"He's miserable there. The amenities are lacking atrociously. He had to eat at a coffee shop last night. The whole thing's terribly insulting." Emily was saying at Friday Night Dinner.

"I hate that he's miserable." Rory said.

"So do I. We really ought to do something." Emily said.

"Warning, warning!" Lorelai said.

"Like what?" Charlotte asked.

"Well I'm glad you asked, Charlotte, because I have thought of a wonderful way to cheer him up." Emily said.

"Cool, how?" Rory asked.

"Danger, Will Robinson, danger!" Lorelai said.

"An oil painting." Emily smiled.

"An oil painting?" Charlotte asked hesitantly.

"I tried, have fun." Lorelai said.

"Yeah, an oil painting of the both of you to hang over his mantle." Emily said excitedly. "He'd love it."

"Well I guess it would be ok." Rory said.

"Really?" Charlotte asked glancing at her sister.

"Come on, it's for Grandpa." Rory said.

Charlotte sighed. "Fine." She said.

"Oh great!" Emily smiled.

"Mom, please don't make them do this." Lorelai said.

"They just said they would."

"Fine but don't make them sit for it. Do it from a photo." Lorelai said.

"A photo?" Emily exclaimed aghast.

"That's what they do at malls!"

"It's fine. We'll sit." Rory said.

"Just because your experience of sitting for a portrait was bad doesn't mean Rory and Charlotte's has to be." Emily said.

"What portrait?" Charlotte asked. "And why haven't we seen this?"

"They never finished." Lorelai grinned.

"Why?" Rory asked.

"Three painters started but all three quit." Emily said.

"Why?" Charlotte asked.

"She wouldn't stop scowling." Emily said.

"I was going for the Billy Idol thing." Lorelai grinned.

"Maybe I'll try that!" Charlotte grinned.

"You will not, young lady." Emily scolded.

"Well, it was worth a try." Charlotte shrugged.

"So, the first thing you and Sookie would do is incorporate." Luke told Lorelai as they were sat at a table at Luke's.

"Wow. Sounds big." Lorelai said.

"Not really. It just means you're a single business entity. You'll both be officers and shareholders, and you'll even get to make up a name for your company and everything which I know you'll love doing." He smirked.

"Oh I'm terrible at coming up with names. When we first bought out house, Rory, Charlotte and I wanted to name it but all we could come up with was the Crap Shack. Hence why our house is called the Crap Shack!" Lorelai grinned.

"Nice." Luke chuckled.

Jess walked over with the coffee jug. "Coffee?" He asked bored.

"Oh yeah, thanks." She said. "How are you Jess?" She asked politely.

"Well, I'm not bleeding or anything." Jess said.

"Well, then it's gonna be a good day, huh?" Lorelai smiled sweetly.

Jess just raised his eyebrows and looked at Luke pointedly. "It's 7:45." He said.

"So?" Luke said.

"So do you want me to go to school or do you want to openly defy child labour laws?" Jess said sarcastically.

"Go. Stay out of trouble." Luke said.

"Guess that means calling off the chickie run down at the salt flax." He said dryly.

"Out!" Luke sighed and watched Jess leave, shaking his head.

"Wow, so much love." Lorelai said sarcastically, still not quite understanding why Luke was bothering with Jess.

"So have you found a site for the inn yet?" Luke asked changing the subject.

*******************************

"What's happening down there?" Rory said as she walked down the road towards Doose's with Charlotte and Lane. "Hey." Rory said as they walked up to Dean who was stood at the front.

"Hey." He said.

"What's going on?" Charlotte asked.

"I don't know. I just got here and found this. I told him that it looked fake, but he didn't believe me." Dean said.

" Aw and you have such an honest face!" Rory grinned.

"Well, he must not love me as much as you do." Dean joked.

"Ok, you two are officially sickening." Lane joked. "See you guys."

"Wish I could come with you!" Charlotte joked.

A policewoman walked up to Taylor. "Everyone's accounted for Taylor. It looks like this is just some elaborate prank." She said.

"But it looks so real. Where would they get the police tape?" Taylor exclaimed.

"Kids have their ways, Taylor." She said.

"Who would be wicked enough to pull a stupid prank like this?" He exclaimed frustrated.

"I don't know. See you Taylor." She said walking off. Charlotte saw Jess standing across the street smirking as he watched the crowd. She smirked and nudged Rory. "I bet I know who it was." She grinned, gesturing over to Jess.

*******************************

Charlotte and Rory were in the kitchen at the inn helping their mom take stock. "I had a dream last night about us and Fran." Sookie was saying.

