《Mindlessly Wandering (Shinso x Reader)》Chapter 1
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The bell rang for school signaling that it was over, it was my last day as a middle school student. I was going to move on to highschool soon.
I decided to take the long way home today as it was the most scenic. There were cherry blossom trees that lined perfectly down the sidewalk.
This will be the last of out doors I'll see for a while...
I didn't want to go home that day...or ever again. I wish I could just run away from it all.
Better head home faster, I can't be super late.
I made it in time...right?
I cautiously opened the front door to my house and walked in.
I heard a crash and shattering.
He's been drinking again...
I tried to keep my fear from showing as my dad walked into the living room.
"Welcome home. How was your last day?" He asked calmly.
What's going on...he never asks me questions...
"I ASKED YOU A QUESTION." He shouted, which made me flinch.
"I-it was f-fine..." I said quietly.
"Took you long enough to get home. And why is that?" He asked walking closer to me.
"I-"
I felt a stinging sensation on my cheek as I looked back up at him in horror.
"DON'T LOOK AT ME LIKE THAT." He shouted again yanking me by my hair.
I tried my best not to show pain. If I did, it'd only get worse.
"You're going to go upstairs, and study up for getting into UA Highschool. I had 3 other children and the only one who was not given away was you. You were the perfect creation from Koto and I. I will not stand for anything less than perfect." He stared at me with his cold black eyes as I nodded.
He let me go and I quickly made my way upstairs.
"You don't get into UA, you'll pay the consequences." He finished.
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After I ran all the way up stairs, I put my bag down on my bed and started to angrily cry.
I don't want to be a hero...if it means being like him.
I opened up my laptop and began to research how to get into UA.
So a physical test, and a written test...I should probably study up on the written test first...
It'd had been a good hour and a half of studying that I had done until I had decided it was enough for today. I shut my laptop and walked around my room for a bit.
I stopped at my dresser and looked at a picture. It was my mom, she looked so happy.
I remember her telling me that she'd love me forever and ever...she lied.
Because of the quirk marriage, it drove my mom into madness, to the point where she killed herself.
My dad didn't even let me go to her funeral and his excuse was because "my mom had shown weakness and he didn't want it rubbing off onto me".
Mom...why'd you have to leave me...I'm all alone...dad sent all of my other siblings away, I have no one...I'm not allowed to make friends at school, I'm not allowed to go anywhere...
"(Y/N)" I heard my dad shout from the living room and break me away from my thoughts.
What did I do this time?
I cautiously made my way down stairs and saw my dad holding a letter up.
"Good news, they're letting you in based on recommendations. Don't screw this up." He said darkly.
I slowly nodded my head as he continued.
"We're going to go meet with the school tomorrow. Go to bed, I don't want to see you anymore." My dad commanded.
I made my way back upstairs again and into my room.
It was still light out and I haven't had anything to eat today. I listened as my stomach growled so I got up and opened up a secret compartment I had in my room to see if I had any food left.
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There were some crackers left so I decided to eat a couple of those, but very sparingly as I didn't have much.
I ate about 4 crackers which left me with 8 more. I decided that it was enough and went to go brush my teeth before changing and going to bed.
I looked into the mirror and studied myself.
Why do I have to look so much like him...all I see in myself is that bastard.
I looked away from the mirror and brushed my teeth.
When I got back into my room, I saw my dad standing in the door way.
Crap, did he find the compartment??
He turned around to look at me with his black holes for eyes.
He tossed me a wet rag.
"Clean yourself up. I don't want the school knowing what I do to you. Make your face less swollen and go take a shower."
I nodded and made my way to the shower.
I turned on the water and waited to see if it'd warm up.
What was I expecting...of course it's going to be cold.
I stripped myself of my clothes and stared at my reflection again. I had bruises all over my body. Not in obvious places as I still had to go to school, but they were everywhere else.
I hopped in, took my cold shower as quickly as possible and got out. I left my clothes in my room out of fear of my dad so I sprinted back quietly.
My heart dropped at the sight of my floor boards torn up.
He...he found it...
I felt his presence behind me.
"Care to explain? Why is there food, in your floor?" He asked.
I stared at the ground terrified.
"Do I not feed you enough already? I give you 4 meals a week. That way you don't get fat."
My breath quickened as I started to panic.
"I-I'm sorry..." I said quietly.
He threw me down on the ground face first then slammed his foot down on my back why holding my arm.
My shoulder felt like it was going to rip out of it's socket.
"Mmm!!" I tried to keep quiet but the pain in my back was immense.
"WHY'D YOU DO IT!?" He yelled.
"I-I was just hungry!" I tried to explain as he pushed down harder.
"I won't have a fat daughter. You'll be useless, and won't ever become a hero." He said as he got down real close to me.
"From now on, you get two meals a week. And if I ever find anything in here again, you'll be lucky to have scraps once a month."
He got off of me leaving me on the floor as he slammed my door shut and locked it.
Tears began to stream down my face as I quietly sobbed on the floor.
I'm tired of this...tired if this pain...I'm tired of this life.
"Why was I put on Earth if all I was going to feel was pain...if all I was meant to do was suffer..."
I felt all emotions leave me as I sat up.
I should just end it all...right here...right now...
Wait...
"I'll off myself the night before school starts." I smiled, when I looked at myself in the mirror on my closet door, I was smiling, but my eyes held no emotion.
"That's it. I'll make it into UA, and then before my dad can have his way, I'll end it all in the blink of an eye."
It's perfect, I won't suffer anymore, and I'll leave that bastard with nothing.
With that final thought, I changed and went to bed.
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My heart was shattered that day. It was on that day that I realized that life had an end, and that mine was coming. It was on that day that I realized that I was going to die. Leukemia, they told me. It's almost over. I didn't know what to do after that. I thought that maybe it would be best to die right then, get it over with. I thought that I could push myself away from all my friends, all my family, stop them from missing me after I was gone. I thought that I could handle it on my own, that perhaps the world was better off without me. I was wrong. So please help me, I'm dying. Save me, I'm falling. They tell me I won't survive. Please catch me, because if you don't, I'll shatter. I can't grab on anymore, I can't keep fighting. It's going to swallow me up. My name is Alyssa Gray, and by the time you finish reading this, I'll be dead. ________________________________ A few warnings and things to note: -I've put up the tramatising content tag due to a lot of mentions on death, dying, illness, and a mother who tends to be rather cruel. I know that I take a perspective that many will strongly disagree with, and I'm okay with that. Just be warned that this isn't lighthearted stuff. This is real, and death is real, and this part streaches beyond the fiction into reality. -I'm going to say a minor spoiler, but I don't want it to take you unaware because it is something to be aware of. At one point, my MC attempts suicide and fails. It's a very violent scene and I will put up the gore tag after writing this, and it's also just really depressing. If this will be triggering, you need to be aware of this before you read it. -This is a christian book. It may go against some of your beliefs. I hope that you can read and comment anyway even if some of it does not sit well with you. Credits for the cover go to the user 'Media in Sanity'. Your help and assitance has meant so much to me, God bless you in your writing and your endevours. A proud member of WriTE. I've promised to finish this fiction and update it at least once a month. My schedule is very irregular, and I'm working on that, but I'm going to do everything I can to make sure that this book stays out there. I'm not ending it until it's done.
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