《Letters // Dream x Reader》23.5
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I don't know what it felt like the last time I was in love.
It's been so long I've been with him that he made me feel so- worthless and unloved.
When was the last time I actually had fun with him? I can't tell.
The only times I remember laughing with him was when we first met and when Niki and Mason were with us.
When was the last time we did something I like? I can't remember. It's always about what he wants.
And right now what he wants is for me to accept that he wasn't the one who got me pregnant at 17.
~
"GOD HOW CAN YOU BE SO FUCKING STUPID?! YOU KNOW I USED A DAMN CONDOM!"
"No you didn't. I was the one who told you to use it but-"
That time wasn't the first time he slapped me.
And that day wasn't the first day I added lines with a knife to my forearm, nor was it the last.
I couldn't tell anyone about this pregnancy- they'd think of me as a slut. And I couldn't get him into any trouble, I knew he was more powerful than me.
-
I think Y/N was starting to understand something was up, and I think she was talking to Niki about it.
"Mason you've eaten nothing for the past three days. You need to eat something."
"Don't worry, Niki, I've eaten at home."
I would always give them my best fake smiles, but they always seemed to see through them.
They would never but my lies.
_
At some moment it was my 18th birthday. I didnt even realize it until the two showed up at my door congratulating me.
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I could finally get an abortion in secret.
But that birthday ended up not being a nice one.
"Mason. You need to tell us the truth. We won't tell anyone just know that we are concerned about you. You've been acting like this for almost a year and a half and we've let you go with it for the time being."
"We can't let you lie to us anymore."
"What's going on?"
Their words made me break.
I started crying and told them everything.
I couldn't hold it in anymore.
But they were there for me. They comforted me.
They talked to me.
Everything was going good at that moment.
Until he walked in.
He was already 19 at the time.
He knew what could happen if people found out what he was doing to me.
And yet he slapped Y/N.
Niki called the police in another room.
I wanted to stop her.
I really did.
But I had to help Y/N.
She was on the verge of tears but stayed strong for me.
He was a lot stronger than her, but she didn't give up.
I tried holding him back, but he just did the same he did to her- to me.
_
I don't know how I survived that, but I did.
The only thing I could think about though, was if Y/N was ok.
The police had arrived at that moment and held him away from us.
_
The baby didn't survive.
But I was happy about It.
Very happy actually.
I wouldn't have to raise a child.
My mom and dad ended up never finding out about it, Niki and Mason kept is a secret as promised, and since I turned 18 my parents didn't need to be informed.
_
I started going to therapy a week after that and was diagnosed with depression and PTSD.
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I wasnt suspecting anything different.
_
Five months later I graduated.
_
Four months later Niki, Y/N and me made the decision of moving away.
_
Three days later we talked about it with out parents, and so did i with my therapist.
_
Two days later we were looking for houses.
_
Two months later Niki told us she wouldn't be moving to America with us.
She couldn't go wo far
But my and Masons college applications had already been accepted, and there was no going back.
30 minutes later we were all crying in each other's arms.
2 months later we were ready to leave.
1 month later we lost Nikis contact.
_
I now do remember what it was like being in love.
I remember the feeling.
It's like little butterflies in your stomach.
You heart beats faster around them.
Whenever you talk to them, you feel safe.
And that is what I felt around Niki.
Though, I am too scared to tell her.
But I think I will.
Sometime in the near future.
.
.
.
_
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