《The Resurrected Romanov》Chapter 18 - Regret
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Anastasia sprinted through the courtyard, past the parterres, and the ponds until she finally made it to the willow tree. The secret was out. She felt terrible for ruining Maria and Valentin's love. Now her sister would hate her forever.
Dark storm clouds filled the sky. Anastasia was sheltered by the rain under the tree, and she stayed under for about an hour until she heard rain bouncing off an umbrella. Even though she couldn't see because her head was resting on her knees, she hoped it was her sister.
"Anastasia?"
It wasn't her sister.
"Are you alright?" Alexandra asked.
"I'm fine."
"Why don't you come back to the house. It's awfully cold out here." the old woman shivered under her umbrella. Anastasia joined her. They both started the long walk back to the house.
"Now, what's happened?"
Anastasia began their story. Alexandra listened to every word her niece had spoken as they walked through the parterres.
"Maria had told me to keep it a secret. I'm such a terrible sister. No wonder I'm called Shvibzik. Do you know what Shvibzik means?"
"Imp? Devil? I know a little bit of Russian." Alexandra guessed.
"You are correct. That's just what I am. A dumb imp. Stupid, foolish-"
"Anastasia, dear. You aren't a bad imp. You are a good imp! You are loving, kind, foolish in a good way. You make people smile!" Alexandra interrupted.
"But I'll never make Maria smile. We've already lost so much, I don't want her to lose anything else."
"Oh, Anastasia. Your-"
"I just don't understand."
When she had made it to the house, Anastasia sprinted to her room but stopped when she saw Grandmama standing in the doorway. She hid on the staircase, peering around its corner to hear their conversation.
"Valentin is a wonderful man! I'm old enough to make my own decisions about who I trust! You must stop treating me like a child!" Maria tried to explain.
Grandmama exchanged a few words and walked away from the room. Once she was gone, Anastasia tiptoed to the doorway. Maria leaned up from having her face down on her bed.
"Go away, Anastasia," Maria muttered depressingly once she had laid back down, her face buried in her pillow.
"Mashka. I'm-"
"It was our secret! Go away."
Anastasia now knew her sister would never forgive her. Maria didn't show up for tea or dinner. She had lost her appetite. She felt like she couldn't even get out of bed. Now she couldn't love who she wanted. She had her sights set on marrying Valentin. Now Maria couldn't - it was all because of her sister.
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Anastasia dashed to her room the second she finished dinner.
"Go away, Anastasia."
"Maria-"
"Get your nightgown. Sleep in a different room,"
"But Mashka-"
"Go."
Anastasia didn't know where to sleep, so she picked the suite next to hers. She dressed in her nightgown, lying her clothes on the chair next to the bed. She didn't even care about her hair or washing her face.
If the sisters were fighting, Maria was always kind and forgave Anastasia even if it was hard to overlook. Anastasia knew Maria would never forgive her. Overcome with burning guilt, Anastasia fell asleep.
As soon as the sun rose, the house was awake. The servants finished cleaning up the house from the previous day including Liesel. She entered one of the many bedrooms and was surprised to see Anastasia in its bed.
"Anastasia? Anastasia?" Liesel whispered. Anastasia slowly opened her eyes to see someone looking over her. She pulled the blanket up to her chest but sighed in relief that it was only Liesel.
"Why are you sleeping here?" Liesel laughed. Anastasia was silent.
"You don't have to tell me. I was just wondering."
"No, It's just- Maria, and I had a bit of a fight. Well, a huge fight. It's all my fault."
"I'm sure you two will make up."
"It's not forgivable."
Anastasia quietly tiptoed into her room while Maria was sleeping and got dressed. She traveled to the dining room to eat breakfast. The room was dark because the servants weren't setting out breakfast yet. She left the room, walking to that hallway she had stumbled across a day ago. She walked into the kitchen to see Oliver sitting at the table. Once again, reading his book.
"Hello, Anastasia! What can I do for you?" he asked, closing his book.
"Oh, nothing. I was just-um- wondering if I could have breakfast in here with you?" she mumbled awkwardly.
