《Lessons in Devotion》Chapter 49
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Bonnie stared at her reflection in the full length mirror. Although she wore a wedding gown, she had the look of someone on their way to a funeral. Perhaps it was because she mourned. Mourned for what she couldn't have but forced to accept. She glanced down at the bouquet of white lilies she held. They were beautiful. Too beautiful for an occasion such as this. The exceptional blossoms deserved to be in the possession of someone who truly appreciated them. Which all so held true for Halfdan. How could any of this be fair to him?
"You look very beautiful," Lagertha's sultry tone greeted her.
Bonnie didn't bother turning around. She met the Queen's gaze in the mirror.
"Thank you," she murmured returning her gaze to her reflection.
"I know you believe my trust isn't with you," Lagertha said as she moved further into the tent, "and your belief couldn't be further from the truth. For I've sighted with my own eyes who you are Bonnie Bennett of Mystic Falls. I've seen your struggles, battles, failures, and your triumphs. This is why I swore my allegiance to you."
"You'd be right not to trust me. After all the lives which were lost this rising because of the selfish choices I made...I'm not to be trusted." She laughed and her vision blurred. Her sorcery slashed at her veins in protest. It had only just finished her makeup, but she could've cared less. "Hell, I don't even trust my damn self." Her voice fractured.
"Bonnie, you were a woman long before you were our Supreme." Lagertha rested her hands on her arms. "You love my son and he loves you, but I also know Fate has entwined your path with another. Do not make the same mistake as I. Do not be minded to place your heart somewhere it doesn't belong. For this will only lead to a lifetime of heartache."
"I'm well aware," she turned to face the queen full on, before waving a hand down the length of her. "Hence my wedding eve."
Lagertha offered her a small smile drenched in pity. "I know why you're entering matrimony with Halfdan and it will not bring a halt to the blood being shed among the brothers."
"No it won't," she agreed as she reached for the large white camellia. Her sorcery poured from her palms. The energy lifted the flower from her hands and pinned the blossom to the side of her messy bond. "Yet because of this marriage, I'll never again place my own happiness above the wellbeing of those under my dominion."
The entrance of the tent burst open. Ubbe marched in with a determined expression upon his face. "Bonnie this is madness-," his words ran the hell out the moment his glare discovered Lagertha. "Queen Lagertha, many apologies. I didn't know you were attending Bonnie."
"It was for but a moment. I wanted to wish her well, which I'm sure you've come to do," Lagertha said as she made her way back to the entrance of the tent. "And I almost misremembered to congratulate you on your marriage to Torvi. Had you both informed me of your intention to enter into matrimony the eve before battle, it would've offered me an excuse to have a small feast for you both."
Ubbe cast her an apologetic gaze she returned with a shrug. "It was but a small ritual with Torvi, her children and I. We didn't want to disrupt others preparation for the impending battle."
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"Oh," Lagertha nodded as she held his gaze for a moment. "Perhaps when this war is behind us we shall revisit a feast for the two of you."
"Perhaps," he agreed, but his tone offered nothing more than indifference. When the queen exited the tent he turned back to her. "We didn't speak to you of this because-,"
She raised a hand. "It matters not, Ubbe. Neither you nor Torvi owe me an explanation. If you love her and she loves you, then that's the only thing which matters."
Torvi entered the tent a vision in violet silk. She paused a moment to regard her husband, and then turned to her. "Bonnie, it's time."
Bonnie nodded. She glanced at her bed furs. Memories from just that morning of she and Hvitserk spun wild and reckless in her mind. Oh Goddess! Her matrimonial vow to Halfdan would sever her bonds to Ivar and Hvitserk. Neither of them would ever forgive her for leaving them to take another. They'd, however, have to fall in line behind her. For she knew hurting them would top the list of the many things for which she'd never forgive herself. Shaking away the thoughts that cast her already dark mood in shadows, she tore her gaze from the bed furs and headed towards the opening of the tent.
Before stepping out, she allowed her gaze to move from Torvi to Ubbe and back. "I'm happy for you both."
