It has been six months since Beam left.

I have never stopped looking for him. But finding someone who doesn’t want to be found is like trying to find a needle in a haystack. I have scoured the entire city, but to no avail. I’ve checked with each and every person Beam has had interaction with. During my days off, I drive out of town with the hopes of finding him. I have asked everyone for help.

Sometimes I even hallucinate, like seeing his back as I look through the crowd or mistakenly shouting his name when I see someone who remotely resembles him.

His clothes are still in my closet, every remnant containing his memory are still in their original place. I will not give up no matter how long it will take. I’ve gone numb now, all I ever think of is him, and that’s what makes me able to go through the motions as I live my day to day. There is this ever present soreness in my chest that does not go away. Not even sleep.

I miss him. Everyday.

***

It has been six months since I left.

I have been volunteering in an orphanage at a remote provincial town in Krabi, and they have graciously let me stay. I have also been doing odd jobs here and there to earn my keep. I am also saving for myself but right now I have been taking my time here, finding out what I really want to do with my life. The place is lovely, quiet, and homey. A very fitting place for healing and introspection.

The morning paper had just arrived, and noticing a dreadful name, I quickly read the news from the paper’s headlines.

Big boss Big Papa of the human trafficking underworld captured, no bail and faces multiple charges.

The news talks about how Big Papa and his lackeys were finally captured after an intense manhunt. They were faced with multiple charges of human trafficking, rape, kidnapping, and child abuse. He and his accomplices would definitely be sentenced with life imprisonment.

I looked up towards the sky, and let out a huge breath. I have buried the dark memories of that past, and this news concludes the ending, locking away the memories forever. I am literally feeling the heavy weight being lifted off my shoulders. I felt calm and finally at ease now.

However, the news also briefly mentioned his name, Forth Jaturapoom Jamornhum. The heroic officer who was leading the case and successfully captured one of the most notorious criminals in Thailand.

He has kept his promise, he was my hero after all.

Reading that paragraph, and seeing his name again felt like my chest was being punctured with sharp needles. Tears involuntarily fell from my eyes. It still hurt so bad.

I miss him. Everyday.

***

“P’Beam! P’Beam!” I raise my head and stopped weeding the flower garden. Nong Nin called me from the orphanage’s gate. “Someone is looking for you!”

I squint my eyes as I look at the luxurious car driving inside the gate. Sister Lawan, one of nuns in charge of the orphanage greeted the person who calmly got off the car. They spoke for a moment before they walked towards me.

“Are you Beam Baramee?” Asked the man, maybe in his late forties. He looks really wealthy but he has this gentle and good natured aura about him.

“Yes.” I answered.

“I am Doctor Phassakorn Vongphipan.” That last name though, I was immediately reminded of Vongphipan General Hospital, one of the biggest hospitals in Thailand.

I don’t know why he was looking for me, and I don’t see any reason why someone would go this far to look for me. He really looks… I can’t say familiar, as I swear I have never seen him before. But, there’s just something in him that I can’t properly place inside my head.

He held out his hand for a handshake, and I took it. I can feel it shaking.

“Are you okay sir?” I asked.

“Beam, can I hold you?”

“I’m sorry?” I am very bewildered with how this conversation is going.

He suddenly pulled me into a tight hug. “I finally found you.” He whispered. I just stiffened as he pulled away to hold my face.

“You got her eyes. But you have my cheekbones and jawline. My son, you are beautiful.” His eyes are now red and I saw tears forming.

“Son?” And that’s when it hits me, he does look a bit like me, especially when he smiled.

“Yes, Beam. I am your father.”

“Father?” My mind is blank right now, I can’t think of anything.

“Yes, son. I have been looking for you for a very long time. Years and years.” He explained.

“You are my father? You were looking for me?” I sound incredulous, not really believing what I’m hearing.

“I was left at the orphanage, when I was a baby. I don’t have parents.”

“You have me son, I’m your dad.”

“I’m sorry, Doctor… or Sir, but I...”

He held my hands and led me inside. “Come, let’s talk inside. I know you are in shock, but I will tell you everything from the very beginning.”

***

We talked the whole afternoon, and the truth hit me hard. Questions that I asked myself a million times in my lifetime are finally answered.

Phassakorn, my father, was the only son and heir of the Vongpiphan Healthcare Institute, a private hospital chain based in Bangkok with several branches across the country. He was only a med student then when he was already betrothed to another conglomerate heir in an arranged marriage.

However, he was already in a secret relationship with my mother, a nursing student. They were really in love. When my father’s family found out, they were really against the relationship. They forced my dad to study abroad and was not allowed to go back to Thailand after he finished school. Their communication was completely cut off. The couple have no choice but to break up eventually.

My father was unaware that my mother was pregnant when he left. My mother kept it a secret, she ran far away from home, and finally gave birth to me.

However, a few weeks after, she got really sick with postpartum depression and severe pneumonia. She knew she was dying and she doesn’t have anyone to turn to, so she decided to leave me in the orphanage.

He is Beam Baramee. The love of my life. Please take care of him. Give him all the love he deserves.

She died one week after.

I still have that tattered note that I treasure the most, carefully kept in a laminated case. My only memory of my mom.

My father found out about me many years later after he returned to Thailand. He eventually got married to his arranged fiance and had one son. However, his wife died in a fatal accident five years after the marriage. Then he finally became CEO of Vongpiphan Healthcare Institute when my grandparents died. He never remarried since then.

My dad found out my mom got pregnant when he accidentally met an acquaintance from college, and then the rest was all about finding me. It was too late when found out about the human trafficking ordeal. However, he was able to confirm his paternity through my DNA samples and hospital records. He was wealthy and he owned hospitals so I guess it was easy for him.

