His first memories were unclear and messy; Loud streets, the smell of gasoline and ravenous darkness.

When someone reached out for his small hand and pulled him out of the darkness, he had no chance but to take it. He remembers dark, warm eyes and large, meaty fingers.

"I took you in. I saved you." The man had spoken, "Do you know what this means?"

The little boy, only five years old but unable to talk yet, shook his head, eyes opened wide.

"You need to repay me now, little one." Those eyes looked so warm and friendly, like chocolate or warm tea, "You owe me now."

But what could he possibly give?

__

The little boy stared at his naked feet, where the dead pigeon remained motionless, fresh blood pooling out of the wound on its stomach. The knife in his fragile hand tumbled onto the ground with a shattering sound. He felt sick, acidic taste on his tongue vaguely warning him that he was about to throw up.

But then there was a warm, large hand on his shoulder and a fatherly voice praising him, "Well done, Jungkook. Well done. That's the first step. If you're over this, you can do anything."

"W-" The boy struggled to form the word in his mouth, pinching his eyes together in concentration, "W-Why?"

The man kneeled down next to him, smile somewhat comforting to poor, misguided little Jungkook, "Because you have to learn to not have regrets, little one. You can learn this for me, right? Remember you owe me."

And oh, five-year-old Jungkook wanted to repay him. He wanted to give him the world if only he could.

__

"Fuck you. Fuck you. Fuck y-" The hand made contact with his face one more time and fourteen-year old Jungkook spat blood onto the ground, glaring up at the annoyed looking fuckface that had him cornered.

"Dino won't like you talking like that." He warned, making an annoyingly belittling tsk sound.

"As if I care what this fat baldy has to say." Jungkook spat back, rage making his fingers twitch. His eyes fell onto the scythe in the back of the room. He could probably take the guy in front of him, albeit their immense height difference.

"Jungkook, don't be silly." Said fat baldy's voice thundered through the room, the boy's body going lax immediately, "Is that how you show your gratitude? Is that how I raised you?"

The boy lowered his head, shaking it ashamed.

"Quit the childish act, concentrate on your work instead." Dino said calmly, those dark, warm eyes of his resting on Jungkook for a while, before he turned to his ugly little henchman, "You can go now."

Jungkook stared at the two men leave, not understanding what was happening inside him lately.

He wanted to pay Dino back tenth wise, still. He wanted to thank him and do everything he asks him to do. Wanted to keep getting rid of all these people that were inconveniencing the man that saved him from the streets.

But he also wanted to get away from him, as far away as possible. He was sick and tired of being chained to him like a dog, right where this man could make him do whatever he pleased.

But he didn't get away. Not the year after and not the year after that year either. In the nineteen long years he lived at the mercy of this tyrant, he never had the balls to just get away.

He stole, he killed, he committed the most atrocious of sins. But he remained nothing but the weak, five year old boy that had been about to die on the streets, in front of this man, with his warm smile and dark eyes, that looked like hot chocolate or tea.

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He was twenty four when it happened.

People around him transforming into ugly creatures. He witnessed the people he had grown up with, that he'd been raised by, being torn into pieces by these monsters.

When he entered Dino's office and saw him molding into another of these creatures he didn't do anything. He just watched while giddy, happy excitement made its way into his system.

"So this is why you reacted so weirdly when I was talking about how we need to repay their favor." I dragged my knees up to my chest, the brittle balcony we had settled on giving me a nice view over the city, that was drenched in the orange light of a slowly setting sun.

Jungkook's lips twitched, "You remember that?"

"Of course I do. I thought it was strange back then." I used a chipped concrete piece to scratch random letters into the stone underneath us, processing the story Jungkook just finished telling me, "So... he made you kill people." It was a mere conclusion, "And he trained you to do it."

"Mhm." He hummed, sounding wary while he side eyed me.

"And he never cared to teach you how to read? That's messed up."

Jungkook snorted, "That's your biggest worry here? I was like, a fuckin' assassin or somethin' and you go 'oh but reading is important :c'?"

I shrugged, leaning back against my elbows, "Hey, I was just thinking out loud, okay?"

Jungkook nodded, taking the concrete piece out of my hand to scratch something into the ground himself - it looked like a little butterfly.

"You know... if you'd told me earlier... like not even the whole story but parts of it..." I looked at him, watching how his eyebrow arched in a concentrated scowl while he added more butterflies. I thought of Byul and Yoongi and how he had acted towards them, "I would've understood why you don't like being, like, with other people. Because I get it now. It makes sense that you'd rather... not get chained to another place again."

He flinched slightly, broad shoulders dropping as the concrete piece dropped out of his hand, rolling over the stone til it fell off the balcony, "No. It's messed up that I enjoy all of this here and it's not fair to you."

I looked at him for moment, before turning back to the sunset in front of me, "Maybe."

He didn't say anything more, opting to watch the orange light turn into fiery red with me in silence.

"But Jungkook..." I sat up again, arms coming up to hug my knees while I rested my chin on top of them, "Why am I okay? Like, why are you okay to have me around?"

Jungkook chuckled, kicking another stone off the balcony, "I told ya I care for you." That wasn't exactly the answer I'd looked for and he knew it, "Well, y' see Chickie- I told you, if I can help people by killing some shitty prowlers, I will. I don't wanna, like, repent for my sins or some stupid shit, I really don't care 'bout that. But when I saw you I wanted to help you and then we spent more time together and I realized that I've never had a friend. It was like... realizin' you miss something you never even knew you needed, ya know?" He then nudged my side with a grin, "Plus, you weren't exactly what I'd call threatening to my freedom."

"Shut up." I rolled my eyes, finally slumping backwards onto my back staring up at the dirty ceiling above us, "It's nice to know that I made you wanna have a friend though."

Jungkook laid down next to me, chin resting in the palm of his hand while he looked down on me, smile on his lips borderline teasing, "You know you're the only person I care about, other than me?"

"Ah yes, I feel so honored." I rolled my eyes.

Jungkook laughed, other hand coming up to idly trace the skin over my collar bone, "You should, you know?"

"Yeah, sure." I was about to make another smart comment when Jungkook suddenly dropped the hand in which his chin had been resting in, upper body leaning forward until he was half on top of me, arms slipping underneath my shoulders to pull me up into a tight hug.

I might just say this because I'm touch starved but no one hugs like Jeon Jungkook does.

"Woah, what." I managed to squeeze out, clumsily patting his back.

"M' just happy that you don't hate me after all." He mumbled into my hair.

"Jungkook." I said dryly, " You could... blow up the planet or something and I'd still be unable to hate you."

He laughed, boyish sound right next to my ear, hot breath making my skin tingle, "Really?"

"Yeah."

...

"Please don't blow up the planet though."

"I won't, I promise."

"That sounds.. that sounds like, potentially, you could."

"But I won't."

"What-"

Today I learned that Jungkook is a little boy, trapped in the body of a murderer. Used and manipulated, he's looking for something he doesn't understand himself. He'd been robbed of so many things in his life but also robbed others of so many things. He's blunt, a little vulgar and doesn't really know how to act around people. But he's free now, free to get back what was taken from him. And maybe give back a little of what he took.

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