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'Things really really aren't going well.' River thought to herself as she stared into space.

You figured that out now?

'You do realize you are part of my problem, right?' She felt like an idiot for continuing to talk to herself but she just couldn't help it.

I am just a reminder that we have a problem at hand.

UGH!!!!!!

The surgeon screamed into the pillow. The twins had their room fixed and stocked with a hundred toys and thus they were there with little Mia.

And as always, River was stuck in Mateo's room.

Why this time? Because of his grandmother it seemed.

She wondered why everyone and the whole fucking universe was hell bent on making them sleep together!

But that really wasn't the problem. The problem was that Mateo's mom had called and said they will be arriving the next evening because his grandmother took her time packing and all and making them do errands for her and they were coming back by car and that took about eight hours so they decided to set out at daybreak.

Abrianna Costello seemed like a very troublesome lady. That was not going to do poor River any good.

But neither was that the problem. The problem was that after her girl time with Jacqueline, she had come out to find the kids taking a nap in their room, Sebastian and Alison indeed had gone out on a date, Alessia and Adam had had a heated argument and she had locked herself up in her room and Adam had taken her mother, Susan out for sightseeing. Jacqueline had decided she needed to rest and she went to catch up with Nanna. Even River wanted to talk to her grandmother but the stupid nurse insisted that she needed to rest a bit because she had a panic attack but went ahead on a walk right after she woke up. And Mateo was nowhere to be seen. So having absolutely nothing do, River had to drag herself back to the room and assure the Italian nurse that she would stay put and she had nothing to worry about.

But being alone really wasn't doing any good. She felt suffocated. It was like someone had kept something super heavy on her chest and was pressing down on it. It was painful to breathe.

So she was lying on her stomach, face muffled by her pillow. She had also kept a pillow between her chest and the bed hoping for the pressure to do something to ease the dull ache in her chest. So far it wasn't helping either! Not one thing she tried was helping.

River didn't want to scare anyone with any more of her panic attacks. Nor did she want to irritate an already irritated someone being 'such a killjoy'. The thought of that certain someone converted some of her discomfort into annoyance, so that kind of helped?

"River?"

'Shit.' She thought. 'Talk of the devil and he is sure to appear.'

The doctor quickly shut her eyes, pretending to nap. She felt the bed dip on the other side. "I know you are not asleep."

She opened her eyes a tad bit to peek through and was met with his quirked eyebrow.

Busted.

River quickly sat up and looked at him with her ridiculously childish pout plastered across her face.

"Can we talk now?" He asked, his voice even, not giving away any emotion.

"No." She pouted stubbornly. She did not want to talk to him about anything because she was convinced that her baby daddy was a certified dumbass. And she did not want to talk about her troubles to anyone else because she did not want to worry the shit out of them. Everyone already had a lot on their plates and having to listen to her problems and troubles were the last thing they needed.

Mateo let out a sigh and held her by her shoulders. "How long are you planning to keep behaving like this?" He asked.

River narrowed her eyes at him. Why did that sound like he was talking to a stubborn teenager? Though she had to admit, she might have been acting like one for a while now.

"I am going to get professional help." She stated finally, proud of the conclusion that she had come to. Because as a doctor herself, it seemed the best thing to do. Not everything could be fixed by just talking about it.

Mateo looked at her like she was crazy for a moment and literally face-palmed.

Someone tell this man you are supposed to do it internally so that you don't offend the other person!

River rolled her eyes. He really was a dumbass.

"You are acting like a pregnant woman River." He sighed and then he asked, looking unsure. "Are you?"

Now it was time for her to face-palm. "Uh huh, that's why it's a warzone in my panties."

He rubbed the back of his neck, grinning sheepishly at his own stupidity. Dumbass.

That has become a thing.

'What?'

You calling him a dumbass in your head.

"Just.. I know it's a lot and I know I take your courage for granted sometime -" River's ears perked up. He had her full attention. "- but I want you to communicate with me so that I can understand the scenario in your mind and help you."

She looked at him for a long moment.

"I also know that I am not the most approachable person when it comes to deep heartfelt conversation." He added.

You aren't wrong there buddy.

"But I really meant what I said that night."

River quirked a brow. There had been a lot of nights and he had said a lot of things. Which one of it was he referring to?

"Our last night in Wyoming." He clarified when he realized she really was confused about which night he was talking about. "I meant it when I said what I thought when I first saw you last year. And now that we do have children, I think we should get married."

"Whoa whoa whoa, this is going way too fast!" River put both her hands up, gesturing for him to stop talking immediately. This was not a conversation she wanted resumed anytime soon, what with everything that had been going on.

