Update: (2022 re-upload): I thought this note was very important to keep here as a guide for those who don't know or read this far to the story and question many things.

Also, just ignore the personal rant further below it's completely irrelevant now it was a long time ago!

This note is kind of partly a rant, and some of it will be an explanation on what I believe has been possibly miscommunicated. (Sorry I'm not answering questions on this note, I'm gonna save that for the chapters!)

OKAY so first I'm gonna start with the explanation!

So, I have received a few comments here and there about "well, this person is actually this..." Or "Grian is married and Mumbo has a girlfriend..."

I am 100% aware of that! I promise. I only ship the Minecraft personas, not the real people!

Minecraft lives can be very different than IRL personal lives. It's sort of like how you're one thing around your friends, and you're completely different around your family.

I am in no way saying that Grian and Mumbo's Minecraft personas are actually gay, or dating, I just ship them like how someone would ship two characters from a book!

By the way, I'm not trying to sound mean or anything when I explain this, or that I'm mad! I just want to clarify a few things that I think I haven't properly communicated...

If Mumbo or Grian, or both, were EVER to say that they were uncomfortable with being shipped with each other, I would immediately 100% take this down as it would be extremely disrespectful to continue making them uncomfortable.

I know there is at least one hermit who is uncomfortable with shipping (Xisuma) and I believe there may be a couple others. I avoid shipping them because I don't want to make them uncomfortable. I would also avoid reading any fanfics of those who are uncomfortable (which I really hope that there aren't any, I haven't come across any but I really hope that everyone is respectful of the others!)

OKAY I think I have explained and clarified what I wanted to, if something doesn't make sense or you have questions for more clarification PLEASE ask!!! I want to be as clear as possible what I am trying to say and that people understand what I mean!!! :)

Okay so this is kinda just a personal rant cause I don't really have anywhere else to put it and like I can't tell my parents about it. I can also say EVERYTHING here that I want because of the fact that (I'm pretty sure) I don't personally know any of you IRL. But you can ignore this next part if you want and I'm not offended if you do, I promise!!

I HATE EVERYTHINGGGGGG

well okay a lot of things cause like I don't hate this I love this and I love all of you!!!!!

I love my family but they drive me INSANE. They aren't supportive and refuse to accept that I am not straight (so I pretend I am straight) and they would absolutely FLIP if they knew I wanted a name change and to use different pronouns. So that's always fun. Also, they are literally turning my siblings into little LGBTQ+phobic children who will grow up to raise more LGBTQ+ families!!

"Oh, you should marry this boy! He's so nice and such a good Christian boy." I DONT WANNA MARRY A GOOD CHRISTIAN BOY I WANNA BE WITH A PRETTY ALT GIRL WHO FEELS THE SAME AS I DO! (okay so not that specific but I do kinda have a thing for alt girls or like alt nb people cause like they're SO fucking hottttt)

BEING A PASTORS KID ABSOLUTELY SUCKS. everyone has all kinds of unspoken expectations of me that I feel like I absolutely must fulfill! Marry a good Christian boy, raise good Christian babies, like a good homophobic Christian life and do everything your pastor says and listen for God speaking to you and just pray about it cause then everything will be okay. NEWS FLASH: ITS NOT.

You know how I know? BECAUSE I HAVE FUCKING TRIED. IVE PUT ALL MY HEART INTO IT AND IT STILL DOESNT FUCKING HELP.

I

HAVE

TRIED.

AND IM SICK OF TRYING AND NOT GETTING ANYWHERE!!!

School is an absolute ASS. I hate it. I feel like I'm so close to failing everything. Also the fact that I'm getting so many conflicts about EVERYTHING with it! One person says "oh, you should have everything figured out by now, what do you wanna do after high school? What are you gonna do with your life? Are you gonna go to college? You should go to college here. You should do this, you should do that! That would be good! Oh, you'll meet the right guy someday!" And then I have other people telling me the exact opposite. "Don't have everything figured out, it's okay. You don't have to go to college right after school! (My parents are essentially forcing me to). If you wanna do this, go for it! Have fun, enjoy your years as a teen! Sneak out to that party! Have fun!"

LIKE WHICH ONE IS IT??

should I have everything figured out? Should I not go to college if I don't want to yet?? Like I know it wouldn't be easy to go back to school after being off for a year but I don't feel ready to push myself like that yet!!

I'm not there yet. I mean, I'm barely getting through my last year of high school.

And the only things keeping me from unaliving myself right now are extremely limited.

I love writing this book. But, if I was smart, and ended the book with the right kind of ending, I wouldn't feel so pressured with this. I am in no way at all saying any of you are a burden and PLEASE do not take it like that! I swear this book does mean a lot to me!!!! And EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOU MEAN THE WORLD TO ME!!!

My family isn't really making me feel as though I want to stop myself from being unalived.

But like, I am a big part of many things... I won't name them for the purpose of anyone I do know irl would come across this (which would absolutely shock me). But if I wasnt around I feel as though I would put such a huge responsibility and stress on so many people.

The other thing is my friend group. If one of us goes, another one will go, which mean another one will go, and it goes on until the last friend would be gone.

The fact that I also had to say goodbye to my cat yesterday which was nearly impossible... that's also not helping anything that I'm feeling right now.

ALSO ANOTHER THING WHICH KINDA JUST IS A BIT SAD, A REALLY PRETTY GIRL KINDA REJECTED ME AND SAID SHE LIKES SOMEONE ELSE (which like theres nothing wrong with that and I hope for her that it works out) But like still sad :/

I'm sorry. I feel like I have gone on for too long now just ranting about my personal life and problems.

PLEASE REMEMBER I DO LOVE YOU AND THAT YOU MEAN THE WORLD TO ME!!! you are NOT a burden to ANYONE and if anyone ever says otherwise YOU LET ME KNOW AND I'LL BEAT THEIR FUCKING DUMBASS.

I love you all so much and please don't feel like I think otherwise cause you're all incredible

Anyways that's it for my rant...

Have a good morning/afternoon/evening/night my lovelies!!!!!