"Why don't you want to come?" Angel asked, stomping and forming a ridiculous, 'pity me' pout.

I hugged my pillow close to my body and let out an exaggerated laugh. She flicked her hair away from her face and frowned.

"I'm too tired to go." I said and relaxed deeper into my bed.

Lie. Well, it wasn't really a lie. I was tired but it was more of the fact that I didn't want to see a him who was most definitely going to be there. He was always at parties.

Angel tugged on my duvet. "But why? You should come! I don't want to go by myself." She groaned and I laughed tiredly.

I could just go to sleep right now.

"Then don't go. Stay here and we can watch some movies or something." I suggested with the shrug of my shoulders, meanwhile Angel thought for a second. She tapped her chin and my foot slowly emerged out from my duvet, pushing her down onto the bed with an evil, sinister smile.

She stuck her tongue out at me and lied on her stomach, grabbing her phone from the scattered bed sheets.

"Would this entail a sleepover?" She asked, her voice raising in question. I yawned and nodded my head to which she said a quick but short, 'cool!'

She was already dressed up in some pretty dress. Though no makeup or hair was done. Me on the other hand, was wearing a random sweater I found from my brothers room because it looked really nice. He had nice clothes and whenever I came into my room and he was home, I'd find something from my makeup bag missing. So it was fair game.

But, he hadn't actually done that anytime recently. He had been keeping to himself a bit more than usual and I had myself to blame for that. I needed to find some time to speak to him but things got in the way. It was like it was impossible.

"Grab some sweats and that from my closet if you want." I said and pointed Angel in the direction of my closet. I had decided to buy and hang up some dangly pink beads on my doorway so every time I walked into my closet, it'd make a noise. Kind of an amazing purchase and I'd definitely purchase more in the future.

Maybe every door I'd hang them up.

Nah. Too much noise.

Angel gave me a 'thanks' and walked into my closet. A minute later she was walking back out with some bright pink t-shirt I had thrifted five years ago - it was a little tight on her around the front but baggy on the sleeves - it was like a crop top. The thing with Angel, was that she'd always look amazing in everything she wore. Because it was Angel. No one could do it better than her.

As I saw, from the corner of my eye of Angel stripping, I turned to the side and automatically went to grab my phone. I had the strong urge just to unblock him. But I couldn't do that. No way.

But what if he had texted me?

Why would he?

I very obviously wasn't important to him. Not one bit.

If anything, I deserved a heartfelt apology with flowers and everything. No. Only joking. That was the men in the movies. Never the men in real life.

Wasn't it funny. The expectations we set ourselves just because of what we heard and what we saw. The reality of men in real life, was vastly different from the men in the books, and in all the movies. Obviously there were some men who were genuine and nice in real life, and men who horrible in the books, (and also real life). But we allowed ourselves to set high standards to fall in love with book men and romanticise every little thing that happened with a guy in real life.

But realistically, because of these book men, these men from the movies...we were really setting the bar high to cross out every guy that came into our life's. Just because they didn't act the way we wanted them to. Or how we wanted them to be or look.

I always found a comfort in the men in books and movies. I allowed myself to believe in real love and proper attraction that was based on personality. Not just liking someone because of bodily features.

But that was what today's society was like.

We needed validation. Not just from ourselves. But from others. Other people's opinions meant the world to me - for the worse. I began to believe what other people thought of me and I saw the real me.

I saw the overly skinny but chubbied face Willow in the mirror every morning.

I saw the dark bags under my eyes from not getting enough sleep.

Stress. Anxiety. Maybe even depression. They all got to me. At some point or another.

It was just living with the idea of how to cope with it.

I rubbed my forehead from an imaginary headache and dragged my hands down my face. Pulling at the excess skin I felt. My eyes were sorely smudged and coated with well-worn mascara. Hell. I was figuratively living in the pits of hell right about now.

