we grew accustomed to the feeling

of faux happiness that it already feels so real even though at night your pillows are never dry

from the tears that you shed

and the blood that you bled

the anxiety floating in your head

but when the sun came up

you were up and going,

always ready and smiling,

you felt safe, and confident

but when the night comes

and knocks you out, and suddenly there it is again.