"Did you read my diary?" I snap at Sam as I can't seem to withhold the anger I'm feeling inside.

"Oh . . . this? I didn't mean to read it," she says coolly.

"What? That's my fucking diary, Sam! It's my privacy and you have no right to do that!" My body trembles and I momentarily forget that there's a bigger issue than the diary itself.

"I only wanted to return your charger, and by pure coincidence, your lovely diary dropped and flipped. And guess which page it was, huh?" Sam stands up slowly, a creepy smile on her face. Dread washes over me and my focus returns on the bigger issue. "The part where he kissed you for the first time. No, was it kissing you, or both of you kissing each other?" She pretends to think.

I fail to respond, so I just stand with my lips sealed. I think it's finally over.

"Why, Kira? Why this?" she asks me in a soft voice while getting closer. Her smile wears off and only pain resurfaces on her face. "Why, dammit? What did I do to deserve this? Why—"

"Let me explain," I interrupt her, my breath heavy and caught up by fear.

Sam laughs incredulously. "Explain? What's there to explain? You want to explain how you've been fooling me this entire time? Or how stupid and laughable I've been to you? Explaining what sort of a friend you truly are? What else do you want to explain?"

"Sam—"

"I just don't believe this," she cuts me off, her eyes on the diary. "How could you?" She looks at me nastily.

"I didn't mean to do it, Sam. I swear, I didn't mean to—" I pause, unable to even come up with an intelligent excuse.

Sam strides fiercely and slams the diary on my chest. I stare nervously at her, tears pricking in my eyes. This is not how I wanted things to be. I wanted to tell her the truth but time decided to snitch on me. What do I do now? What do I tell her?

Do I even have a defense?

"Spare me your fucked-up excuses, and much less your crocodile tears. You are a traitor! A backstabber! You're the worst, Kira!" she snaps at my face.

"Sam," I utter, shutting my eyes from both lack of words and this feeling as if the world has collapsed on my feet, the air barely enough for my lungs. "I'm sorry. I know nothing can justify the fact that I hid my involvement with Liam but—" I fail to continue.

I'm terrible at arguments, and even more when I'm the guilty one.

"How could you, huh?" Sam utters, disbelief lacing her voice. "After everything I told you, every feeling I shared with you, you still had the guts to betray me like this? Was it fun? Was it fun listening to me whining over and over again that I like him? How did it make you feel every time I talked to you about him? Tell me, Kira! Was it great?"

"I wanted to tell you about it!" I snap back, because talking doesn't seem to work with her right now. "I tried to tell you but . . . but I don't know. Something happened each time I brought the subject up and . . ." And I'd either cower or get no chance to finish saying it.

"You wanted to tell me? What did you want to tell me, Kira? That he loves you and not me? That you two have been having a secret romance behind everyone's back? What the fuck did you want to tell me, damn it!" she yells loudly.

I feel like my head's going to burst and everything goes blurred momentarily. Not knowing what Sam is saying right now, I just clear my vision, exhale heavily, and gaze up at her.

"I don't even know how it all started," I say absentmindedly, recalling all the encounters that led Liam Darcy and I into occasional meetings always from everyone's eyes. "It happened and none of us planned it. But I'm sorry for hiding it, Sam, I just couldn't tell you sooner and maybe that's my biggest mistake," I plead, fully aware that it's too late to apologize.

"Bravo, Kira Jones!" Ignoring my rumble, Sam starts clapping. "Bravo! How easy to say, huh? You speak as if it's something simple." She grits her teeth with pure menace.

"What do you want to say, Sam? I don't have anything to say other than apologizing for hurting you." I stare beseechingly at her. "And I was going to tell you everything tonight. If you didn't open my—"

"Oh, shut up! Look at your face right now. You look like what you did is nothing serious! You look as if you weren't doing anything wrong all this time! You're thick-skinned, Kira, that's what you are! A shameless tramp!" Sam speaks despicably, stabbing me straight in the heart with her sharp words. "You were going to tell me today after all the fun you've had with him?" A laughter of disdain fills the air.

Oh God! I sigh softly, ignoring the slight migraine I'm suddenly feeling.

"Tell me something, Sam," I say, moving closer to her angry face. "Would it be fine if I told you about it from the start? Because I'm not sure what I had to do, honestly."

"Shut up!" Sam utters between her clenched teeth as if she's about to pull my hair out.

"Would you understand me if I told you that I'm feeling something to the same guy you keep saying that you love? Would you have listened to me and accepted that he's not feeling the same way you feel about him? If I told you that he likes me instead, would you have allowed us to discover what we feel for each other?" The more I talk, the more enraged Sam gets, but I don't stop. "Tell me truthfully, Samantha, would it have changed anything if you learned this yesterday instead of today?

"You're right, nothing would've changed," Sam says and her whole body shivers. "You know why? Because you're a backstabber from the very beginning. I wouldn't be surprised if you didn't do the same thing with Jeremy. You always like what I like! Right?"

My heart shatters at her last remark, but I don't retaliate no matter how pained I am.

"Okay, let's go with that. I'm a backstabber who only steals the men you like." I can't argue anymore, and with this my eyes fail to hold the tears as this is a big slander. "But you know what? The last thing I wanted in my life was hurting you, Sam. I mean it."

"No, I don't think I know." She shakes her head in denial. "And you've succeeded to hurt me, just so you know, Kira. And I'll never forgive you for this."

I knew it would come to this, so I shouldn't be surprised.