It was already dark when we finished talking. Both our eyes are red and puffy from all the crying. I always felt mournful whenever I thought of all the what-ifs. For all my life, I’ve been wondering and dying to know what it feels to be loved, to be cared for, to have someone to call my family. And now, I cannot describe how I felt. Relieved, happy, excited. I still have a father.

I have a family now. Finally, I feel complete.

“Let’s go home son.” He offered as he held my shoulders firmly.

“Sir...”

“Call me Dad, Beam.” He smiled.

“I don’t think I can yet, please give me time.” I honestly say.

Dad. The word feel foreign in my head. I am not ready to say it out loud yet. I am still processing all this in my head.

“Okay, but please know that I am very happy Beam. I love you, son.”

He hugged me one more time as he bid goodbye.

***

For eight days straight, my father came to the orphanage to visit me everyday, showering me with gifts which I politely declined, but he doesn’t listen. However, he did not force me to go with him. He just comes to talk and spend time with me. Show me pictures of my mom, telling me stories. I was beginning to warm up to him. I am happy.

“Bye, son. I’ll be back tomorrow. I love you.” His line everytime he says goodbye. It really felt weird at first. But I eventually got over it and it honestly made me feel warm inside.

“Dad…” I called him for the first time. No more Sir or Doc from this time forward. His eyes lightened up.

“I… I… wanna go home.” I finally say.

He gasped and hugged me tight.

***

I was greeted with a welcome party. It was not grand or anything, but I was really surprised. Just a simple dinner party composed of dad’s closest friends, colleagues, and his personal staff. He introduced me to them, and they were all happy to finally meet me. It seemed like these people in one way or another helped my dad in finding me.

I was overwhelmed, I never thought this day would come. I am finally home.

After the party, my dad toured me around the house. It was a very huge house with a lot of rooms, a big pool, a beautiful garden, and a very spacious garage that contains a lot of cars. Dad said he would buy me one after I get a license.

The next day, he brought me to the main hospital and introduced me to everyone, Vongpiphan General Hospital, and also gave me a tour and showed me his office. I am still not used to the attention I am getting. Dad was a neurosurgeon but he stopped his practice after he became CEO. Everything in the hospital fascinated me, I was amazed as I look at doctors and nurses go about the hallways, taking care of patients, and being busy saving lives. It is very inspiring.

***

It is early morning and we are having breakfast at my dad’s room. It’s been two weeks since I got home.

“I have a surprise for you, Beam.”

“What is it, Dad?” I asked quizzically.

“You’re brother is coming home, today!”

“Really?!” I have been dying to meet my younger half brother. Dad has been talking about him dotingly. I can tell he loves him very much, and I can’t wait to love him too. I have only seen his pictures, and I can tell that he is very adorable.

“Yes, he applied for an early semestral leave. He wants to see you as soon as possible.”

From what I heard from Dad’s stories, he is currently studying freshman Biological Science abroad. He was obsessed with becoming a scientist and wants to build a research center when he graduates.

Suddenly, the door opens with a bang. A very cute boy was standing with his huge luggage in tow.

I stood up and smiled. “Wayo.”

He dropped his bag and ran to me. “P’Beeeeeaam!!!”

He immediately climbed and clinged to me like a koala. He kissed my cheeks, left and right. He is definitely adorable.

“Finally! Welcome home.” He greeted and held my face.

“I finally get to meet my brother. Wow, you are very pretty.” He said and then hugged me.

“Hey, what about me?” Dad said jokingly, and Wayo just rolled his eyes as he beckoned Dad to join the hug.

The three of us hugged tightly. I felt overwhelmed and silently cried. The good kind of crying. This is my family.

***

It was finally time for us to leave. Wayo was crying as he hugged Dad and bid goodbye. “I will miss you, Daddy.”

“Stop being a crybaby, Yo.” Dad teased.

“You both take care of each other.” Dad said as he hugged me and ruffled my hair.

I will be going with Wayo and will be studying abroad also. Dad really wants me to go to college, and I immediately agreed. I finally have something I want to do in the future. I want to become a doctor. I want to study Pediatrics. Dad promptly processed my papers so I could go with Yo the next semester, and I am very excited.

I remain quiet during the car ride. As much as I was excited, I still feel a lingering melancholy. I will be leaving the country and I might not see him forever.

“What’s wrong, P?” Wayo held my hands.

“Yo, can we drop by somewhere? We still have time, right?”

“Sure, P’Beam.” He then asked the driver to take us to the address I told him.

We stopped at the opposite side of the road, in front of the police station. And just in time, I saw him go outside. He was holding a paper cup, probably coffee. He sat on the elevated pavement as he sips the hot beverage.

This is probably the last time I will see him. So I memorized his appearance with all my heart. His hair, his eyes, his nose, his mouth. The way he straightens his broad shoulder, the way his long legs moved as he stood up, and the way he puts his hands on his pocket as he went back inside the station.

My heart feels like it was twisted and rung dry. Tears silently flowed out of my eyes. I’m thankful he couldn’t see me through the car’s tinted windows.

I felt Wayo’s hand clasped mine, “It’s time to go, P.” and then he wiped the tears on my cheek.

Goodbye, P’Forth. I say in my mind as the car started and headed for the airport.

***

: Hello, dear readers! Thank you soooo much for your votes and comments.

Sorry for this filler chapter, but I’m a sucker for family reunions and I can’t help but give Beam the love he deserves.

Hope you are enjoying this story even though it’s all heartbreaks for both Beam and Forth. We know that no matter how much star-crossed lovers try and how much they want it, some love stories just don’t have happy endings. But if two people are meant to be together, love finds a way, with a little bit of help from fate and destiny.

Also, we finally get to meet another moon other than Forth and Beam, a very adorable one at that! You’ll get to meet the others soon.

Love you all! ❤