I peeled the duvet off from me and slipped into my slippers that soon warmed up my cold feet. The bunny ears were hitting my lower legs as I took each step closer and closer to the door. Zoe had looked up from her bed that was next to mine. But she purred and twisted onto her side, snuggling into the warm fabric. That bed was for free.

"Want to grab some snacks?" I asked, voicing quivering with doubt.

"Yeah, sure. Just give me a sec'." She said and I nodded. She was pulling on the sweats she had borrowed and slipped into her jumper. We were wearing jumpers in this type of LA heat. But it was a normal, everyday thing that everyone seemed to do - unless you went to the beach or massive day trips. Not when you were staying inside, doing nothing.

I couldn't think of anything worse than going to a party with groups of people who I didn't even like. Sticking with the fake façades they all put up. Did we really know who everyone was? Everybody seemed so carefree and lively at school. But it did make me wonder what was actually going on in peoples life's.

As we made our way down into the kitchen, I diverted off over to the cupboard. I yanked it open and lifted myself up onto the counter. I perched safely and foraged through it. I could hear Angel moving and pulling back a chair.

"Popcorn?" I offered, looking back to see Angel giving me a big nod. "You're fine with sweet and salty, right?"

"Yes. It's actually my favourite" She said and a relieved breath left my mouth. I hadn't hosted a sleepover in a very long time. Usually it was Betty sleeping over at my house or I slept over at hers. It felt a little weird having someone else over, especially when I didn't know her a full one hundred percent.

As soon as the popcorn was done, I poured it into an orange, halloween printed bowl. It was almost spooky season and there was no time like the present. I wanted halloween to come as soon as possible!

"So..." Angel trailed. I quickly grabbed some other snacks. Candy. Strawberries. Cinnamon rolls. "Anything going on with Theo lately? I haven't heard anything."

I sucked in a tight breath at the mention of his name and I tried to busy myself with the snacks and drinks. "I don't like him anymore. B-but I think that's for the best anyway." I shrugged, trying to reason. I didn't know if I was telling her that for her benefit, or for mine.

I never knew how to juggle strong feelings like this? They got stronger everyday when I'd see him at school.

What made me feel sick to the bone was that I was obviously just 'some' girl to him. No one who was really special or prominent to him in his life. Fair enough, though.

Maybe he thought he was doing me a favour of "kissing" me. But that was not how I saw it.

It made me feel like a charity case.

"Why? Is it because he's your brothers best friend?" Angel asked, coming to stand next to me in a comforting manner.

I shrugged, clearing my throat. "I guess that's a part of it, yeah." I could feel my voice withering, loosing strength. I cleared my throat again.

"Are you okay? You know I'm here for you, right?" Angel asked, her voice dropping to a comfortable and soft manner.

I nodded, loading some crisps into a bowl. A plain bowl this time.

I cleared my throat again but I could feel my eyes become glossy. Please, no. I didn't want to cry. I really didn't. But everything in my life did feel exhausting.

"Oh Willow!" Angel said in a panicked, but sympathetic voice. She wrapped her hands around my neck and I tensed. I stayed frozen on the spot. Then I could feel an incredible deep sob emit from my mouth and wasted no time in wrapping my arms tight around her. "It's going to be alright. You listen to me." She said but I could barely hear her.

I felt stupid for believing he may of felt something back. I was also confused on what type of person he was. Obviously I knew he got around a lot - no shame in that of course - but I thought maybe what we had was different. Unless this was how he acted with all girls and I was just one of them.

Maybe I was the problem in all of this.

But I thought he was nice to me...in some sort of way.

But all of that was a lie. He just felt sorry for me. But for what? My family? Did he know about Dad? Did he think I was vulnerable so he thought it would be best to "kiss" me to make it all better?

It would've made things a lot better, obviously. But only for a short period of time. I was sure he'd make it known that I was a joke to him after that- and even more embarrassingly. I was pretty lucky in a sense, to of gotten out of that quickly before it could've gotten far and make me seem even more like a joke and humiliation to him and to the whole school.