"With that face of yours, everyone thinks you're a saint," Sam snarls with a fine deliberate to hurt me further, which works perfectly. "The nice one." She twirls around me. "The good one. Always the loved one." Now she halts and our eyes meet again.

I don't respond. I just let her let it all out.

"And of course I'm the bad one, right? So tell me, Kira, how did you seduce him?" she asks mockingly. "What were his kisses like?" she adds, and I swallow the anger that's slowly consuming my soul. "What about his caresses? Did you have sex with him? How was it?"

"Stop it, Sam!" Fists clenched, I grit my teeth.

"You're shutting me up? Why? Don't you want to talk about Mr. Darcy?" As if the mention of the name reminds her of something, she suddenly laughs heartily. "Mr. Darcy? So that was just an act? What a pro, huh? You're really something else, best friend. What else are you hiding? Do I even know you, Kira Jones? Who are you really?"

"Okay, that's enough!" I snap, taking a long breath of composure. "I'm not standing here listening to every bit of your insults!"

Her words pierce through my heart like a katana. Maybe I don't have any right to get mad at her, but then why am I so angry right now?

"How dare you!" she exclaims, her eyes aflame.

"I don't know what else to do, Sam." I slowly move my legs away from her and sit on the bed, feeling physically weak now. "I made a mistake. I shouldn't have allowed myself to love Liam. Is that what you want to hear?" I ask her, and she says nothing. "Well, I won't say such a thing because loving him is not a mistake and I refuse to think that it is."

"Love? Did you just say love?" Sam utters, amused. "Oh please, Kira, don't make me laugh."

Yes, it is. Now I know it is love and I don't care what she or anyone thinks.

"Let me ask you something." I rise up once again. "What is it that you're angry about? Is it because I fell in love with Liam? Or that I didn't tell you about it?" I look her straight in the eyes, and the anger in them is increasingly visible. "If I'd told you the truth, would you've allowed it to go on?"

We both hold our tongues, beholding each other's gaze for a few seconds.

"Never!" Sam answers, her teeth clenched. "I'd never let that happen!" She moves her face closer to mine while saying this.

"Why?" I squint my eyes as I try to scrutinize her reactions. "Because you love him? Do you really love him, Sam? Can you honestly say that you love him?" I ask more strenuously.

"What are you trying to say, huh?" Sam snorts disdainfully, her face guarded as I can no longer tell if the question disturbs her or not.

"That I don't believe it?" I reply bluntly. "I don't think you're angry because you love him! Nor because I hid the truth from you! I know you so well, Samantha. The only reason that makes you angry right now is the fact that it's Kira who's been standing in your way and no one else!"

"Shut up!" she snaps.

"An insignificant best friend of yours who is nothing compared to you, am I wrong?" I also raise my voice.

"Shut up!"

"He's not your type, Kira. He's too good for you. It's what you always tell me. But why? Why are they always good for you but not me? Why don't you give me the chance to make my own choices? Have you ever sat down and asked what I want? Or what I need? No. My choices are always limited in your thoughts. They are either too good or not good enough."

"Stop making things up!" Sam lashes. "I'm not like that! I only tried to protect you so that you won't make a fool out of yourself!"

"Oh really?" I laugh, letting the tears flow as they please. "Because I'm too naive to take care of myself, huh?" She clenches her fists. "Because to you I'm just a stupid girl who doesn't even know what she wants with her life."

"So, are you happy now that you've proved to be a great seductress?" Sam questions, arms folded across her chest. "You have them all at your leash, right? Liam, Malik, and even Jeremy that I always suspected he had a thing for you."

"No," I say unwaveringly. "I'm only happy because for the first time in my life I found someone who saw a value in me. Someone who took me as I am, without putting the buts, nor trying to change a thing. He accepted me, as boring as I am, and that is something I've always wished for. I knew you'd never understand even if I told you this. Everything has always been about you, Sam, and I just had to follow through. But this time, I don't regret anything, even if you condemn me as if I'm the most evil person in the world."

"You bitch!" A heavy slap lands on my cheek, cocking my head momentarily to one side.

Without flinching, I slowly fix myself with a bold sigh.

"Does that make you feel better?" I ask softly, making sure that I don't break down so easily. "Would you like to slap me again?"

"You-know-nothing!" Sam snarls, speaking between her gritted teeth. "You don't know anything about what I feel being your shadow."

"What are you talking about?" I ask with squinted eyes at her.

"You always take the spotlight," she answers, and it's a real shock to me, I swear. "Always making me feel inferior, the second best, and I hate it!" she yells to my face. "I saw him first. I liked him first, and you know that!"

"Do you even realize what sort of nonsense you're talking about right now?" I feel stupefied. "Sam, this is real life, for God's sake! We're not kids! We're in no competition!"

"No!" she says loudly.

"Okay. Fine. Have it your way," I say in a resigned manner, all too tired of this whole mess. "But don't compare myself to you! In fact, I never desire to get the attention you always deem to have. It's so disappointing that up until now you know so little about me."

"You're a traitor, and I'll never ever forgive you for this! You hear me? Never!" Her voice is promising and I'm dismayed. "And I'd rather not see your shameless face for as long as I live."

"Don't worry about that, Sam. I'm going to leave this place right away just as I've been planning to. You won't even have to see me again," I reply dryly, not sure if I mean it or not.

"Yeah, you better!" Sam says. "And as far as our friendship is concerned, Kira Jones. We are over!"

My heart sinks.