"What do you mean?"

"That it's going way too fast!" She hopped off the bed. "I am gonna go check on the kids."

"River!" He almost growled and she stopped in her tracks, more because of shock than of fear. Does this guy think of himself as a lion or wolf or something?

"I think we already know what happens when we run away instead of facing things and talking it out." He stated.

River narrowed her eyes at him.

This little-

"And we also know that it's your specialty." She retorted. Oh, she did not plan to let him off the hook for that. Ever.

He sighed as he stared at her and nodded. "Exactly, it's what I do. You are the rational level-headed person who sorts everything out. Then why are you behaving like this now?"

"Because-" She took a deep breath, trying to swallow the lump that was constricting her throat.

"Because of what?"

"Because I am fucking scared!"

There, she said it!

Yes, she had admitted to it sometime but never to full extent. She always said it as a means of getting people to leave her. But now, she was fully admitting it.

"I am so fucking scared because I know if something was to happen, I may not even have control over it!"

She ran her fingers through her wild brown curls, combing them back. She brought her fingers back down to massage her temples with her thumbs, trying to calm the throbbing on her head. "I am so scared Mateo." She looked up at him to see that his features had softened. He nodded. Of course, he understood her. Who else could understand her better than the father of her children? "Our babies could get hurt! And they can't even defend themselves like we can!"

"You could have told me, River." He walked around the bed and reached her side.

She looked down, chewing at the inside of her cheek. "You are a dumbass." She said.

He let out a chuckle. She looked up to glare at him and he quickly bit his lip to stop the laughter. "You could have just confided in someone else then."

"I didn't want to bother them." She replied again.

"Did you not tell me because I am a dumbass or because you didn't want to bother me like the rest of them?" He asked, his voice once again void of any emotion.

"Of course it is because you are a dumbass okay? I have no problem bothering you. No guilt or regret whatsoever. You bother me way more either way!" River ranted and sat back on the bed. "Now I am going to sleep because I am hella annoyed."

"River!"

"WHAT?"

"Let's just talk it out, let it all out so that you feel better."

"You mean to say, so that you feel better?"

"So that WE feel better?" He emphasized.

River narrowed her eyes at him. "Why have you taken up the therapist role by the way?"

He gave her a flat look.

She knew that she was being extremely dramatic and immature and difficult right then but she just couldn't help it. She was annoyed by him and her hormones were all over the place. If there was anyone to blame here, it was the Capo himself and not to forget the great Aunt Flo, who was messing with her head.

"Because one, you can't go to the therapist and you know it." River nodded reluctantly as he continued to speak. "Two, we need to be prepared for the storm that is to come tomorrow."

Her shoulders drooped as soon as she heard it. "Why am I so nervous about this?"

"You don't need to be." He sighed and sat down next to her, both of them facing the wall.

"Okay, let's start from the beginning." He said. "Tell me your whole story."

River gave him a look, just an impassive look, none of the 'I am going to slit your throat if you breathe' message to it.

"Well, once upon a time a couple met and fell in love." She started, looking back at the wall. "They had a gorgeous little baby."

Mateo snickered and this time she gave him an 'I dare you to do that gain' look. He instantly stopped. Good.

"But the woman had a problem with her uterus and it had to be eventually removed, rendering that kid an only child." She continued. "But then she had a crack head to call brother. His name was Sebastian Shane and though two years older than her, he stayed by her side all through pre, elementary, middle and high school, college, job, children.... He was one of the constants of her life."

River gave Mateo a pointed look at this point. She was fully aware of the death glares this asshole sent her best friend's way and she was not okay with it, though she had to admit that she had found a bit funny in the beginning. River had full copyright reserved to glare at her best friend, and only exception was his own wife. Something like how Lucas feel about someone else pulling Kiara's hair.

"But yeah, we took hell a lot of bad decisions, ended up in Eric's gang curtsey of this stupid friend Sebastian made, Michael Jahn-"

"The Hammer." Mateo nodded.

River sighed as she nodded. That was the guy.

"Eric Richards was my first boyfriend by the way." She added.

That made him turn towards her, eyes narrowed.

"What? He was this ultra cool dude and I was only sixteen."

"He is five years older than you."

"My dad was eight years older than my mom. And they had one hell of a love story." River thought back to the time when her father was alive. Her mother smiled more often. She used to be more laid back and full of life. But after her father's death, it was like a part of Susan Johnson died with him. She was just a shadow of her former self who threw herself into work to forget her grief. In a way, the twins were a blessing who pulled her out of the darkness she had surrounded her with over those years.

"Did you have sex with him when you were still a minor? Because that's statutory rape." Mateo spoke up.

