Chapter 26 - Lost My Mind

It's late night when I finally head upstairs. Poor Hawk was right because most of the group got drunk and left the tavern in a real mess. There were a lot of empty mugs and bottles and beer adhered on half of the floor and tables. Ban has fallen asleep right with his head on a table and Gilthunder and Howzer fell asleep, resting against a wall whilst leaning against each other with their shoulders. They would freak out if I'd tell them about their closeness tommorrow.

I have helped Hawk to bring the empty mugs to the kitchen so that we can clean them tomorrow and then made sure everyone was resting halfway comfortable.

"Really can't have a party without Ban ending up being all drunk" Meliodas giggles as we help Merlin walk upstairs, who ended up just as drunk as Ban. But since he fell asleep on the table, she could rest in his room tonight, so we carry the halfway asleep Merlin upstairs, supporting her on each side.

"Can't have a party without a messy tavern" I chuckle and take another step of the stairs. I look over at Meliodas and can't help but smile when I meet his green eyes that light up the dark area. Meliodas returns my smile and looks at me lovingly when we finally reach the top of the stairs and carry Merlin to Bans room and place her on the bed. I put the blankets over her and can't help but giggle as I can't remember the last time that Merlin was that drunk.

"I'm sure Arthur would crack up if he could see her like that" I giggle quietly and Meliodas looks at me in amusement before we leave the room.

His eyes tell me that he still wants to talk with me about the news of Zeldris but I'm still not ready and he understands just by the way I look at him. He wraps his arms around me and pulls me as close as possible to his body.

"Don't you worry about me, Meliodas" I say and slowly free myself from his hug and smile at him encouraging. "You're everything that matters to me. I'm just happy you're fine."

"I might be your everything, Yami. But in the end, I'm just your best friend. But Zeldris-"

"Zeldris belongs to the Ten Commandments and I am very aware of that. We knew he'd try to kill you at some point. But let's talk about it some other time."

Meliodas nods and turns around to see Elizabeth waiting for him in front of their room. I whisper a 'Good night' to him and watch him walking over to his girlfriend. Elizabeth waves at me and then we all head inside our rooms.

I let out a relieved sigh when I close the door because I can finally take some time for myself. It sure was great to spend the evening with Meliodas and his group but I barely had time to sort out my thoughts and controll this emotional chaos inside me.

But when I turn around, I see someone sitting on my bed and flinch at my own ineptitude to recognize this appearance.

"What are you doing here?" I exclaim and try to not be too loud. "Do you even know what would happen if Meliodas finds out!" I scold but then my mood changes. "Wait, are you here to hurt him? I won't let you near him so don't even dare! How do you even got here?"

"Jeez! Yami! Will you calm down? Take a breath. Do you really think I would've stayed here for hours if I wanted to hurt Meliodas?"

"You've stayed here for hours?" I ask confused but then shake my head. Zeldris is the last person I want to see right now, yet my heart beats fast and I feel a slight amount of excitement. "No, I don't wanna hear it. You have to leave."

"I feel so welcome" says Zeldris sarcastically.

I take a deep breath to contain the emotional chaos inside me. "Zeldris, what do you want? Why are you here?"

Eventually, Zeldris gets up from my bed and walks closer to me, impending and daunting. I try to not show any fears because after everything that has happened lately, I don't know what to expect from him. "You have no right to be mad at me" he says. "I should be the one being mad!" His voice is a mixture of a thread and pure madness and for the very first time, I really understand why he's the new leader of the Ten Commandments. But I don't let him scare me and keep standing straight in front of him.

"Why?" is all I ask.

"Why?" Suddenly he raises his voice but then becomes quieter again as he remembers that the others could hear us. "First you erase my memories because you ran off, then you attack me on the battlefield and become friends with me shortly after, very well knowing I don't remember you at all. And when my memories finally return, you confess your love for me just to run off again because I don't agree with you. You, a person I didn't even remember just shortly before because you though it'd be better to erase you from my life!"

Zeldris has walked so close to me that his face is only inches away from the mine. So even though he had kept his voice low, it was loud enough for me. His nostrils quiver and I can see how furious he really is. I look into his dark eyes and wish I could read as much in them as I can read in his brothers eyes. But his dark iris is just as impenetrable as the cold in the demon realm.

"I never confessed my love for you, Zeldris" I say and feel a sting in my heart. I didn't mean it to sound so rude.

"Maybe your lips didn't but your eyes did. I could aways read in them."

For a brief moment, Zeldris and I just stand right in front of each other, our faces only inches away and it seems like the only sound that can be heard are the pounderings of my hearts.

"Can you please stop running away from me?" he whispers and I don't know if he's still mad or just sad about my actions. Neverless, I already feel sorry for what I did. Zeldris never asked me for anything before. "I'm used to be left behind but I'm not used to be left behind from you. I've only been back recently, but since I've met you, you've brought nothing but chaos into my life. I can't get you out of my head and every time I think I've got the hang of it, you disappear and leave me behind."

