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Spencer had loved Y/N ever since he had first layer eyes on her even though she was married. The genius held onto his torch for her years after their meeting.

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Spencer remembered the day Y/N had walked through the doors of the BAU clearly. It was seven years ago and he believed that it was one of the best days of his life, although he would never admit it aloud. When Y/N had stepped through the doors, he was transfixed by her. She gave off an aura of kindness and that's what drew him to her.

Seven Years Ago (April 2010)

Spencer's attention was immediately diverted from his paperwork to the woman walking through the bullpen. Immediately Spencer could tell she was new, he had never seen her face before, he would know if he had. One reason being because of his eidetic memory and the other being that she was the most beautiful girl he had ever seen. She looked confused as she looked around. If Spencer couldn't clearly see her badge, he would think that she had just stumbled in.

The woman made eye contact with Spencer for a quick moment before she began to head over in his direction. Spencer felt his palms began to sweat. That brief moment of eye contact was enough for him to grow nervous. Every step she took toward him, Spencer wanted to wheel his chair backwards until he was out of sight.

"Hey," The woman said as she now stood in front of Spencer, "I was wondering if you could tell me where Aaron Hotchner is?"

Spencer discreetly wiped his hands on his trousers before pointing at his office, "That's his office."

The woman gave him a sweet smile that would cause Spencer's knees to melt if he were standing up, "Thank you."

Spencer watched as she walked up to Hotch's office. He was glad that there were little to no people around to notice his obvious infatuation with this woman. With a shake of his head, Spencer got back to work.

Sighing, Spencer rested back in his chair. He had gotten to work early and there wasn't anyone around yet. He didn't know why he decided to come in early, he just felt like he needed to. Getting up from his chair, he headed over to the kitchen area to make himself a drink. Turning around with his mug a few minutes later, he was greeted by the sight of the person he always loved to see.

"Y/N?" Spencer said, his mood shifting completely.

"Hi Spence!" She said.

Spencer placed the mug of coffee back on the counter before rushing forward and wrapping Y/N in his arms. As he hugged her, he lifted her up from the floor and spun her around causing her to laugh in his ear.

"I thought you weren't getting back until next week?" Spencer questioned, setting her back down on her feet, arms lingering around her.

"Well our vacation was cut short as someone forgot to book out the hotel room for an extra week so we came back early." Y/N explained.

"I'm sorry, I know you were excited." Spencer said, stepping back from her.

Y/N waved him off, "It doesn't matter anyways, a week was enough. And besides I missed everyone," Y/N reached up and messed up Spencer's hair, "Speaking of which, where is everyone?"

"Not here yet, I came in early." Spencer answered.

"Huh, that explains it," Y/N said, "Now come and tell me how you survived without me for a week."

Y/N grabbed onto Spencer's hand and dragged him back to his desk. He watched as she did this with loving eyes. He had known her for seven years and in all that time, he had never stopped loving her, even if he knew that she didn't love him in the same way.

Seven Years Ago (April 2010)

The team were on a case and it happened to be Y/N's first one. Her and Spencer had been tasked with doing the geographical profile and they had found out quickly that they worked well together. Spencer, however, was finding it difficult to take his eyes away from Y/N. Of course he still did the work that needed to be done but every so often he would find his gaze drifting towards her.

Spencer knew that he needed to stop. The two of them worked together and he couldn't jeopardize his job over something as little as a silly crush. He didn't even think he could call it a silly crush, he just found Y/N attractive. And calling it a crush when he was thirty was silly in his eyes.

Both of their attention was diverted to Y/N's phone that rang for the third time in the past five minutes. Letting out a huff, Y/N picked it up and went to hang up.

"Take it." Spencer said.

"What?" Y/N questioned.

"Take the call," Spencer stated, "I'm fine with doing this myself for a few minutes."

