I'm just interested in someone telling me they love me...

Distracting myself with the music of words from another..

Reading pornography to get the feeling across, but it never feels enough...

After I'm done... I know... I'm just alone...

I know it was just a distraction... That's over

I know it's a distraction that now is just over....

I want someone to hold me, someone to look me in the eyes the way they do in the movies... Am I crazy for wanting that? I know I'm young and I've got time but I still want at least someone!

But, I guess, I still gotta love myself before someone can to me...

But a girl can hope all the while... Right?!?!

I'm confused?

I'm writing this, imagining it's a song

Sitting down at the piano as I type on my phone these writings out, ready to share it to the world, maybe someone will feel the same way... And maybe these aren't just lists of words.

163 words only, now 166 to go... 170 I'm at...

Only these hundreds words are nothing!

Nothing! Noooothhhhing!

I'm just distracting myself, I could be painting but instead I'm stuck on my phone, continueing the distraction... Continueing the reading of somebody's other words...

I just wanna live... But where can I live, when everywhere I go, nobody sees me, I can't be myself, an automatic pull to be somebody else comes... But.. when I write! When I sing!... I'm myself! And that's why I come and that's why I stay here, hours to come!

I can say anything! I can be anything! You don't know my past or how I'll be, I'm not intimidated by your gaze because I don't see it. .. but, yet... I wanna see it...

So, then I just waste my time ... On... This device..

Ughhh....

292 words now....

295 words written down...

300 now...

All words of my... Distraction.