She palmed each of their cheeks and continued out of the tent. Outside in the campground lit torches lined the path to an open field where Halfdan, the high priestess, and all whole and able waited. She began her walk down a new path ordered by her own design. As she passed all gave her a warriors bow. Only one refused to offer her even a simple incline of the head. Instead Bjorn glared at her with a thousand accusations burning in his too heated stare. Choosing not to engage, she fixed her stare on the sight ahead of her.
Once she reached Halfdan and the high priestess she handed her bouquet to Sigurd who still regarded her with the are you sure expression. After she dipped her head in a covert nod, he took the lilies from her. She then turned to regard her groom to be. Wonder glowed bright in his wide eyed stare and lit his face. He took her hands and brought them to his lips. In a reverent show, he kissed the back of each of them. She only stared. Too numb and caught up in a state of shock to actually feel anything for his show of affection.
The high priestess cleared her throat. A likely attempt to garner their attention. "Halfdan the Black, are you in possession of your household sword and the sacred ring that you mean to offer to your intended wife our Supreme?"
"I am, High Priestess." Halfdan looked to Bjorn. To Bonnie's surprise her protector presented her soon to be husband with his requested items.
Once Halfdan placed the ring on the tip of the blade the priestess continued. "Do you, Halfdan the Black, swear before the gods on this eve that you want to take our Supreme as your wife?"
Halfdan's gaze left the priestess to recapture her. A smile curved his lips, "I swear before all of the gods who reside in the Aesir I want nothing more than to take our Supreme as my wife. It is also my vow to honor, love, and protect her every rising. To worship her body every eve, subjecting her to pleasure so unimaginable her memory shall forsake all others who came before me." A roar of debauched cheers and raunchy catcalls sounded off from the gathered warriors. Halfdan laughed and continued. "This is the sacred oath I give to our Supreme, my wife. I swear it before Odin and shall uphold it for as long as we walk the path of matrimony together."
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The priestess adoring stare shifted to her. "Supreme, are you in possession of the sword which will symbolize the new family, keep, and hearth this joining will create?"
"I am," Bonnie said, before turning to Torvi who approached while holding a sword wrapped in silk.
Bonnie unwrapped the sword and took it from Torvi. She then raised the beautiful steel towards the heavens. The crowd gasped. Silver and gold melded together in a merger so stunning the luminescent blade made Excalibur look like an overdone kitchen knife. The sword had once belonged to Alexander, a member of the Brotherhood of five. The weapon was actually kind of magnificent once she'd restored the family heirloom to its former glory. It was crafted by her ancestors for the sole purpose of assisting Silas to the other side. Now for a time it would be utilized as a symbol of she and Halfdan's new beginning. She placed a platinum wedding band on the tip of the blade, and then looked to the priestess.
"Supreme, will you swear before the gods on this eve that you want to take Halfdan the Black as your husband?"
"I swear by the mother of all that I take Halfdan the Black as my husband." She felt the unmistakable prick of needles and thread binding them together in an unbreakable bond. Swallowing down her anxiety, she continued. "I also swear not to place another vo-," a dry wheeze replaced her words. As a memory exploded in her mind.
"Nothing comes before our sacred oath, Bjorn." She tugged on his beard. "Not even marriage vows will get between what we've sworn to each other. I'll be by your side for as long as you want me there."
Her stricken stare shot to Bjorn who in turn regarded her with a smug glower. The asshole had known what she'd meant to do all along and also knew it wouldn't work. Her vision blurred. She'd made yet another mistake. This time she'd bound herself to a man she'd never love and possibly handed a win over to the Hollow. For Halfdan was nowhere near strong enough to fulfill the prophecy. What had she don-...
Halfdan cradled her face in his hands as he beamed down at her. "I ask nothing of you that you're unable to offer. My only request is you allow me to love you even if your heart is not minded to love me in return."
In that moment Halfdan no longer stood before her, Enzo St. John did. "You've always had my love. Even when it lacked value to others you always cherished it as if it were the rarest of treasures. For this purpose alone I'll spend every rising and eve ensuring you feel the same for as long as we both dwell within this union." She placed a hand to the center of Enzo's chest and gazed into his warm whiskey browns. "Thank you for coming back to me," she whispered.
