Funny reader ahead, who can't take anything seriously-

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"Come on Y/n!" Leith whined pulling at your arm. You just shook your head. "There is no way in hell I am going to a haunted house!" You yanked your arm from her grip. She just stood up, crossing her arms. "It's not even real! They're acting! Just pretty please!" She folded her hands together and pouted. "With a cherry on top?" She got on one knee, "I will allow you to play with my hair."

Your eyes widened. She never let you do that, and you've always wanted to since it always looked so fluffy. "Deal!" Your hand shot up to her head and she stopped you. "After, the haunted house." You pulled your hand back and huffed.

"Fine."

You and Leith got out of the car, shutting the doors behind you. You looked up at the old house and cringed at how many people there were. Leith grabbed your arm and pulled you towards a stand. The lady looked up at you bored and pushed two contracts towards you.

"Welcome to our haunted house, we hope you enjoy your time here. Please sign this contract, it means we are not responsible if you get hurt while playing and let's us know you're alright with experiencing, claustrophobia, foul scents, strobe lighting, fog, dizziness, extreme temperatures, loud noises and the actors may touch you, but not harm you." She explained.

Your eyes widened. "There is no way in hell some crusty old man's hands are going to touch my glorious bod-"

"Thank you!" Leith smiled, quickly signing the contracts for both of you and pulling you towards the entrance, where someone gave you a stamp on your hand and let you inside. Leith had done a little dance while entering from excitement.

You chuckled at her adorable antics and almost fell down from shock when you heard 2 women scream and a chainsaw in the distance. Leith stabled you and patted your back. "Don't lose your footing, we can't afford injuries, well I mean me specifically, I won't be able to pay for your hospital bills."

You scoffed. "Bitch is worried about money instead of- AHHHHHHHHHH!" You screamed as you saw Micheal Myers running at you with a knife in hand. But instead of running away, you ran towards him. "It's my beefy, cakey thicky, big dick daddy!" You wailed feeling his enormous pecs.

He just stumbled back. "Lady what is wrong with you?!" Leith laughed and had to practically rip your arms from the poor man as she just shook her head while chuckling. You guys moved forward and the temperature dropped, immensely. You shivered and Leith had warmed your arms up with her hands.

You guys walked into a dark room, with flickering lights and a sign that said "Do not disturb" You laughed. "Hoes don't want to be disturbed but can disturb u-" You words were muffled as a hand flew towards your mouth and brought a rag up to it, your eyes rolling in the back of your head and having the feeling of falling to the ground.

The last thing you heard was Leith screaming your name.

You woke up tied to a chair, in a dimly lit room that stunk.

You gagged, "This room smells like my grandpa and grandma just had sex." You heard a deep chuckle. "Holy fuck that was hot, do that again-" The chuckling stopped. "Woman what did you just say?"

Your mouth popped open. "Holy fucking heaven, your voice is even hotter, speak into my ear please!"

You heard shuffling and breathing on your neck. "Is this better?" His deep and raspy voice had just performed miracles. You shivered, then stopped. "Wait, didn't you kidnap me? I though actors weren't supposed to hurt us, fucking asshole."

He brought something sharp and cold to your neck. "Is this knife fake to you? Or what about this blood?" He brought his reddened glove to your chin and faced it upwards. Revealing a ghostface mask, splattered with blood.

You deadpanned. "I don't know, for all I know that could be some damned ketchup." He groaned in frustration and went straight to the point. "Woman I'm here to fucking kill you!"

You shrugged. "Okay."

He jerked his head towards you. "What the fuck do you mean by okay? I'm going to murder you!" Your lips flattened. "I mean okay, fine, kill me, end my misery, I'm ready to go."

He took a breath in, "Oh my god, I kidnapped a fucking suicidal." You grimaced. "Not suicidal, just depressed and know when to give up."

Then your eyes widened as realization sunk in. "Wait! I'm a virgin! Oh god you can't kill me yet!" He threw his hands up, "Now you don't want to die?! Because you're a fucking virgin?!" You shook your head like it was obvious. "Obviously, bitch I don't want someone to put on my fucking gravestone, R.I.P Virgin, you will be missed!"

He waved his hands around. "Who the fuck would do that?!" You nodded your head forward. "Maybe me- But that's not the poi-"

"Maybe you? Maybe you?!" He groaned, "I'm just going to kill you." He stepped forward bringing the knife to your neck. "Wait!" He slapped the knife down onto the chair. "What now suicidal?!"

"Fuck me." You whispered.

"WOMAN OF FUCKING SATAN WHAT THE HELL DID YOU JUST SAY!" He screamed taking a couple of steps back. "I said fuck me, you idiot! I'm not dying a fucking virgin!"

He wailed, "You know what-" He opened the door. "Go! Just- just go." He cried and you shook around wiggling in your restraints. "Blind bitch, you tied me up, I can't go anywhere."

He growled and quickly ran forward, cutting the rope and you stood up and stretched. "Suicidal, leave before I change my fucking mind!" You nodded and walked towards the door but stopped and looked towards him.

"I love you, big dick daddy, I will miss yo-"

He slammed the door in your face. You scoffed. "Rude ass bitch."

You walked towards the entrance and you saw the same Michael Myers and you winked while he just quickly looked away. You stopped in your tracks, you were forgetting something.

Something important?

What was it?

You shrugged walking towards the car, as actors handed you flyers and other things. You looked at the car plate that said "Leith's Whore" and then your eyes widened.

"I forgot Leith!"

How were you supposed to play with her hair if she wasn't even here?! You quickly turned around and ran back to where you were kidnapped.

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