the last week had been one of the hardest weeks in my life

i had to sit and watch richie get over me and fall in love more and more with that 'max' girl

he never said anything to me, he never even looked

but i'm pretty sure this week might be better

i miss him

i miss him so much,

but he doesn't miss me

he's over me

and that's it

he's over all of us, really

the whole losers club

me, bill, stanley, and eddie

i feel like i'm drifting apart from everyone that means something to me

bill, eddie, stan, and richie

even steve has barely been home the entire week

i feel as if i'm all alone in this world

it was 4th period

lunch was after this

we had history

the teacher, mr clarke, was late

i had no one to talk to, so I just looked out at the chalkboard

'pst' someone said

it was the boy next to me

i turned my head and looked at him

'hey, my name is dustin and i'm new' he smiled at me, but he didn't have any front teeth

i smiled back, in need for a friend,'my name is victoria, so how do you like the school? have you made any new friends?'

he shook his head,'no'

'well, then let me be your first one' his head perked up as I said that

'really?' he asked

'of course' I brushed a hand through my hair

it was cute how excited he got

then, mr clarke came bustling in through the door,'alright everyone! get your books out!'

i looked over at dustin, his curls covering half of his face

he had a red, blue, and white trucker hat on and had a blue denim-ish backpack lying on the ground next to his feet

then, the bell rang and students poured out of the class to go to lunch

'why are they all in such a hurry?' he asked me

'it's lunch time,' I answered as I packed up my things and got ready to leave

'come on' I told him

'what?' he was confused

'we have to go get good seats at the cafeteria, so let's go' I smiled at him when he started to smile first

'you actually want to have lunch with me? don't you have a bunch of friends?'

i shook my head,'nope'

'well you deserve some better friends than me'

'no, I don't. and let's go!' I pulled his arm and dragged him playfully out of the classroom

we ran through the halls, running in and out of the school and throughout many people

i noticed that we passed richie and max, they were holding hands

i stopped,'victoria, what's wrong?'

i smiled,'nothing, and you can call me vic if you'd like'

we started walking again, and when we got to the cafeteria most of the seats were already taken

'let's go outside' I told dustin as we walked out the doors and sat on one of the many picnic tables that were scattered outside of the school on the grass

once we sat down, we noticed that no one else was outside

no one ever really goes outside

'so, dustin. what are you doing after school?'

he looked at me in surprise,'um, nothing'

he smiled

'do you want me to show you around the town?'

'sure, if you want' he smiled even bigger as I looked inside the school

i could see richie

max looked mad at him and was probably yelling but he kept his eyes on me and didn't even look at her

he looked at me

while I looked back at him

i could see he said something, not to max,

but to me

'victoria?' dustin asked me as I quickly snapped back to reality

'huh?' I asked him

'the bell just rang' he said with a smile as we both got up

'oh, yeah' we walked inside and I saw richie

we had theatre now

dustin didn't have theatre, he had gym so he left

i walked alone to theatre and sat down in my seat

richie walked in the classroom door and set his stuff down next to me

'hey' he whispered, none of us making eye contact with each other

'hi' I answered him

i missed this

talking to him

laughing with him

spending time with him

going down to the meadow with him

kissing him by the meadow

his sweet nothings that he would whisper in my ear when we were in each other's arms

being in his arms

being with him

being his

'VICTORIA HARRINGTON!' the teacher yelled at me, I wasn't listening to her

'um, yes mrs saddy?'

'it's your turn to audition for the roles with richie'

i looked up at the front of the class as richie already stood there and was waiting for me

i walked up to the scene, standing next to richie when she said,'alright you guys are going to act out the scene where veronica and patrick make up; ACTION'

i looked at richie and started acting,'i've missed you so much, patrick'

'veronica, don't blame this on all on me; we did this to each other. it's whats best for both of us'

'maybe for you, that's easy for you to say. you've moved on and i've never stopped thinking about you!'

'but I saw you with that guy yesterday!'

'but we're just friends! no one is ever going to make me stop thinking of you and missing you'

'i've felt the same way' richie whispered

'stop lying!' I raised my voice, continuing the scene

'i'm not!'

'yes you are! i've seen you and alexis be together the whole week!!'