Tears form in the corner of my eyes as Zeldris words touch me deep inside. A part of me doesn't want to show him the effect his words have on me but another part feels like I can trust him.

"It's not fair when you begin to cry" he whispers and whipes away the single tear that has escaped my eyes.

"I never meant to run from you, Zeldris" I whisper and feel the weakest I have ever felt whilst Zeldris holds my head in his hands and caresses my cheeks. "What are you doing to me, Zeldris?" I whisper as new tears escape my eyes.

"I could ask you that too" he presses out and takes a step closer to me. My back touches the door, which sends a cold touch to my body, whilst Zeldris' proximity exudes an immense warmth. Confused, demanding and completely upset, he looks me in the eyes, so that I almost forget to breathe while the tears continue to run down my face before he presses his lips on the mine, resolute and almost demanding, while he holds my face firmly in his hands. Yet there is a trace of tension, despair, and affection in his touch. And I can't help but surrender to him. My hands slowly move upwards until I can put my arms around his neck while Zeldris pushes me even harder against the door while we both try to put all feelings for each other into this kiss.

Breathlessly, Zeldris pulls away from me and looks deep into my blue eyes that no longer shed a tear. "You don't love me, huh?" he smirks at me.

I look at him in disbelief because I can't understand how he can be able to crack jokes in a situation like that. Zeldris uses this moment and picks me up in his arms to place me down on my bed and gives me a look that says that we need to talk.

"I know what you're expecting from me but I can't do it. For gods sake, I haven't even had a single moment to even think about what was going on! All I ever cared about was to get revenge because I didn't even know you existed! And when I remember you, you run off because I don't give you the answer you wished for."

"I never expected any kind of answer, Zeldris! I... I never expected for your memories to return! Since I knew you guys were back, I always feared what you were going to do. I don't expect you to do anything that I would do just because I would do it. But don't expect me to do something you would like just because you would do it."

"I don't know what to do!" he sighs and moves his arms gushingly. "I didn't know what to do when you left me. I had just found you again! I... I thought the next time I'll see you would be on the battlefield. I mean... after all you've said to me..."

"Well, you made it pretty clear how much you hate humans and every other person that doesn't belong to the demons."

"I don't hate humans! I'm here, with you! After all, I am here! And if you haven't noticed, I held back every single demon today so that you and me... that we have a day off to clear our thoughts because I clearly have lost my mind!" Zeldris voice rises with every word but he still tries not to be too loud and I can see how desperate he looks.

"You have not lost your mind" I say quietly and crawl to the edge of my bed and get back up on my feet. I come to a stop right in front of him, look deep into his dark eyes and raise my right hand to run it through his raven black hair.

"I don't have a solution, either, Zel. You're here, right in front of me with this side of you that I've never seen before and I know that this is you. You have not lost your mind! Things are just... complicated."

"Complicated, huh" he says and lets his hands wander along my body. His left hand comes to a stop on my waist and his right hand wanders up to my face. He puts a loose strand of my black hair behind my ear and a small, playful smirk forms on his lips while his eyes wander along my face as if he's examing every detail of it. I wonder what he's thinking right now.

"Things were never easy between us, hm?" I say and continue to move my hand through his hair. We've never been as close as we are now, but it feels so natural and I fear that I loose all kind of controll around him.

"Not at all" says Zeldris and still lets his eyes wander along my face until his eyes meet mine and stay there. "I can't believe how beautiful you've become" he says lost in thoughts and I blush.

"What do we do now?" Zeldris asks me sometime later after remaining in the same position.

I think about it and smile as I get the perfect idea for now. I free myself from his grip and sit down on my bed. I stretch out my legs and pat on the empty space next to me. A smile forms on Zeldris' lips as he goes to sit down next to me and grabs one of my hands and we intertwine our fingers. Just like we always used to.

"I can't believe you tried killing your own brother" I mumble sometime later. I lift my face to look straight into his eyes. "Zeldris, I know what you did to Meliodas."

"You can't be mad at me for this. I didn't even remember you."

"Does that mean you wouldn't have done it if you remembered me?"

"You're asking the toughest questions, Yami."

"I don't know what to do, Zeldris. You're so different around me but then I hear all those terrible things you do. But then again... Did you really stop the attacks?"

Zel begins to play with my fingers. "I know it's not much time but it should be enough to take care of your losses."

"How did you do that?" I ask him and watch what he does with my fingers.

"I told the others some nonsense. That you all would feel safe and that everyone could conserve their strength again so that we can attack everyone of you together and more quickly."

"And they believed you?" I ask and furrow my brows. They can't believe that we're that dumb.

"I know what you're thinking" says Zeldris chuckling. "But they just follow my orders and cared less for the reasons."

"That may be the case with the common demons, but what about the other Commandments?" I ask but Zeldris just shrugs, not willing to answer me.

2314 words