He rested his forehead upon hers as his thumb stroked the hollow of her jaw. "I would brave the oceans and sail past the sirens to find my way back to you."
When he pulled away Halfdan stood in his place. Her heart plummeted even as everyone rejoiced in their union.
"The rings," the high priestess requested.
They each remove their rings from the other's sword and handed the sacred symbols to the high priestess. With a ceremonial dagger she sliced each of their palms and allow the blood to drain in a jeweled chalice. once the tumbler was halfway full she dropped their rings inside. She place her hand over the rim and stared at them both.
"May this joining know the wisdom of Odin, may it be bound by the strength of Thor, may your hearth experience nothing but Frigg's warmth and may Freyja overflow your household with laughter and joy of many babes to come."
After her blessing she handed the ceremonial chalice to Halfdan who sipped from the cup. He then handed the cup to her. She drunk her fill and then passed it back to the priestess. The officiant reached inside, withdrew their rings and placed one in each of their palms. Eagerly, Halfdan took her hand and slid the gilded circle on her finger. With trembling hands, she did the same. Once done, Halfdan leaned down and devoured her mouth. A gasp from the crowd snatched an end to their kiss. When her eyes opened fifty-eleven swirling and twirling comets drew her gaze to the star speckled sky. Praises, cheers, and applauses swelled all around them.
"Has the gods done this for us?" Halfdan questioned as he flicked his stare from the heavens to her and back.
"No." She shook her head as she stared up at the sky, while reveling in the familiar tingling warmth of her familial magic. "This is a wedding gift from the Bennett's who've come and gone before me. They approve of our union."
****
The wedding feast blurred pass Bonnie's uninterested gaze. Though she discovered momentary comfort during the ceremony in Enzo's memory, she no longer could claim such amnesty. For she now found herself back in the thick of her depression. In the midst of a revelry meant to celebrate nuptials she discovered herself unsure of. Especially, since her heart dwelled beyond the reach of her husband's grasp.
Bonnie's regard drifted to Halfdan. He laughed and told bawdy jokes with Sigurd as surrounding warriors slapped him on the back. Joy radiated off of him, infusing the wedding feast with his happiness. He genuinely appeared pleased to be married to her. So pleased he looked only seconds away from declaring her the eighth wonder of the world. How could she ever live up to the expectations he carried for her in his head?
"I almost forgot how much of a drama queen you could be, Bennett," Silas said as he took the seat next to her. "A few thousand mortal deaths in your name and what do you do? You run off to marry the first unremarkable Viking you could find." He took the chalice from her hand and downed the contents in a single gulp, before handing it back to her. "Imagine my reaction when I'm hit with another swearing by me that he intends to take my intended as his wife." He settled an annoyed glare on Halfdan and scoffed.
"Please," she said, placing the now empty chalice on the table. "Spare me the witty jokes and clever one liners. Nothing about this situation is even a little amusing."
"I'm sorry, Bennett. Do I sound amused to you?" the cutting darkness in his voice caught her attention. "Because make no mistake, my errant mate, I was going for fire and brimstone pissed. In fact, I'm two seconds from smiting is blasphemous ass!"
She cut her gaze to him. An electric blue preternatural aura wafted about him in a methane firestorm of turbulent energy. The incandescent flashing even sparked from his eyes. He vibrated with rage. She hadn't realized her marriage would anger Silas. He always appeared so unaffected by well, everything. Releasing her sorrow in a sigh, she placed her hand on his.
"Forgive me, Sil—Odin," The whipping tempest that was his sorcery settled. "This was nothing more than an act of desperation to correct a mistake I made when I first arrived, but..." she shrugged as her gaze moved to Bjorn who sat scowling next to his wife and father in law.
"You can't loophole your way out of a sacred vow, Bennett," Silas said as he squeezed her hand. "The divinity in you won't allow it."
A slight smile offset the downturn of her frown. "What do you know of divinity, immortal?"
"You and I are cast from the same mold, My Tomorrow." He lowered his head and pressed a kiss to her fingertips. "I know a little something about the unbreakable shackle of a divine vow."
