Ugh! Math is so stupid!" I groan out loud.

Daphne looks up from her notebook, sitting on her bed and raises an eyebrow. "You okay there?"

I glare down at my math notes. "No, I hate math, and mid terms."

"I hear you, Ash." Daphne agrees.

I've been stuck on this stupid geometry stuff all afternoon and can't seem to get it. I could seriously throw the book onto the floor and be happy about it. I'm studying to be an English teacher, not some scientist who's gonna cure cancer.

"You're coming to the boys house tonight right?" Daphne asks, taking me out of my vendetta against geometry.

I shrug. "I guess so," I don't meet Daphne's eyes because if I do, I know she'll catch me and think something's up.

She hasn't asked about the other night and I'm glad. I was not about to tell her how I threw up and cried in front of the boy I like. Okay, yes, I do like him. It's different than just a crush though. I have a connection to him that I can't understand. It's not like I'm going to tell him or anything, I'm just seeing where these feelings fit.

My phone buzzes under my leg and I go to check it.

Derek: Bonfire? Remember? Come. Please?

I catch myself smiling down at it but stop because I see Daphne staring. "What are you smiling at?" She asks, suspiciously.

I shake my head and quickly say, "Nothing."

"It is definitely not nothing," she says, rolling her eyes. "Is it Derek?"

My head pops up and I raise my eyebrows. "How did you-"

"Brooks told me," she says smiling. "Derek came home late yesterday afternoon and asked where he was. He said he was out and Brooks accused him of being with you and he didn't deny it."

I try to hide my accusing face. "It's nothing, he's just nice and gave me a ride that's all."

She gives me a look. "Uh huh sure."

I shake my head and look down at my phone to text Derek back.

Me: I'm not sure.

Derek: Ugh, live a little, Mayfield. You can study later.

I roll my eyes.

Me: Fine, I'll come with Daphne.

Derek: Sweet

TTTTTTTTTT

Daphne and I walk out the backyard door and we see about probably fifteen hockey players and some girls sprinkled in. I see Brooks and Tyler pushing each other by the fire in a teasing way. I wouldn't be surprised if one of them got close to falling in.

I look around the group of people in search of Derek. But when I find him, my smile droops off my face. I see Derek sitting on a lawn chair and a tall blonde in a tight black dress sitting on the arm rest, very close, and a flirty smile displayed on her lips.

I frown and drop my head to my feet. Daphne traces my gaze and grabs my arm, pulling me away from Derek and to Brooks and Tyler.

"Hey baby," Brooks greets and pulls Daphne in for a hug. "Hey Ash! Nice to see you!" He smiles.

I try my best to smile back. "Hi Brooks." I greet.

"Ash!" Tyler exclaims. He gets to my side and puts an arm around my shoulder. I fight the urge to look at Derek who isn't that far away. And from my peripheral vision I can slightly see that the blonde girl is still next to him.

"Hey, Tyler." I say. "How are you?"

He gives me a big white smile. "Never better, babe."

I chuckle. Tyler's a nice guy. He's the typical goofball and jokester of a group. The last few times I've been around him, a smile is always on my face.

I betray myself and my eyes track back to Derek, who's stare is not the same as it was the other night. His blue eyes glare daggers at Tyler's arm. The blonde girl still seems to be talking to him but he doesn't seem to pay much attention to her. His hand that's gripping his cup looks like it could break it.

I've never seen him like that before. It would probably scare me if I didn't know what he's actually like.

I quickly avert my eyes from him and pay attention to Tyler who's telling a funny story to Brooks and Daphne about practice the other day.

"Yeah, and Mr. Know It All over there," he nods to Derek. "Decided it was a good idea to tell Coach that we were slacking." Tyler playfully glares in Derek's direction. "And we had to skate twenty fucking lines."

Derek doesn't seem as amused as Tyler does because his glare is still on Tyler's arm, which is still wrapped around my shoulders. I decide to push him off, claiming I need to use the restroom and walk through the back door into the house. Part of me hopes Derek doesn't follow me but I have a sneaky suspicion he will.

I walk upstairs and into the bathroom locking the door behind me. I take a deep breath looking at myself in the mirror. Who was that girl? Why was she talking to him? And why do I care so much? I practically barely know the guy and I'm over here over analyzing this whole thing. I shake my head to get the annoying questions out of my head and I leave the bathroom walking downstairs.