'MAX DOESN'T MEAN ANYTHING TO ME! it's been you all along!'

oh my god he just said max

we both eventually broke the script but the teacher didn't stop us

'patrick, don't act like you don't care about her!'

'she is nothing compared to you! you're my entire world and I know I messed up and i've tried to fix things but I keep on messing up!'

'no, we both mess up'

'no, it's just me'

'for once I wish things were better between us and we could go back to where we were that day in the meadows! we were happy!' richie was sad and angry and frustrated all at the same time

i was too

'do you not think I miss that too?! I miss you so much and this past week has been hell without you but this will never ever work!'

'why, please. tell me what we can do to make it all better again?! i'll do anything for you; anything for us'

'no! this is just a repetitive circle that keeps on going around and around again!'

'well let's stop it then!'

'we can't stop it!! it always ends up with we fight, break up, make up, and everything's great for ONE SECOND and then something ALWAYS comes up and the circle gets going again!'

a single tear left his cheek as he walked over to me and hugged me

i hugged him back as I started silently crying in his arms

he whispered a soft,'i'm sorry' into my hair, which he was laying his chin on

if I could I would've stayed in his arms forever

but it was wrong

we were all wrong

we had to stay apart because we only hurt each other

i sniffed in his shirt, and suddenly all the memories came back

'shut it, tozier. i'm just trying to enjoy my summer without you flirting with me.'

'i'm not flirting, I'm just being extra friendly to someone who is extra attractive.'

he then looked at me and scrunched his nose while smiling, 'nope, I just saw that your bike wasn't here so maybe do you want to sit on the back of my bike and you can come to my house?' he pointed to his bike that I didn't see before with a hopeful grin.

smiling, I got on the back of his bike as he peddled back to his house.

we flipped around, so I pushed him on the bed. his hands were still on my waist as he fell, so I fell with him. it was nice, feeling so safe in his arms.

as my focus shifted from his eyes to his lips, so did his.

we layed there, looking in the each others eyes, completely taken in by each other, not aware of anything else happening in the world.

'rich, what are you doing?'

'vic, I dont want any of the creeps in derry looking at my hot stuff, so here, take my hoodie'

we both went silent as we looked into each other's eyes

richie whispered a small,'you look beautiful, victoria'

i smiled while tucking a strand of my hair behind my ear

'you're blushing, hot stuff'

hot stuff, oh how I loved but hated that stupid nickname

it reminded me of simpler times, when we were all friends and could joke around with each other

'promise you'll always love me' I whispered oh-so quietly into richie's shirt

'no matter what happens, I promise'

'WOW! absolutely breathtaking!!! everyone clap for mr tozier and ms harrington!' the teacher basically screamed out as everyone else in the class started clapping awkwardly

we pulled apart from each other quickly, wiping the tears from our eyes as we sat back down

we didn't say anything else to each other the whole rest of the day,

and I canceled my plans with dustin and went home alone

went home and cried the whole afternoon long

only taking pauses to reminisce of everything me and richie once had had

'victoria, you look beautiful'

'thank you, richie'

'you're the best girl in the entire world and I couldn't be more happy to be here with you, right now'

i slithered closer to him, and sat next to him and gave him a small kiss on the cheek,'all better?'

'it's all better when i'm with you' he smiled at me

with my eyes still closed, I brought myself closer to richie and laid there next to him, without a care in the world

'you look pretty even with your eyes closed' richie whispered in my ear

he grabbed and held my hands and looked into my eyes,'don't be, vic.' with a smile

i hugged him and tightly wrapped my arms around him as if if it was too lose, he'd leave me

he got onto his bike and I sat behind him, with my arms tightly wrapped around him

'i'll never let go of you richie' I whispered

'what'd you say, vic?'

when we got there, I could see my bike parked in his garage and hugged him tighter

not because I was scared of falling off, but simply because I didn't want to lose this kid

'victoria, I could never hate you or do anything to hurt your feelings on purpose' he pushed the chair forward and placed his hand on my knee

i looked at his gentle hand and whispered,'well it felt like you did, and it hurt my feelings.'

he pulled me tightly again,

and after a few minutes,

he whispered very quietly, almost as if he didn't want me to hear it,

'I love you, victoria mia harrington. I love you so much'

i miss him so much