《The Coldest Summer:Book 1 (BWWM)✓》Fifty-one
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Jeremy glowers when he sees me but his face softens instantly.
"What do you want, Kira? I don't think you came here to see how I'm doing, as if you're not the one who put me here. That would be so touching." He laughs annoyingly.
"Right. I had no intention to see you ever again so don't even try to flatter yourself," I reply crossly.
We stare at each other for a short while until we sit down.
"You still haven't changed a bit, Kira Jones." He smirks, reclining back in his chair like a crown prince on the throne. His bored gaze stays on me. He then sighs deeply, placing his cuffed hands on the table to face me closely. "I really liked you. I swear I did. There's something about you that I can't seem to find anywhere else," he says in a very calm tone of voice, his eyes sparkling as a tiny smile crosses his lips.
"Oh, what a grand way of expressing your liking, huh? Well, I didn't. And even if I had a tiny bit of consideration for you, it all died when you resorted to such lowly and cowardly tricks!" I snarl at him, hardly paying attention to the guard glaring at us.
His jaw constricts, his face taking a wounded turn. "Did you even have that tiny bit of consideration as you say? Did you even see me as a human being? Because no one sees me as one. You all think I'm a beast with no feelings! That I'm not capable of loving anyone!" He grits his teeth and color vanishes on his face.
I swallow tightly, startled by his outburst.
"What's really the problem with you, Jeremy? What makes you think that people around you don't care about you, while you're the one who pushes them away with your behavior?" I nearly yell, for he constantly blames others.
His family, his peers, he simply finds no comfort in anyone close to him. He sees them as enemies and I never understood why. Well, I'm not sure if I'm here to understand the psychology of my assailant or not, but he surely looks pitiful to me.
"You're just like everyone else, Kira, so stop pretending like you care!" he snaps, quite irritated as though I've wronged him terribly. "You're just like all of them! I thought you were different! I thought you'd understand me!" He's almost in tears and panic strikes through his darkened eyes.
No, this guy is not okay.
"I did like the guy I saved from the swimming pool!" I snap back. "Yes, the prankster who laughed so hard at my baffled face when I learned it was just a silly prank to draw my attention—I did like him. The guy who sat for two hours watching me teach the kids how to swim, and even offered to help, that's the guy I liked. You were wonderful, Jeremy. If I didn't know your true colors, I could've said you were simply amazing. I could laugh hearing you singing out loud in that messy voice and say he's great."
"Kira . . ." He stammers, surprised, if not taken aback. His jaw flexes in a fleeting moment, and I guess some kind of remorse washes over him.
"But then, all of a sudden, you started to show up with different girls each new day, and arrogantly showed what an alpha you are." Recalling the absurdity, I let out a bitter smile. "So I thought to myself, is he really the one I want? And my answer was no, you're not the one. What? Would you like me to go on telling you why I stopped giving the fuck about you?"
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"I did that because I didn't want to fall for you!" he snaps angrily, nearly yanking my neck if he weren't strained with handcuffs. But then he sighs and his anger seems to simmer a bit. "Or maybe, I just wanted more of your attention. I don't know. I thought you were special. The way you spoke to those kids, the way you handled them, how you smiled at them, at me . . . I felt like you were an angel sent to save me. I thought that you're the one, Kira, just one person in the world who can save me from myself."
"You can't be serious!" I don't know what to say as I'm not sure whether I should be angry at him or feel sorry for him for being detached to reality.
"It's all in the past now, right? I'm here, handcuffed"—he lifts his hands to put it vivid—"so it shouldn't matter to you as it's exactly what you wanted all this time." His face softens as he takes another sigh, a completely different turn from the guy who's been shouting a while ago.
"Right. It's in the past and that's why I'm here right now to put an end to it," I tell him frankly, for I'm ready to forget those days, and mostly that dreadful night and move on with my life. I want him and his family away from me. "Your brother came to me and said you're sick. He said that—"
"What?" Jeremy thunders and his composure shifts again like a stirred bucket of dirty water. "He came to you! Does that mean you're here because of that? Because you pity me? Is that it?" He looks more agitated than before.
My eyes squint, confused.
"He begged me to drop the charges because you have to be treated! Yeah, that you may die if you don't get the surgery on time and blah blah blah. Honestly, I don't believe it! For all I know you rich folks can do just anything to get away with your shit! So why should I do as he says, huh? Under what ground should I set free the guy who hurts me whenever he gets the chance?" My anger resumes and I lose my composure again.
"You don't have to," Jeremy tells me gently. "As you said, I'm already a living corpse. Just get the hell out of here, and go see your boyfriend! Isn't he the one making it impossible for me to get out of here?"
Huh? Is it true that Liam could've possibly tightened the strings here? I can't contain my curiosity
"Stop pretending like you care, Kira, because I know you hate me and I couldn't care less. I've never been anyone's love anyway so I'm not surprised that you and everyone else hate me." He sounds like a person who has no hope left and it's a bit alarming. "Guards! We are done here!" he yells as he gets up.
"Yes, I hate you," I reply, and he halts, his fists clenched tightly. "I hate you more than you could've possibly imagined. But I'm not a monster, Jeremy." My voice gets calmer and I'm sure that I pity him.
Silence settles as we are both staring onto one another.
"You're expecting me to be thankful, is that it?" he asks arrogantly. "You're angry with me, so why are you doing this?" He smirks.
