So... Yeah. After a few more bone chilling

missions, we stopped at a neat sandwich place for our break. I looked over my notes and sulked. I had fucked up the last mission by putting a red flag down instead of an orange one. I had to explain to two pro hero's that nothing was that urgent.

All would be fine if I could have just found the damn undo button.

I cringed remembering how the pro heros spoke to me. When Mr. Nickoletti walked over to me after the mission, I opened the door in the back of the van and told him what happened.

He chuckled, "As long as you undid it, I don't see a problem."

"Um... I couldn't find an undo button."

"What?" He bit his lip and pulled into a driveway, "Shit, shit, shit- How long ago?"

"Like fo-"

"More than 3 minutes ago?"

"Yes, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I didn't mean to but when I heard the gun shot I jumped and clicked the red-"

"Hush for a minute. Hello? Yes, who arrived on the scene at Marshal avenue and jumper street? Yes ma'am. Turning around now."

I bit my lip to try to distract myself from the embarrassment. What made it even worse was Mr. Ito

was totally cool about it. He even offered to buy me lunch because he knew how bad I felt, accidentally making the guilt worse.

He came back with two sandwiches and set mine in front of me. My face flushed under his gaze.

"Look, you didn't get proper training! It's fine. You made a mistake and to be honest, those heroes had a stick up their ass."

"Thank you", I took a drink of my tea, shame clearly evident in my voice.

"Also, about earlier, when I questioned you about your lover, I didn't mean to cross any lines. It's just- you remind me of my niece. You have the same spirit, you know?"

"Oh- no it's okay, I didn't take it that way."

"Alright, Mrs. (L/n). Time to get back to work", He looked at his watch and crumpled his sandwich wrapper.

We made a few more stops, where I made a few more fumbles, but not as bad as the first one, though. I went to my shared office where my things were moved. I looked at my filled out time sheet and sighed. I technically didn't have to go to Hawks's office to give it to him, I could give it to Gabriella. But I wanted to talk to him.

I felt a little nervous, seeing as my time sheet had to include "watched me get scolded by two heros".

I carried myself to the office with heavy limbs. I bit my lip and held my hand over the door to knock. The tension was almost as real as the last time I opened a door to find Hawks. I guess this is different though. I know he's in there and there shouldn't be any bodies.

I chuckled at the memory before forcing myself to knock.

"Come in."

Still stiff as a board, I pushed the door open. Hawks was looking at his computer.

"Um... I have todays time sheet."

"Set it on my desk", he replied emotionlessly.

I walked forward and put it on the desk, mentally begging him to make eye contact with me.

"Is that all?"

"Actually, no." I hesitated. "Are you- are you- doing okay?"

He looked away from the computer and looked at me with sharp eyes. The tension in the room increased ten fold and I fidgeted with my sleeve.

"I'm fine."

I frowned. "You seem a little distant. And, well- I can tell somethings up."

"Look, (y/n). I think we should keep our relationship professional. I am your boss and you are my employee."

I felt my heart sink and my face flushed a bit with embarrassment.

"But-"

"Do you remember the fireworks?"

I paused. "...Yes."

"Well then, you remember me talking about being owned? About me being here to do my job?"

"Yes."

He looked at me with his eyes looked as they used to be.

"Well, it's not just that. My job is to save people, not hanging out with people, no matter how alluring."

The more he talked the more I started to bristle.

Hawks kept talking. "Besides all of the business stuff, it's also personal. You've gotten the closest, I'll give you that. But enough is enough. We had our fun, now keep doing your job."

"You don't get to do that."

He raised his eyebrows in a lazy way. "I'm sorry?"

"No. You're the one who slept at my place. You're the one who got me the job. You're the one who took me to a party as a plus one. The date. The other date. Hell, Hawks, you kissed me. You bought me a freakin' house!"

"I know, and I'm sorry. You deserve better than some wishy-washy emotionally recked hero."

"You can't do all of that then just walk away."

"Look, (y/n), we can't be that close. If you got close to me, you'd hate what you'd find."

My heart was still in my stomach and I felt like I was about to cry.

"Why won't you let me decide?"

He chuckled darkly. "You would run faster than I can fly. Believe me. Everyone else did."

I bit my cheek to stop the tears. "I know this isn't what you want."

He stood up intimidatingly and I took a small step back. He leaned forward and splayed his fingers out on the desk. "You don't know what I want. You like me because you like the idea of me. Now I'm only going to ask nicely once. Please emotionally remove yourself from my life."

"Hawks-"

"(Y/n). Piss off", he said with a growl.

That was it for me. The hurt must have been painted all over my face but there was also rage. I was mad at him for leading me on. I was mad that he was trying to decide my feelings for me. I was mad he fucking talked to me like that. I stormed around to his side of the desk and he turned to meet me.

We were about a foot from each other and he still had that dead look in his face. I glared at him while trying to control myself.

"Hey. I don't deserve that bullshit. You don't get to choose for me. If you don't want something with me, that's fine but you don't-", I poked his chest, "-get to tell me how I think. You don't-"

Poke.

"-get to kiss me then leave when you don't feel like being around me anymore. You do not-",

Poke.

