz?" I cringe at his horrible nick name.

"First of all, don't call me that." I demand earning a hurt look from him "secondly, I've been good."

"Marlee, you are the worse liar ever. What's going on?" He pries while eating another donut.

"I'm not that bad at lying." I grumble, kicking my feet.

"Yeah you are." Uncle James snorts, walking into the kitchen "one time when you were 8 during Christmas all of you kids were messing around and broke a vase. One look to you and you spilled the whole story."

"You know what? I revoke my 'I miss you'. Go back to London." I wave both of them off.

"Sorry Mar, you're stuck with us until Sunday." Caleb grins, wrapping an arm around me.

I send him an unamused look and say "lucky me"

When everyone woke up they all said high to uncle James and Caleb before heading to their own houses. Cam, Caleb and Theo all went to the store to pick up some things that Sara and mom forgot to get. James and Dave sat drinking beers while the moms prepared dinner.

I shut myself in my room with Ella. The best thing about her being a baby is she couldn't tell when I was lying which meant I got to go a while without someone asking me what's wrong or sending me a concerned look.

The smell of turkey and sweet potatoes drifted to my room. My stomach rumbled so I grab Ella and left my room. "Let's go steal some food, what do you say Ella Bella?"

She nods and giggles, squirming out of my hands and waddling to the kitchen. I follow close behind her and walk in to be met with lots of laughter from the 4 adults.

"There you are Marlee" mom smiles up at me. She was wearing a matching apron with Sara and had flour all over her face "wanna help make the pies?"

I nod and get to cooking. Pies are the only things I can cook without burning or messing them up. I listen in on their conversation about random things and stories from their life. It was a good distraction until my phone buzzed in my pocket.

"I need to get ready" I tell them, brushing off my hands.

"Dinner should be ready in a couple hours" Sara says, mixing stuffing in a bowl. Nodding, I make my way back to my room. When I check my phone I see an attached image to a blocked number.

I slowly click on it. The picture was of the boys at the store, they were racing with the carts and laughing. Connor and Grayson stood on one, almost falling.

I shut my phone off and threw it onto my bed. Shaking all the anxiety out of my chest, I head to my closet. I put on a black, plaid mini skirt matched with a red turtleneck sweater. Since we weren't leaving the house I opted not to wear shoes.

I fixed my curls to make them look more put together and less like mother gothel. I did my regular makeup with a bit of red eyeshadow for the occasion.

After that, I sat in my room holding a pencil between my fingers. I wanted to draw or paint but I couldn't. It's always been my escape but now it was as if it was impossible.

I'm lost in thought when my door creeks open. Caleb walks in, dressed in a fancy outfit for dinner. "Foods ready loser"

"You know, I haven't seen you in months. You could at least be a little nicer." I say, throwing down my sketch pad.

"I have to make up for all the teasing I missed out on when I'm halfway across the world." He tells me "cousins duty." He salutes me as I stand up.

"God, you are so weird and too much like Theo. It's scary." I shudder, fixing my skirt.

"That's just because we're the main characters of the family."

"Whatever, let's eat." I say, pushing him out of my room.

"You don't have to tell me twice"

The living room was completely different from a couple hours ago. The couches were pushed back and a large folding table sat in the middle. A thanksgiving place mat laid on top of it along with tons of food.

Everyone was taking their seats so I did the same. I sat between Caleb and Cameron. Dave and James sat across from us next to mom and Sara. Connor and Grayson sat at one in and Theo sat on the other side of Caleb.

Theo reaches for the food but his hand is slapped away by mom. "We have to give thanks first"

"Mom" he whines, gazing dreamily at the turkey.

"We do this every year, you think you'd remember by now." Grayson comments, fixing his white dress shirt.

"When Theo sees food his brain shuts off." I smirk at him as he pouts.

"Enough with the bickering and say thanks, I'm damn hungry." Uncle James says.

"Okay, I'm thankful for you guys." Mom smiles sweetly at us.

"I'm thankful for my lovely kids, and that means all of you." Sara says, patting Connors hand.

"Well I'm thankful for beer and football." Dave announces. Uncle James high fives him and the moms scold him. "And my beautiful wife."

"Mhm"

"I'm thankful for the chance to be able to spend the holidays with you all." Uncle James nods before nudging Grayson who was having a staring contest with the sweet potatoes.

"I'm thankful for video games and Pringle."

"Me too!" Connor agrees. Everyone looks to Theo who finally quits his pouting.

"Baseball. Oh and pop tarts!"

"Rugby and the hot girls at my school." Caleb grins at Theo and they fist bump.

"Gross."

"Well, I'm thankful for my family and friends. Also baseball and my parents." Cameron was wearing a white dress shirt with the collar slightly unbuttoned. He had a single gold chain and his hair was more tame the usual.

"Thank you for actually taking this seriously." Mom looks to the other boys who all shrink under her gaze.

"Marlee?"

"Oh" I look up and think for a minute "sweet tea"

"Surprise surprise." Uncle James shakes his head "it's been the same since you were 3 years old"

"Can we eat now?" Theo begs, when Sara nods everyone basically attacks the food. While eating the table is filled with multiple different conversations.

Work, school, football, past thanksgiving story's. I talk some while eating my food. I rack my brain for what I'm thankful for.

My family and friends of course, art, tea, cookies. But my eyes keep landing on Cam. His smile was wide as he talked to Caleb and Theo.

I'm thankful for Cameron.