"Really, what about?" Lorelai asked.

"Well, we were all in the future and we were all old. Me, you, Rory, Charlotte, Jackson. But guess who looked exactly the same?!" She exclaimed.

"Let me guess. Fran?" Lorelai said.

"Yep! That woman is going to live forever!" She exclaimed.

"Ugh! That's so not fair!" Lorelai exclaimed. "Wait, did you look up angina? I forgot to."

"Yeah, it's nothing major." Sookie sighed.

"Ok you guys have got to stop talking like this!" Charlotte said shaking her head.

"Like what?" Lorelai said.

"She's right! We love Fran, remember? Fran is great." Rory said.

"Oh of course honey, of course we love Fran. We just want to know what God's little plan is for her, that's all." Sookie said. Charlotte and Rory exchanged amused glances and just shook their heads.

Just then Michel came in. "I would advise that you at least pretend to look busy, the boss is here." He said bored.

"Oh my god, Mia!" Rory exclaimed, her and Charlotte's face lighting up.

"You're kidding! When?" Lorelai grinned.

"I just spotted her walking in." Michel said.

"Let's go!" Lorelai grinned grabbing one of Charlotte's and Rory's hands and leading them out to the reception area.

"Mia!" Charlotte exclaimed.

"Oh my babies! I've missed you!" Mia smiled hugging them all.

"Did we know you were coming?" Rory asked.

"I didn't know I was coming." Mia joked.

"Oh no, this isn't a surprise inspection is it?" Lorelai exclaimed dramatically.

"Oh yes, that's exactly what this is." Mia nodded seriously. "Ready?" She asked as the three of them got in a line and she walked around them. "You're too thin as always." She commented.

"But we eat." Rory exclaimed.

"Excessively!" Charlotte nodded.

"And you're all too beautiful." Mia said.

"Oh yes, that's true." Lorelai grinned. "We often feel guilty about that." She joked.

"And I don't see you enough which is my fault, so you all pass." Mia beamed.

"Yes!" Charlotte grinned giving Rory a high five.

Michel then walked over to them and gave Mia a charming smile.

"Oh Michel, it's so nice to see you as well! And look at that suit! You are quite handsome, aren't you?" She grinned.

"Well I had a feeling that a lovely woman was going to be visiting today so I decided I must look my best for her." Michel smiled.

"Oh I'm sorry honey, I didn't catch a word of that." Mia said, her eyes twinkling.

"He said he missed you." Rory said.

"You've been in America for quite some time Michel. Your enunciation really should be better by now." She said, trying to be serious.

"The customers seem to understand me just fine." Michel forced a smile.

"I didn't get that either. Did you get the tapes I sent you?" Mia said.

"Maybe you should man the desk, Michel. A couple of people were looking for help." Lorelai grinned.

"Oh of course." He said sarcastically and went behind the desk.

"So, are you three too busy to sneak out with me for a bit?" Mia asked them.

"Only if it's okay with the boss." Charlotte joked.

"Oh it's a demand." Mia nodded.

"Let's go!" Lorelai smiled. She turned to Michel. "Michel, hold the fort?"

"It's slow now, so no problem." He said sarcastically.

"Michel! He said that he's never liked you and that you're a problem." Rory exclaimed.

"I said no such thing!" Michel exclaimed aghast.

"I really don't know where this hostility comes from, Michel. Can we work this out?" She asked, her eyes twinkling.

"There's nothing to work out." He said sweetly.

"He told you to get out!" Charlotte grinned.

"I did not!" Michel exclaimed glaring at Rory and Charlotte.

"Oh my! I don't know what I did to make him hate me so much." Mia sighed as she linked arms with the girls and walked out with them, Charlotte and Rory grinning at Michel as they did.

The four of them walked into Luke's where Luke was at the counter trying to fix his toaster.

"Oh look at this place, it's exactly the same!" Mia gushed.

"Actually, I made him paint it a few months ago." Lorelai said.

"Good for you." Mia smiled. She beamed as Luke looked up and walked over to them. "Oh Lucas, it's so great to see you!" She said fondly, giving him a hug.

"You too, Mia!" He smiled, reciprocating her hug. "And you're the only one who can call me Lucas, you know." He said.

"Oh I do." She nodded.

"I'm saying it for others who plan to try it later." He said giving Lorelai and Charlotte a look.

"Whatever Lucas." Lorelai grinned.

"Mia, you don't happen to know anything about toasters, do you?" He asked.

"Not a damn thing." She said.

"Well, then sit down and let me get you some coffee." He smiled.