"-get to talk to me like that. I haven't done anything to deserve it. "

The look on his face hadn't even twitched as he took my words. By now, angry hot tears were rolling down my face at a slow and steady rate. I put my hand down and looked to the ground. My shoulders slumped and I help my face in my hands.

"You know what? Fine. See you later, boss."

As I walked out of the door I could see his face change from expressionless to sorrow. But I didn't care. I'm not going to let him treat me like a toy to be disregarded when he's done playing with me.

Not all of my stuff had been moved from my office so I went in there for some quiet time. I sat at my nearly empty desk and stared blankly at the papers as tears rolled down my face.

I started gathering some stuff so I could take it home, my new job not giving me an office because of how much I moved around. I was about to put a stack of papers in a box to take to my car, when a paper fell onto the floor. I stopped down to pick it up. It was the bullet-pointed set of notes I made about Hawks.

Hawks.

-tortured hero complex

-low self-esteem?

-lonely

-guilty (about what?)

-touch starved

Looking at it made my heart soften a bit.

It's not all his fault for pushing me away. He has a lot of demons. I should've been more patient. He didn't deserve that.

But then I felt the earlier rage.

Everyone has skeletons, but that doesn't give him an excuse to treat you like he did.

I looked back at the note.

I don't know what he's gone through.

I sighed, crumpled the paper, and shoved it in my pockets. Don't want anybody seeing that.

I felt conflicted. How can I trust my own mind? Am I making excuses for him because I like him? Or are they valid reasons..? I needed someone to talk to.

I walked to the elevator with my box of stuff. Right when the doors were almost shut, I heard, "Wait! Hold the door!"

I stuck my foot in between the doors and put the box down so I could push the door open.

"Thank you so much- hey! (Y/n), right?"

Lucy had pressed the button to the lobby and fixed her purse.

"Yep, that's me. Lucy?"

She giggled, "You remember! Hey, so whatcha been up to, huh?"

I forgot how bubbly she was.

"Oh, just work things."

An idea popped into my head.

"Hey, I know we don't really talk much and all, but do you want to go get dinner together?"

"Oh that sounds awesome! Free food! Are we eating now?"

"If you're hungry", I shifted the box.

The elevator door opened and we both walked out.

"Sounds good. I have this really good sushi place in mind, I'll text you the address. I want to go home and get out of these clothes first", she laughed.

"Sure."

We traded phone numbers and walked to our cars. Little to our knowledge, we parked next to each other.

"Can't wait to see you there! Then you can tell me what's wrong!"

I was about to politely reply when I stopped.

"Uh... Yeah, see you soon."

She smiled a knowing smile and pulled out. I went home after and plopped my stuff on my table. I put on some jeans and a comfortable shirt. By then, I had already got the message from Lucy and was in my way.

I wass till a little confused over how she knew something something was wrong. I hadn't been crying long enough for my face to give it away. I checked before I left to make sure that it wasn't obvious.

I parked and walked inside to see Lucy waving at me from a table. I walked over and sat down.

"Hey, (y/n)! Did you know that their rainbow rolls are fantastic? They tweaked the recipe a bit from the normal one and it is am-ay-zing."

I chuckled at how animated she was. We made small talk until we ordered out food.

"So what happened? You don't have to tell me if you don't want to but honey! Something not right."

"Actually, before I say anything, how did you know I was upset?"

"Oh. I'm an empath."

"Oh. Cool. Well then, it's just- someone really close to me has been flirting with me for a while. We've gone on a few dates and he's slept over a few times."

She nodded eagerly while sipping her green tea.

"And well... We kissed last night for the first time and... He's been avoiding me ever since. I went to see what the problem was and they said that they didn't want to even be friends anymore. Just business. I got mad. But I don't know if I should have."

"What do you mean?" Lucy cocked her head.

"I mean, they haven't told me about their past, but I have reason to believe that it was dark, y'know?"

"Oooh I see. Patience is always good to respond with, but I can see how that might be difficult in a heated situation."

"I just- they think they're doing it for me. They said I deserve someone better. But I don't want someone else-"

"Rainbow roll", a waiter put a plate in front of Lucy and gave me my plate too.

He looked... Interesting. He was obviously still in high school by the looks of it. The blonde turned to wink at me and I saw a lightning bolt on one side of his hair.

"Let me know if you pretty ladies need anything, okay?"

"Okay!" Lucy beamed.

I split my chopsticks and ate. Lucy seemed to finish her food in three bites.

"I'm sorry you and your significant other fought. That's rough. But I think if you really like this person and you want a relationship, you should talk to them later and tell them how you feel, and how they make you feel."

"Thanks for listening. I know it was random for me to talk to you all of a sudden. Sorry for dumping on you."

"Oh my gosh, no problem! You're too cute. We should hang out more often."

"Yeah. I'd like that."

The rest of the dinner was us talking about mundane things, passing the time, all that fun stuff. I really liked hanging out with Lucy. I never really made any close friends, save Ashlyn. It's cool to have more than her and some co-workers. I'm no longer flat broke so I have time to hang out with people.

We talked for so long, and I eventually came to a conclusion.

Both of us were at fault. One of us for being rude and leading the other on. One for reaction the way they did to be in pushed away.

My plan was to let things cool down and talk later. Either way, I need to be there for him.