I'm gonna kill him. I swear to all unholy, if we get out of this alive I will kill him.

I know he could get out of there, because Jeon Jungkook doesn't let himself get caught by two puny little rich kids. Yet he chose not to, for some fucking reason.

And come on - cannibals?! Are you for real? They are the only survivors around and they chose to eat human flesh?! I really can't have anything nice.

After having had to wait too long for Jungkook I had gotten my sleep-deprived ass up to go and look for him, promptly spotting the very obvious trap set-up in the obnoxious grocery store that basically screamed SUSPICIOUS; DON'T ENTER (but of course Jeon Jungkook hadn't thought about that, because apparently he never thinks). I had, by now, somehow managed to find a safe (trap-less) way to enter through the small window of a dusty janitor's closet, from where I had a nice overview to the room underneath, that seemed to be some sort of cellar.

These crazy motherfuckers had Jungkook tied to a chair at the end of a long dinner table, where he sat still and calmly, though I was pretty sure he could free himself easily - why he didn't do that remained a mystery.

I bit my tongue to keep quiet, rearranging my very uncomfortable position in the cramped up closet over a staircase, from where I could overlook the events a few meters away. The purple haired lady was inspecting Jungkook's scythe curiously, the skinny man (and I mean really skinny, like, one wind blow and man's out) sitting on a table, behind the chair Jungkook was chained to.

Purple Hair was so engrossed in the huge weapon in front of her, she even stopped talking (thank god) arms reaching up to stroke over the stained silver blade. As she did that, her sparkly tennis bracelet caught the light that was falling through the small window and reflected it into a million little diamonds. Honestly, these people were ridiculous.

I almost regretted coming here; If only I'd known that this was the reason for why Jungkook had been missing for so long, I wouldn't have bothered. But I couldn't possibly have known that it was cannibals, so checking couldn't hurt. It was hard to believe that something like cannibals could really exist here in Seoul, but you know what? Nothing surprises me anymore.

Plus, this right here wasn't nearly as scary as what we usually go through on a daily. I know, yes, these psychopaths eat humans and whatever, but they're still just people. Very fucked up, psychotic murderers. But people. And I could deal with that. I knew what to expect from that - I mean, I've read enough psychological horror after all.

After everything I've seen, the image of two weak, man eating golf club members seemed somewhat comforting - and that says a lot about our situation, but whatever. It's just sad that every person I meet is somewhat not sane (yes, I'm also talking about you, Jungkook).

My eyes raked over the dinner table that had all of the typical can food draped in pretty little bowls as if this was a romantic candle light dinner (at least these two wouldn't let romance die), the odor of a bunch of scent candles over shadowing the musty stench of a humid cellar and foul meat (human meat is my lucky guess).

I was desperately trying to come up with a way to get Jungkook out of there without either of us getting hurt - tho I believe that Jungkook deserved to lose a toe or two for putting me through this - almost breaking my neck as I twisted my head, looking for some convenient exit.

"So, why did you come down here?" Skinny Guy rasped, kicking Jungkook's chair from behind, "Was it to get condoms? The last guy wanted to get condoms, but that was weeks ago."

"What're you talking about, of course I didn't wanna buy condoms." Jungkook frowned annoyed, probably imagining what it would be like to cut off Skinny Guy's leg that was still constantly kicking him from behind.

"That's not fair," Purple Hair Lady chimed up from the other side of the room, "Why do you get to have small talk with Pretty Boy, but he won't even tell me his name?"

"My natural charm, Happy, my natural charm." He replied, sounding awfully convinced for someone who looked like the corpse of a greasy gamer boy.

"Yeah, shut up." Happy snorted, "You know what you are, Skeptic? Definitely not charming. Now go ahead and prepare the main course."

Oh hell no, that you won't do.

"Ya sure you wanna eat me already?" Jungkook pouted at Happy, "Like, ya not wanna wait or something?"

She cocked a brow, waving him off nonchalantly, "You aren't wine, Pretty. You're fine to be consumed right away." I somehow felt more disturbed about the fact that she used the word 'consumed' than the fact that she was planning to consume Jungkook in the first place.

