i wake up to the blinding fluorescent lights in my hospital room. i take in my surroundings. it's a very plain room. bathroom to the left, door to leave straight ahead, a water cup and jello next to me, white bedsheets. to my left, i see someone i recognize, i can't quite make out their face. he looks tall.

this man reaches for my hand and instantly jerk it away. he has the same build as alan. what if it's him?

"stella it's okay, it's hotch." the man whispers. just then, the image becomes clearer. it is hotch.

"i- i'm sorry." i mutter, and he scoots closer to me, taking my hand, which is oddly comforting.

"stella, do you remember what happened to you?" hotch asks politely.

i hesitate for a second. i do remember. but i don't want to give hotch the details. i would rather give them to emily or JJ.

"i do. but in this case, i would be more comfortable talking to a woman about what happened." i answer in the nicest way possible.

"i understand. i'll go get JJ." hotch says, patting my hand. a few moments later, JJ walks in, giving me a gentle hug.

"stella, i know this will be hard, but i need you to describe to me everything that happened, from the beginning." JJ asks, taking a seat.

i nod in response, and begin. "i was at quantico and i found a note from alan, telling me that he's coming for me. i reported it to hotch and spencer saw it, and said to come over if i was scared. next thing we knew we were all at spencer's. alan had taken him. the. hotch told us to all go home and get some rest. so when i got home, i got a call from an unknown number, and it was alan. he broke into my house, and he, uh, he took me. i tried to fight him off but i couldn't." at this point, tears were streaming down my cheeks.

JJ puts a hand on my knee. "stella, i know this is hard. but in order for us to lock this man up for life, we need your full story."

i nod, and continue. "next thing i knew, i was in a room. i was blindfolded. and when he took it off, i was face to face with spencer. he said that one of us will die within 24 hours, and we had to choose between one of us. we obviously didn't talk about that once alan left the room. we tried to escape, we tried to comfort each other."

i choke back sobs. "then around hour 18, he came back into the room, he asked if we had decided. we obviously hadn't, so he came onto me. he began by rubbing my shoulders, and then his hands pushed my shirt down, exposing my breasts. spencer tried to yell at him to stop. in response, alan kicked spencer's chair out of reach, and forced us to watch. if we didn't, he said he would slit our throats."

"did he try to silence you in any way?" JJ asks.

i nod. "he said if we cried out for help, he would cut us. then he made me.. he made me suck him off. that lasted for about 3 minutes, then he ripped my belt off, and tore my pants. he entered me, JJ. he violated me. and spencer saw the whole thing, and he couldn't say anything. our only way of communication was the tears streaming down our cheeks."

"stella, that is absolutely terrible." JJ mutters.

"i'm not done. he bit my shoulders." i pull down my hospital gown to show her, and then continue. "he came inside of me. then once he pulled out, he walked over to spencer, and it looked like he was about to rape him too, but then you all came."

"is that it?" JJ asks, and i nod in response.

"okay. thank you stella. are you up for visitors? you have a few waiting." JJ asks.

i give a weak smile and nod. she opens the door and signals for everyone to come in. morgan walked in, followed by emily and penelope. morgan walks to my side and pulls me into a hug.

"how are you feeling, stella?" garcia asks.

"better than before. i'm definitely going to need some therapy after this though." i respond.

i glance around at everyone in the room. i don't see spencer, rossi, or hotch. "where's everyone else?"

"they're getting spencer's story now. spencer's injuries weren't as bad as yours, so once he's finished, they're discharging him. everyone else will be in shortly." emily says from the corner of the room.

as time passes, we reminisce on old, funny memories at work. we talk about foods and drinks we like, and how much we all hate hospitals. after i finish talking about how much i hate hospital food, the door opens, and in walks spencer.

"spencer.." i mumble as he walks over quickly and pulls me into a hug. if i could stay in his arms forever, i would. after a few minutes, i pull away, and stare into his eyes, then break the gaze as emily cuts in.

"we will give you two some privacy." emily mumbles quietly. we both nod in her direction as everyone walks out.

spencer sits in a chair and scoots it close to the side of my bed, putting his hand over the top of mine. "stella, how are you feeling?"