"Coffee for us too please!" Lorelai grinned as Luke returned to the counter. "So, Mia, how's Santa Barbara?" She asked.

"Horrible. Did you know the damn sun shines all the time there?" She joked.

"Oh they've written songs about that." Charlotte nodded.

"Well, no one told me!" She exclaimed. "Half of my wardrobe is not practical!"

"Aw, that sucks." Lorelai said with mock sympathy. "Hey, you know that vintagey blue coat?" She started.

"You're not getting it." Mia smiled sweetly.

"Damn!" Lorelai said.

Jess walked up to Luke who was trying to fix the toaster again. "You're making that worse." He commented.

"Yeah big help, thanks." Luke said dryly.

"That's Luke's nephew." Lorelai told Mia.

"Jess." Charlotte added.

"Luke, that's your nephew?" Mia called over to him.

"Yeah it's Liz's kid." Luke said bringing over their coffees. "Jess, this is Mia, she owns the Independence Inn." He said calling him over and introducing them.

"Huh." He nodded.

Luke rolled his eyes. "That's 'Hello, nice to meet you' in slacker." He said.

"You don't need me down here, do you?" Jess said before turning to leave.

"Wait up!" Charlotte said getting up and following him. "You promised me that CD." She grinned.

"Huh, so I did. Come on up." Jess smirked.

"Cool!" Charlotte grinned following him upstairs.

"I'm sorry Mia. He's just..." Luke said not really knowing how to describe Jess.

"Antisocial, sarcastic, would rather be anywhere else but here?" Lorelai offered.

"Mom..." Rory warned, glad Charlotte wasn't there to hear their mom's description of Jess.

"Oh forget it." Mia smiled. "You weren't exactly a talkative boy yourself when you were his age." She said.

"Oh that's right, you knew Luke as a boy!" Lorelai said excitedly.

"I can't imagine Luke as a boy." Rory grinned.

"Can we change the subject?" Luke said uncomfortably.

"He would help people carry groceries home." Mia smiled.

"Aw, how very Boy Scout-y of you." Rory grinned.

"For a quarter a bag." Mia smirked.

"How very John Birch Society-y of you." Lorelai smirked.

"He was never without his skateboard for a time either." Mia carried on.

"Were you any good?" Lorelai asked interested.

"I could hold my own." Luke smirked.

"And then there was that year that you would wear the same shirt everywhere you went." Mia said.

"I don't remember that." Luke said quickly.

"Oh that must have been something flannel." Lorelai said.

"No, it was from that tv show, the famous one." Mia said trying to remember.

"It's not important." Luke said trying to change the subject.

"Oh Star Trek, that's what it was!" Mia exclaimed, causing Lorelai and Rory to laugh.

"Oh my God, oh my God!" Lorelai grinned, jumping up and down in her chair.

"What did I miss?" Charlotte asked rejoining them at the table having acquired the cd from Jess.

"Luke used to wear a Star Trek shirt." Rory grinned.

"Ah geez!" Luke groaned.

"You were a Trekkie?" Charlotte laughed.

"I was not a Trekkie." He grumbled.

"Sure." Lorelai said not believing him. "I do believe that denying you were a Trekkie is a violation of the prime directive." She mocked.

"Indubitably captain!" Charlotte and Rory nodded in unison.

"Look it was a gift from my aunt ok? I wore it to make her happy." Luke said.

"I've never wanted to make any aunt of mine that happy." Lorelai joked.

"I'm sorry. Did I say something I shouldn't have?" Mia said innocently.

"Oh no Mia, that's ok. I just have to cancel everything I have scheduled for the next three months so that I can laugh my ass off about this!" Lorelai grinned.

At that moment, Taylor walked into the diner and for once, Luke was happy about the interruption. "Luke, I need to talk to you." He said.

"What is it Taylor?" Luke asked, now resenting his interruption.

"I have conducted a thorough investigation of all the people who may have been witness to the phony murder at my store last night." He said formally.

"Goodie." Luke said sarcastically.

"There was a phony murder?" Mia asked.

"Oh yeah, the town's too dull to work up a real murder." Lorelai joked.

"But you're one 'beam me up Scotty' reference away from being the victim of one." Charlotte smirked.

"Mmm.." Lorelai agreed.

"Luke, are you listening to me?" Taylor exclaimed.

"Unfortunately. What's it got to do with me?" He said gruffly.

"Three people have reported seeing Jess in that area late last night, skulking, lurking." He said.

"There were a lot of people out late last night. I know because I fed some of them. I'll give you their names so you can add them to your suspect list." Luke said getting annoyed.