Deciding that, if I didn't want my dear companion to lose a leg, I should act now, I carefully opened the closet door a little more, ducking underneath the opened window I had entered through.

Happy had finally stopped talking and the other guy - Skeptic (I don't think that's their real names but whatever) - had started to rummage through a box that I knew was filled with a load of butcher tools.

I carefully snapped my pocket knife open, sliding down the cold stone stairs silently - or, well, that's what I had planned to do, but for a second I forgot that I was just a clumsy High Schooler who was bad at everything that required physical coordination.

My ankle twisted on the next step and I shrieked, falling sideways, down the steps with a rumbling crash - landing exactly on top of the fine dinner table.

Although not as I planned, the element of surprise still had it's effect as Skeptic startled so hard he fell backwards onto his butt, fortunately in Jungkook's range, who kicked after his head so hard, his face crashed into the next wall, where he remained unmoving. Not to myself: Everything about Jungkook is scary, even his leg strength.

Happy whipped around, eyes wide in shock, but unlike Skeptic she didn't falter, just grinned wickedly, "Another one! Looks like we won't have to starve anymore, huh?"

She lunged forwards, making me slither backwards, mashed potatoes and beans crashing onto the ground on each side of me. Her purple hair was promptly decorated by a bunch of mushy peaches, eyes glinting in way that made it very obvious that she wasn't quite sane up there, as she crawled over the table towards me.

"Yo get her, Chickie!" My fucking companion cheered from his seat, having spotted the knife in my hand.

"No, I will not stab her-"

My complains got cut off when Happy leaped forwards on her knees again, both arms stretched out to go for my throat - an action that reminded a lot of certain faceless, murderous monsters.

Just stab her

I'd seen Jungkook do it thousands of times before - the movement he made when going in to slice prowlers in half, the arch of his arm, the way he held the hilt of his scythe. I could probably pull it of with a small knife as well.

"Godammit." I flipped the knife in my hand, kicking after Happy's legs to bring her out of balance and then copied just what I watched Jungkook do hundreds and thousands of times before and jammed the wooden end of my knife into her throat, making her slump backwards coughing and wheezing for air, "Eat my ass, you yuppie fuck."

"You lit- little-" She gasped, both her hands closing around her throat, tears spewing out of her eyes reflexively.

A little disgusted, I propped both my feet against her spasming body, using all my strength to shove her down the table until she landed on the ground - or better said; Landed on top of Skeptic.

"Yeahhh!" Jungkook jumped up, clapping overjoyed, "I knew you'd make it, Chibi!"

I glared at him furiously, "Jungkook. You were untied the entire time?!"

He grinned sheepishly, before sitting down onto the dinner table next to me and taking a handful of mashed potatoes, just to shove it into his mouth, "T' be fwair-" He babbled incomprehensibly, "Wan't untied t' 'ole time."

"You could've died. I could've died!"

He swallowed heavily, "Nah, I knew you'd make it."

Then he laid back, arms crossed behind his head while he stared at the moldy ceiling, mashed potatoes stuck everywhere in his face and hair, "I'd give this rescue a three out of ten. And that's with the extra point you got for the cool line you came up with in the end."

"Now is really not the time, Jungkook. We're literally sitting in the middle of a cannibal's dinner table."

He sighed disappointed, taking another handful of the potatoes, "Jus' lemme eat a lil bit, 'kay?"

I stared at him blankly.

He swallowed another bite, looking highly amused, before getting up and wiping his dirty hands off on his pants, just to go over to Happy who was laying passed out on the ground.

I watched him kneel down in front of her, hands fumbling somewhere on her arm, til he came back up with her silly tennis bracelet dangling down his index finger.

"Here, for you."

"No, Jungkook, put it back."

"She don't need it anyways!"

"Me neither."

"I want to thank you for rescuing me!"

"There's potato mush all over it."

"That's the cherry on top."

"That's so... I don't even know what that is."

"It's fucking creative is what it is."

"Argh, fine."

___