T A Y L O R 'S P. O. V.

Saturdays are my favourite days of the week. Zero chores, zero responsibilities, zero obligations and all the time in the world (well, technically, 24 hours only, but still). All I did today was play piano in my room, writing new songs and rehearsing old ones.

This particular Saturday though, I had one chore. One thing nagging me at the back of my head that I needed to fix.

I needed Ana's advice about the party.

It was late, about eight at night. Ana had come into my room a while ago, enjoying some brother-sister bonding time. She was painting her nails while I continued to play on my piano.

"Hey... Ana?" I said nervously, tapping the tips of my fingers softly on my piano keys, "can I ask you something?"

Ana, who was sitting on my bed in my room, lifted a brow. She placed her black nail-polish brush back into its bottle before she began fanning her hands. "Uh... sure? What's up, Tay?"

I had tapped a few piano keys before I uttered, "Let's say someone was blackmailing you, and to keep your dirt hidden, you're forced to do something you're uncomfortable with. What would you do?"

Honestly, I don't trust what Bella was planning. What she told me yesterday in bio was too vague; she was purposefully keeping me in the dark. I'm sure Bella's trying to get Darko and me together, but her method's dodgy... It's my first party, and she's already trying to make me drink! There are already enough dangerous things to worry about at a party, yet she's trying to throw me in the deep end. I just.. my gut is telling me that something's not right. What if something goes wrong?

Ana softly chuckled before saying, "I'd do the thing that the person's forcing me to do, but I'd make sure first that it won't make me feel like shit. What is this person blackmailing you with, bro?"

"The blackmail has to do with... school. Nothing too big," I said, gritting my teeth at my lie, "and the uncomfortable thing is a party. I've been 'invited.'" I said, using my fingers as quotation marks.

Ana began blowing her nails softly before she snorted. "You? At a party? Don't make me laugh, Tay; if you went to a party, you'd probably explode from your nerves. You weren't built to be overly social."

I shook my head before grinning. "Yeah, you're right about that. But, I have to go to it. I have no choice."

Ana looked at me, a half-smile appearing on her pearly face, "So, regardless if you go or not, something's gonna happen?"

I nodded. Ana chuckled, before refocusing on her nails. "Nice one, bro. Way to get yourself into that kind of situation."

I rolled my eyes. "Well, I have until next Friday to make a decision. That's a week from now until the party - AKA my next nervous breakdown."

Ana sighed. "Does that mean I have to babysit mum again?"

"Hey, I'm only one call away. Besides, if I'm not responding and something drastic does happen, you know you can call Darko's family. Or, you know, an ambulance." I said.

We both sighed. Friday is going to be a busy night for both of us.

"What are you even going to do at a party? You've never been to one!" Ana stated as she started applying another coat of the matte black paint onto her thumb. I sighed.

Honestly, I have no idea what to do. What do people do during parties? Are they like the parties in high school movies where everybody gets drunk, everyone dances like an idiot and everyone gets laid? Because if they're like that, then I don't care if Bella exposes me. Parties like that are definitely not my thing.

Well, it is Lyra's party. It's going to be wild, no matter what. Great. Hopefully, it gets shut down early, so I don't have to worry about it too much.

"I have no idea," I began, which made Ana snort, "do you have any pointers? You've been to more parties than I ever have been."

Ana looked at me, a mischievous smile growing on her face. "I do have some pointers, but are you willing to get out of your comfort zone?"

I hesitantly nodded. Ana had laughed before she refocused on her nails.

"Well, first thing's first, you have to get at least tipsy. It makes everything seem way more fun than it actually is, and it helps with your confidence, which I'm sure you'd need," Ana said, as she continued to paint.

"Funny, Bella told me to get tipsy too. I guess it's something that needs to happen. It's just a little daunting, is all," I groaned, dragging my hands down my face lazily in annoyance. "Wait, you've drunk alcohol before?"

Ana glanced towards me, her brows furrowed. "Of course I have, but it was only once or twice, and I always made sure one of my girlfriends was looking out for me."

I nodded. At least Ana is responsible for her drinking habits, unlike someone else in this household.

"Also," Ana added, "I don't trust that Bella girl. I have a feeling she's hiding something from you." she said evenly.

I raised an eyebrow. "Like what?" I questioned. "She wouldn't be the type of person to hide something from me."

Ana shrugged, "I don't know. Just, something's off about her. Keep an eye on her, okay?"

I had sighed before I nodded. "Fine."

We sat in a comfortable silence after that. Ana finished her hands, and she moved on to her toe-nails, making sure not to get any on my pristine white sheets. I refocused on my piano and began practising an Adele song.

After I had finished the song, Ana asked, "So, I'm taking it that Darko's going?"

I nodded. Ana noticed it and reciprocated with a smile. "If you get extra nervous, just stick with him. He has been to plenty of parties; he would know how everything works. And plus, I'm sure he'll be more than willing to keep you safe."