"i mean, better than when we were being held captive, that's for sure. how about you? how's your eye?" i ask, reaching to caress it.

he grabs my hand just as i'm about to touch it, his quick action making me jump. "sorry, i didn't know." i mumble.

he drops my hand. "it's okay. it just hurts when it is touched." i nod at his response, accepting it.

"i feel so bad." spencer begins, his voice cracking.

"why?" i ask, grabbing his hand. he looks at me. "you got r-raped right in front of me and i couldn't help you. i couldn't even reassure you that everything was going to be okay." his stutter was breaking my heart. i hate seeing spencer this sad.

"spencer, please don't feel bad. he would've killed you. i want you alive, no matter the cost. anyway, if i would've just given myself up, you wouldn't have gotten kidnapped in the first place."

"stella, you had no way of knowing what he was going to do,-" spencer gets cut off by the nurses and doctors coming into the room.

"we need to check her vitals and run a rape kit and do a full body exam. you're going to have to leave for this part." the nurse says to spencer.

spencer questions the nurse. "why haven't you ran a rape kit yet?" he sounds angry.

"she didn't show signs of sexual assault until one of your agents informed us." the nurse says calmly.

"well, for your information, she was. i was forced to watch it." i grab his arm before he can continue, trying to calm him down.

"spencer, it's okay. i'll see you in half an hour." i say, trying to reassure him.

he nods and shoved his way past the nurses and doctors, back towards the waiting room. the nurses proceed to check my vitals, and they are good, as hoped. they pulled up my hospital gown and then began to run a rape kit. while my gown was up, they checked over my body. my blood was circulating normally, and my bruising and cuts were healing nicely.

they took the rape kit to be processed, and then lowered my hospital gown. i remember them shoving pills down my throat vaguely before i lost consciousness again. emily told me that those were sedatives, and one of them was a plan b. so i most likely wasn't getting pregnant.

"once your rape kit results come back, you can be discharged. we do have to go over some guidelines first, though." the nurse states, and i nod.

she proceeds to tell me that i am not cleared to work in the field for at least a week and half, and that those are the doctor's orders. any time after that will be up to hotch or strauss. she gave me a few pamphlets for therapists. i noticed they gave spencer the same ones. it must be procedure.

before i knew it, i was getting changed in the clothes that emily had picked up from my apartment. once she brought them in, she told me that the rape kit came back positive, which i knew. i'm just glad that they can charge him with something else on top of the murders.

as i walked out into the lobby, i got a glance of myself in a mirror. man, i looked like crap. my hair isn't brushed, the dark circles under my eyes are very large, and the bruises on the side of my head are quite noticeable. i sighed at my appearance, and continue to follow emily.

i am greeted by spencer and morgan, pulling morgan into a quick hug, and then spencer after.

"do you need a ride home?" morgan asks once i pull away from spencer's hug.

i smile and nod. "thank you morgan. i'll see you guys in a day or so. i'm cleared for office work, i just can't be in the field. i just need a day off to recover. hotch knows."

they all smile and bid their goodbyes as morgan and i walk out of the hospital. once we get in the car, he turns to me.

"hey, when we were in that room yesterday, you looked like you really went through it. just know, that if you ever need someone to talk to, i'm here. my office door, my apartment door, they are always open." morgan finishes.

my lips twitch up to form a small smile. "thank you derek. i may take you up on that offer." i pulled him into a hug. the feeling of morgan's arms around mine felt oddly comforting.

after a few minutes, he pulled out of the lot and shortly after, arrived at my apartment.

"i'll walk you up." he offers, getting out. i nod, and follow him upstairs.

i unlock my front door and see my apartment just as i remember it. glass shattered all over the floor, my broken ceramic bowl.

"stella? you okay?" morgan asks, trying to get my attention. a quick tear slides down my cheek. "i cant stay here. not tonight."

"you can stay at my place for the night if you want." he offers, and i nod as he grabs my hand and leads me back to his car, and before i know it, i am asleep in morgan's bed. he insisted on me taking the bed and him on the couch. i fall asleep as soon as my head hits the pillow.