"Why not Derek?" I hear a voice say.

I freeze. I don't hear what he says next. All I hear is a mumbling grunt. I slowly walk toward the kitchen and right as I do I witness the blonde girl locked lips with Derek. My mouth drops open and for some reason my chest tightens.

I lose my balance a little and my feet make a loud noise against the ground. I gasp and get out of there.

Tears prick my eyes and I don't know why. He's just a stupid boy. You knew this, remember? Hockey player? Pretty boy? Be careful?

It shouldn't matter, but it does apparently.

I reach a door that is familiar to me and slide the door open. It's the porch from the first time I was here. After I got scared from the movie and needed fresh air. I breathe in the cold November air and close my eyes.

I compose myself as much as possible until I hear the door slide open behind me.

"Ash?" The voice behind me calls.

The tears return to my eyes as I look back at Derek, who stands wide eyed at the door. "What do you want?" I grunt out, a rough tone laces my voice.

He looks like the same Derek I saw Saturday night. With his calm expression and relaxed presence. "Was that you in the hallway?" He asks calmly.

I glare at him. That was all the answer he needed. He moves to get closer to me but I back away. "Ash," he starts.

I shake my head, still fighting back tears. "No, you know what? It's fine, I was stupid enough to even think-"

"Think what?" He asks.

I glare at him again.

He raises an eyebrow. "You seriously think I would willingly kiss a bimbo like Stacey?" He asks, astonished.

Once again, the glare does not leave my face. "Seemed like that to me."

"Well you are stupid to think that then." He spits out.

My mouth drops open. "Stupid?" I say, shocked. "Are you actually kidding me right now? I thought you were nice and you helped me the other night. For what? To pity me? Get me to sleep with you?" I spit back at him.

He scoffs. "Oh come on-" he rolls his eyes.

"No, because I thought that maybe, just maybe, you actually cared!" I exclaim, beyond angry at him.

He just glares at me. "You're kidding right?" He reaches my level of volume.

I give him a look, "What?"

"What was that with Tyler then? I invited you. I wanted you here." He says, sternly pointing to himself each time he said I.

I scoff. "He was just saying hello, but that's not the point."

He throws his hands up. "What is the point then, Ash? Huh?"

We stare at each other and for the first time I understand why I care so much. He's the one. He's the one who I've pictured in my head my whole life. He's the one who comforts me by just looking at him and am able to calm down at the sound of his voice. The anger rolls off my face but I can't reveal what my brain is telling me and push past him to the door.

Right as I'm about to reach for the handle he pulls me back by the arm and captures my lips before I can react.

I suck in a breath at the feeling of his lips on mine. The combination of him and me is like a firework went off in my head. Our lips move together and his hand comes up to cup my cheek as my hand goes to the back of his head and into his hair.

I pull away for a second and look into his eyes. Catching my breath and breathing in the sight of him in front of me. He recaptures my lips and I'm in a state of contentment and excitement all in one.

I've only kissed one boy in my life, I was in high school and I dated this boy in my history class for about two weeks. Didn't work out. I panicked and broke up with him over text.

This is different though. When my feelings grew for Derek I didn't run away. And now he's right here and I don't know what this means.

He breaks away and we both are catching our breaths once again. Breathless he breathes out, "Ash,"

I give him a small smile. I bite my lip and look away from him. "I'm sorry, I shouldn't have jumped to conclusions."

He shakes his head. "No I'm sorry I got mad and called you stupid."

I laugh. My smile and laugh brings a light to Derek's eyes and he smiles with me. I wrap my arms around Derek's back and hold onto him. He wraps his arms around me and I breath in the scent coming from him. His cologne mixed with his warm scent calms all my anxious energy and I close my eyes.

"Hey, Mayfield?" Derek asks.

"Mhm?" I mumble.

"It's snowing." He states and I open my eyes looking up at the sky in awe.

I release Derek and move over to the balcony, leaning on the rail. I smile at the snow falling from the sky. I feel Derek's arms wrap around my waist and his head drops on my shoulder. I lean back into him.

The snow and the feeling of Derek's arms around me are imprinted in my mind and I watch as the snow on the ground begins to stick.

Finally.