I glanced away from Ana and smiled at those last few words she said. 'More than willing to keep me safe'. That's one of the best things about Darko - regardless of how he's feeling or what else is happening around him, I'm always his top priority. He's always really protective of me, and he's always making sure I don't hurt myself.

This would be so cliché if he were gay and in love with me. Oh, but a man can dream...

Oh, wait, shit. I just realised; If Darko's going to be at a party, that means he's going to try and hook up with someone. UGH. Great. Now I have to suffer through jealousy while being drunk. YAY. Maybe I'll get so drunk to the point where he has no choice but to make sure I don't die during the night. Then he'll be forced to stay with me, preventing him from finding some dodgy girl to stick his-

"Oh, by the way, " Ana said, interrupting my train of thought. "Sorry if I act a little loopy from now on, mum took me to a doctor the other day. He prescribed me some anti-depressants."

A huge grin spread across my face as I turned around. To my surprise, she was already behind me, and I wrapped her in a warm hug. "I'm proud of you Ana. Thanks for taking my advice."

Unlike our mum, Ana knew she had a problem and was willing to get help. I caught her a few weeks back, sitting on the bathroom floor crying her eyes out, her black mascara dripping down her cheeks. She showed me her scars and told me there and then that she had depression. I made it my duty to make sure she got the help she had needed before it got any worse; before I lose another family member.

"Anyway, " Ana said, releasing me from her hug, "I'll leave you to practise your performance songs. I gotta make an 'urgent' call with Kaitlyn. You need anything?"

I shook my head before smiling. "Nah, but thanks. Have fun with your bestie." She left the room, softly shutting the door behind her. I heard her shuffle towards mum's room, their mumbling voices piercing through the drywall, then to her room, closing her door behind her.

I put my sheet music into my folder and climbed into bed, pulling out my phone and connecting it to my speaker. It was nearly eleven, but nobody cared if I played my music, as long it wasn't too loud. I pressed the shuffle button and lied back, staring at the tiny cracks and paint smudges on my old roof. My tall paper lamp that was next to my bed glowed a beautiful quinacridone gold, which dimly illuminated my room, calming my senses. Once the speaker recognised the song that came through, it began echoing the relaxing melody within my four walls.

Smooth jazz. Yes.

I closed my eyes, and the first thing that popped into my head was Darko. The way he looked during lunch. The cute giggles he let escape him during Biology. The way he daydreamed after Lyra left our table. Everything about him made me smile like an absolute idiot.

Oh, the things I would give if he were here with me right now, whispering sweet nothings into my ear, while exploring me with his hands. The things I would give for him to be fucking gay. AGH!

Personality aside, Darko was quite the looker too. A jawline that could smite trees, emerald eyes that grass would be envious of, and a nearly perfectly toned body that every unfit guy dreams of. His smirk alone could make anybody drool.

I remember once; I was half asleep in his bed as he had burst into his room with only a towel around his waist, dripping wet. He was furiously rubbing his head, and his eyes were bloodshot. He had told me that his bathroom's shower head had burst from the wall mid shower, launching directly into his skull. While I was helping him fix it, half awake, shirtless and groggy, he got up to get a wrench from the garage, and his towel fell off, exposing... everything. Oh boy. He was so big.

I threw a hand in my pants.

"I can't believe I'm going to a party," I said aloud, dragging my free hand down my face. 'A party'. I already felt nauseous. What if something happens at the party? What if I don't fit in with the other party-goers? What if I embarrass myself in front of Lyra, Bella and especially Darko?

Feeling the stirring, I sighed in relief. Thanks to my thoughts about the party, there also was an unsettling amount of anxiety. I never thought it was possible to be horny and anxious...

I turned over, took my hand out, grabbed my glasses and turned off my lamp, placing the spectacles on my bedside table. Switching the song to something more melodic, I turned the volume down, so it was just barely audible. The soft, quiet sound of rushing water filled the dark space in my room, calming me down slightly. Soft shades of the moon's light peeped through my thin white curtains.

I closed my eyes. Visions of Darko materialised in my mind then faded; then a party scene popped its way into my head then back out, then... my dad appeared. Standing tall, wearing his classic red flannel and jeans, and his famous toothy smile.

What would dad do if he was here with me? Would he encourage me to go to this party? Would he even consider letting me go out?

He so would.

Dad was a firm believer in the "try everything once" motto, and he would most definitely want me to go. I can see the scene now - I'd go up to him and ask reluctantly, he'd laugh and pat me on the back before saying, "son, just fucking go. Live your teenage life! Enjoy every single aspect of it; don't make mistakes like me."

God, I miss him so much.

Dad faded away in my mind, and visions of Darko without a towel came back. My hand travelled down back to my groin as I felt it. Jesus. I wish it was his hand that was down there.

Suddenly, my phone started to buzz uncontrollably, startling me.

"Oh for fuck's sake," I said, getting my hand out. I lifted myself up and grabbed my phone, squinting at the blinding light of my lock-screen. It was Darko; he was calling me.

I picked it up, a sly smirk forming on my lips. "Hey, I was just thinking about you -"

"Taylor, I was just robbed."