Y/N gave him a smile before answering and stepping out of the room for a little more privacy. Spencer, as much as he tried to stop himself, drifted his gaze to where Y/N was standing outside the room. A wide smile was present on her face as she talked with whoever it was on the phone. Spencer hadn't noticed who the caller ID was, it could have been a parent, sibling, friend. Spencer wasn't normally the curious type but when it came to Y/N, he was.

A few minutes passed and Y/N hung up the phone and stepped back into the room. Throwing her phone back down onto the table. There was a smile on her face that clearly wasn't there before.

"Who was that?" The question came tumbling out of Spencer's mouth before he could stop himself.

"Oh it was just James, my husband." Y/N answered.

Spencer felt his heart break. He had no idea she was married. She didn't wear a wedding ring and she hadn't said anything that had even indicated that she was married. Even though he had just met her, Spencer felt this pull towards her and hearing that she was married broke that pull ever so slightly.

"I didn't know you were married?" Spencer said, suddenly avoiding eye contact.

"Yep," Y/N answered, not noticing the shift in Spencer's behaviour, "Coming up a year now. I don't wear my wedding ring at work because I'm afraid I'll lose it."

"Well congratulations." Spencer said, giving her a tight lipped smile.

"Thanks Spence." Y/N smiled, the same smile that had caused his knees to go weak before.

Spencer gave her a small nod in acknowledgment before turning back to the map he was studying.

Y/N was sitting on top of Spencer's desk, her legs crossed over one another. Spencer remained seated in his chair. Her foot occasionally brushed his thigh. He wanted to move away although he knew that she would ask what was wrong and he didn't have an answer prepared for that question.

"So, how much did everyone miss me?" Y/N questioned.

"A lot," Spencer answered truthfully, "You're here everyday all day, it was hard not to miss you."

"Now you know what it's like when you go off teaching." Y/N joked, nudging Spencer's thigh with her foot.

"But the difference is that you call me everyday asking how I am." Spencer replied, a smile playing on his lips.

"Well I have to make sure grading all those papers doesn't make you go insane, even if you do it in probably like ten minutes." Y/N chuckled.

Spencer laughed along with her. He never realised how much he missed her until this moment. The two have talked practically everyday for the past seven years, the only exception being when he was in prison, even then she visited him every opportunity she could.

"So, how's James?" Spencer questioned.

Almost immediately, the joking atmosphere surrounding the two dispersed leaving a slightly uncomfortable one. It would be hard to notice but due to Spencer knowing Y/N so well, he easily noticed something was off about her.

"Oh, well he's fine." Y/N replied.

"You sure?" Spencer pushed, knowing that something was the matter with her.

"Yeah, everything is fine." Y/N said bluntly, casting her gaze downward.

Spencer leaned forward so he was in her direct eyeline, "Y/N, if there is anything wrong, you can tell me."

Y/N gave him a small reassuring smile, "I know Spence, but everything is fine."

Seven Years Ago (September 2010)

Everything wasn't fine. Spencer was extremely worried. Y/N had been abducted by the unsub and Spencer blamed himself. Everyone knew that the unsub had been targeting women that had a very close resemblance to Y/N and Spencer, after ascourting her home, left her before she even made it into her apartment block.

His leg bounced up and down as the team sat around the round table. Spencer could feel the sympathetic stares from everyone around the table. They all knew about his unrequited crush on Y/N, they never said anything about it but they knew.

"Where's my wife?"

Everyone's attention was suddenly snapped to the owner of the voice. They all knew it as they had all met Y/N's husband a couple of times before. One by one, they exited the round table room and approached James.

James's head snapped up when the team approached him, "Where is she?" He asked desperately.

"We don't know." Hotch stated, trying to calm the man down.

Spencer shrunk back. He knew that he should have waited until she was safely in her apartment black. He should have walked her up the several flights of stairs himself to make sure she got there safely. The genius didn't know what he was thinking when he bid goodbye to her outside the apartment block. Maybe it was the fact that she looked beautiful with the light of the streetlamps caressing her face, maybe distracted him.