Because I'm stupid! That's it.
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"I could stay angry at you forever, but what's the point? I don't want to live my life with bitterness," I reply candidly.
"You're impossible." Jeremy laughs in wonder as he turns around, his head shaken to the sides. "What are you, damn it? Mother Teresa? A saint?"
"I'm neither. And I'm not going to drop the charges against you, Jeremy, so don't rejoice yet. I'm simply going to explain what really happened as I strongly believe that you're sick in the head and you need help before you hurt another person in or out of these walls! You know what I'm talking about, don't you?" I ask him, because now I'm convinced that he's truly insane.
Maybe Jonathan wasn't lying about the damn Bipolar story.
"Fuck!" he groans loudly. "I'm not crazy, Kira! I came to apologize to you and nothing more! But you also treat me like crazy now, don't you?"
"We're all crazy. Just . . . some people become more controlled by the insanity and so they need help. You and I, from this day forward, are total strangers so I don't expect to ever see you again, Jeremy. If you truly want my forgiveness for what happened that evening, then stay away from me! Don't ever show yourself in front of me. Goodbye." I grab my bag and walk away.
"Kira, wait," Jeremy utters desperately, but I'm already getting out. "Kira!" he shouts.
About thirty minutes later I step out of the precinct. Sergeant Connor asked why I decided to renew my statement and my answer was as frank as possible. I simply explained what happened from the moment Jeremy walked and every thing we talked about.
If that can set him free then so be it. I'll let the law decide where he truly belongs.
Sam is leaning slightly on Jonathan's car, her cellphone touching the tip of her fingers repeatedly. I take my time contemplating her profile. Messy blonde hair, wearing leggings and a T-shirt with a sweater hanging around her waist. The moment she sees me her face darkens.
How did we turn out to be like this? I seriously wonder.
Taking a courageous breath, I walk towards her so as to say what I have in mind. We're now alone, for Jonathan and Traven are still inside doing whatever is in their interest. Sam arches a wry eyebrow at me and here goes nothing.
"Oh, you've finally decided to stop being selfish and think of others, huh? I'm glad you've chosen a humanitarian side that you love so much," she says with an intended sarcasm.
"Maybe. But this is the last time I'll let you win, Sam," I answer.
"Excuse me?" She snorts.
"I always let you get away with everything. Do you know why?" I ask painfully, and she holds her breath while fixing her curious eyes more intently. I smile and say, "It's because I loved and cared for you so blindly. I've never, ever, put myself first before you. Never, Sam. But the very first time I tried, you turned us into this!"
"Liar!" Sam snaps, scooping her face towards mine. "That's what you are. If you cared about me you wouldn't have betrayed me like that! You wouldn't even think of doing that!"
"I did not betray you!" I snap back.
"You didn't?" She smirks haughtily.
"No. My only mistake is not telling you about my feelings for him sooner. That's the only mistake I regret!" I remark, refusing to be blamed for everything.
Moving closer, Sam says, "Until the end, you're still shameless. You still think what you did is nothing. You still believe you weren't wrong at all by stabbing me in the back!" Fresh anger and grudge flash through her eyes.
Oh God! I'm really getting tired of explaining myself.
"If Liam had feelings for you, I swear I wouldn't have entertained mine even for a second. But that wasn't the case, Sam. You two had nothing going on, so why are you blaming me for that? Do you think I'm the reason why he didn't choose? " I ask gently.
"So now you think you're better than me?" She gets even madder.
I'm not sure where this is going as I'm so stressed already.
So to put it mildly, I simply tell her, "Grow up, Samantha! The world doesn't revolve around you, and the sooner you realize it the better. I'm in no competition with anyone and you should know that better than anyone in this world. But if that's what you are thinking, then I'm afraid I can't do anything about it. You're completely free to express your opinions no matter how deluded you are, but it doesn't mean they are valid."
"How dare you—" She raises her hand but I catch it midair this time.
"I told you I won't let you win again," I seethe, hurt by the hatred she has for me as if I stole a husband from her. Responsively, her cheeks puff with anger and I hold her grip steadfastly in the air. "I wish there's something I can do to rectify our situation, but I'm sure there isn't. Our scores are settled now. I owe you nothing from this moment because I've done what you wanted me to do, as hard as it was."
"Kira. Sam?" A male voice interrupts and it's how I set Sam's wrist free.
As I turn around I see Jonathan and a smart looking man wearing a black suit. Probably a lawyer as he's been with them for a while now. Without a word I take my leave.
I haul the first taxi I see. Now I remember Liam and my heart flips. God, I'm fucked. I check my phone breezily and the number of missed calls from him widens my eyes. Six? I'm done for. I waste no second calling him back, knowing fully well that I'm already in deep shit.
"Kira. Where are you?" A pissed voice asks flatly.
"Um, on my way to the hotel. Can we please talk in person? I have something to say," I breathe.
"Go straight to your place," Liam answers crisply, "I left the hotel already."
Shit! He's mad. I can feel it.
"Oh, okay. I just—" I pause, for the line is already dead.
He has just hung up on me.
Bon voyage, Kira.
When I arrive home I see Liam's jaguar outside. God, help me. He's already here, waiting for me. Staring at my duplex, I feel like I've reached the beginning of my end. My heart pounds heavily against my chest as I climb the stairs up to my flat.
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