12/21/2015

chapter sixteen ;

♡

(well, my phone) blared, and for once, the noise did not strike me like a blow. My senses returned quickly, so quickly that I hardly believed that I was truly awake.

Today would be one of the two days of Christmas Break that I would willingly awake early. A glimpse at my cell phone informed me that it was six o'clock in the morning.

After taking a quick shower, I dressed in a gray, long-sleeved top, high-waisted jeans, and black combat boots. I pulled my hair into a high ponytail, and then hurried outside and across the street.

Benny's front door swung open before I even got the chance to touch the doorknob. I was greeted by a beaming Lynn. Despite the dark circles beneath her eyes, she positively radiated with a brilliant light.

"Oh, you're here!" she whisper-yelled. "Great – he'll wake up in about thirty minutes, at the very least."

Elizabeth stood in the kitchen, preparing a large breakfast: eggs, biscuits and gravy, blueberry muffins, pancakes, and – Benny's favorite – bacon. Lots of bacon.

"Wow," I chuckled, pressing my hand over my mouth. "I never knew all of that stuff could be put together. Thought there was some kind of law that said pancakes and biscuits and gravy could never go together."

Elizabeth was clearly as tired as Lynn – the two must have awoken much earlier than I. Streamers hung along the walls, and dozens upon dozens of baseball balloons were taped to the walls, and some had escaped to the ceiling. A large banner hung above the front door, reading:

I turned my bright grin on Lynn. "Okay, your family is officially the greatest family of all time. No one has ever gone through this much preparation to surprise me. Luke usually slaps me awake, and then lays on top of me, hoping that my birthday will also be my death-day."

From the kitchen, Elizabeth failed to stifle her laughter. She covered her mouth, and when she looked down at the stove, her dark, silky hair fell to veil her face as well.

Lynn grinned. "I'd do anything for my babies."

"They do the same for you," I pointed out. "Remember your birthday?"

The woman's grin brightened – which I had previously believed was not possible. In response, she touched the deep blue heart-shaped pendent at her throat – the replica of the Titanic's movie version of the Heart of the Ocean. I had given it to her in what felt like years ago.

Lynn and I moved together into the kitchen. Elizabeth turned her bright eyes on me. "Want some coffee?"

"I'm perfectly awake," I assured her. "But . . . I never turn down coffee."

Elizabeth smiled. "How do you like it?"

"Oh, I'll make it." I had already pulled a black mug from the cabinet. "You focus on the food. How long have you guys been up?"

"Ugh," Liz frowned. "Since four-thirty. Mom obviously likes to be very precise."

"Benny's an early bird," Lynn defended herself. "I didn't want there to be any chance that he would wake up. Oh," she sighed, "my babies are growing up. My Liz is about to go to college . . . Benny's fifteen. If Ben could see you both now . . . oh, he'd be so proud."

A small, sad smile formed on Elizabeth's face. "He would be. I . . . wish he was still here." Her voice broke, and suddenly I felt as though I were intruding on an intimate family moment.

Lynn nodded, swallowing deeply. "Things would be so much brighter than they are, I think."

Quickly I prepared my coffee, and then I set it on the dining table. "Um . . . is everything ready?"

Elizabeth took a brief moment to pull herself together, and she nodded. "Yes." She reached over and switched off one of the burners. "Eggs are finished now, so . . . All I have to do is make plates, and get the muffins out."

"So . . . could I wake him up?" I inquired, shyly.

Lynn's smile grew. "Yes, you may."

I flashed the two girls an apologetic smile, and made my way upstairs. Upon silently entering Benny's bedroom, I found it just the same. Only now I was introduced to a brand new sight.

It was different than waking up to Benny, somehow. That hardly ever happened, because he truly was an early bird, and I was the utter opposite.

He was sprawled across the bed, the blanket covering only one of his legs. His arms flanked his head, and his lips were parted slightly. In sleep, his face was softer than ever, completely devoid of tension.

Benny was a work of art. That fact had been branded into my mind from the moment I met him, but now it was clearer than ever.

After snapping several photos of Benny's sleeping form, I moved quietly to his small closet. It was extremely easy to spot his white jersey. Rodriguez was printed across the back in green lettering, matching the number 30 on the chest.

I slid the jersey on over my gray, long-sleeve shirt, and I was satisfied with the outcome. The fabric reached below the middle of my thighs.

Finally, I allowed myself to give in to my urges. Resting only one knee on the bed, I leaned over, supporting my weight by placing my hands on either side of Benny's head, and pressed my mouth against his.

He woke almost immediately. An odd sound escaped his lips, and I pulled away, eyes wide with surprise.

