TW/CW: Self Harm

Another week passed. Cuts and healing scars littered George's arms and legs, and he was finding it more and more difficult to find a reason to stop harming himself. He hadn't talked to Dream or Sapnap since their call a week ago, and couldn't be bothered to check his phone to read their messages. He knew they were worried, he just couldn't work up the effort to respond.

He lay in his bed, pillows and blankets cocooning his slowly deteriorating body in an attempt to comfort him as he scrolled through photos on his phone.

He was crying still, but it wasn't the aching sobs that had been erupting from his chest over the past few days. It was the quiet kind of pain, the kind of tears that were silent but were so loud at the same time.

His stomach growled. He couldn't remember the last time he had eaten. With that in mind, George sighed and slipped his legs out of his bed, stumbling into the bathroom to wash his face. He couldn't bear to look at himself in the mirror - he couldn't recognize himself anymore. His skin was growing more and more pale by the day, and his bones were slowly becoming visible with the lack of nutrition his body was receiving. He dried his face and staggered shakily towards the kitchen.

A thin layer of dust covered his counters, growing with each passing day that they weren't used. Oliver used to use them every night, loving to cook for George. Now, his fridge was empty and his appetite was gone. George sighed, his chest tightening at the memories that surrounded him. Quickly, he snatched an apple from the bowl on the counter and a bottle of water before retreating to his living room.

He collapsed on the couch and pulled the blanket off the back of it around his shoulders, cuddling into its warmth. Glancing out the window, he noted with vague interest that it was raining, angry, dark clouds filling the sky.

His phone rang from where it sat in his pocket and without thinking he pulled it out and answered it. He immediately regretted his actions.

"George! I've been texting and calling you all week man! Where have you been?"

George blinked and glanced at the caller ID on his phone before swearing. Dream. God dammit.

"Hey Dream," he said slowly. "Sorry, I've been..."

He heard a sigh from the other line. "I'm just glad you answered, Georgie. You don't have to tell me what's been going on."

George exhaled a heavy breath that he hadn't been aware he was holding. "Thank god."

"Are...Are you okay?"

Outside, the rain pattered loudly against his window, lulling George into a sense of relaxation that he hadn't felt in a while. He closed his eyes.

"No, not really."

He talked to Dream for a while, dancing around the topic of George's breakup for nearly 2 hours before George decided to hang up.

"I need to take a shower, Clay," he laughed quietly, a small smile on his face, which had slowly gained more color as the conversation carried on.

"God, I know Georgie. I can smell you from across the Pacific."

George laughed and his stomach fluttered nervously at the pet name. He ignored it. "I'll call you soon, okay?"

"Promise?"

George hesitated for a second before sighing and nodding. "Yeah. I promise."

He could practically hear the smile on Dream's face.

"Okay! Love you, George! Talk to you soon."

"Talk to you soon," George whispered, before pulling the phone away from his ear and hanging up.

He didn't deserve Dream. A storm of anxiety and bad thoughts swirled through his mind as he took in the fact that he had spoke to Dream for hours, without once thinking of Oliver.

Oliver.

George picked up his phone and, without stopping to think, dialed a new number. He bit his lip nervously as the line rang before the call went through.

"The number you dialed is no longer in service. Please leave a message, or try again later."

His heart sank, though he knew deep down this was for the better. Oliver had blocked his number.

He missed him.

CW: Panic Attack.

The next day, depression hit him like a rock, leaving him breathless. He woke up in the middle of the night, sobbing so hard he found it difficult to breath, a cold sweat trickling down his spine. His lungs rattled with every breath that he struggled to take in, tears falling down his throat as his chest heaved.

Without thinking, he reached for his phone and dialed the first person that came to mind.

"George? It's pretty late, what's going-"

"Clay," George managed, his voice gasping out words like he couldn't bear to speak again. "Clay, please, I need your help, I can't breathe, I can't breathe, it hurts-"

"Okay, okay, okay, Georgie calm down for me. Calm down, take a deep breathe in-" Dream inhaled sharply to demonstrate and George mimicked him, gulping down lungfuls of air before exhaling quickly.

"Good job Gogy, now come on, one more time for me, deep breathe in-" they inhaled together "-and breathe out."

George shook as he let the air out, feeling his heart slow from the quick pace it had been beating at before. Dream waited patiently on the phone, breathing with George in harmony to help calm him down.

"Georgie?"

"Yeah," George murmured, sitting up in his bed and exhaling shakily. "I'm okay."

Dream laughed quietly. "You're not okay, Georgie. But that's fine. It's okay to not be okay, sometimes."

Tears pricked George's eyes. "Thank you, Dream."

"Of course. That's what I'm here for, right?"

George fidgeted with his duvet, suddenly anxious.

"Did I interrupt something? Were you sleeping or-"

"Nah, I was just hanging out with Patches. You know you can call me whenever you need me."

George nodded. "Yeah, I know."

"Do you feel better now?"

"Yeah, a little bit." George yawned and glanced at the clock beside his bed. "I'm tired."

"Get some sleep, Georgie. I'll stay until you fall asleep, alright?"

His heart warmed at the other mans thoughtfulness. "You don't have to-"

Dream interrupted him. "It's fine, George. I want to. Get some rest, okay?"

George flopped back into his covers, pulling them up to his chin and getting comfortable. "Goodnight, Dream."

"Love you, Georgie."

AN: i really hope you guys enjoyed this! i'm trying to write as much as possible before i lose any motivation i have, but i really mean it when i saw your kind words and comments really help! thank you all so much!! 💚💚