"Of course, Anastasia." Oliver pulled the chair out that was next to him. "Breakfast isn't quite ready yet but I suppose we can talk."
"Do you have any family? I would love to hear about them." Anastasia wondered. Oliver smiled.
He told her about his wife, Meg. They used to travel the world together. Oliver even told her about their time in Russia.
"I remember we went in June. Everywhere, there were newspapers about your birth Anastasia."
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Anastasia remembered that her Papa told her that her birth was happily celebrated with one hundred and one rounds of cannon fire to mark that the new royal baby was indeed another girl. Her family was disappointed she wasn't a boy but loved her just as much as the other girls. Finally, three years after her birth, an heir was born, Alexei. He was welcomed with three hundred rounds of cannon fire.
Oliver also mentioned that he had three girls. Charmian, Peggy, and Charlotte. All were close in age with the Romanov sisters. They all had settled down in London, where they still lived to this day.
"Charmian married four years ago. She has a daughter named Louisa. Peggy just got married a few months ago. Charlotte hasn't married." Oliver explained.
"Sadly, Meg wasn't around to see our two eldest daughters marry. She died ten years ago from pneumonia while we were in France for the third time.
"I'm so sorry," Anastasia said, her voice soft with affection.
"It's alright, Anastasia. It's just how life is."
Soon after, a few servants brought in bowls of porridge, along with a pitcher of milk.
"I'm sorry it's not like the meals you are served in the dining room." Oliver worried.
"Oh, no. It's very nice."
After breakfast, Oliver had to start work, leaving Anastasia by herself. She left the hallway to find Liesel, but couldn't find her.
With nothing else to do until lunch, Anastasia went outside, greeted by the cool morning breeze. She traveled across one of the bridges, made her way through a statue garden, and passed a small orchard until she finally reached the willow tree. She sat underneath but was lonely. She found it was unpleasant having no one to talk with. She longed for Maria because when with her, things were never dull.
She decided to climb the sixty-foot tall willow tree for she figured that would amuse her. Anastasia kicked off her shoes. It was difficult for her to climb the tree or even get her footing but she knew she had to try. She dug her nails into the tree bark, getting what little grip she could, and continued to pull herself up the tree. Her arms started to hurt, but she had to make it to the top of the tree.
Finally, Anastasia reached a thick branch at the top. Exhausted, she pulled herself onto the branch. She wiped her forehead with her arm and brushed the stray hairs off of her face.
The tree gave off a magnificent view of the surrounding area. You could spot the cottages on the estate, the parterres, the courtyard, and even beyond the house's gates. No one seemed to notice her.
About a half-hour passed, and Anastasia, still in the tree, could see a figure walking towards her. As they walked, she could see it was Maria. Anastasia's heart skipped a beat. She wondered if her sister had come to yell at her. Maria, not seeing her sister, sat underneath the tree. After five minutes of silence, Anastasia decided to speak.
"Maria!"
"Huh?"
"Up here!" Anastasia called.
"Shvibzik! What are you doing up there? Please come down."
Anastasia slowly climbed down the tree, careful not to fall. As soon as her sister's feet touched the ground, Maria forced her into a hug.
"Oh, Nastasia! I'm so sorry! I should have never made you sleep in a different room! I'm such a terrible sister!"
"No, no, no! Mashka, I'm the most terrible sister!" Anastasia hugged her sister harder. "I should have never told Grandmama about Valentin! Now you'll never get to see him!"
"Well, I would have had to tell her at some point." Maria stepped back from their hug.
"Things are good between us. I apologized. I said such awful things. She forgave me."
"What about Valentin?" Anastasia nervously asked.
"She explained she would maybe consider us being together. I think she wants to meet him first."
"Do you forgive me?" Anastasia stared at the ground. She hoped she would forgive her.
"Of course, I forgive you. I know it was a mistake. I could never be mad at my Shvibzik."
"Good! Things are so boring without you!"
The girls smiled at one another, held hands, and walked out from under the tree.
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