*WARNING: THERE WILL BE HATRED IN THIS CHAPTER - SPECIFICALLY, RACISM AND LGBTQ+ PREJUDICE. PLEASE READ WITH DISCRETION!*

D A R K O' S P.O.V

I gnawed on the inside of my cheek as I shot through the neighbourhood, the wind tickling my torso as it whipped around me. My knuckles paled against the handlebars as my grip tightened, the white reminiscent of the wild daisies that littered the grassy patches I passed. I'm going thirty kilometres above the speed limit, but I don't care. My mind kept wandering to the phone call I had with Stefan.

"Get home, now. We need to fucking talk about this, and I don't want to do it on the phone."

My life is over. I want to kill Bella.

I can hear the disappointment in Stefan's voice. The betrayal. I'm the one thing he despises the most in this world - a male, homosexual human being.

My stomach knotted as I rounded a corner, my tires barely avoiding the curb.

Stefan wouldn't hesitate to tell Mum and Dad everything. I can see it now - I'm going to arrive home and they'll all be sitting on the porch, their faces etched with disbelief and anger. They're going to berate and curse at me until they think I'm straight again. They will never love me like how they used to.

Hell, I wouldn't be surprised if they kick me out.

I rounded a final corner and reached the beginning of my street. Dread filled every muscle in my body, paralysing me on my bike. It would be another minute or so before I reached my house, but it felt like time was speeding up the more I waited here.

My head is pounding. I sighed, hastily taking off my helmet.

This is it. The final stretch before everything changes.

I tousled my hair, letting all of the sweat drip free from my scalp, before fixing the helmet back on. As slowly as I could possibly go, I drove back to my house. There's no point trying to avoid it.

~~~~~

Stefan stood there, arms folded, on the porch couch outside our house as I pulled into the driveway. I took off my helmet, turning to face him.

He shook his head, before walking inside. His arms never uncrossed. I felt like vomiting.

They're probably all in the loungeroom, ready to give me their best intervention, or their 'being gay is bad! Come to church, before it's too late!' speech.

I shoved my key deep into my pocket, clutching my helmet in my hands. I opened the flyscreen door, welcomed by the familiar scent of roasted beef.

I knitted my brows, confusion permeating my nerves.

Stefan was nowhere to be found; from the front door, you could see the stairwell to the second floor, the kitchen, the dining room and the loungeroom. He wasn't anywhere. Mum was humming a tune to herself as she pulled the aforementioned beef from the oven, while Dad watched TV, completely unfazed.

What the hell is going on?

"Hey dear," Mum said, smiling as she looked up at me, "how was your motorcycling stuff?"

I smiled, a complete facade of how I was really feeling. "It was uh... all right. Where did Stefan walk off to just then?"

Dad gruffed, swishing his beer to the stairwell. "Think he went upstairs."

"Thank you," I said. I began walking when Mum called out.

"Dinner will be ready soon! Let your brother know."

Confusion consumed me as I crept up the staircase. Why aren't they screaming at me? I expected Dad to be at my throat already, with Mum giving me disappointed sighs and moaning about how corrupt I was.

What's going on?!

I looked around at the top of the stairwell. Stefan's door was shut, and no light was peeking through the slit at the bottom. He wasn't there.

I turned towards my room, and the door had been left ajar. Orange light bathed out of the room. I could hear Stefan muttering something to himself.

I swallowed hard. Here goes nothing.

~~~~~~~~~

I pushed open the door to see Stefan sitting on my bed, his jaw resting on the palms of his hands. He looked up at me and sighed, before gesturing me to shut the door. I did, before standing awkwardly in front of it.

"So? Care to explain why Lyra got a bitter message from Bella depicting how... gay you seem to be for Taylor?" he spat, hesitating at the word gay. I froze.

"I..." I said, stammering. Maybe denying it will help. "I don't like him in that way-"

He scoffed. "Bullshit. Don't lie to me - Lyra sent me the photo of your love letter to him. I recognised your handwriting and everything."

I felt my cheeks burn up. Stefan shook his head, forcing a sigh out.

"You're fucking disgusting."

I shot up at him. "No, I'm not."

He shook his head. "No, you are! How dare you go around, acting all gay and shit? Why did you choose to be like this? You've literally slept with an uncountable number of girls, and now you decide to like dicks?!"

I felt hot tears surface. "I didn't choose this! I can't help it, Stefan! The stuff with the girls was all fake - I really, really like him, and-"

He shuddered. "Shut up. Keep your gayness to yourself, freak."

I shook my head, the tears falling down my face. As much as I wanted to just shut up and cop the verbal assault, my voice wouldn't let me. "How can you call me that? Stefan, I'm your brother - you've known me for so long, I'm still the same guy! The only difference is that I love the same gender!"

Stefan shook his head. I let a whimper escape my lips as I wiped stray tears from my cheeks. I pulled my study chair out of my desk and threw myself into it, sitting in front of Stefan. He couldn't even look at me.

"Listen," he said, facing to the left of him, "I'm not saying shit to Mum and Dad, purely because I don't want them to feel shame. Imagine if word got out - the people at church would condemn us!"

I sobbed. He glanced at me, scoffing. "I can't believe that you're actually a fag."

We sat in silence for a few moments. Sadness and regret washed over me like an untamed ocean sweeping up a lonely kayak. Fear of rejection was replaced with despair that hugged my heart so tightly I thought it would burst and spill out of my chest.

It was that look that Stefan gave me. The furrowed, frustrated eyebrows that twitched with his every thought. His pursed lips that portrayed his disgust. His narrow eyes, piercing my chest with their judgemental glares.

Stefan hates me.

Mum's sharp voice shot through the house, making me jump. "EVERYONE! DINNER'S READY!"