Benny's hazel eyes fluttered open, a gorgeous mixture of jade and a golden brown. His lashes were long and black – enough to make any girl's heart melt, and similar to my own.

"Oh," he sighed, a smile curling his plump lips. "I knew it was you."

"Who else would it be?"

His eyes brightened with amusement. "You never wake up before me." And then his features pulled downward. "Um . . . am I still dreaming?"

"No," I giggled, a brilliant smile breaking onto my face. I dipped down and kissed him again – this time his arms snaked around my waist, and he pulled me down onto him.

The kiss lasted for a few seconds, and then I pulled my lips from his. "Happy birthday," I whispered.

"Oh, wow," Benny chuckled. "With you here, I completely forgot it was my birthday. See how you distract me?"

I pulled myself upward, so that I sat on the lower half of his stomach. And I frowned down on him.

"You don't have morning breath," I stated, my voice edged with jealousy. "How the hell is that even possible? Do you brush your teeth in your sleep?"

Benny laughed loudly, reaching forward to grab my wrists. "I drink a lot of water, and it works for me, I guess. By the way . . . you look amazing in my jersey."

"You look better in it," I shrugged.

"I'm not so sure about that – " As he spoke, he pulled my downward, and connected his lips with mine. "Does this mean I can kiss you all I want today? You have to be nice to me," he reminded.

Again I pulled away, my mouth dropping as I scoffed. "I'm always nice to you! And you always kiss me any time you want."

"Don't be so sure," Benny retorted, in a matter-of-fact tone. "If I had my way, I would kiss you all day, every day. But I figure that would annoy you, so I don't."

A smile replaced my open mouth. "I don't think anyone would mind kissing you all day, every day."

"That's funny. I was thinking the same thing about you."

"Eh." I twisted over and dropped onto the bed at Benny's side. "There's no one I would enjoy kissing so much other than you."

"So we understand each other." Benny rolled onto his stomach, and wrapped an arm around my waist. "Want to go back to sleep?"

"You're still tired?"

"Not really, but I love the feeling of sleeping beside you, and since it's my birthday . . ."

"Oh, God," I laughed. "Actually, I was hoping you would come downstairs with me. Surprise."

Benny pouted, shooting me with his puppy-dog eyes.

I laughed, and covered his face with my hand. "Stop. It's not up for debate. I'll stay the night tonight, but right now . . . surprise."

So Benny allowed me, albeit grudgingly, to lead him downstairs. The journey was quite dangerous, considering I covered his eyes with my hands all the while.

When we reached the bottom of the steps, Benny said, "I smell bacon."

Elizabeth, who still stood in the kitchen, burst into laughter. "Of course that's the only thing he would pick out."

"I think there's other food, too, but . . . bacon. Kayla – can I look now?"

"Yup." Grinning, I removed my hands from his eyes, and moved around to catch the expression on his face.

He gazed around the house, wonder in his eyes. I quickly pulled out my phone to record his face (and sweep the scenery as well).

"Happy birthday, babe," I nearly squealed.

Benny glanced down at me, past my raised phone, and leaned over to kiss me. I ended the video, and the two of us made our way to the kitchen.

Lynn quickly forced Benny into a seat, where his plates rested. Half of one plate was taken up entirely of bacon, and the other half contained biscuits and gravy and eggs. The other plate was taken up solely by a stack of pancakes, drenched in syrup and topped with a melting square of butter.

Benny caught Lynn in his arms, and as the two hugged, Elizabeth hastened to set down three more sets of plates. I sat across the table, although not directly ahead of Benny – so that Elizabeth could sit there, and Lynn could sit beside her son.

Elizabeth set her own plates on the table, but before sitting down, she bent to ruffle Benny's hair and kiss his forehead, whispering, "Happy birthday, little bro."

Once everyone was settled, Benny held out his hands. We all joined hands, and Benny spoke a prayer.

point of view.

After the small birthday "party," consisting only of mine and Luke's family and Benny's friends, the house became quite empty. My mom and Luke's parents spoke quietly in the kitchen, leaving me and Luke alone.

As the time passed, I was slightly horrified to learn that my feelings for Luke only multiplied. Every time we faced each other, my heart felt as though it would explode – and it had been a while since I'd last felt this way.

There was something about Luke, running deeper than his model-like features . . . He was the type of person I hungered to know. The one bright star in an otherwise empty midnight sky. Unique. There was no one else like him.

And so in moments like these, in which we were alone in my bedroom, our previous conversation reduced to silence, I had to put forth extreme effort in refraining from my desire. Despite the fact that his girlfriend was horrible for him, he was unavailable, and I had to respect that.