"Another person witnessed Jess walking out of an arts and crafts store two days ago with what appeared to be chalk." Taylor continued.

"How do you know that wasn't to draw with?" Charlotte chipped in.

"Oh he drew with it alright. He drew the outline outside my shop." Taylor said.

"You appear to be bugging me Taylor." Luke warned.

"What are you going do about it Luke?" Taylor continued undeterred.

"About what?" He exclaimed.

"About the results of my investigation!"

"Absolutely nothing, but thanks for the info." Luke said.

"You have to do something. People want action!" Taylor exclaimed.

"People, meaning you." Luke pointed out.

"Not just me. I speak for the Stars Hollow Business Association, the Stars Hollow Tourist Board, the Stars Hollow Neighborhood Watch Organization, and the Stars Hollow Citizens for a Clean Stars Hollow Council." He listed.

"All of which are you!" Luke exclaimed exasperated.

"So are you going to act?"

"Yes I am. I'm going to act like you never came in here." Luke said.

"Fine, but I warn you, there's gonna be a lot of unhappy people!" Taylor said.

"I look forward to it." Luke said gruffly.

"Oh, you're impossible! Impossible!" He exclaimed turning to leave until he saw Mia. "Oh, hi Mia." He said a bit calmer.

"Nice to see you Taylor." Mia smirked watching him leave. She then turned back to the others. "I really have to get out of Santa Barbara. I miss the small town theatre." She joked. "And I miss you." She said sincerely. "Hey, do you realize it was fifteen years ago almost to the day?" She told Lorelai.

"Yeah it was." Lorelai smiled.

"What was?" Rory asked.

"Fifteen years to the day since this skinny little teenage girl showed up at the inn. She had these two tiny little things in her arms." Mia smiled.

"The littles things called Rory and Charlie." She grinned pinching their cheeks.

"God, no physical reenactments please!" Charlotte exclaimed pushing her mom's hands away.

"You marched up to me, looked me right in the eye and said, 'I'm here for a job. Any job.'" Mia smiled. "Work experience none, recommendations none, skills..." She said.

"Besides flawlessly applying mascara in a moving car, none." Lorelai joked.

"I didn't have a single thing to recommend hiring her. Just the who cares look in her eyes...so I gave her any job. The other maids hated you." Mia laughed.

"Well they were all so slow." Lorelai grinned.

"You were special." Mia smiled fondly at Lorelai.

"Mia, why don't you move back here? We miss you." Charlotte said.

"Or at least visit more? You used to check in. You never come at all anymore." Lorelai whined.

"I don't have to. You've made me redundant." She joked.

"I have not." Lorelai said uneasily.

"Don't be humble. The inn is covered. Beyond covered in fact. It's never been run this well or been this successful. It's like your place now. Without you, I wouldn't know what to do. I'd be lost." Mia said.

"Oh lost, yeah." Lorelai said quietly, glancing at her daughters who also looked sad.

"Why do you look so sad?" Mia asked worried.

"Oh, uh, nothing." Lorelai said forcing a smile on her face. "Nothing." She repeated.

********************************

"Urgh how could I not think about telling Mia?" Lorelai exclaimed. "I'm such a horrible person!"

"No you're not." Sookie assured her.

"I should have told her! I should have told her the day we came up with this idea. She deserved that." Lorelai sighed. Her cellphone suddenly rang in her pocket so she brought it out and answered it. "Hello?"

"Lorelai, good! Your daughters are being impossible." Emily grumbled.

"They won't pose in an appropriate manner."

"We're trying, Grandma. It's just awkward." Rory said.

"Very awkward!" Charlotte exclaimed.

"Let me guess, they're wearing a silly gown on a silly grown with their hands raised in a silly way." Lorelai said.

"No just one of their hands are raised and none of it is silly." Emily said stiffly.

"Pick a simpler pose mom." Lorelai sighed.

"This was the simplest pose! And it wasn't my choice." She said petulantly.

"And your choice was...?"

"For the swans to sit regally on their thrones." Emily said.

"Swans? Thrones?" Lorelai exclaimed.

"Oh now you have a problem with swans and thrones." Emily said.

"Just make a change mom." She sighed.

"I suppose you would have Rory just sit in a chair reading a book and Charlotte with her sketchbook." Emily mocked.

"Yes actually. That's a great idea." Lorelai said.

"Oh please be serious Lorelai!" Emily exclaimed.

"I am! Those are the most natural poses for Charlotte and Rory and I know dad would love them." Lorelai said.

Emily huffed but relented. "Well I suppose it could work." She said.

"Good. And mom?"

"Yes?"