Maybe that what was the Universe helping me with. Maybe this was a sign and a massive push to tell me that he was in fact, not the one.

Fate. It always had a plan.

"Whatever it is, and you don't have to tell me- I'm just going to assume it's all because of Theo, but you don't have to tell me anything about what happened. We can just carry this night on without speaking a word about it. But! If you do want to talk about it, then I'm all ears." She offered and I squeezed her closer to me. I felt tied with emotions. I really had no idea what to do.

I sniffed, and pulled away from her warm hug. She looked at me sympathetically and I felt embarrassed. That was exactly what I didn't want. I didn't want people feeling sorry for me!

"I'll be fine. It's nothing." I said, wiping my eyes. Angel looked slightly disappointed at that. But she did say I didn't have to tell her. She couldn't go against her own words.

"That's fine." She paused and smiled sadly. "Come on, let's go watch a movie and forget about boys for the night. What I say to boys is, fuck them!" She shouted quietly and I laughed. I was thankful that no one was home.

"What about Mike? What happened to him?" I asked her, taking a couple bowls in my hands. Angel did the same. I also had two bottles of water under my arms.

Angel shrugged, following me through into the living room. "I'm not sure." She sighed. "He hasn't even tried to talk to me or make any effort. I should probably take that as a sign that he doesn't like me."

"He definitely likes you. You can't tell me you don't see him looking over at you all the time." I said and looked at Angel who was now beaming. "Exactly. Trust me, he's very much into you and he makes it so obvious." I grabbed a blanket and threw it over me and Angel. Our snacks were on the coffee table and I dimmed the lights a little bit.

My Mom wasn't going to be back until tomorrow. Work had picked up a considerable amount meaning I saw her less.

"What do you want to watch?" I asked, grabbing the remote.

"Do you have Netflix?" Angel asked, looking at me. I nodded and passed her the remote control.

We ended up watching several movies and we had checked out all of our socials. There were many pictures and videos on people's stories on Instagram. They looked like they were having a great time.

I shut off my phone and ignored the look from Angel as I walked out of the living room and into the kitchen. I grabbing a bottle of strong liquor from the cupboard that was forbidden and only allowed to be opened by me when I was eighteen. It was a cupboard that both Mom and Callum could take stuff from - which was all alcohol - but I was seventeen so Mom had warned me with the point of her finger that I would not step close to that cupboard.

But oops.

I took the bottle with me and two shot glasses back into the living room. "Here. Let's have this." I said, twisting the cap off.

Angel gave me a wary look. "You sure this is a good idea?" She asked.

"Of course." I said and Angel shrugged. She helped me pour a good amount into the glasses, without spilling it.

But after five or so shots, we didn't care how messily we poured the liquid into the miniature cups. We were too focused on singing our hearts out at karaoke.

Then the next minute, we were passing out on my bed. My feet were somewhere. I just couldn't feel them.

The next morning I awoke to an arm hitting me in the face. Was it an arm? It looked a lot thicker and had a lot more wider fingers. The supposed arm stayed there before I pushed it away and cupped my face in agony.

My brain had felt like it was being split into two pieces, hammered by a hammer and cars running over both my brain and my throat. My throat was as dry as a dessert and my heart thudded at the blurry memory of downing a whole bottle of vodka.

Yes. Vodka.

For a brief, heart-stopping ten seconds, I almost forgot who's bedroom I was in. I barely recognised it though my eyes were still waking up and breaking through the surface of sleep.

I didn't dare to scrunch up my face in discomfort - though I wanted to so badly - because if I did, it meant it'd awake the headache even more and the pain would be worse. I slowly but surely - after twenty minutes of staring up at the ceiling, dying in self pity and regret - lifted my head up off from the pillow. Then a silent laugh left my mouth.

Angel was asleep upside down. Her arms were displayed above her head whilst her feet were spread out next to me.

So it was her foot. Not her arm.

Her dark hair covered most of her face but every so often, as I continued to stare forwards, could see the hair that was a blanket over her mouth, flew upwards as she snored.