I allowed myself only to study the light dimples that curved in his cheeks, similar to Makayla's, but less deep. His smooth, tanned skin – seemingly soft as silk. His dark hair, layered and stylishly tousled, somehow. The soft, careful curve of his lips, plump and pink. The way his eyes narrowed with his smile, also similar to Makayla.

Luke was a masterpiece, carefully designed to perfection – and I allowed myself to mentally acknowledge this, but not to act.

Although . . . it was quite impossible to push away the memory. I could never forget the way his lips felt against mine, soft and wonderful, the way Heaven should feel. Our lips melded together like a completed puzzle, as if his lips were designed to fit mine –

But I never allowed myself to dwell on my thoughts. The kiss had been a mistake – and although Luke had been the one to make the first move, I felt utterly horrible, even if Skylar did not deserve Luke, even if she had cheated on him. I'd never been the one to aid a cheater. But Luke was so different . . .

"Are you real?"

Luke's head turned to face me, tearing away from the screen of the phone. The moment the words escaped my lips, I felt the strong urge to sew them shut. Our conversation had died, and I had allowed my mind to wander too far.

"I think so," he chuckled. His voice was like deep velvet – it sent chills down my spine.

"Sorry," I laughed a breathy laugh. "I didn't mean to say that out loud."

Luke dropped his phone onto my bed, turning his full attention on me now. "Well, what made you say it in the first place? What were you thinking about?"

I doubt he intended to sound so alluring, but my mind was sent into a frenzy.

"Um . . ." I fumbled for words in my mind. Eventually I settled on a version of the truth. "Have you ever thought about modeling? I mean, it's unreal – if I believed in multiple gods, I'd call you the god of jawlines."

Never mind my extreme awkwardness – Luke laughed loudly. "Well, thank you. Means a lot, coming from you. You could be a model, too, and I mean that in the un-flirtiest way possible."

"I don't think un-flirtiest is a word," I laughed. "But thanks. Un-flirtatious?"

Luke crinkled his perfectly shaped nose. "That doesn't sound right. I'll stick with un-flirtiest."

A giggle bubbled from my lips, against my will. It seemed that anything he said could make me happy. The smallest jokes he made, even if unintentional, were hilarious to me. He made me tremble inside, nervous but joyful – it was an odd sensation, and I didn't quite like it. I felt more like a child watching her celebrity crush take off his shirt.

The boy's features pulled downward into a mock scowl. "Do not laugh at me, woman. I won't hesitate to torture you with the worst kind of technique – tickling."

"All right!" I gasped, leaning away from him with a wide smile. "Calm down, tiger. I was laughing at how stupid you looked."

Luke's dropped mouth quickly formed into a smirk. "Really? Because if I remember correctly," he leaned forward, pointing an accusing finger in my face, "you just told me that I am model material. So ha ha – "

Suddenly, sense completely escaped me, my body took control, and I cut Luke off with my lips. Colors seemed to burst before my closed eyes, tainting my rushing blood, my fast-beating heart with ecstasy, shocking my veins like electricity. I'd never felt this way before, except for once – and that had been with Luke as well.

Luke's light hand touched my shoulder, forcing me back to reality, and I ripped away from him, mouth dropping. He stared at me with wide eyes, full of shock.

"Oh, shit," I mumbled, my voice trembling along with my every muscle. "Oh, shit, I'm so, so, so sorry, that was an accident, I don't know why I did that, I'm sorry – "

"Liz." His voice was weak, and he moved slowly away from me. "I'm . . . I have to go, um – But it's okay, just . . . Let's . . . forget it happened. Again."

Luke stood, and ran his fingers through his hair. He was holding his breath, and unable to look me in the eye. Good – that way he couldn't see the panic on my face, the pain, the longing. I watched him go, breathing heavily and trying desperately to calm my erratic heart and force the lump down my throat.

It was impossible, his request. Both of his identical requests, of which we would forget that our lips had locked, even if only briefly. But I could never forget.

How could I force the feeling from my mind? The heavenly ecstasy, a warmth I had never felt in my life. I hoped desperately that I was not in love with him – because I couldn't just wash these things away.

After a while, my lungs ached, and I released a ragged breath. The pain did not subside.

Love did not feel good, I came to realize.

♡

eh? eh? thoughts? 😏 let me just say...i'm a little in love with luke. not just bc he looks like francisco (and now nate). never thought i could fall in love with one of my own characters. 😂

this is the shortest amount of time i've gone between updates with his book. i'm proud of myself, thanks.

also, after a half day at school tomorrow, i have community service with a bitch ass bitch. please wish me luck. please. i don't want to hurt someone, i really don't. 🙏🏻

August 3, 2017