I wake up to hear Matthew's voice coming from the bathroom again, except this time he sounds more agitated. I try to make out what he's saying, but it's all muffled behind the bathroom door. I quickly look back up when the bathroom door swings open, and he looks distraught.

"You have to go." He sternly says and begins packing my bag. I give him a confused look before getting out of bed.

"What? Why? What's going on?" I ask, but he's too busy to answer. I walk towards him and I turn him around to face me.

"Carrie is on her way right now, and she could walk in at any second so you can't be here." He raises his voice and I'm taken aback. Matthew has never come close to raising his voice at me or making me feel this unwanted. How did he go from being comforting and caring yesterday to being so cold today?

How many times am I going to let him hurt me?

When is the last straw?

I go to grab what I left in the bathroom and put it in the bag. I look around and notice how it looks like I was never even here. How quickly the memories we made are getting ruined. I was so stupid and started calling this home. I called his bed our bed. I called his house our house. This was never my home. I don't belong here. I'm just an intruder.

I follow him downstairs to the front door. I look up at him with pleading eyes just begging for him to show me the Matthew I know. The Matthew I love, but he just shoves my bag into my chest.

"Lydia, leave. I have to clean this place up." His voice is so cold. So empty. There isn't a speck of love like I truly don't matter to him. I really am pathetic. He's just another guy I let use me. When am I going to learn? I rush out without saying a word and get into my car.

I want to cry. I want to scream. I want to run back into that house and treat him how he treated me. I hit my steering wheel as my eyes sting with tears forcing themselves out. My breathing hitches when his wife drives right by me. I look in my rearview mirror to see her pull in so casually. Because that's her house. Unlike me, she's wanted there. She's meant to be there. I'm just a mistress. That's all I am to Matthew. God, and I believed him! I believed every single lie he told me about how much he cares about me and how important I am to him. It was all just an act just to get in my pants. Just to fill his time.

I sit in silence the whole drive home. I can't get how cold his voice sounded out of my head. How is that the same man who held my hair back while I puked? The same man that said he wanted to know more about me. The same man who forced me to get ice cream with him in the middle of the night. Jesus fucking Christ he deserves an Oscar for that one. He really had me fooled. Every single second of it.

Fuck, I even convinced myself he'd leave his wife for me. As if he would really ruin his life for a barista who can barely pay her rent and can't afford school. I'm such a fool. I can't believe myself. I let this happen. I brought him into my life and I let him tear it apart. I really don't have an ounce of self respect, do I? I could almost laugh at myself. It's so embarrassing.

Now, he's with his wife. Hugging her. Kissing her. Fucking her. All the things he did with me. Like I don't even exist. I probably don't even exist to him anymore. Matthew got what he wanted. Whatever he wanted from me, he got it. Matthew didn't even have to try.

"I adore you."

"I can't lose you."

"You're so beautiful."

"I'm gonna miss you."

Every fucking word he told me was a lie. Every word, every kiss, every hug, every fuck, was all a god damn lie. He played me like a fiddle, and I didn't stop him.

Jesus, I'm such an embarrassment. I told myself after I broke up with my last jerk off of a boyfriend I wouldn't let this happen again, and here I am. Same place, different asshat of a dude.

I thought he was different. I truly did. He did everything right, but I'm back to just laying in bed crying over him. Just like the pathetic mess that I am.

I'm done with him. Nothing he says can make me change my mind. I won't let him use me and manipulate me anymore. I'm so fucking over it.

I'm not letting any man play me like that again.