"Bonnie, it's time we prepare you for the consummation of your vows," Torvi said, placing a comforting hand to her back.
She nodded, and then turned back to Silas only to discover the seat next to her empty. Entrances and exits, he'd always been superior at those. "Torvi, it's not necessary to ready me for my wedding night. I'm more than capable of prepping myself for the deed. Stay," she rose from her place at the long table, "finish enjoying the feast."
"This may be so but it's tradition for the bride's family to prepare her. You, Bonnie, are my family." The smaller woman took hold of her hand. "Come and allow me to put you at ease for what is to come this eve."
Bonnie allowed herself to be led from the feast. As she crossed the makeshift hall to the exit, she locked gazes with her protector. Their entire relationship flashed before her eyes. From the first instant she appeared on his ship until that moment and everything in between. She recalled the entire bittersweet history of them. Her heart was so full of Bjorn Ironside his name resonated through every last pounding beat. Goddess, please! Had she made a mistake? Her footsteps stalled as she attempted to reconcile the mess she'd made of everything. All because she attempted to do the right thing for those who relied on her as their Supreme. Yet in that moment she wanted nothing more than to be his. It was all she ever wanted.
Torvi squeezed her hand. She tore her gaze from Bjorn's to regard the woman who still held a piece of her. "Your path now lies elsewhere as does his. Come, let's not make your husband wait any longer than he already has."
Bonnie followed her friends pointed stare to Halfdan who watched her with an unreadable expression. She exhaled and allowed Torvi to guide her to the tent she'd spend the eve in with her brand new husband.
There Lagertha, and to her surprise, Blida and Hilda waited. Shock snatched the words from her throat. She hadn't seen her former shieldmaidens since she sailed for England six years before. They were both older but still just as beautiful. The only difference now was the years had turned them both into formidable warriors.
As she approached, they both gave her warrior bows. "Supreme," they said in unison.
She shook her head and pulled them both into her arms. Just looking at them made her long for days gone by. For the times when her boys weren't attempting to tear each other apart. A time when she actually still felt like Bonnie Bennett of Mystic Falls.
"How've you two fared in my absence?" She asked, pulling back to gaze at them both.
"Hilda will enter matrimony before the first fall of snow to Earl Mikaelson's son-," Blida began.
Bonnie's eyes flared as they swung to Hilda. "Mikael Mikaelson?"
Hilda's cheeks reddened as she offered a small, closed lip smile. "Yes, Mikael's a good man and warrior. I also believe when the time comes he'll be a good father to our sons."
"Hmm." Blida's eyes rolled. "He's a little too familiar with that new slave of his for my taste."
"No," Hilda waved her off. "Esther and her sister are both young. He only means to put them at ease."
Bonnie damn near choked on her tongue attempting to set the record straight about that oversized Viking mistake. "Oh, Hilda-,"
"And Lagertha named me second in command to Torvi when Astrid was loss to us," Blida cut in as she turned her toward the basin of water, bath scrubs, and oils someone had brought from her tent. "It's an honored position to be sure, but the responsibility at times can be a bit much. More times than not I find myself longing for the days when I saw to your altar and your table in Kattegat's marketplace."
She placed a hand over Blida's. "You and I both, Blida...you and I both."
For the next couple of hours they readied Bonnie for the consummation of her matrimony ritual. After being washed, stroked, massage, and plied with sweet mead her mind and body still rebelled against the thought of being touched by anyone other than her mates and Bjorn. Though she'd always felt a certain level of attraction for Halfdan much had changed since their previous flirtation. She was no longer the fan girl she'd once been six years before. Her heart and affections no longer rivaled the oceans. So how could she give him her body, when she didn't have a mind to present him with her heart? For she'd never been the type to offer herself without love or either desire being a part of the equation.
Once they'd helped her don her bridal lingerie Lagertha sent Hilda to inform the wedding party that it was time to escort in the groom. Her nerves jumped from ten to twenty as Torvi and Hilda made a fuss about arranging her just so on the bed. Lagertha stood back, offering her a smile paired with eyes that brimmed with pity. The loud jeering of the approaching wedding party tore her gaze from Lagertha's.
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