River rolled her eyes. There he goes, off topic again. This man got distracted so easily she wondered how he was going to do once he actually became Boss.

"Were you dropped on your head when you were a child? Because that shit's serious." She retorted. "And that was what, fifteen years ago!"

"You are thirty one."

"And you are thirty three." River rolled her eyes again. She did that a lot too these days, curtsey of the Italian man. "I would actually expect you to know all of this about me."

"I wanted to hear it from you."

"Ugh!!" She jumped up and turned to him. "Get out! Let me sleep!"

"Marry me."

You know that emoji, spirals for eyes and a wide mouth? That's probably how River's face looked at that moment.

"What the fuck Mateo?" River smacked him across his arm, completely shocked and annoyed at his sudden statement. Note the point, not even a question. He straight out said it as if it was an order or something.

"What?" Mateo gave her a look, as if she was the ridiculous one in the room.

"Are you pregnant? Coz I am ultra confused by your behavior right now! None of this conversation makes sense!" She groaned.

He was just watching her, not replying so she decided to continue after taking a long deep breath.

"Look, right now, focus on Mona Petrov and the imminent danger because that's the problem at hand. Our kids need a normal life, for that this has to be dealt with." He nodded. "I know you have more enemies and things aren't going to be calm and quiet once this has been dealt with but at least let's not pile up our problems."

He nodded again, a small smile on his face. What the fuck was this dumbass smiling at?

"And I want to move back to New York. I want the kids to continue going to school and I want to continue working because I thought I will be happy with a little vacation but I am going cuckoo because of the lack of shit to do."

He nodded again.

Why are you stopping then? Just keep bobbing your head!

The inner voice was just as irritated by this dude.

"And then we will think about where our relationship stands." River sighed. "I trust you, Mateo and I care for you and I know we are stuck together for life thanks to the invisible ridiculous universal laws of the Mafia but marriage is the last thing on my mind right now. And it's even more frustrating because there's nothing I can do to help right now."

He nodded, "See that wasn't so bad."

River raised a brow, her face scrunching up in confusion. "Umm.. what?"

"You just laid out everything that has been bothering you." Mateo shrugged.

She gave it a thought. Hmmm, he was right.

She leaned down so that she was face to face with him. "You really don't give off Mafia man vibes, you know that right?"

"Don't you worry; my Papa makes up for it."

"Great."

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"You know a normal guy would ask the girl to be his girlfriend before proposing marriage." River said out of nowhere.

It was some five in the evening and all of them were at the beach.

The kids were making sand castles, Susan and Lilith were with them, Jacqueline and Alessia were talking as they strolled around, Adam went to the public part of the beach saying he had to take care of his needs. Dumbass.

And Mateo and River were sitting on the picnic mat, eating the heavenly PB&J sandwiches that her mother had made.

"So you want to be my girlfriend?" He looked over at her, smirking and a playful glint in his eyes.

"Hmm.." River thought. "Well, let's be honest; we have trust, care and sexual tension between us-"

Mateo burst out laughing. "You know you can be very blunt sometimes, right?"

River shrugged. That's who she was and she was not at all apologetic about it.

"Yep." She said. "Anyway, I was wondering. What about sex?"

He coughed out his sandwich and turn to her, his eyes wide and watering.

Rive rolled her eyes as she passed him a bottle of water.

"You want to have sex with me?"

River raised a brow. Why was he speaking as if they had never had sex before?

Thinking back to a year ago, it hadn't seemed like Mateo was very bashful about it back then. What had changed now? Except the fact that they had babies together.

"Not exactly you dumbass. I want to have sex with someone."

He placed the bottle and sandwich down. "Who are you planning to have sex with, if not me?"

"I don't know. One night stands are my thing."

He gave her an extra sugary smile, one that Kiara gave me before she disagreed with whatever she was told. "Don't even think about it. I ask you to marry me and you are talking about having sex with someone else?"

"What? I haven't had sex in about three months." He yanked her by her arm and made her face him.

"Excuse me?"

"What?"

"I haven't had sex in over a year." He said it as if he was accusing her of something.

River gave him a confused look. Why? And then it hit her, like a bucket of ice cold water.

Her eyes widened as she looked at him, and he looked down, clenching his jaw.

"You haven't had sex ever since me?"

He didn't answer and just kept his stare down.

"Mateo?"

He finally looked up and said, his words emotionless and even. "How was I supposed to know I was the only one in love here?"

What?

What??

WHAT???????

And without another word or waiting for a reply, he got up and walked away and joined their kids, not sparing River another glance.

If this wasn't complicated, River really did not know what was.

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