Holy heck.

🝮🝮🝮

We managed to clean away everything and made sure we didn't leave anything looking unusually displaced. I never drank. That was actually the first time drinking vodka and was surprised to how I wasn't vomiting.

We re-energised ourselves by ordering Starbucks and taking ourselves to the mall. Angel had her dark eyes set out on a dress she had wanted to buy for a very long time.

"Does this suit me?" Angel asked, holding the night blue dress up against her body. She glanced between me and the mirror, an uncertain looking displaying her features.

"It looks great. Try it on." I suggested and she nodded, turning swiftly to walk over to the fitting rooms.

I snatched a magazine from the table beside me and tried to get into the 'Top Ten Best Models'. Which let's just say, I didn't even know who any of these people were.

Who could read magazines and be interested in them?

Definitely not me.

I threw the magazine down onto the table and crossed my arms over my chest. I stared down at my lap, busying my mind until I heard a squeal behind the curtain and a very excited looking Angel jumping out from behind it.

"How do I look?" She asked, jumping up and down.

"I don't know, I can't really see it." I stated and she stayed still, immediately sticking her tongue out at me to which I laughed.

"Get the good angles of me." She said and started turning to the side, then the back, then to the front once again. "Of a scale of one to ten, how pretty do I look? Do I look like I could grab Mike's attention now?"

"You always catch his attention." I said, pouting. She rolled her eyes and placed her hands on her hips.

"You know what I mean." She sighed as if I was stupid- which I was. "Now the one to ten scale!"

I stood up and shrugged. I felt like I was on a cliff edge being told to jump. "Ah! I don't know!"

She stomped her foot and spun around.

"You look like a ten!" I said and she clapped. From the distance I could hear the shop door open, then close. I was too distracted with saying the right thing to make Angel feel happy. Angel ran back behind the curtain and I threw myself back down onto the seat in a huff. Thank goodness for that.

My stomach rumbled and I wondered if it was from the coffee I had this morning. It tended to upset my stomach.. but then I realised it wasn't in in fact, that, and it was just because I forgot to buy myself breakfast. I sighed in relief as I remembered I had brought something with me that I had left.

I grabbed myself my chocolate muffin from my bag, and quickly unpeeled the pink napkin from it. It would be okay to eat. Right?

Oh well. You only live once!

"Well, well, well." I heard someone say from behind me and I had never sat up from a seat so fast before. "Look who we have here.." They said and I could see Stephane and her friends behind me.

I instantly sunk into the seat.

"Oh...it's you." I tried not to let my disappointment get to me. But it did. Who was I expecting anyway?

Stephanie sniggered and rolled her eyes. Her hair was down in loose curls whilst her friends had their hair straight. "Yeah, it's me. What are you doing here?"

I could hear the vain in her voice and even the girls were staring at me; both with two different looks on their faces.

"I'm here with my friend." I didn't know why I was telling her that, it wasn't like she was going to appreciate my answer in a nice way.

"You have friends? Wow, get a load of this." She turned to her friends and they forced out fake laughs. "Didn't know you could have people around you that don't get bored and irritated by the minute."

I stared up at her, just about to reply, then the curtain was pulled roughly aside.

"Didn't know you could have friends. Especially with that attitude and loose hair extension." Angel bit back and Stephanie gasped loudly.

"You're lying!" Stephanie shouted, feeling her hair. Then when she realised Angel was just joking, she stuck her middle finger up.

I could see Rachel smirking then going straight back into a glare. It was almost like it was programmed.

I turned to look at Angel but Angel wasn't looking at me. Instead she was glaring at Stephanie and walking forward.

"Really, if you talk to much, you might run out of words. But we can't have that, can we? Every body loves you." Angel enthused.

Stephanie crossed her arms and looked down at me. "You'll regret this. I hope you know that." She said in a low, slightly patronising tone.

Why was she looking at me? What did I say?

"Come on, Stephanie. Let's just leave it." Rachel said, trying to divert whatever this was.