Once everyone dispersed, leaving James to sit on his own, Spencer approached him.

"It was my fault." Spencer said.

"Sorry?" James said, lifting his head up to look at Spencer.

"I was walking her back to your apartment block and I didn't watch to see if she got in safely," Spencer confessed, avoiding eye contact at all costs, "I'm so sorry."

James raised to his feet, he was slightly shorter than Spencer but the boy genius couldn't help but feel intimidated.

James clasped a firm hand on Spencer's shoulder and he flinched slightly, "Don't apologise, only apologise if you can't find her. If you're as smart as she says you are, you can figure it out."

Spencer's mouth opened and closed as James walked away to calm himself down. There was nothing he could say at that moment, all he knew was that he needed to get Y/N back.

***

A day had passed and the team had tracked down the unsub to an old abandoned warehouse. As they all searched for Y/N, Spencer couldn't help but wonder if they were too late. He knew that he shouldn't think of things like that but he couldn't help himself. He couldn't imagine his life without Y/N in it. The two had only known each other for a few months but the two had become attached at the hip while they were at work.

After what felt like forever, they finally found Y/N strapped to a table - not moving. Spencer rushed forward while everyone else searched for the unsub. Frantically he checked for a pulse, sighing in relief when he felt one. She was only knocked out.

"Y/N?" Spencer gently shook her.

"Y/N?" He shook her slightly harder and she began to stir.

Opening her eyes, the first thing she saw was Spencer, "Spencer?" She mumbled.

"It's me, it's me." Spencer said, unstrapping her from the table.

Once he had released her, Y/N threw her arms around his neck. Spencer's arms wrapped around her waist pulling her against him. Pulling away after a moment, Y/N pressed a small kiss to Spencer's cheek, "Thank you."

"Why are you thanking me?" Spencer questioned, a red tinge coating his face.

"For saving me." Y/N responded before trying to shuffle off the table.

"Careful," Spencer said, inspecting her body for any injuries, "Are you okay?"

"I'm okay," Y/N said, "He didn't really do anything too drastic. Gave me a couple punches and injected me with something that knocked me out, but other than that I'm fine."

"You still have to get checked out." Spencer said as the two began to exit the warehouse.

Y/N groaned, "Really?"

"Really." Spencer answered and Y/N let out another groan.

Back at the BAU, James paced around waiting for the team to return with Y/N. When the elevator doors opened and Y/N stepped out with the rest of the team, James practically sprinted over to her and pulled her into his arms. He whispered reassuring words into her ear as the team watched the two reunite. Spencer, who had been standing near the back of the group, watched the two with hurt in his eyes, wishing that it were him holding her like that.

Days had passed since Y/N had returned and practically every night she went out with everyone. She missed being with everyone. Spencer even joined them to the surprise of everyone, but they all knew that the only reason he was there was because of Y/N.

"So Y/N, how was your vacation?" Tara questioned.

"It was relaxing, a week away from hunting down serial killers, it was great." Y/N answered, taking a sip of her drink.

"Come on it had to be more than great," Penelope said, "You and James haven't had quality alone time in ages, tell us more about that."

"I don't think everyone needs to hear about my sex life." Y/N stated, chuckling.

"Fine," Penelope huffed, "But you're telling me later."

"Speaking of James, where is he?" Emily questioned, "I haven't seen him in ages and we are due for another drinking contest."

"He was busy tonight," Y/N answered, "A friend of his came to visit so he's gone to his house for the week."

Spencer noticed that as Y/N spoke, she fiddled with the bracelet on her wrist, a habit he knew that indicated she was lying. He took a sip of his water, deciding not to bring it up in front of everyone.

"That's fair but tell him that next time he better be here." Emily said finishing off her drink.

"Yes boss." Y/N stated.