He exhaled sharply out of his nose before standing up, briskly walking to the door, stopping as he opened it. He went to say something to me, but just as fast as he opened his mouth, it shut. He slammed the door.

I threw myself on my bed, letting my cries become muffled in my mounds of pillows. His words hit me like a runaway jet engine as I let them spiral in my mind. "You're actually a fag". "Freak". "You're fucking disgusting."

I sobbed harder. I know who I am, these things shouldn't be getting under my skin, but maybe...

Maybe he's right.

Mum's voice pierced the walls again. "DARKO! HURRY UP, WE CAN'T SAY GRACE WITHOUT YOU!"

"I'll be there in a minute," I shouted, my shaky voice betraying me. I sat up and wiped my tears away, before taking in a few breaths.

'Just eat and come back,' I thought to myself, 'just eat, and come back to your room.'

I waited till my sobbing stopped, before walking out.

~~~~~~

"There you are," Dad said, half smiling. "Hurry up and sit down, we need to say Grace."

I sat down and took Mum's and Dad's hands. "Sorry... just had to do something really quick."

Mum glanced at me, her eyes inspecting my face. "Is... everything okay? You seem upset."

I glanced at Stefan, who was looking daggers back. Feeling a lurch in my chest, I snapped away, before faking a smile.

"Yeah, I'm all good."

Mum lifted a brow, before rubbing her thumb along my cheek. "Dear, your eyes are all red and your face is flushed. Are you sure?"

I nodded, suppressing the urge to snap. "I'm fine. Trust me."

She nodded.

Dad sighed. "Whatever. Close your eyes, everyone."

I did as told.

"Bless us, oh Lord, and these gifts which we are about to receive from your bounty. Through Christ our Lord we pray, Amen."

I repeated 'Amen' as did my brother and mother. I released my hands from my parents and opened my eyes, watching Dad carve away at the roasted beef.

"You did well, honey," he said, earning a smile from her.

"Thank you. Darko, fill up on veggies. I made extra mashed potatoes - one of your favourites."

"Thanks, Mum," I said, looking at the bowl she gestured to. It was in front of Stefan. Seeing him glower at me in his seat, I directed my fork to the vegetables instead. I pretended to eat when Dad spoke.

"So," Dad said, scooping up the slices of beef he cut up. "I hear you have a girlfriend now Stefan?"

I looked up at Stefan. His eyes darted from Dad to me. He smirked slightly.

"Yeah, I have the most beautiful girlfriend," he said, looking at me. "Her name is Lyra."

Dad hummed. "What a beautiful name. May I see a photo of her?"

Stefan giddily whipped out his phone, showing Dad a selfie of him and Lyra. I took this opportunity to grab the bowl of mashed potatoes. I lost my appetite, but if I didn't get some potatoes on my plate, Mum would grow even more suspicious.

"We met at a party a few weeks back. She's so sweet, I can't wait for you two to meet her-"

Dad cleared his throat. Glancing at him, I only just noticed that his eyebrows were tightly knitted.

"She's... black?" Dad said, earning a lifted eyebrow from Stefan.

"Yeah? So what?"

Dad laughed. "So what? Are you joking? Women of their kind aren't dateable."

Stefan shook his head in disbelief. He looked at me, but I just sat there, eyebrows raised, a smug smile on my face.

"Dad - she's different. Just wait till you meet her - she's amazing, and sweet, and-"

"You think I want to meet her? Stefan, I forbid you from dating her."

"But-"

Dad slammed his fist down, making everything on the table clatter slightly. "No buts! Break up with her as soon as you can. We need to find you a pretty, white, lady before it's too late. We can't let you live and experience their customs - It would drive you away from God!"

"I can't help who I like!" He shouted. He stared up at me, his face washing over with realisation. Fucking hypocrite. Have a taste of your own fucking medicine.

He stood up and rushed upstairs, his door slamming against the doorframe. Dad shook his head, while Mum began to eat again, although a strong awkwardness hung in the air.

"It's okay," Mum said, smiling at me. "It could be worse - at least Stefan isn't gay."

I felt my grip on my knife and fork tighten at that statement. Mum and Dad continued to eat like nothing had just happened. I shook my head, before getting up.

"May I please be excused? I've lost my appetite."

Dad nodded, "Don't worry, I understand. Seeing Stefan like that has thrown me off too."

He turned to Mum. "I'm sorry, sweetie. Maybe we can have a midnight snack together."

She smiled. I thanked her for the meal, before rushing upstairs. I leaned my ear against Stefan's door and heard his sobbing through the cheap wood.

Now he knows how I fucking feel.

==========================================

: so there you have it. A first taste of how horrible Darko's family actually is. *sigh* I hate how narrow-minded people can be. What do you all think of Stefan now?

This has been one of the hardest things I've written for this book. As someone that's coming-out story was not great, this hit home really hard. There were numerous points in this chapter where I got too emotional and had to stop writing.

If you are going through this, please know that you are not alone, and you are nothing that 'they' say you are. You aren't 'going through a phase' you aren't 'indecisive or confused' and you most certainly aren't a mistake, a failure, a disappointment, or someone that needs to be fixed. You are a beautiful human being with so much potential. Nothing 'they' say defines you. If any of you need someone to talk to, my inbox is always open.

Anyway. Back to (slightly) related book stuff. I've decided (after much deliberation) to do a Question Of The Chapter at the end of every chapter, starting from this one. Please don't be a ghost reader - I love reading your comments and making new friends with my readers. Anyway.

QOTC: How did you come out to your parents? And, if you're straight, have you heard of any good/bad coming out stories from your friends? (answer with an in-line comment. Interact with the other comments!)

All my love,

J. S x