You woke up in the morning to 17 missed calls from Spencer, 2 from JJ, 3 from Derek, and 6 from Garcia. You sighed as you threw the phone on the bed and walked to Nate's kitchen. You laughed, seeing him dead asleep, sprawled across the couch like he used to do during your high school movie marathon nights.

You went to get some coffee, your phone ringing again. You let it be, assuming it was Spencer. You wanted to talk to him but you also needed a little distance.

You eventually retreated back to Nate's room, picking up the phone and seeing a new voicemail. You clicked on it, hearing Spencer's voice.

"Y/N, baby, I know you're mad at me. You have every right to be. I was acting terribly yesterday. I wish I could come over and beg for your forgiveness but there's been an emergency. My mom's condition just got a whole lot worse so I'm flying to Vegas in an hour. I love you. I'm so sorry. I'll call you when I land. "

You frowned, feeling crappy because on top of everything he had to deal with, between your kidnapping, the hospital, the news, and the fight, his mom also wasn't doing well. You loved Diana. You wished you and Spencer were on better terms at the moment. You also wished he would've told you beforehand. You would've gone. It was Diana.

Three hours later, you and Nate were camped out on the couch, watching a random movie. You got a call but decided to silence your phone. You didn't want to speak to anyone, you just wanted to forget about the events you'd just been through. One minute later, Nate's phone went off. He picked it up to see an unknown number so he didn't answer.

Two minutes later, there was a knock at the door. You stood up and opened it, coming face to face with a random girl. "Is one of you named Y/N?" she asked as you opened the door, looking confused. You nodded. "I just got a call from the FBI, they're trying to get a hold of you?" she said with a questioning tone. You smiled at the girl and thanked her before closing the door to Nate's apartment. You sighed and picked up your phone, dialing Penelope.

"Penelope I'm not in the mood. It's one thing to bother me but now it's Nate and his neighbors? You're going to make these people think I'm a criminal," you complained.

"Y/N, have you spoken to Spencer today?"

"No, we're having a bit of a fight," you muttered.

"Yeah I heard. But, uh," Penelope began. You stopped listening when Nate pulled your arm.

"A plane just crashed by the Grand Canyon," he said in a surprised tone. You looked at the TV, the headline reading:

"Y/N? Still there?"

"Penelope, Spencer was flying down to Vegas this morning," you began, tears welling in your eyes. Nate's head snapped up in your direction, his eyes widening.

"That's why I was calling. Spencer bought a ticket for that flight," she said, her voice cracking.

"No," you said, collapsing to the ground. "No."

"Y/N, I have no idea what happened. There's no information at all. All flight information is sealed."

"Penny," you whispered, beginning to sob. Nate frowned and hugged you, rubbing your back softly. "Unseal it, you can do it. I can't handle this Penny. Not after everything. I can't lose him."

"Come down to the bureau. Be my visitor for the day. That way, the second we know something, you're here."

"Ok. I'll come," you said in between sobs. You left Nate's comforting embrace and changed. An hour later you were sitting in Penelope's bat cave, drinking hot chocolate out of an octopus mug.

"Any updates?" You asked, crossing your legs on the spinny chair.

"Nothing as of yet. I don't understand why these are sealed," she muttered. Hotch entered the room and squeezed your shoulder.

"It appears to be a terrorist attack. We're going to be flying down. Y/N, this is definitely against protocol, but, if you want, we can bring you down with us?" He asked. You nodded, giving him a hug.

"Thank you Aaron," you whispered into his chest, his strong arms returning the hug. You pulled away and wiped your eyes, frowning. "It appears I got your shirt wet," you said softly.

Hotch looked down and shook his head. "It'll dry. Do you need to go to your apartment and get clothes? JJ can take you, she has to stop at home for something anyway."

You nodded and left the room, but not before kissing Garcia's cheek gently. "Thanks PG," you whispered, knowing she had a hand in this. She squeezed your hand gently before returning to her screens. You met JJ in the bullpen.

"Y/N, I heard about the fight," JJ said, looking up at you. "I'm sorry, you've had a terrible last 2 days."

"I don't even know how it ended up like this. And Spence was so angry, I've never seen him like that."

"He didn't mean to take his frustration out on you. He felt so bad, he was at my house crying all night." You frowned, thinking about how he was feeling. "Has Spencer ever told you what we called the Reid Effect?" JJ asked, removing you from your thoughts.

"No?"

"Animals and children used to be scared of him."

"No way. He's so good with Henry.** And Sergio," you said, smiling softly thinking about him.

"Yeah, well at some point the Reid effect faded. And when it did, Spencer would always say that he wanted kids, but he's always been scared because of his mom's schizophrenia," JJ continued, standing up and grabbing her bag.

"Yeah, we've had that conversation," you replied, following JJ out of the bullpen.

"He told me once, on a case, how you were the one for him. He said that he was going to marry you and have kids with you. It was way early on too, which is what surprised me. But I suppose he always knew," JJ said, walking into the elevator.

"Spencer is my dream come true JJ, he's perfect. I mean as perfect as a human being can get," you muttered, tears beginning to prick your eyes.

"I know he didn't handle the news well. But in his defense, he was just as excited about a kid as you were, if not more. He wants it all with you and he was so scared that you would leave him after the last 48 hours."

"Leave him? I was scared he would leave me."

"He would never. That man loves you far too much," JJ said gently.

"Oh god JJ, I don't want want to live without him. I don't know what I'll do if he's gone," you croaked, bursting into tears right before the elevator doors opened. JJ wrapped your crying frame in her arms, trying to console you.

"Shhh. He's alive. He's Spencer Reid. I'm sure he's alive."

-

I have returned with another installment of pain and trauma. A lot of you wanted more suffering so I guess you're welcome? I initially had a happier chapter planned but whatever, this works too.