Spencer watched her behavior for the rest of the night. Y/N seemed a little more closed off after the conversation about James. She didn't accept any more alcoholic drinks, she only drank water for the rest of the night and she didn't get up and dance when everyone else did, she remained at Spencer's side.

"Do you want to get out of here?" Spencer questioned, raising his voice so he could be heard over the music.

Y/N looked at the others before nodding, "Yes please."

The two bid goodbye to everyone and headed out into the cold night air. Y/N wrapped her arms around herself, the dress she wore did nothing to cover her arms. Without hesitation, Spencer took his jacket off and draped it around her shoulders. Y/N gave him a small smile and muttered a 'thank you'.

"Do you want a ride?" Y/N questioned.

"Only if you're sober." Spencer said.

"I only had one drink and that was over an hour ago, I'm pretty sure I'm fine to drive." Y/N said and climbed into the driver's seat while Spencer climbed in the passenger seat.

Spencer knew that there was something up with Y/N. Normally the car would be filled with chatter, instead the car was filled with a deafening silence. Y/N tapped the side of the steering wheel as she drove, a habit Spencer knew she did when something was bothering her.

"What was up with you tonight?" Spencer questioned, he knew that there were many other ways he could have rephrased that question, instead he went for the blunt option.

"Nothing, I'm fine." Y/N replied bluntly.

"Something obviously is." Spencer said. He had noticed that every time James was brought up she began to act strangely. She would become quieter and more distant - she didn't act like herself.

"Is it James?" Spencer asked.

Y/N visibly stiffened and clutched the steering wheel tighter, "No." She lied.

"Y/N, if something is wrong you can tell me." Spencer said softly.

"Nothing is the matter." Y/N said, eyes staring out at the road in front of her.

"We both know that's not the truth," Spencer said, "You can tell me."

Suddenly Y/N pulled over, causing Spencer to become confused. He looked over to her and she had tears pooling in her eyes. Immediately he pulled her into a hug. It was slightly awkward due to their positions in the car but neither of them cared. Y/N needed comfort in that moment and Spencer needed to comfort her.

"We split up." Y/N mumbled into Spencer's chest.

"What?" Spencer asked.

"We split up," Y/N said again, "Nearly six months ago."

"What? Why didn't you tell anyone?" Spencer asked but the question he wanted to ask was 'Why didn't you tell me?'

"I didn't want anyone to know," Y/N said, "We've been trying to work out our relationship, that's why we went on that vacation but it didn't work. We argued on the first day and didn't speak to each other for the rest of the week, only to arrange flights home."

"Is that why you came back a week early?" Spencer asked and he felt Y/N nod, "You don't have to answer if you don't want to but why did you split up?"

Y/N sighed and pulled away from Spencer, wiping her eyes, "We've been drifting apart for a while, James always accused me of being more married to my job than him," Y/N began to explain, "It wasn't until you were in prison where we began to distance ourselves more. It was my fault really, I spent all my time trying to find a way to get you out of prison that I didn't make any time for him."

Spencer looked down at his hands, "So it was my fault you two separated?" Many emotions flooded through Spencer. If he wasn't so close with Y/N then she wouldn't have spent all her time trying to find a way to get him out of prison.

"No!" Y/N exclaimed, "God no! Spencer this was in no way your fault. It was mine, like he said, I was married to my job, not him," Spencer still didn't look up from his hands. Y/N reached out and took his hands in hers, "I know you think this was your fault but it wasn't. We were growing apart long before you went to prison, we fell out of love a long time ago."

Spencer looked up, making eye contact with Y/N once again. His heart broke at the sight. Her eyes were bloodshot and her eyes were red around the outside from her rubbing them. And there he sat feeling guilty for two reasons. One being that he blamed himself for the two splitting up and the second being that he should be the one comforting her, not the other way around.

"The divorce papers came through this morning." Y/N said, looking down at her and Spencer's entwined hands.