november 22st, 1990

'rise and shine, vic. today's the day' eddie said as he came rushing into my room

it was one o'clock, and richie would be at the meadows at two

i was still in bed, not planning on going to see him

eddie had been calling the whole morning, but i never picked up the phone,

until, finally, he arrived at my house

'why aren't you up, victoria? richie's gonna be here in one hour' eddie asked as he sat on the edge of my bed

'have fun. i'm not going.' i told eddie as i stuffed my face back in my pillow and pulled the covers higher up

'why not? you love him, and he loves you too' eddie tried to say, but i sat up

'love? is that what you call it? you think that he loves me? because, if 'love' means kissing greta, kissing max, and kissing some girl in new york, then YES that is love! but if that is love, then i don't want it! steve's right! richie did treat me like shit! richie did kiss other girls when we dated, and even if we weren't official, we were still a thing when he kissed them all! richie tozier is dead to me, eds. and i know it hurts. it hurts me, too. but it's for the best. don't tell him i said hi, because i don't'

'oh, you're right. i guess.. um, richie's there soon, i'll drop by later. sorry, you were right. it's not love'

as eddie left, tears dropped from my eyes as I thought to myself how much i wanted to see richie

he did hurt me, but i love him

and i want closure

i want to see his face and tell him goodbye, once and for all