shit shit shit

'steve, it's not like that!' I cried/yelled as I got up from the carpet in my room

'THEN WHAT WAS IT LIKE?!' he yelled as billy and henry stood behind him

henry seemed happy and billy seemed sort of satisfied too

steve turned around and yelled at the two boys to 'get the hell out of his house'

once they both left steve turned back around at me and was looking even more angry than before

'VICTORIA WHY HAVEN'T YOU TOLD ME YOU'VE BEEN DOING ALL THESE THINGS WITH ALL THOSE BOYS?!?!' he screamed at me

i was so scared, he came closer and closer to me as I scooted more and more into the corner of my room

i could feel I hit the wall as he was yelling at me

'steve! it hasn't been with other boys AND all we've done is kissed a couple of times!!!' I cried out again, begging him for mercy

'NO! DON'T GIVE ME THAT BULLSHIT VICTORIA!' he screamed at me louder than he had before

tears stram down my eyes in fear that he was going to hit me

'it's not bullshit!' I screamed back

'you're bullshit, victoria mia!' he yelled in frustration

he sighed, sick and tired of my so-called 'excuses',

his hands were glued to his hips as he sternly said, almost whispered,'I don't want to hear it anymore, tell me now. who is this kid you've been 'kissing'?'

i looked up from the ground and into his eyes and whispered,'richie tozier.'

'i'll make sure both of you will never ever have to see each other ever again! even if that means shipping you off to dad!' he suddenly got quiet as he realised what he said

i stood up and walked towards him in anger,'YOU WILL NEVER SHIP ME OFF TO THAT MONSTER AND YOU EVEN MERELY SUGGESTING THAT MAKES YOU JUST AS BAD AS HIM!! IT DOESN'T EVEN MATTER ANYMORE BECAUSE RICHIE'S MOVING AND HE ALSO HATES ME SO I HOPE YOU'R-'

i got interrupted by him slapping my face with full force as I then fell to the ground,

with my left hand holding my stinging left cheek down on the suddenly cold ground

then, steve looked at me with no mercy at all and said with a whisper,

'don't talk back to me' and slammed the door shut as he left the room

tears left my eyes as I laid there, on the ground of my room, knowing that everything that I loved was being ripped out from right under me and there was nothing I could do about it

'that'll be all for you today?' the man at the cashier said to me as he checked out the red roses and small white teddy bear I was buying

i nodded as he scanned the teddy bear and the flowers

there was a small pause as he got a bag to put the items in

'so who's the lucky lady?' he asked with a smile

'um, i'm the lucky one; to have her in my life. but I messed up a little bit so i'm hoping she'll forgive me after I give her these' I said with one breath

'sure thing' was all he said as he handed me the bag in trade for the five dollar bill I gave him

he handed me the change, but I said,'keep it' before running back out to my bike that was placed at the front of the store outside

i got on and used all my strength to get to vic's house as fast as possible

when I arrived, there were few lights on and I could here voices inside

i carefully sat my bike down on the concrete driveway, trying not to make a sound

i silently started walking towards the front door when I stopped,

i could here yelling coming from victoria's room

it sounded like steve saying something that sounded like,'don't give me that bullshit' as I heard that, I stopped going towards the front door and then tiptoed over to the other side of the house where vic's room was

i bent down and peeped through the window and saw steve standing with his hands on his hips yelling something at someone in the corner

'I'LL MAKE SURE BOTH OF YOU NEVER SEE EACH OTHER AGAIN' he continued but I bent down more and missed the last part in fear that he would see me and get even more mad

as I crawled back up and peered in, I could see victoria emerge from the corner of the room looking mad and sad at the same time

she then screamed,'YOU WILL NEVER SHIP ME OFF TO THAT MONSTER AND YOU EVEN MERELY SUGGESTING THAT MAKES YOU JUST AS BAD AS HIM!! IT DOESN'T EVEN MATTER ANYMORE BECAUSE RICHIE'S MOVING AND HE ALSO HATES ME SO I HOPE YOU'R-' before she got interrupted

steve slapped her

steve.

slapped.

her.

shit shit shit shit

steve slammed the door after saying something I couldn't here

minutes later I heard steve's car leaving the driveway

i was about to get up and go home when it hit me

she never locks the windows

i walked back to her window with the teddy bear and roses in one hand, pushing the window open with the other

she was sobbing silently while laying on the ground

i crawled in through and she didn't notice me

'vic?' I whispered

her head shot up and she whispered,'oh richie, I miss you so much. stop playing games with my mind

one second you hate me the other you love me

but it was all my fault

but it is all my fault

please come back to me;

and not just in my dreams,' while getting up from the ground

i came closer to her,'victoria, you're not dreaming. I am actually here; and I got you these flowers and a teddy bear to make you feel better but I have another idea' and hugged her

she whispered into my chest, her tears staining my shirt with sadness,'what's the idea?'

'let's get out of here'

she let go and looked up at me

'no, richie' she pulled away and covered her eyes with her hand

'we're just kids; kids shouldn't run away together. we just have to accept the circumstances the way they are'

'oh' I said as I backed up closer to the window

'oh' I said as I crawled back out of the window

'oh' I said as I was driving away from victoria's house and back to my own with the roses in my hand

i forgot the teddy bear on her bedroom floor but it was too late now

we're just kids

sigh

sigh

i wish she knew it was much more than that

and when we aren't kids anymore i'll still cherish her the way I do these days

but, knowing victoria, she'll move on to bigger and better things,

with bigger and better people

and leave the whole town of derry behind

and leave me behind